Bad Jokes

[BrokeDenver]

They are pretty corny, but thats what makes them funny lol.

 

[SGVBOB]

 

[BSB Jason]

Well I guess its official. The best part of waking up... has become the foldgers in my cup.

 

[rbar]

A woman in an expensive jewelry store spots a piece of jewelry on the bottom shelf, as she bends over to get a closer look she slips out a little fart. Hoping no one heard she looks around only to see the salesperson standing behind her, "Can I help you?" asks the sales person..The woman, thinking she's in the clear responds, "How much is this piece here?" pointing to the bottom shelf. The salesperson looks directly in the womans eyes & says, "If you farted when you saw it, you're gonna shit when I tell you the price!!"

 

[rbar]

My mom texted me, "What do IDK, LY and TTYL mean?

I answered: "I dont know. Love You. Talk to you later."

Mom: "Ok, I'll ask your brother."

 

[Ms. Kianna]

My mom texted me, "What do IDK, LY and TTYL mean?

I answered: "I dont know. Love You. Talk to you later."

Mom: "Ok, I'll ask your brother."

I Love it. And the sad thing is, there was a time when I would have thought the same way..........

 

[another1]

and then there was the guy who thought 'lol' meant lots of love.

 

[lovelumps]

and then there was the guy who thought 'lol' meant lots of love.

er, when I was in HS, that's what it meant!

 

[another1]

er, when I was in HS, that's what it meant!

well when he told his sister he wished he could be with her in her hour of need. lol it becomes funny in the current use of lol.

 

[lovelumps]

well when he told his sister he wished he could be with her in her hour of need. lol it becomes funny in the current use of lol.

oops! LOL

 

[rbar]

A man & wife are shopping & the husband picks up a case of beer & puts it in the cart. The wife barks, "What are you doing?" He replies, "They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans." The wife says, "Put it back, we can't afford it." A few aisles further the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream & puts it in the cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband. She says, "It's my face cream! It makes me look beautiful." The husband fires back, "So do 24 cans of beer & they're half the price."

****************************************

An old couple is having trouble making ends meet, and they talk things over and realize that the husband is too weak to make any real money, and decide that their best bet is to send the wife out on the streets to try her luck at hooking, agreeing that she'll only give blow jobs and not go all the way. The next day she gets all done up - make up, a short skirt, high heels, the works and the husband wishes her well as she heads out the door. She has a long first day, and finally comes back home late in the evening, and the old man asks, "Well, how did you do? How much did you make?". The wife replies, "Wasn't too bad, I guess. Had more business than I expected a woman my age to get, and I made $290 and 10 cents." The husband looks at her and says, "$290 and 10 cents! Who gave you the dime?" The woman rubs her jaw, and says, "Everybody..."

 

[JLipps4u]

Those were both great rbar!

 

[SGVBOB]

 

[lovelumps]

Hehe. Good one Bob! Just what I need! Lol

 

[SGVBOB]

A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a
gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table..He had been checking
her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back.

'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.'

They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theatre followed by drinks... They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.

After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!

'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman.. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'

'No,' she replies. . .....





Wait for it ..... ......





It's coming ...... ......




The suspense is killing you, isn't it?






She said .... ......:

'You just happened to catch my eye.'

 

[Ms. Kianna]

I like it, Bob. And amazingly, it isn't a blond joke.

 

[SGVBOB]

 

[Markymark]

I love how this forum is a treasure trove of useful info. Now all I need is a throneroom with that much space on each side of the throne!

 

[tampa24]

I don't know about the rest of you guys...but I hate that position. The water's so cold! And deep too!

 

[Buckeye1]

I don't know about the rest of you guys...but I hate that position. The water's so cold! And deep too!

I suspect that to be a "joke within a joke". lol