Sexual Question (dun dun dunnnnnnnn)

[SayWhat]

Hi everyone!

I'd like some tips, please!

As you may have seen, I posted a thread about a "bi-curious" guy that I've been running into a lot at parties. He's always very hands on (playing with my ears, pinching my nipples, etc.) even to the point that his male and female friends have made comments about him wanting to "try out the dark side".

I'm not used to being the one to initiate the first sexual encounter, so I really have no idea where to start.

I know there's obviously the risk of rejection, awkwardness, etc. but I'm fairly confident that there is mutual interest in the situation.

My question is this:
How do you go from that flirty/hands on stage to the actual deed???


And, as always, I'd love to hear from the ladies, too!

 

[joninliverton]

Hi everyone!

I'd like some tips, please!

As you may have seen, I posted a thread about a "bi-curious" guy that I've been running into a lot at parties. He's always very hands on (playing with my ears, pinching my nipples, etc.) even to the point that his male and female friends have made comments about him wanting to "try out the dark side".

I'm not used to being the one to initiate the first sexual encounter, so I really have no idea where to start.

I know there's obviously the risk of rejection, awkwardness, etc. but I'm fairly confident that there is mutual interest in the situation.

My question is this:
How do you go from that flirty/hands on stage to the actual deed???


And, as always, I'd love to hear from the ladies, too!

Without knowing the full history it's hard to give an honest piece of advice however, this guy could be just teasing you as a laugh in front of his and your friends so please be aware. If he was so serious then why didn't he give u a call (I assume you have each others numbers) and not just wait until the next party to just repeat the same things again.

Sorry to sound so negative but I wouldn't like to see you hurt or embarrassed.

 

[SayWhat]

Without knowing the full history it's hard to give an honest piece of advice however, this guy could be just teasing you as a laugh in front of his and your friends so please be aware. If he was so serious then why didn't he give u a call (I assume you have each others numbers) and not just wait until the next party to just repeat the same things again.

Sorry to sound so negative but I wouldn't like to see you hurt or embarrassed.

No that totally makes sense. It's kind of hard to explain. I think the handsy-ness happens when he's had a few drinks in him. And it doesn't seem like he does it to get a reaction from his friends, since they're not always around when it happens... There are three or four flamboyantly gay guys that throw themselves at him during the parties and he doesn't touch them at all. He doesn't punch them in the face, either... He just doesn't show interest.

The only reason it came up in conversation was because his girlfriend made a comment about how she hated be me because I'm gay and I want her man. And someone said "It may just be me, but seeing the way [insert straight boy name here] touches [insert my name here], I'd say it was the other way around" and then the rest of the group agreed.

I'm not even necessarily looking for advice about this particular guy... Just generally speaking, how you'd address the transition from a flirtatious situation to something more advanced.

 

[wantto]

No that totally makes sense. It's kind of hard to explain. I think the handsy-ness happens when he's had a few drinks in him. And it doesn't seem like he does it to get a reaction from his friends, since they're not always around when it happens... There are three or four flamboyantly gay guys that throw themselves at him during the parties and he doesn't touch them at all. He doesn't punch them in the face, either... He just doesn't show interest.

The only reason it came up in conversation was because his girlfriend made a comment about how she hated be me because I'm gay and I want her man. And someone said "It may just be me, but seeing the way [insert straight boy name here] touches [insert my name here], I'd say it was the other way around" and then the rest of the group agreed.

I'm not even necessarily looking for advice about this particular guy... Just generally speaking, how you'd address the transition from a flirtatious situation to something more advanced.

hey buddy...though I would share what happened to me..
well i had an experience like this late last year. there was a guy in my office who was completely straight and we got on well....haha but yes I had the crush on him.
my thoughts were there was no point to tell him because he is straight. Well anyway he moved to another area of NZ and on his last day at work we all went out for drinks. Now there was a lot of alcohol flowing and a couple of the girls (whom I had confided in about my crush) decided that it would be really cool to tell him!!!
he confronted me and I thought what the hell so I told him it was true and that he should take it as a compliment. He kind of walked away and left me standing there, I felt a little down I mean no one wants to be in that position but then he was straight so had to deal with it.
Well I decided to head home and he actually came after me and apologised for being a jack ass and came back to mine for a drink and we got chattin. he started gettin a little cheeky....haha and well the kissin started....and we ended up stayin up all night.
We have hoooked up a couple of times since then. he still professes that he is straight and just has some curiousities about guy on guy sex aswell as releasing inhibitions about what girls won't do with him.

I say my friend you could always get one of the girls to tell him on a night out that you have a crush and see his reaction?
haha although mine just happened you don't want it to look scripted. You could just be honest with him....
tell him that you like the attention he has been paying you and that you could get used to it.....hehe that he should be careful or you might start reciprocating.
Talk to him.....you never know.

 

[wantto]

hope I helped in some way buddy...kinda hard to give advice out...

oh well if it helps great. if it doesn't then i will pretend that someone else gave it!!!!lol

 

[joninliverton]

hope I helped in some way buddy...kinda hard to give advice out...

oh well if it helps great. if it doesn't then i will pretend that someone else gave it!!!!lol

Lucky dude Wannto x

 

[joninliverton]

No that totally makes sense. It's kind of hard to explain. I think the handsy-ness happens when he's had a few drinks in him. And it doesn't seem like he does it to get a reaction from his friends, since they're not always around when it happens... There are three or four flamboyantly gay guys that throw themselves at him during the parties and he doesn't touch them at all. He doesn't punch them in the face, either... He just doesn't show interest.

The only reason it came up in conversation was because his girlfriend made a comment about how she hated be me because I'm gay and I want her man. And someone said "It may just be me, but seeing the way [insert straight boy name here] touches [insert my name here], I'd say it was the other way around" and then the rest of the group agreed.

I'm not even necessarily looking for advice about this particular guy... Just generally speaking, how you'd address the transition from a flirtatious situation to something more advanced.

So it's just you who he teases then, then you may be onto something. His girlfriend bothers me though and if it is going to cause confrontation and possible hurt then I would stay well clear.

Why do we try to climb riskier/steep mountains when there are easier hills to conquer. x

 

[tampa24]

Lucky dude Wannto x

Isn't he though? haha

 

[MissDeidra]

Well. I don't know if any of this will help at all, but I just got out of a two year relationship with a gay man. It is actually quite a long story, but I will give you the basics. I met my ex Ioan through a group of friends, who introduced me to him as being gay. I formed a quick attachment to him but honestly only thought he saw me as a friend. We hung out a lot, and talked everyday and I am naturally a very touchy person and we would often touch, hold hands and even kiss, but I honesty thought nothing more of it as a simple gay and hag relationship. There was a night, we went to a Black Cherry Burlesque show and Ioan made a comment about one of the dancers that he would fuck her. And that got my minds wheels turning and over the next couple of months I started forming a crush on him that was kind of all consuming. All of my friends knew, and now I know he knew as well, and I was kind of where you are now. I wasn't really sure how to approach him not knowing if he was attracted to me. Now I have certain circumstances with my sexuality that would make a gay man certainly more sexually compatible with me than your average straight woman, and I had one of our friends engage Ioan in a conversation about it. The feedback I got from our mutual friend is that he had never been with a woman before, but certainly wasn't closed minded to trying it because he sometimes fantasized about women, although hadn't really admitted it to anyone before. So very shortly after my friend talked to him, I got the courage to bring the subject up with him, albeit fairly intoxicated. I told him straight out that if he ever wanted to experiment with girls and try it that I would be available. We talked for a while about it, and he decided that we would at least give it a chance to see if something developed. I would say that Ioan is pretty much gay, on the Kinsey scale, about a 5. During our entire relationship we never had vaginal sex, and really the only issue he had was about how femme I am. We have talked about it many times and I truly believe he wont ever be with other women, but trying it out was just something he needed to do. Maybe this bloke you are attracted to needs to explore this side of him and only needs to know that the option is there for him. If you don't put yourself out there a little bit you will never know....

 

[wantto]

Lucky dude Wannto x

haha yep I have to admit that I am pretty lucky jon

 

[wantto]

Isn't he though? haha

Wahoooooo tampie is back...we missed you buddy

 

[aquarius]

Two things, IHA: (1) You say you meet him at parties a lot which must mean you travel in the same social circles. If you try something and it falls through, it could cause quite a rift in your circle and could get you a reputation you might not want among the group you 'run with.' It's something to think about. (2) The best way is to meet him half way. When you see him at a party, join him as if you belong. Unobtrusively refill his drink. When he playfully pinches your ear, turn your face into his hand and smile. When he twinks your nipple, respond by moving ever so slightly closer. You know the drill. If he's interested, his attentions will become much more serious. If he's not, they will stop quickly and he'll move away and you'll get the signal. But, whatever you do, don't giggle and jump and respond like a teenage schoolgirl. And don't pinch back and pat back like a teenage school boy. This is natural animal instinct. And if he's going to issue some strong mating signals then you've got to issue some strong receptive signals back.

Hope that helps.

 

[jwglass]

from the way it sounds, you are playing hard to get. maybe its the fact that you arent gushing over him that makes him flirt the way he does. im not sure if this is good news but it might help you make a decision. at work i just got really close to this straight boy, a jehovah's witness to be specific! and we flirt and put on a show, but its all in good fun. some straight guys just need to flirt with other men when women arent quite living up to their standards. ever watch straight guys when they hang out? they are more relaxed around other guys. so by not being all over him like the other gays, he probably doesnt lump you in with them. does that make sense?

 

[mikeyank]

Wahoooooo tampie is back...we missed you buddy

Indeed, Welcome back home Tampa!!!

 

[aquarius]

from the way it sounds, you are playing hard to get. maybe its the fact that you arent gushing over him that makes him flirt the way he does. im not sure if this is good news but it might help you make a decision. at work i just got really close to this straight boy, a jehovah's witness to be specific! and we flirt and put on a show, but its all in good fun. some straight guys just need to flirt with other men when women arent quite living up to their standards. ever watch straight guys when they hang out? they are more relaxed around other guys. so by not being all over him like the other gays, he probably doesnt lump you in with them. does that make sense?

That makes perfect sense, JW. You should start an advice column. It's even more reason to give serious thought before you do anything, IHA.

 

[Jeffv71]

I won't tell you what you should do, but will share with you what happend with me and maybe that will help. Same type of story, I'm gay and going to parties with a bunch of straight people. Same type of guy, straight with girlfriend, but some guys hanging with the guys and the girls together off doing their thing. Well this straight guy Jose "with a girlfirend" use to do the same thing. He always talked to me, gave me attention, but when he got buzzed, things would go a little further. He use to touch me a lot, make sexual comments, grab my ass, touch me, etc. He always did it in a joking manner the group of us always laughed. But I was very attracted to the guy and when we made eye contact, I always felt like there was more there than just messing around to be funny, I felt like he was into me, but never did anything, because well he was straight and although I am straight acting, I am gay, and he had a girlfriend, and other "very gay" guys he never even paid them any attention. It got to the point that after several weeks and several parties, I was looking forward to the attention from him and always wanting him to give me more and take it to the next level...... I was falling for him!!!

So I talked to a friend, "girl" that also attended the parties and explained to her that this guy was really making me hot for him every time he touched me or talked to me or started "messing around" with me. She said that he was prob. interested/curious but just didn't know how else to say it or show it, and when he gets buzzed, he feels more comfortable. That I should get him alone and see if he would still be the same way, that way I would know if he was just trying to be funny in front of others or interested in me. So I got my chance a couple weeks after. We were at a friends house party and were running low on beer. We needed more from the garage to be brought in the house. So I said I would go out and get it and asked this guy "Jose" to help me.... The two of us went out to the garage alone. I went out he followed, we were chatting about what ever, I walked over to the fridge. opened the door and as I started to bend over to get the beer, I said "Just because my ass is up in the air in front of you does not mean I expect you to mount me" and kind of laughed. He took the bait and came up close behind me and placed his hands on my hips and broght his crotch up to my ass and strarted rubbing me and making the fucking motions...... Bingo, no one around to laugh, so I started to push my ass back and talk dirty to him telling him to give it to me and make me feel it, I want it so bad, all of which I was saying in that way that if things were only a joke by him, I could say the same "oh I was only joking too". But the more I talked dirty to him the more he seemed to get into it and his hands went from my hips to my ass, as he started grabbing and then up to my chest so I stood up and leaned back into him and grabbed his hands/arms and wrapped them around me and leaned my head back on his shoulder and he was rubbing up against me hard and holding me tight running his hands all over my upper body. But he never let them go further down past my waist, so I moved one of my hands back and grabbed his head and brought his lips to my neck and he started kissing my neck and my other hand grabbed his hand and brought it down to my hard cock and he touched massaged and grabbed at my hard cock through my pants, and after only a minute I turned around in his arms and went for it my hands on him, us kissing, my hands going up under his shirt to his chest he did the same, my hands on his hard cock, he did the same, me undoing his pants, he doing the same, pants open cocks out each of us strocking each other, I raised his shirt and kissing my way down his chest and across his stomach and blew him right there in the garage. As soon as he blew his load, I stood up and he kissed me again, and said he wanted to "do that to me" and down he went. After I blew my load he stood up and again holding me kissing me and telling me that was great and he wanted to do it again. I told him to get dressed before we got caught by someone and we could "make a run" to the store to get some more beer together. So we took off a few mintues later and he ended up fucking me in my car that same night.

So I guess my point is get him alone and see if the "game" is still the same.
Good luck and hope this helps give you an idea or two....

 

[larry240]

Welcome back Tampa.

 

[Troika]

I won't tell you what you should do, but will share with you what happend with me and maybe that will help. Same type of story, I'm gay and going to parties with a bunch of straight people. Same type of guy, straight with girlfriend, but some guys hanging with the guys and the girls together off doing their thing. Well this straight guy Jose "with a girlfirend" use to do the same thing. He always talked to me, gave me attention, but when he got buzzed, things would go a little further. He use to touch me a lot, make sexual comments, grab my ass, touch me, etc. He always did it in a joking manner the group of us always laughed. But I was very attracted to the guy and when we made eye contact, I always felt like there was more there than just messing around to be funny, I felt like he was into me, but never did anything, because well he was straight and although I am straight acting, I am gay, and he had a girlfriend, and other "very gay" guys he never even paid them any attention. It got to the point that after several weeks and several parties, I was looking forward to the attention from him and always wanting him to give me more and take it to the next level...... I was falling for him!!!

So I talked to a friend, "girl" that also attended the parties and explained to her that this guy was really making me hot for him every time he touched me or talked to me or started "messing around" with me. She said that he was prob. interested/curious but just didn't know how else to say it or show it, and when he gets buzzed, he feels more comfortable. That I should get him alone and see if he would still be the same way, that way I would know if he was just trying to be funny in front of others or interested in me. So I got my chance a couple weeks after. We were at a friends house party and were running low on beer. We needed more from the garage to be brought in the house. So I said I would go out and get it and asked this guy "Jose" to help me.... The two of us went out to the garage alone. I went out he followed, we were chatting about what ever, I walked over to the fridge. opened the door and as I started to bend over to get the beer, I said "Just because my ass is up in the air in front of you does not mean I expect you to mount me" and kind of laughed. He took the bait and came up close behind me and placed his hands on my hips and broght his crotch up to my ass and strarted rubbing me and making the fucking motions...... Bingo, no one around to laugh, so I started to push my ass back and talk dirty to him telling him to give it to me and make me feel it, I want it so bad, all of which I was saying in that way that if things were only a joke by him, I could say the same "oh I was only joking too". But the more I talked dirty to him the more he seemed to get into it and his hands went from my hips to my ass, as he started grabbing and then up to my chest so I stood up and leaned back into him and grabbed his hands/arms and wrapped them around me and leaned my head back on his shoulder and he was rubbing up against me hard and holding me tight running his hands all over my upper body. But he never let them go further down past my waist, so I moved one of my hands back and grabbed his head and brought his lips to my neck and he started kissing my neck and my other hand grabbed his hand and brought it down to my hard cock and he touched massaged and grabbed at my hard cock through my pants, and after only a minute I turned around in his arms and went for it my hands on him, us kissing, my hands going up under his shirt to his chest he did the same, my hands on his hard cock, he did the same, me undoing his pants, he doing the same, pants open cocks out each of us strocking each other, I raised his shirt and kissing my way down his chest and across his stomach and blew him right there in the garage. As soon as he blew his load, I stood up and he kissed me again, and said he wanted to "do that to me" and down he went. After I blew my load he stood up and again holding me kissing me and telling me that was great and he wanted to do it again. I told him to get dressed before we got caught by someone and we could "make a run" to the store to get some more beer together. So we took off a few mintues later and he ended up fucking me in my car that same night.

So I guess my point is get him alone and see if the "game" is still the same.
Good luck and hope this helps give you an idea or two....

Ummm YUM! Tell another story.

 

[parisnoyd]

I'm with Troika! Jeff, tell another story!!

 

[parisnoyd]

Oh, and welcome back, Tampa!