Finally Sent the Letter to My Dad!

[Rob_Ryder]

So for all the members that have been helping me come up with the courage to tell my dad, after three years, that I do gay porn, this is for you!

I finally did it! It took two hours to write, but now it's in the mailbox and I feel great!

No turning back now, even if I wanted to haha.....

Thanks again for all the support guys. I will let you know how it turns out!

 

[rrhill]

There's a whole team of members here crossing their fingers for you. If you need support this forum is open 24/7 for models...

 

[BrokeStraightBoys]

Wow that is brave of you. I don't think I would ever tell my parents if I was a model on a gay porn site. They know I run them but that is a different story. Good luck Rob!

 

[rrhill]

Is it a different story to tell your parents you're a model on a porn site... about being gay... or run a porn site? It's the relationship you care about most.

Coming out of a closet is never easy. Not many parents cheer if they get the news. I'd go for the truth because carrying around a secret and lying is a heavy burden too. Better deal with the truth, rather than living the lie.

How Rob's father will react... I don't have the answers, does anyone?

 

[MissDeidra]

Good for you Rob. Hope it was the right decision. Cheers to you and positive thoughts.

 

[tampa24]

So for all the members that have been helping me come up with the courage to tell my dad, after three years, that I do gay porn, this is for you!

I finally did it! It took two hours to write, but now it's in the mailbox and I feel great!

No turning back now, even if I wanted to haha....

Thanks again for all the support guys. I will let you know how it turns out!

That's great news Rob!

I'm so happy for you that you have taken that step. You already feel part of that burden being lifted, don't you? As much as the news may shock him in the very beginning, the most respectful thing you could do was to let him find it out from you first. Not from some stranger or distant acquaintance.

Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Many hugs Rob.

Have a great time in D.C.!

 

[peterh6308]

Hey Rob, I'm assuming he already knows your gay, so the porn thing is the shocker right? Well I can't speak for your Dad, but most Dad's are happy that their Son's are working and not living off them! I was very fortunate when I told my Parents I was gay, my Mom said she already knew(I am naturally masculine) so she really couldn't have, but my Dad was cool with it, I was working, dating a great guy and being responsable and happy. I think that is really all our Parents want from us. What you do for a living isn't what you are as a person, I hope your dad feels the same way.

 

[RSand88]

Hey Rob, I'm assuming he already knows your gay, so the porn thing is the shocker right? Well I can't speak for your Dad, but most Dad's are happy that their Son's are working and not living off them! I was very fortunate when I told my Parents I was gay, my Mom said she already knew(I am naturally masculine) so she really couldn't have, but my Dad was cool with it, I was working, dating a great guy and being responsable and happy. I think that is really all our Parents want from us. What you do for a living isn't what you are as a person, I hope your dad feels the same way.

Peter, I assumed too that Rob was gay -- judging from his great action on his video -- but he says he is not, so telling his Dad that he is acting gay for pay must be even more difficult.

Rob, I personally feel that a face-to-face with your Dad would have been better but I have been reading the advice fellow members have been giving you and I admire you for following that advice,

Good luck in whatever you do from hereon! I look forward to more interchanges with you on this forum.

 

[another1]

Good luck, Rob!
enjoy Washington.
lots of love

 

[jtdestin]

I hope all goes well Rob.
Dads have was of blowing your minds.
My dad always reacted totaly differant than the way i thought.
lol a short story foer you.
my dad grew up in the 30s mind you. he was 40 when i was born.

well after i got devorced and got full custody of my son my dad came to visit for a week
and i had made up my mind to tell him i was bi sexual. we were sitting out by the pool having a drink when i broke the news. his only responce was at that point "well I guess you wont have any problem getting a date than" lol left me speachless for about 5 mins. than we both started laughing. the next morning he came to me and said son ill love you how ever you choose to live your life as long as your honest and take care of your family. i could not remember the last time he openned up and said he loved me.

well he blew my mind and it was to the good.
and i bet your dad will do the same to you buddy

jt

 

[whitewhale2]

Congratulations Rob, I hope it all turns out for the best. I have been reading a blog recently where many of the men are married and are interested in having sex with men but, of course, they can't or won't tell their wives. It is always a puzzle to me how they can live with this great lie over their heads. I guess they are afraid that their lives will be shattered if the truth is known. Kinda like you being afraid to tell your dad, but in the end truth is always the best. Good luck!

 

[juanjo]

I wish you the best. My father reacted well when I told him I was gay but I don't think he was surprised since he caught me kissing a boy in the garage when I was 13. But being a model is something different than just announcing you sleep with guys in the biblical sense.

 

[dracythis]

Is it a different story to tell your parents you're a model on a porn site... about being gay... or run a porn site? It's the relationship you care about most.

Umm... Yeah, being GLBT is something you're born with; no one is born destined to making porn for a living.... Personally I think telling your parents that you are GLBT would be easier for a parent to accept than you telling them you are having sex on film in exchange for money. However the reaction to either would depend on the family dynamic.... I could see some parents being totally cool with it, and some parents totally flipping shit.

Coming out of a closet is never easy. Not many parents cheer if they get the news. I'd go for the truth because carrying around a secret and lying is a heavy burden too. Better deal with the truth, rather than living the lie.

I actually came out to both my parents, my Mother took a while to come around, while my Father was totally cool with it from the beginning. However if I would have been starring in gay porn, there is no way I could have ever let me parents know. They would have flipped shit... Of course my Grandmother was such a free spirit, she probably would have just asked me if I expected her to watch it with me and left it at "No? Good." She would have looked at it as being on par with my cousin's dance recital videos, another annoying video she didn't want to watch. LOL

As with being truthful, if my parents were persistent with wanting to know what I did for a living, I probably would have stretched the truth and told them I am a GLBT Counselor. I would left out the part about dealing with sexual frustration. LOL

How Rob's father will react... I don't have the answers, does anyone?

No, the only person that could give a glimmer of insight into that is Rob. I have always believed that when coming out, it is best left to the person to do it on their own timetable when they are ready without any outside influence. I was just a little dismayed to see how many people were telling Rob to tell his family about his porn career, especially not knowing his family dynamic. For all we know, Rob's Dad could as carefree as my Grandmother or a staunchly religious conservative. I'm just hopeful that Rob was totally comfortable with coming out at this time and it was on his own terms. Not based on a glimmer of hope provided by members that don't really know the situation.

However the reaction good or bad, I hope Rob knows that there are plenty of members on the forums who he can talk to if he wants to. I am sure there are even some fellow models that have been through the same sort of thing that could provide some support as well.

 

[slimvintage]

Rob, I think you sent the letter, and presumably your father has got it. Have you had any reaction yet?

 

[Rob_Ryder]

Hey Rob, I'm assuming he already knows your gay, so the porn thing is the shocker right? Well I can't speak for your Dad, but most Dad's are happy that their Son's are working and not living off them! I was very fortunate when I told my Parents I was gay, my Mom said she already knew(I am naturally masculine) so she really couldn't have, but my Dad was cool with it, I was working, dating a great guy and being responsable and happy. I think that is really all our Parents want from us. What you do for a living isn't what you are as a person, I hope your dad feels the same way.

Hey Peter, thank you for the kind words. The thing that makes this hard is because I'm not gay LOL. . . So this is completely out of left field.

 

[Rob_Ryder]

Peter, I assumed too that Rob was gay -- judging from his great action on his video -- but he says he is not, so telling his Dad that he is acting gay for pay must be even more difficult.

This was definitely the hardest part about it! Now that all is said and done, I think that the letter was the way to go because of the type of person my Dad is. It probably gave him a chance to think over it more instead of overreacting if I was there. But, I think the end result would have been the same either way. Thankfully I've got you great people here on the forums!

 

[Rob_Ryder]

I hope all goes well Rob.
Dads have was of blowing your minds.
My dad always reacted totaly differant than the way i thought.
lol a short story foer you.
my dad grew up in the 30s mind you. he was 40 when i was born.

well after i got devorced and got full custody of my son my dad came to visit for a week
and i had made up my mind to tell him i was bi sexual. we were sitting out by the pool having a drink when i broke the news. his only responce was at that point "well I guess you wont have any problem getting a date than" lol left me speachless for about 5 mins. than we both started laughing. the next morning he came to me and said son ill love you how ever you choose to live your life as long as your honest and take care of your family. i could not remember the last time he openned up and said he loved me.

well he blew my mind and it was to the good.
and i bet your dad will do the same to you buddy

jt

That story reminds me of the type of response my Dad would give in that situation LOL . . Thanks for that story, you just made my day. I'm about to call my dad right now and see if he says anything

 

[Rob_Ryder]

Rob, I think you sent the letter, and presumably your father has got it. Have you had any reaction yet?

Oh goodness, well my Dad lives 30 minutes from my house and I sent it on Friday. So I figured the very latest he would get it was yesterday.

After I got back from DC, he texted me asking if I had made it back yet, and that he loves me and hopes all is well. But, no mention of the letter . . .

My theory is that he got it, but isn't freaking out enough to bring it up. I think that the letter did enough explanation that there really isn't anything else I could see him having questions about.

So let's HOPE that's what happened. If that's the case, then all is well!

I'm about to call him now and see if he brings it up. . . I'll keep you posted!

 

[Ms. Kianna]

Oh goodness, well my Dad lives 30 minutes from my house and I sent it on Friday. So I figured the very latest he would get it was yesterday.

After I got back from DC, he texted me asking if I had made it back yet, and that he loves me and hopes all is well. But, no mention of the letter . . .

My theory is that he got it, but isn't freaking out enough to bring it up. I think that the letter did enough explanation that there really isn't anything else I could see him having questions about.

So let's HOPE that's what happened. If that's the case, then all is well!

I'm about to call him now and see if he brings it up. . . I'll keep you posted!

The suspense is killing me.................

 

[tampa24]

We are all on pins and needles Rob. haha You know we are here for you buddy. Come what may...