Should I or shouldn't I

[angelone]

I'm 57 yrs old and alone. I survived two relationships - too much drama not enough sex. I work in San Francisco and occasionally I'll drive up and down Polk street and see those loving young men standing waiting for some person to pick them up. My question is whether someone like myself should engage in such trade - money for sex - or just go for to the bars and look for mister right?

 

[cum2me01]

It depends if you are looking for a quick one night stand (no strings attached) or a real relationship. My belief is that you still want a relationship and should be looking for Mr. right. But it's up to you.

 

[kaalaaupuni]

Angel--just because you're in a bar not paying for the pleasure doesn't guarantee you'll end up with a meaningful relationship. I don't know of many lasting relationships that started in a bar. You do, however, ask that age old question many do--including heteros: how [where] do I find the right person? Part of the answer requires the luck of being in the right place at the right time, and another part might be being discerning and definitive about what you look for in a relationship.

Whether you pay for the pleasure or not, I hope you stay safe and also pick someone who gives you the satisfaction you seek. Even more, I hope you encounter someone who fits the description of a long-term significant other...

 

[Smiley]

angelone, it depends on you, not the cute, young guy on a street corner. How will you feel about it afterwards?

I couldn't do it. I passed on the opportunity in my younger days. In that moment the next morning, waking up, I'd hate myself. I just couldn't put myself through it. I've got to feel good about myself at that instant or it will be a terrible day.

Even if somebody is under the sheets next to you, you still wake up alone.

 

[angelone]

Smiley, you hit it right on the head! I love a good roll-in-the-hay especially if it's a young smooth horny guy. But I'm too sentimental and easily let go of my feelings for the person. I become too vulnerable and therefore become a easy target for anyone who wants to take advantage of me. Maybe that's what co-dependence means. I don't want to be a monk but I also don't want to lose my hard-earned wealth either. Yes, it doesn't hurt to see what's on the menu, the secret is not to taste or eat.

 

[lubetube]

It takes all kinds in this world so there are those who have no problem with paying for sex. I even know guys my age who go with the occaqsional "rent boy."

It's not my thing though and I can't imagine I'll think differently when I'm older. I live in NYC which obviously has a large population of gay hustlers roaming about, so I've made several observations on these boys who do it for cash. First off, I know a few of them and talk to them. They usually want to borrow money. I'm sure most readers know many of these guys are druggies.

You'll see most of them (not all) wearing the same clothes, for days. It's shocking considering their line of work but many street hustlers are lacking personal hygiene. They usually stink.

Most of these boys will do anything not to go to work at a traditional job. But, they'll stand corners from sun up till the wee hours in summer and winter for a trick which might not come for days. Then once they score a trick, they wind up spending the money on drugs and trivial things. The next day you'll find them hitting up friends for money again.

The typical rent boy sees his john purely as a financial target. He'll try to do the least for the most money. There's a little con artist in most hustlers.

Everything I've heard about sex with these boys leads me to believe that I wouldn't like it. They aren't into it for sex. The last thing they want is to orgasm. They go through the motions. Any amny of these boys will easily have sex without a condom and then only if the john supplies it.

Again, all this doesn't go for all street hustlers, but for an awful lot of them.

Recently a rent boy I know was complainng to me about this john he picked up who was supposedly a gorgeous young college jock. He told me the sex with this jock was amazing but when they were done the jock got dressed and left without paying.

I didn't say but I was thinking, why didn't the rent boy pay HIM? lol

 

[Markymark]

The typical rent boy sees his john purely as a financial target. He'll try to do the least for the most money. There's a little con artist in most hustlers.
l

A Little? Let me tell you from experience, we can size up the john in a snap, know what he wants, (or needs) and choose a line to use to reel him in. You are correct that hustlers do the least for the most, we also know the john MUST cum, and the better we do to achieve his orgasm, the more likely we are to get paid well, and maybe even stay for a night. (If the room is his, in the first place). Lots of times I would forego my orgasm because I knew I was gonna be back on 7th st. in just a few minutes, but, occasionally, a guy would happen along, who wanted more than just sex, and of course I played along, even though we both knew I was still leaving at some point. I had a guy one time tell me flat out he wanted to save me from the streets, I didn't have the heart to tell him I lived in a seminary!

I notice I used the present tense at first, but I assure you, I haven't been hustling for many many years now.

 

[mikeyank]

A Little? Let me tell you from experience, we can size up the john in a snap, know what he wants, (or needs) and choose a line to use to reel him in. You are correct that hustlers do the least for the most, we also know the john MUST cum, and the better we do to achieve his orgasm, the more likely we are to get paid well, and maybe even stay for a night. (If the room is his, in the first place). Lots of times I would forego my orgasm because I knew I was gonna be back on 7th st. in just a few minutes, but, occasionally, a guy would happen along, who wanted more than just sex, and of course I played along, even though we both knew I was still leaving at some point. I had a guy one time tell me flat out he wanted to save me from the streets, I didn't have the heart to tell him I lived in a seminary!

I notice I used the present tense at first, but I assure you, I haven't been hustling for many many years now.

You have to write a book about your life, Mark. I'm very interested. A seminary????

 

[lubetube]

Mark, I agree with Mike. You should tell us more about this. I think many forumites would be interested.

BTW, it didn't dawn on me that some forumites might have personal knowledge of that life. It should have been obvious to me though.

 

[JLipps4u]

Angelone,

Please don't do it! You worked hard for what you have, don't chance losing it over some punk who wants it the easy way.
Picking up guys for sex is dangerous! It was dangerous in the past, I believe it is even more so now. The thing is, sooner or later, you pick up some scum bag that is greedy and wants more than you agreed to pay. I have known too many people who have paid that price with their lives.

Loneliness IS such a sad affair. But it is not restricted to those without partners. A person can have a spouse and many family around, and still be lonely. That is what drives some to drink, others to suicide.

I always worry and am saddened when I hear someone express their loneliness. Babe, you came into this world alone, and you are going to leave it alone. So, learn first to be happy with yourself. Surround yourself with things that make you feel good as a person. Perhaps volunteer your time somewhere. Whatever it takes, to make you happy with yourself. Often, when we learn to be a happy person, full of love and giving, people begin to notice you, and seek you out. I've always found you meet better people when they are drawn to you because they see that you are a happy and fulfilled person. And through such a life, you often meet that special person, the one you could not find in the bars, or on the streets. Take care my dear, and be happy.

 

[Jayman01]

I'm 57 yrs old and alone. I survived two relationships - too much drama not enough sex. I work in San Francisco and occasionally I'll drive up and down Polk street and see those loving young men standing waiting for some person to pick them up. My question is whether someone like myself should engage in such trade - money for sex - or just go for to the bars and look for mister right?

Ultimately you have to live withwhat ever choice you make angelone... I think that your best chances at a relationship will come from networking with great friends and involvement in other social activities. It is unfortunate that most times GLBT people are stuck with finding romance in bar rooms or the possibility of paying for sex just for a quick thrill because of the lack of public acceptance in general. I think things are changing but often times they are changing too slow. I found some great relationships in the past through social networks with friends. Unfortunately, many of the guys I know wanted to have their gay sex on the down low and they wanted to play up their hetrosexual relationships publicly for the sake of their ego and or family pressures. However; I have developed quite a few great friends with benefits kind of friendships. I have a friend from Russia that loves to come over and have sex when ever he comes to town. LOL He also says Shhhh! He does not want his ex-wife to ever find out because of his daughter. Whatever... LOL

Bless your heart and choose wisely with your heart. Your heart will always lead your in the right direction...
So, should you or should you not. You are the only judge of that. Again, you have to live with you. To help you answer your own question, ask yourself how it would feel to you to spend money on a companion for a few hours of pleasure? That is the true test that should answer your question. The only otherthing I would tell you is to be careful and not just sexually if you choose to. Alot of the more experienced guys may create more drama than you ever encountered in a genuine relationship. That is the best I think I can offer you for advice.