Praise and Criticism of Models: and The Effect it Has on Them

[Rob_Ryder]

Hey Everyone,

So after being on the forums for a few weeks and having been in porn for years, I have seen my fair share of criticism and praise for models. I wanted to get everyone's thoughts and opinions about what effect these have on the models.

Here's my thoughts compiled from years of being in the business:

Being in porn definitely leaves the models self-conscious. Seeing as how we know that each scene is going to be scene by thousands of people. This naturally leads myself to wonder whether or not the people watching really like me. For instance, I had always figured since I have been doing this for so long that people must like me otherwise I wouldn't be coming back.

BUT, that has changed from time to time whenever I run across a gay porn blog that has comments about my most recent scenes. There are some MEAN comments that have been made about me and other models on those blogs, and although I try not to let it get the best of me, it definitely is hard to shake off.

When I read comments about my head being gigantic, or how much of a twink I look like, or any other hateful comments, it makes me become unnecessarily self-conscious about myself. Before I read the comments, I feel fine and good about myself, but afterwards, it just leads me to second guess everything.

My point that I'm trying to get at is, whenever a model reads negative comments about themselves, it does nothing but make them feel horrible. While I agree that criticism is a part of life, I think that there is a time and place for it. And although you may never have to see the model in person, it has the same effect as if you had said these things to their face.

How would you feel if people constantly told you how bad you look or how bad at sex you are? Not very good, right?

I have seen a lot more positive results come from praise and compliments than I have seen from criticism and hate.

For instance, I have read a lot of mean things about Jimmy on here and criticism about his performance or whatever. And I think that if you want him to improve, then the best way would be to give him compliments on his good qualities. Make him feel good about what he is doing instead of making him feel like garbage.

That goes for any other model. While you may just be speaking your honest opinion, it still has a big effect on that person who is be criticized.



How does everyone else feel about this?

 

[tampa24]

You make alot of valid points Rob. Thank you.

 

[dracythis]

Hey Everyone,

So after being on the forums for a few weeks and having been in porn for years, I have seen my fair share of criticism and praise for models. I wanted to get everyone's thoughts and opinions about what effect these have on the models.

Here's my thoughts compiled from years of being in the business:

Being in porn definitely leaves the models self-conscious. Seeing as how we know that each scene is going to be scene by thousands of people. This naturally leads myself to wonder whether or not the people watching really like me. For instance, I had always figured since I have been doing this for so long that people must like me otherwise I wouldn't be coming back.

BUT, that has changed from time to time whenever I run across a gay porn blog that has comments about my most recent scenes. There are some MEAN comments that have been made about me and other models on those blogs, and although I try not to let it get the best of me, it definitely is hard to shake off.

When I read comments about my head being gigantic, or how much of a twink I look like, or any other hateful comments, it makes me become unnecessarily self-conscious about myself. Before I read the comments, I feel fine and good about myself, but afterwards, it just leads me to second guess everything.

My point that I'm trying to get at is, whenever a model reads negative comments about themselves, it does nothing but make them feel horrible. While I agree that criticism is a part of life, I think that there is a time and place for it. And although you may never have to see the model in person, it has the same effect as if you had said these things to their face.

How would you feel if people constantly told you how bad you look or how bad at sex you are? Not very good, right?

I have seen a lot more positive results come from praise and compliments than I have seen from criticism and hate.

For instance, I have read a lot of mean things about Jimmy on here and criticism about his performance or whatever. And I think that if you want him to improve, then the best way would be to give him compliments on his good qualities. Make him feel good about what he is doing instead of making him feel like garbage.

That goes for any other model. While you may just be speaking your honest opinion, it still has a big effect on that person who is be criticized.



How does everyone else feel about this?

Your never going to please all the people, all the time. You are always going to have nay-sayers out there that you will never be able to please. There are going to be people that won't like your youthful look, or the way you do something, or your <insert body part here>. However Rob, those people are few and far between. From what I read the majority of members think you hottest thing since sliced bread, so don't sweet the nay-sayers. I know it can hurtful to your self-image, but remember "Different Strokes, for Different Folks!" and "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and Don't Pet the Sweaty Stuff!"

 

[juanjo]

There are a certain number of people out there who are never satisfied. They are present in every group. Of course they are generally clueless concerning this aspect of their personality even if someone points it out with very specific examples. The rest of us think differently. We may not care for a particular scene or a particular model's behavior but the critique is direct, to the point and not just a bombastic personal attack on the model.

Rob - your points are valid ones and I agree with most. You are not really my "type" when it comes to men but you are a handsome man and you do a bang up job in your work. You have nothing but my respect and admiration.

 

[BrokeStraightBoys]

I couldn't deal with it myself. I'm just not one to judge or be critical of other though. I'm sure it's tough reading those negative comments especially with other models. I feel bad for them.

 

[raysvq]

Hey Everyone,

So after being on the forums for a few weeks and having been in porn for years, I have seen my fair share of criticism and praise for models. I wanted to get everyone's thoughts and opinions about what effect these have on the models.

Here's my thoughts compiled from years of being in the business:

Being in porn definitely leaves the models self-conscious. Seeing as how we know that each scene is going to be scene by thousands of people. This naturally leads myself to wonder whether or not the people watching really like me. For instance, I had always figured since I have been doing this for so long that people must like me otherwise I wouldn't be coming back.

BUT, that has changed from time to time whenever I run across a gay porn blog that has comments about my most recent scenes. There are some MEAN comments that have been made about me and other models on those blogs, and although I try not to let it get the best of me, it definitely is hard to shake off.

When I read comments about my head being gigantic, or how much of a twink I look like, or any other hateful comments, it makes me become unnecessarily self-conscious about myself. Before I read the comments, I feel fine and good about myself, but afterwards, it just leads me to second guess everything.

My point that I'm trying to get at is, whenever a model reads negative comments about themselves, it does nothing but make them feel horrible. While I agree that criticism is a part of life, I think that there is a time and place for it. And although you may never have to see the model in person, it has the same effect as if you had said these things to their face.

How would you feel if people constantly told you how bad you look or how bad at sex you are? Not very good, right?

I have seen a lot more positive results come from praise and compliments than I have seen from criticism and hate.

For instance, I have read a lot of mean things about Jimmy on here and criticism about his performance or whatever. And I think that if you want him to improve, then the best way would be to give him compliments on his good qualities. Make him feel good about what he is doing instead of making him feel like garbage.

That goes for any other model. While you may just be speaking your honest opinion, it still has a big effect on that person who is be criticized.



How does everyone else feel about this?

Hi Rob,

You have certainly raised a very valid point (I wanted to say "observation" but I am not sure it is the right word).

Over the years I have seen a lot of porn - thank goodness for the invention of VHS tapes – hehe. Then along came these things they call computers which spawned something called the internet. Therefore I have seen a lot of models perform in that time.

I will be honest and say that some models I really like the look of and they do something for me, then there are other models that just don’t turn me on. It is the same in everyday life some guys I find attractive others I don’t.
Generally if I like a model physically I will comment as such, but if a model doesn’t do it for me then I will not say anything, or at least nothing nasty. I may comment that the model doesn’t turn me on & leave it at that.

Keeping this in context I have never met any models in person so I could never make comments of a personal nature. Yes there are some models that turn me on and I would love to meet them and just get to know them - I am sure there are some of those guys who would shatter my illusion of them being great guys and conversely there are models who don’t turn me on that would be the most magnificent guys to know if I was to meet them.

Whenever I have critiqued a model it is not because of his physical features eg “big head”, etc but because of his performance. Whenever I do comment on a performance of a particular model it is in the spirit of feedback and trying to help him in the future, but I try to do it in such a way that is positive. The last thing I would want is for the model to feel horrible.

Not being a performer myself I am not going to say I know what you, or other models, have gone through in so far as praise and/or criticism goes, but what I will say is I appreciate what you are saying and where you are coming from.

Ray

 

[Stripe222]

Critic's responsibilities

Criticisms should only be posted about things the model can change. Constructive criticism, given and accepted in the right spirit can be very helpful. If the model is not you type, concentrate on one who is. If you fine a particular model giving a boring, unengaged performance, let him and management know. Just keep the criticisms productive and leave out the personal attacks on things they can't change, i.e., dick size, body type, etc.

 

[david367]

Rob,
I agree with you on what you have stated and I can only imagine how the negative responses affect any of you. I have learned in life that I will listen to anyone who is giving me negative or positive comments. But I have also learned to be able to say to my self, while I hear what you are saying, I can't agree with you on this/that matter. To permit another person to affect us in a negative way, especially with self esteem matters, is giving them "power" over our lives. I refuse to give someone that kind of "power" over my life and consider the source. If you feel you are doing your best/good job, then believe in yourself and don't give anyone the power to change your own opinion about who and what you are. Thanks for sharing your opinion with us.

 

[elyot1]

Criticism

Critics and criticism and critics come with the job of performers be they in blockbuster movies, TV shows or porn. That is criticism of the performance but not personal attacks. Directors, actors and performers need to develope a thick skin if they want to survive in their profession.

Even if you are not a performer criticism can effect you. For instance Jimmy's initial diatribes about gays. Those hurt, probably just as much as negative criticism of Jimmy hurt him.

I'm just saying.

 

[mikeyank]

Even if you are not a performer criticism can effect you. For instance Jimmy's initial diatribes about gays. Those hurt, probably just as much as negative criticism of Jimmy hurt him.

I'm just saying.

Elyot, you are not the first forumite who has accused Jimmy of having being "anti-gay", as you said with "initial diatribes about gays". I've watched all of Jimmy's scenes here and I honestly can't remember him ever having an anti-gay diatribe. In fact I just went back to re-watch his initial scene here, where he is the first model to introduce Broke Straight Boys-2.

At one point Clay asks him if he has ever done anything with a dude. His response was, "I'm here for a price, but it's not my thing". I also recall in other scenes where he has made faces, sighed and expressed his own personal distaste of the idea of gay sex for himself, but I can't recall him ever putting down gays.

After all, isn't the whole point of this site, going back to David's first scenes, to find young straight guys who say that they are not into gay sex, and then paying them to see how far they will go?

If Jimmy ever expressed any anti-gay feelings or attitudes, please refresh my memory. I just think of him as a good looking straight guy, who has performed here to the best of his ability, while maintaining that gay sex is not his preference. I don't think he should be considered in any way to be a homophobe. He obviously has no problems with gays, as he works with gays, and appears at functions meeting and greeting his gay audience, with a seemingly open and good attitude about it.

 

[cum2me01]

Rob, Thanks for shring your thoughts. I have managed large teams of professionals for some years now and I too get better results concentrating on the good things people do. By the way, I liked the scene you were kind enough to share with us on Broke Straight Boys

 

[jtdestin]

Hey Everyone,

So after being on the forums for a few weeks and having been in porn for years, I have seen my fair share of criticism and praise for models. I wanted to get everyone's thoughts and opinions about what effect these have on the models.

Here's my thoughts compiled from years of being in the business:

Being in porn definitely leaves the models self-conscious. Seeing as how we know that each scene is going to be scene by thousands of people. This naturally leads myself to wonder whether or not the people watching really like me. For instance, I had always figured since I have been doing this for so long that people must like me otherwise I wouldn't be coming back.

BUT, that has changed from time to time whenever I run across a gay porn blog that has comments about my most recent scenes. There are some MEAN comments that have been made about me and other models on those blogs, and although I try not to let it get the best of me, it definitely is hard to shake off.

When I read comments about my head being gigantic, or how much of a twink I look like, or any other hateful comments, it makes me become unnecessarily self-conscious about myself. Before I read the comments, I feel fine and good about myself, but afterwards, it just leads me to second guess everything.

My point that I'm trying to get at is, whenever a model reads negative comments about themselves, it does nothing but make them feel horrible. While I agree that criticism is a part of life, I think that there is a time and place for it. And although you may never have to see the model in person, it has the same effect as if you had said these things to their face.

How would you feel if people constantly told you how bad you look or how bad at sex you are? Not very good, right?

I have seen a lot more positive results come from praise and compliments than I have seen from criticism and hate.

For instance, I have read a lot of mean things about Jimmy on here and criticism about his performance or whatever. And I think that if you want him to improve, then the best way would be to give him compliments on his good qualities. Make him feel good about what he is doing instead of making him feel like garbage.

That goes for any other model. While you may just be speaking your honest opinion, it still has a big effect on that person who is be criticized.



How does everyone else feel about this?

Hey Rob
I wanted to reply when i saw your post this morning but had to head out the door.
What you say is so true. I try to If I do ever give criticism I try to give something positive with it.

so keep up the good work and i cant wait to see you on top soon!

 

[rrhill]

Rob everybody has an opinion about almost everything... like you yourself will have movies and actors you like or dislike. The stars that hate reviews, don't bother to read the paper. This forum is all about how a group of very different thinking people perceive you in a porn movie; and about their own fetishes.

Jimmy took all the criticism on the chin; very admirable and not easy. But if you can't stand the heat Rob, better stay out of this kitchen.

It's a great suggestion Mark, why not appear in a video together with Clay. We only had Jimmy and Rob to discuss so far; ergo they got all the attention. Why let these two boys take all the heat?

 

[erikthbod]

Rob... thanks so much for your thoughts. I agree with you 100%. ( by the way I enjoy watching you on College Dudes alot. ) I have two all time favorites on Broke Straight Boys my big fave will always be Austin Grant... the other is Sebastian (aka Damien Crosse) What can I say they have both gone on to be big porn stars. As for Jimmy I think he is the big star of Broke Straight Boys 2. He is very good looking and has one really excellent body. His bod is really beautiful.
I read "Wonder Bread and Ecstacy: the Life and Death of Joey Stefano" I ready it because I had always been a fan of Joey Stefano. For those who never read it, it tells the story of a young man that just wanted to be loved by someone. The bottom line is how the porn industry and his own addictions destroyed him.
I really do applaud you for standing up and making the comments you made. You are really a young man wise for his years and a true humanitarian for your fellow actors. Thank you Rob Ryder for being so brave!

 

[avery123]

Only worry about what YOU think. And do what you want. Most criticize to take the attention away from themselves and/or their just trying to make others feel bad. Much of any criticism is unwarranted. As the saying goes "take it with a grain of salt". In the adult business most of the criticism is due to the producers/directors fault. The models do what their hired to do, say what their told to say just like regular actors. Keep your chin up and have fun in your work as well as your private life. Take care and be safe.

 

[rrhill]

"When I read comments about my head being gigantic, or how much of a twink I look like, or any other hateful comments, it makes me become unnecessarily self-conscious about myself."

Self conscious is not a bad thing. A member made a remark, you reminded her of a 14 year old. That was not a harsh remark. About you it says: Rob looks boyish (you knew that) and it tells the member likes riper models.

Most of the reactions on this forum towards you were kind, friendly, and complimentary in nature. What reaction here did get you so upset to start this thread?

Here we started a thread: Rob Ryder on BSB - Who's in favor?

Jimmy got bashed, did not start a thread to complain, but asked for more... read: Jimmy No More PLEASE

(...)now that im trying my best to communicate with you and the rest of the members i need your opinions and critism.

 

[Rob_Ryder]

Your never going to please all the people, all the time. You are always going to have nay-sayers out there that you will never be able to please. There are going to be people that won't like your youthful look, or the way you do something, or your <insert body part here>. However Rob, those people are few and far between. From what I read the majority of members think you hottest thing since sliced bread, so don't sweet the nay-sayers. I know it can hurtful to your self-image, but remember "Different Strokes, for Different Folks!" and "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and Don't Pet the Sweaty Stuff!"

Awww thanks Dracythis! I have come to accept the haters, but I think people who are new to the biz *cough**cough*Jimmy*cough** aren't prepared for the hate comments and instead of brushing them off their shoulders, they get defensive and take them the wrong way LOL

 

[Rob_Ryder]

I couldn't deal with it myself. I'm just not one to judge or be critical of other though. I'm sure it's tough reading those negative comments especially with other models. I feel bad for them.

It definitely is :-(

Over the years, I've realized that a lot of the people leaving comments on blogs are the very few that don't like something so they feel the need to tell everyone about it. And the people that are satisfied are too busy enjoying it to leave comments LOL. . Goes with any business really I think.

The people on the forum here seem to have much more "constructive" criticism of the models as opposed to all out bashing. And that is criticism everyone can use!

 

[Rob_Ryder]

Criticisms should only be posted about things the model can change. Constructive criticism, given and accepted in the right spirit can be very helpful. If the model is not you type, concentrate on one who is. If you fine a particular model giving a boring, unengaged performance, let him and management know. Just keep the criticisms productive and leave out the personal attacks on things they can't change, i.e., dick size, body type, etc.

Couldn't have said it better myself!

 

[Rob_Ryder]

Critics and criticism and critics come with the job of performers be they in blockbuster movies, TV shows or porn. That is criticism of the performance but not personal attacks. Directors, actors and performers need to develope a thick skin if they want to survive in their profession.

Even if you are not a performer criticism can effect you. For instance Jimmy's initial diatribes about gays. Those hurt, probably just as much as negative criticism of Jimmy hurt him.

I'm just saying.

I'm with Mikeyank on this one Elyot. I haven't heard any negative things about gays, coming from Jimmy's mouth. Other than him trying to convince everyone that he's not gay or that it's "not his thing". Knowing Jimmy personally, I definitely know he doesn't feel negatively towards gay people. He just doesn't want people to think he is gay haha.

But, I understand about what you are saying with people developing thick skin, and believe me, I have developed such thick skin that I have a callus. My whole point of bringing up the topic is more for people to reflect on their comments and actions.

Behind a computer screen, people tend to say things that they would not say face to face. And as a rule of thumb, I feel that if you can't say something to a person's face, then you probably shouldn't say it on the computer.

At the end of the day, I don't care what people think of me, but it does shock me that some people have enough balls to say some of the things they do. When I bet they would keep their comments to themselves if I was there in person with them. . .

And again, it isn't the criticism that is the issue. It is merely the unnecessary bashing and personal attacks that I think is inappropriate.

More of goes under the Golden Rule: Do Unto Others As You Want Done Unto You. . .

Now if the people leaving "criticism" or whatever they want to call it, don't mind if someone comes up to them and tells them they are fat or they have an ugly face, then by all means, comment away! But chances are, most people don't like to get hated on, so my suggestion is only dish out what you are prepared to eat . . .