My journey, A blog of sorts, and advice welcomed

[mikeyank]

Send him my way lol

I was thinking the same thing Max. I too am very turned on by guys who want it to be all about their dicks. But of course most guys like Chac are looking for a more reciprocal type relationship. But you said exactly what I was thinking, Max.

 

[legend0007]

I was thinking the same thing Max. I too am very turned on by guys who want it to be all about their dicks. But of course most guys like Chac are looking for a more reciprocal type relationship. But you said exactly what I was thinking, Max.

I think I'll want that when I'm older. For now I don't want equality (I'm talking sexually/romantically by the way), I want somebody to put me in my place and to enjoy that.

 

[chac54]

I was thinking the same thing Max. I too am very turned on by guys who want it to be all about their dicks. But of course most guys like Chac are looking for a more reciprocal type relationship. But you said exactly what I was thinking, Max.

I think I'll want that when I'm older. For now I don't want equality (I'm talking sexually/romantically by the way), I want somebody to put me in my place and to enjoy that.

LOL you guys , thanks for the chuckle. Trust me, his body was a 10, and the dick, OMG, I really did want to hop on it.


All said and done, I'm almost ready to just delete the apps. Growlr is dead here, only like 10 people on it that are nearby. And Grindr, well we all know about that. I'm thinking maybe I should create a Tinder or something.

 

[mikeyank]

LOL you guys , thanks for the chuckle. Trust me, his body was a 10, and the dick, OMG, I really did want to hop on it.


All said and done, I'm almost ready to just delete the apps. Growlr is dead here, only like 10 people on it that are nearby. And Grindr, well we all know about that. I'm thinking maybe I should create a Tinder or something.rough

Perhaps the sex apps are not what you’re looking for Chac. Do they have any gay Meet-Up groups in your area? The walking groups I belong to here are through Meet-Up and sometimes the old ladies try to hit on me. lol I did make friends with one gay guy in his fifties and we went to the Metropolitan Museum together, but our personalities did not mesh to maintain a friendship.

However there are a couple of Meet-Up groups in the New York City metropolitan area for gay men in their 30’s and 40’s which specialize in going to events like plays, movies, Art galleries, etc. I am older than the demos but these seem like great non pressure situations to meet other men for friendship and whatever else might develop more organically. If not in your direct area, perhaps in larger cities in your area? Just a thought.

 

[chac54]

Perhaps the sex apps are not what you’re looking for Chac. Do they have any gay Meet-Up groups in your area? The walking groups I belong to here are through Meet-Up and sometimes the old ladies try to hit on me. lol I did make friends with one gay guy in his fifties and we went to the Metropolitan Museum together, but our personalities did not mesh to maintain a friendship.

However there are a couple of Meet-Up groups in the New York City metropolitan area for gay men in their 30’s and 40’s which specialize in going to events like plays, movies, Art galleries, etc. I am older than the demos but these seem like great non pressure situations to meet other men for friendship and whatever else might develop more organically. If not in your direct area, perhaps in larger cities in your area? Just a thought.

Definitely gonna check it out. I can see why people get pissed off. In my profile on Growlr I state pretty clear what I am looking for, and I just get guys 5000 miles away

Yeah, I'll definitely check out meetup, I've never looked to see what they have in the area, but with ptown being like 40 minutes from me, I'd be surprised if there isn't something.

 

[chac54]

Well this was a first for me... Got a nice guy on the hook, he admitted he was inexperienced with guys (starting to get excited due to us being similar in that department LOL), he wanted to try both topping and bottoming, wanted to use condoms, and was up for exploring each other's bodies (ok, definitely gonna give my address...), as he has a blank profile so I asked for some pics... And he sent me a beautiful cut mushroom cock meant for sucking, pubes were very short almost shaved (ok I can live with that, you do you boo), and then I saw it pressing down on his fupa.... the wedding ring.

Damn. I'm not fussy, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna hookup knowingly with a married guy and get ensnared in that drama. I called him out asking if he was married or if it was just a ring he wore for decoration and he sent back the hush emoji. () and he admitted to being married, {sighs} instant block. Damn. Damn damn.

I checked meetup and nothing of note yet other than a pride bowling league (might check that out). I can't wait for Provincetown to start hosting Carnival and bear week (my tribe I guess LOL), I'm definitely gonna go do something this year.

So another Saturday night with me, my right hand and a scene with Chris (yay! He's back ) and Calvin. I can't wait to watch this scene!

 

[mikeyank]

Well this was a first for me... Got a nice guy on the hook, he admitted he was inexperienced with guys (starting to get excited due to us being similar in that department LOL), he wanted to try both topping and bottoming, wanted to use condoms, and was up for exploring each other's bodies (ok, definitely gonna give my address...), as he has a blank profile so I asked for some pics... And he sent me a beautiful cut mushroom cock meant for sucking, pubes were very short almost shaved (ok I can live with that, you do you boo), and then I saw it pressing down on his fupa.... the wedding ring.

Damn. I'm not fussy, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna hookup knowingly with a married guy and get ensnared in that drama. I called him out asking if he was married or if it was just a ring he wore for decoration and he sent back the hush emoji. () and he admitted to being married, {sighs} instant block. Damn. Damn damn.

I checked meetup and nothing of note yet other than a pride bowling league (might check that out). I can't wait for Provincetown to start hosting Carnival and bear week (my tribe I guess LOL), I'm definitely gonna go do something this year.

So another Saturday night with me, my right hand and a scene with Chris (yay! He's back ) and Calvin. I can't wait to watch this scene!

Reminds me of a song Chac. The nearer your destination, the more you’re slip sliding away. But stick with it. And yes, go to P-Town this summer. If Bear Weekend is your thing, Do it Buddy. I’m rooting for you.

 

[trebligon]

You're a good man, Chac.

 

[legend0007]

Well this was a first for me... Got a nice guy on the hook, he admitted he was inexperienced with guys (starting to get excited due to us being similar in that department LOL), he wanted to try both topping and bottoming, wanted to use condoms, and was up for exploring each other's bodies (ok, definitely gonna give my address...), as he has a blank profile so I asked for some pics... And he sent me a beautiful cut mushroom cock meant for sucking, pubes were very short almost shaved (ok I can live with that, you do you boo), and then I saw it pressing down on his fupa.... the wedding ring.

Damn. I'm not fussy, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna hookup knowingly with a married guy and get ensnared in that drama. I called him out asking if he was married or if it was just a ring he wore for decoration and he sent back the hush emoji. () and he admitted to being married, {sighs} instant block. Damn. Damn damn.

I checked meetup and nothing of note yet other than a pride bowling league (might check that out). I can't wait for Provincetown to start hosting Carnival and bear week (my tribe I guess LOL), I'm definitely gonna go do something this year.

So another Saturday night with me, my right hand and a scene with Chris (yay! He's back ) and Calvin. I can't wait to watch this scene!

I'd have still let him do me

In all seriousness it depends what u want right? I think there are a lot of married guys who aren't straight hanging around on dating apps - i think there are some on the forum too.

If you're after a relationship it's not for you, and that goes for guys who aren't out. I fell out with my last, who is absolutely the perfect man in almost every way, basically because he's not out. Which I totes understand, but it just leaves you feeling like you aren't valued.

But if you just want to fuck, married boys are top. I've been with some, one of who was so sweet I've spoken about him on here before.

Sorry Treb - I'm not as wholesome as chalc don't think too bad of me

 

[mikeyank]

Back in the day, when I was a frequent user of Craigslist, I met several married men to give blowjobs to. But neither of us was looking for more than a quick bj and I didn’t regret it as my thing has always been straight guys. One of my more exciting was a young dad whose wife was a nurse working a night shift. He invited me into his home where I gave him head in the living room with the TV flickering with the sound off, with the baby in the next room. The baby reinforced in my brain that he was truly straight, (or at least bisexual).

There were other guys who lived with their girlfriends and two of the hottest were young guys in their early twenties who invited me to give them blowjobs in their apartments. My gay boyfriends over the years never excited me the way the straight guys did. That’s got a lot to do with my single status. Again it is not my recommendation to Chac or anyone else, just the way my life worked out.

 

[trebligon]

I wouldn't use the word "wholesome".

Perhaps I was being simplistic in calling Chac a good man. Whether someone's good or not is a complex thing, if even possible to assess. Sometimes "good" people do bad things, and sometimes "bad" people do good things. At least here, I can say Chac did the honorable thing.

I remember when I saw Brokeback Mountain back in the day. Such a sad story. I of course felt the pain of the two protagonists, but I also felt terrible for Michelle Williams's and Anne Hathaway's characters. They were not just victims of a society that made their husbands feel compelled to use them in such a way, but were victims of betrayal from their husbands. Men who were supposed to be honest to them. Does it make it less of a betrayal because it was gay men who did the betraying? I can't say so.

I think I've mentioned before how an older British man tricked me when I was a young man, and I fell in love with a boy who didn't exist, and the truth sent me down a spiral that I survived only because a person I trusted came to my rescue. Perhaps that, and just being sick of lying my whole life about who I am, makes me consider the idea of contributing to that, to creating a victim of deceit from someone they love, is something I can't see myself willingly doing.

I don't condemn anyone. At worst I reassess what my opinion is of someone and understand these "bad" behaviors are part of the vastly complex nature of human beings, and are not the sum total of anyone. I'm not trying to sound condescending or holier than thou, but I'm probably failing. Sorry.

 

[chac54]

Yeah, I just don't want some crazy lady after me keying my car or slashing the tires for fucking their husband . I'm a no drama kind of guy LOL. It's none of my business what their relationship status is, he could have lied and said it was just a ring . If he had said she knew about it, yeah I'd would have been all over that cock, I know monogamy isn't for everyone. I'm just surprised that he didn't lie to get some "D"

 

[trebligon]

Right. One of my best friends is bisexual and lives with her boyfriend but "loves the puss" and so has sex with other women, but her boyfriend knows, so there's no issue.

 

[legend0007]

Back in the day, when I was a frequent user of Craigslist, I met several married men to give blowjobs to. But neither of us was looking for more than a quick bj and I didn’t regret it as my thing has always been straight guys. One of my more exciting was a young dad whose wife was a nurse working a night shift. He invited me into his home where I gave him head in the living room with the TV flickering with the sound off, with the baby in the next room. The baby reinforced in my brain that he was truly straight, (or at least bisexual).

There were other guys who lived with their girlfriends and two of the hottest were young guys in their early twenties who invited me to give them blowjobs in their apartments. My gay boyfriends over the years never excited me the way the straight guys did. That’s got a lot to do with my single status. Again it is not my recommendation to Chac or anyone else, just the way my life worked out.

I've told you about my housemate already in previous posts - he had a girlfriend but went from 6th-form (college) to different universities, in different cities. I've had some mint boyfriends but I think i was in a way my happiest being used to satisfy him with my mouth every night at least. There was no insecurity or worrying- i knew he didn't like me in that way.

Even though he wouldn't touch my D I think that wasvery satisfying, in a way more so than actual bfs who proclaimed to love me

 

[legend0007]

I wouldn't use the word "wholesome".

Perhaps I was being simplistic in calling Chac a good man. Whether someone's good or not is a complex thing, if even possible to assess. Sometimes "good" people do bad things, and sometimes "bad" people do good things. At least here, I can say Chac did the honorable thing.

I remember when I saw Brokeback Mountain back in the day. Such a sad story. I of course felt the pain of the two protagonists, but I also felt terrible for Michelle Williams's and Anne Hathaway's characters. They were not just victims of a society that made their husbands feel compelled to use them in such a way, but were victims of betrayal from their husbands. Men who were supposed to be honest to them. Does it make it less of a betrayal because it was gay men who did the betraying? I can't say so.

I think I've mentioned before how an older British man tricked me when I was a young man, and I fell in love with a boy who didn't exist, and the truth sent me down a spiral that I survived only because a person I trusted came to my rescue. Perhaps that, and just being sick of lying my whole life about who I am, makes me consider the idea of contributing to that, to creating a victim of deceit from someone they love, is something I can't see myself willingly doing.

I don't condemn anyone. At worst I reassess what my opinion is of someone and understand these "bad" behaviors are part of the vastly complex nature of human beings, and are not the sum total of anyone. I'm not trying to sound condescending or holier than thou, but I'm probably failing. Sorry.

I don't think you come across condescending, actually what you say resonates with me. I'm constantly asking myself whether i'm good or bad on several levels. It's been drilled into me since i was a kid that what I have later discovered myself to be, is evil. I know that's bullshit but it sticks. Then I have the genuine moral discrepancies that I display - consistently - which go against my day to day nature. I know i'm a good person but I do bad shit. Really really bad shit at times. So what you say is partly comforting because it makes me realise that it's not that simple and i'm not that unusual in having a bad side.

 

[trebligon]

I don't think you come across condescending, actually what you say resonates with me. I'm constantly asking myself whether i'm good or bad on several levels. It's been drilled into me since i was a kid that what I have later discovered myself to be, is evil. I know that's bullshit but it sticks. Then I have the genuine moral discrepancies that I display - consistently - which go against my day to day nature. I know i'm a good person but I do bad shit. Really really bad shit at times. So what you say is partly comforting because it makes me realise that it's not that simple and i'm not that unusual in having a bad side.

That makes me incredibly happy to hear.

 

[chac54]

So I'm currently chatting with a very sexy bear in his 30s, we exchanged pics and while we are in the chatting phase, he is definitely more my speed, maybe have a cuddle session first (his idea). I asked what he wanted and he said he is mainly just chatting but said he was open to FWB. So I'm excited to see what happens and if it progresses at all. I'm definitely down to even make friends along the way, even if it just platonic.

 

[mikeyank]

So I'm currently chatting with a very sexy bear in his 30s, we exchanged pics and while we are in the chatting phase, he is definitely more my speed, maybe have a cuddle session first (his idea). I asked what he wanted and he said he is mainly just chatting but said he was open to FWB. So I'm excited to see what happens and if it progresses at all. I'm definitely down to even make friends along the way, even if it just platonic.

He sounds perfect! Good luck Chac and please let us know how things progress!!!

 

[chac54]

I need some advice from my fellow peeps.... I was chatting with this guy and we were making plans to meet up (considering he was a top I'd be bottoming), I asked him if he used condoms and he said occasionally. I then asked if he was on PrEP and he said no and he tested some time ago negative. I know topping is a lower risk of catching HIV, but I didn't feel comfortable with that. Am I just being a bit rude/prudish in asking that? While I am on PrEP myself, and am testing every 3 months, he wasn't.

For those that are in the hookup scene, how do you all handle asking the questions for STI testing and if they are on PrEP? Or do you just go with the flow and just pray and test frequently. I just feel lost sometimes

 

[Jaybifla]

I need some advice from my fellow peeps.... I was chatting with this guy and we were making plans to meet up (considering he was a top I'd be bottoming), I asked him if he used condoms and he said occasionally. I then asked if he was on PrEP and he said no and he tested some time ago negative. I know topping is a lower risk of catching HIV, but I didn't feel comfortable with that. Am I just being a bit rude/prudish in asking that? While I am on PrEP myself, and am testing every 3 months, he wasn't.

For those that are in the hookup scene, how do you all handle asking the questions for STI testing and if they are on PrEP? Or do you just go with the flow and just pray and test frequently. I just feel lost sometimes

No you’re not being rude/prudish. You have every right to feel the way you do and I wouldn’t do anything I wasn’t comfortable doing. I would ask more questions. Maybe PrEP isn’t an option for him if he already has liver or kidney issues. But if it’s just laziness and he’s into hooking up regularly then I would say that’s a red flag. Just my opinion.