Praise and Criticism of Models: and The Effect it Has on Them

[Rob_Ryder]

Rob, Thanks for shring your thoughts. I have managed large teams of professionals for some years now and I too get better results concentrating on the good things people do. By the way, I liked the scene you were kind enough to share with us on Broke Straight Boys

Thank you for that comment Cum2me! And you are very welcome for the scene, I'm glad you enjoyed it

 

[tampa24]

Awww thanks Dracythis! I have come to accept the haters, but I think people who are new to the biz *cough**cough*Jimmy*cough** aren't prepared for the hate comments and instead of brushing them off their shoulders, they get defensive and take them the wrong way LOL

I think Jimmy has done an admirable job of keeping his cool through some of the tougher reviews of his work. Including of course the outright "haters". In front of members at least he has handled himself admirably. Inasmuch as he has had his feelings hurt I hope that you and Cole are able to give him some support. His star is rising here at the site. He has good reason to be hopeful now that the negative comments will grow fewer and farther in between.

 

[Rob_Ryder]

Rob everybody has an opinion about almost everything... like you yourself will have movies and actors you like or dislike. The stars that hate reviews, don't bother to read the paper. This forum is all about how a group of very different thinking people perceive you in a porn movie; and about their own fetishes.

Jimmy took all the criticism on the chin; very admirable and not easy. But if you can't stand the heat Rob, better stay out of this kitchen.

It's a great suggestion Mark, why not appear in a video together with Clay. We only had Jimmy and Rob to discuss so far; ergo they got all the attention. Why let these two boys take all the heat?

Haha, I agree with you. . . But I think you may have misunderstood the point I was making. I am in no way referring to the members here saying anything hateful or mean about me. I was using my own experience to reflect on someone of the comments and criticism I have seen dished out by some of the members here towards the Broke Straight Boys models.

And more over, this wasn't about me trying to tell anyone how to live their life or what to do/not do. No no, All I was trying to accomplish is to make people think and reflect on what they do/say.

And again, I'm not saying criticism is bad, when it is constructive. For example, if people criticize Johnny Depp for terrible acting or anything else regarding his performance. Then that's one thing. BUT if people are out there criticizing his oddly shaped face or skinny body or his crazy eyes, then that's where it turns away from being constructive LOL. . . And again, I'm not saying it is good or bad, right or wrong, I merely wanted people to reflect on the idea. Use the topic as discussion.

Like I had said a little bit before, people shouldn't be talking something that they wouldn't say to someones face. . .

 

[Rob_Ryder]

As a final response to everyone on here, thank you all for the comments and insight. . . It was great to hear your thoughts on the matter.

For the people that may have misinterpreted what I was getting at, I'll try to make it more clear:

1) I am not saying that anyone here on Broke Straight Boys has made any negative remarks about me. Even the one that said I looked like a 14yr old, that wasn't what I was referring to in my post. I wasn't even so much talking about the Broke Straight Boys models and the way you treat them on the forums. The main objective of this thread was to get your minds thinking about how what we say does affect other people. And if you don't want people saying certain things about you, then you probably shouldn't say it about them LOL. It's nice to be a tough guy behind a computer screen, but that doesn't mean you have to destroy someone's self esteem in an attempt to make yourself feel better.

2) This really wasn't directed at anyone, I just always had this thought in my mind over the years and since you guys have been so great, I figured it would make for a nice discussion.

3) I'm not here saying what is right/wrong or good/bad, I just think it is important that we reflect on our actions. Not only for the porn industry, but for life in general. I think people's negative comments on porn blogs is very relevant to daily life and interaction with people in general. Why say something about someone that you wouldn't say to their face?

In closing, thank you again everyone for all the love and support here on the forums!

Rob

 

[rrhill]

So Rob, do I understand correctly you started this topic because you thought Jimmy had a problem with this forum?

Read back Jimmy's posts...

"Well this is jimmy, if you wanted to take the time to explain the dislikes of me ill understand better and get back to you."
and... "Thanks tampa i can handle the criticism as long as it makes since. Your points usually make since."

He had a great time on the forum too, if you believe the majority of his many posts.

Most members treat models with great respect. Even protest if it appears a model gets denigrated for example with cash.

 

[Rob_Ryder]

So Rob, do I understand correctly you started this topic because you thought Jimmy had a problem with this forum?

Read back Jimmy's posts...

"Well this is jimmy, if you wanted to take the time to explain the dislikes of me ill understand better and get back to you."

and... "Thanks tampa i can handle the criticism as long as it makes since. Your points usually make since."

Jimmy has no problem with this forum. He had a great time on the forum too, if you believe his posts.

The majority of members treat models with great respect. Protest if it appears a model gets denigrated for example with cash.

Lol no no, like I said in my last post on here, this wasn't directed towards anyone in particular. It was merely a topic of discussion that is relevant to the site

 

[rrhill]

My last post at 07:07 AM crossed your post Rob, from 07:06 AM.

 

[jayshaw]

I agree with Elyoti and Stripe222 . Personally, I don't feel sorry for anyone who gets harsh criticism when they put themselves out to perform in front of an audience. It goes with the job. To quote " if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen". Develope a thick skin. I certainly don't think anyone should be criticized for anything that they can't correct. If a model doesn't perform or conduct themselves in a professional manner, I think it is legit to criticize them. Movie,Tv and Porn actors need to quite feeling sorry for themselves and realize that not every person thinks they are the hotest thing to come down the street.

 

[glenn323]

I enjoyed reading your comments, Rob.

I'm an aspiring screenwriter in Hollywood, and believe me I understand the sting of negative criticism as well as the joy of praise. I have also learned that you have to deal with a lot of anonymous idiots.

For instance, last night, I got a critique from an anonymous person who read and reviewed one of my screenplays for a contest I'm in. The person wrote 'The character of Stella is in many scenes but she never says anything. I found this confusing.'
Had the person actually read the script, he/she would have known that Stella is a DOG.
It may sound funny, but this person's comments probably caused my script not to advance to the next level of judging in the competition.

So, basically, whether you're going to be in show business in Hollywood or a porn actor on the internet, you have to accept the fact that you'll be surrounded by both decent people and idiots. You have to learn how to deal with both of them without going crazy. Take the good and the bad feedback with a grain of salt. Never let it destroy your dreams or your heart or your confidence. Always do your best to keep your head up and try to stay positive. Everything else in life is out of our control.

 

[Denny Bear]

Hey Everyone,

So after being on the forums for a few weeks and having been in porn for years, I have seen my fair share of criticism and praise for models. I wanted to get everyone's thoughts and opinions about what effect these have on the models.

How does everyone else feel about this?

Hey Rob I can understand your frustration as I know I would feel the same were I in your shoes. I believe part of the problem lies in the animosity and distance this medium provides. We are so far away and unconnected from the human form in this case it becomes easy to bash and criticize and we say things that we would never say to a persons face. The models almost turn into non human robots or androids simply performing for our pleasure. I think you will notice that as soon as Jimmy appeared in that behind the scene video and exposed his human self the bashing stopped or at least slowed down almost immediately. The same thing happened when you showed up on this forum. You have such an open and loving personality that it showed the human side to the site in general and comments criticizing Broke Straight Boys have also slowed down. If Clay is getting tired of reading harsh comments all he would have to do it drop the veil of secrecy and stop by the forum and let us see his human side. Just my thoughts but I think it makes sense. At any rate I thank you for allowing us to know your human side, it has made a major difference in how I feel about the site.

 

[jayshaw]

I respectfully disagree with Glenn323. He seems to be saying, that if you criticize someone, you are not a decent person, but an idiot. I hope I read his post incorrectly. I think everyone has the right to criticize other people or things as long as it is done in a respectful way. I don't think this makes the person an idiot.

 

[glenn323]

@jayshaw. Boy, you got everything I said backwards.

 

[juanjo]

"Even if you are not a performer criticism can effect you. For instance Jimmy's initial diatribes about gays. Those hurt, probably just as much as negative criticism of Jimmy hurt him."

I agree with mikeyank on this. I have never heard Jimmy say anything that even remotely was anti-gay. He was clear that he is not gay and is here for the money and I have no issue with that at all. And truthfully he seems to be a pretty decent guy all around.

 

[jayshaw]

Glenn323 -- I am sorry if i read your post incorrectly. I don't mean any disrespect. However, I re-read your post and I still have trouble with it. In the first paragraph,you talk of the "sting of negative criticism" and " learning to deal with a lot of anonymous idiots". In the last paragraph, you say "surrounded by both decent people and idiots". Maybe it is just me, and I am not picking up on what you are saying, but I still standby what i said in my earlier post. We can agree to disagree. No disrespect to you intended.

 

[david367]

Mkeyank,
I agree with you about Jimmy. I too have not heard him say any negative comments against a gay person. He is str8 and I respect him. I think he is open and trying his best; it is just this is not one of his top 10 things to do..

 

[Rob_Ryder]

I agree with Elyoti and Stripe222 . Personally, I don't feel sorry for anyone who gets harsh criticism when they put themselves out to perform in front of an audience. It goes with the job. To quote " if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen". Develope a thick skin. I certainly don't think anyone should be criticized for anything that they can't correct. If a model doesn't perform or conduct themselves in a professional manner, I think it is legit to criticize them. Movie,Tv and Porn actors need to quite feeling sorry for themselves and realize that not every person thinks they are the hotest thing to come down the street.

Jayshaw I appreciate your perspective on the topic, but I think that you have misunderstood the point I was trying to get at, like a few others have.

While I am curious as to how everyone thinks criticism affects the models, the main point to bring home was that the people dishing out the criticism shouldn't dish out anything that they couldn't say to the model/actor/performer's face.

This whole topic was brought about because of the number of people I see saying things that they would not have the guts to tell the person to their face.

So if you wouldn't tell the performer your "criticism" to their face, then why tell it behind a computer screen?

 

[Rob_Ryder]

Glenn323 -- I am sorry if i read your post incorrectly. I don't mean any disrespect. However, I re-read your post and I still have trouble with it. In the first paragraph,you talk of the "sting of negative criticism" and " learning to deal with a lot of anonymous idiots". In the last paragraph, you say "surrounded by both decent people and idiots". Maybe it is just me, and I am not picking up on what you are saying, but I still standby what i said in my earlier post. We can agree to disagree. No disrespect to you intended.

I don't think Glen323 was calling all those who criticize, idiots. He was merely saying that the majority of people who do criticize, do so in an nonconstructive way that either, has nothing to do with the performance of the performer, or their criticism is based on false reasoning or logic because they didn't take a full look at the work/performance. So the people who criticize in this way are in fact idiots, and the rest who give constructive criticism are "decent people".

 

[chase3398]

Rob, Thank you for posting this thread. It is so nice to see the words respect and constructive criticism. There have been times when the forum simply gets out of control and some pretty nasty things are written about models and members. A little civility goes a long way. Granted, when you are in the public eye you are putting it all out there for people to form opinions and express their feelings. One of the unfortunate aspects of the internet is that people can do, say or write things without having to identify themselves. Cyber bullying has become a significant problem. With you, in a very open and honest way, reminding everyone that cruel and unnecessary comments hurt, it puts a very human touch to all of this. Thank you for raising this issue and hopefully it will lead to more thoughtful comments posted here and elsewhere.

 

[glenn323]

Yes, Rob. That's EXACTLY what I was saying in my post. Bravo for your insight.

 

[Rob_Ryder]

Rob, Thank you for posting this thread. It is so nice to see the words respect and constructive criticism. There have been times when the forum simply gets out of control and some pretty nasty things are written about models and members. A little civility goes a long way. Granted, when you are in the public eye you are putting it all out there for people to form opinions and express their feelings. One of the unfortunate aspects of the internet is that people can do, say or write things without having to identify themselves. Cyber bullying has become a significant problem. With you, in a very open and honest way, reminding everyone that cruel and unnecessary comments hurt, it puts a very human touch to all of this. Thank you for raising this issue and hopefully it will lead to more thoughtful comments posted here and elsewhere.

Thank you for that awesome response Chase! I'm glad that you were able to grasp what I was trying to get across in this thread. If I can open the eyes of even one person, then I will have done my part