Coming out to my parents

[Jaybifla]

I cried reading that! That’s amazing! So proud of you and happy.

 

[Jaybifla]

I had the courage to come out to my mom a couple of years ago. She was ok with it, but unfortunately with her advanced age, I think she’s forgotten. Lol.

 

[chac54]

Hey everyone! So I’ve finally done it! I will set the scene for you guys. I had arrived home from work at around 6pm and my brother had also come round to support me. We ate dinner and I thought to myself after we had finished, come on you can do this now. I tried to open my mouth but the words wouldn’t come. We watched eastenders, chatted about politics and wind rush and then caught up on some T20 Cricket. All the time I was clock watching thinking you can do this now. Again I tried but no words came. It got around 9.30 and I finally plucked up the courage to say ‘dad I need to tell you something’ I was getting nervous and my words were faltering, through a few tears I said… ‘I’m seeing someone’. He replied ‘aww that’s lovely’. I said ‘but it’s not a girl’. Then the floodgates opened! I was crying and working myself up when my dad said ‘Was that all you wanted to tell me?, you know all care about is that you are happy.’’ I want you and your daughter to be happy that’s what makes me happy’. He was amazing and so supportive, I feel so relieved and at the same time exhausted! Thank you everyone for your kind messages and support, you have made it a lot easier for me! Now I feel completely free and can start building my life with my daughter and new partner!

So happy for you!

 

[mikeyank]

I had the courage to come out to my mom a couple of years ago. She was ok with it, but unfortunately with her advanced age, I think she’s forgotten. Lol.

Maybe she forgot on purpose? My mom didn’t want to remember certain stuff.

 

[legend0007]

Hey everyone! So I’ve finally done it! I will set the scene for you guys. I had arrived home from work at around 6pm and my brother had also come round to support me. We ate dinner and I thought to myself after we had finished, come on you can do this now. I tried to open my mouth but the words wouldn’t come. We watched eastenders, chatted about politics and wind rush and then caught up on some T20 Cricket. All the time I was clock watching thinking you can do this now. Again I tried but no words came. It got around 9.30 and I finally plucked up the courage to say ‘dad I need to tell you something’ I was getting nervous and my words were faltering, through a few tears I said… ‘I’m seeing someone’. He replied ‘aww that’s lovely’. I said ‘but it’s not a girl’. Then the floodgates opened! I was crying and working myself up when my dad said ‘Was that all you wanted to tell me?, you know all care about is that you are happy.’’ I want you and your daughter to be happy that’s what makes me happy’. He was amazing and so supportive, I feel so relieved and at the same time exhausted! Thank you everyone for your kind messages and support, you have made it a lot easier for me! Now I feel completely free and can start building my life with my daughter and new partner!

You have so much, v happy for you. x

 

[Burgess23]

Thanks again for all the lovely messages! So the family bbq is tomorrow and I will keep you all updated with how that goes too! X

 

[Burgess23]

I had the courage to come out to my mom a couple of years ago. She was ok with it, but unfortunately with her advanced age, I think she’s forgotten. Lol.

 

[Burgess23]

I doubt she has forgotten! I’m sure she remembers somewhere!

 

[BrokeStraightBoys]

How was the BBQ?

 

[mikeyank]

How was the BBQ?

I was thinking the same question. Sure hope it went well and Burgess comes on to report back.

 

[Burgess23]

Thanks for checking in guys! The BBQ was nice! It was slightly awkward, my dad isn’t the most social of creatures but it was an unpleasant atmosphere! We had a great time and drunk a lot of alcohol!

 

[tampa24]

Thank you for sharing that momentous event of your life with us Burgess! I'm so happy for you that the outcome was so positive. To share a quote from the movie, "Love Simon"...

"You can finally exhale."

 

[BrokeStraightBoys]

I came out to my Mom and it was very hard. She had a hard time with it but I think the initial what about my grandkids and stuff like that come up.

I first came out to my best friend when I was around 23 I think. He made it super hard to come out to anyone else because he would make gay jokes that made me uncomfortable. Everyone else was no issue.

 

[trebligon]

Congratulations, OP!

I never got a chance to come out to my mom. I never knew my father so he was a non-issue. My mom was evangelical, so when I was a kid, it never came up really, but she did say she didn't "believe" in it.

A couple of weeks before she died, we had had an argument (she lived with me as her health was poor). After we calmed down, she told me how sad she was that I was so unhappy. She told me I should find someone to love me. A good woman or... a man. Someone. For whatever reason, the words didn't penetrate my mind as anything more than a joke, despite the fact it was not her sense of humor. After she was gone I realized what it was... her saying she knew and she was okay with it. To know that she loved me and accepted me despite everything is bittersweet, because I think about how much less hiding and lying I had to do.

 

[mikeyank]

Congratulations, OP!

I never got a chance to come out to my mom. I never knew my father so he was a non-issue. My mom was evangelical, so when I was a kid, it never came up really, but she did say she didn't "believe" in it.

A couple of weeks before she died, we had had an argument (she lived with me as her health was poor). After we calmed down, she told me how sad she was that I was so unhappy. She told me I should find someone to love me. A good woman or... a man. Someone. For whatever reason, the words didn't penetrate my mind as anything more than a joke, despite the fact it was not her sense of humor. After she was gone I realized what it was... her saying she knew and she was okay with it. To know that she loved me and accepted me despite everything is bittersweet, because I think about how much less hiding and lying I had to do.

Wow Trebligon. I have chills and a tear in my eye. I guess it’s true that mom’s always know. And except in extreme cases they always love us. Yes it is bittersweet but your mom did truly love you and wanted your happiness more than anything else. I’ve told it here before that my mother never talked to me about my sexuality but her gay hairdresser told my brother after she died that, “Of course she knew” about me. So you and I had a similar experience with our moms.

 

[legend0007]

This thread is so heartening, and also like a dagger. It's a strange juxtaposition for me. Burgess's success brought me so much pleasure, and the fact that he got useful advice here - I hope everyone who gave advice, or were responsible for the forum knows the positive effect they have contributed to.

My mum and dad don't approve, and i'll prolly tell the whole story at some stage, but they are batshit religeous and unable to see truth. The culmination was not good.

And in society in general its' so difficult to 'reveal' yourself. Like I'm a spy or something.

I have a beautiful fella who is even more vulnerable to it being known than me, and I worry about constantly wanting not to expose him to unnecessary scrutiny.

I've had a drink, but have reviewed this and feel it's heartfelt. I just wanted to say how much comfort the OPs story gave me.

 

[legend0007]

I came out to my Mom and it was very hard. She had a hard time with it but I think the initial what about my grandkids and stuff like that come up.

I first came out to my best friend when I was around 23 I think. He made it super hard to come out to anyone else because he would make gay jokes that made me uncomfortable. Everyone else was no issue.

I pride myself on being 'tough' but sometimes think it a facade; jokes shake me. I'm sorry those jokes made shit difficult for you. I know exactly what you mean with that.

 

[Burgess23]

This thread is so heartening, and also like a dagger. It's a strange juxtaposition for me. Burgess's success brought me so much pleasure, and the fact that he got useful advice here - I hope everyone who gave advice, or were responsible for the forum knows the positive effect they have contributed to.

My mum and dad don't approve, and i'll prolly tell the whole story at some stage, but they are batshit religeous and unable to see truth. The culmination was not good.

And in society in general its' so difficult to 'reveal' yourself. Like I'm a spy or something.

I have a beautiful fella who is even more vulnerable to it being known than me, and I worry about constantly wanting not to expose him to unnecessary scrutiny.

I've had a drink, but have reviewed this and feel it's heartfelt. I just wanted to say how much comfort the OPs story gave me.

I loved reading your response @legend0007, I’m sorry your parents have found it difficult to accept. It is tough, I know. My dad is okay with it he is happy for me I believe but doesn’t talk much about it. My mum on the other hand is much more supportive than I thought. She loves my new partner and is happy I’m happy! In time I hope your parents learn to accept you. I’m glad you have a good fella though! That’s always a positive! X

 

[br6205]

As a parent that loves his sons, a good parent will never disown a child for coming out to them. It might take a while to get use to but they will come to accept. Now in my case I married my wide so that made coming out a bit out of the question, don't you think

 

[mikeyank]

This thread is so heartening, and also like a dagger. It's a strange juxtaposition for me. Burgess's success brought me so much pleasure, and the fact that he got useful advice here - I hope everyone who gave advice, or were responsible for the forum knows the positive effect they have contributed to.

My mum and dad don't approve, and i'll prolly tell the whole story at some stage, but they are batshit religeous and unable to see truth. The culmination was not good.

And in society in general its' so difficult to 'reveal' yourself. Like I'm a spy or something.

I have a beautiful fella who is even more vulnerable to it being known than me, and I worry about constantly wanting not to expose him to unnecessary scrutiny.

I've had a drink, but have reviewed this and feel it's heartfelt. I just wanted to say how much comfort the OPs story gave me.

I feel for you Max. I watch a lot of YouTube and have seen many guys tell their Coming Out stories and most are successful as Burgess was for as I’ve said, our mom’s usually know us the best and in the end our happiness brings them happiness. However I also have seen some stories from ultra religious families and those parents can be totally pig headed about anything that is not exactly to the word written in the Bible of a man and a woman uniting to procreate. Hopefully with time, your parents will come to some understanding however you have to be true to yourself and you are fortunate to have a good man by your side. I sure hope that someday your parents can love you for who you are and not who they want you to be. Much love to you Max.