Bsb Poetry and Lyrical Outlet

[willman30]

Very erotic; you talking from personal experience here?!

A guy can dream..... lol

 

[tampa24]

Thanks Tampa. I love being able to use constructive criticism

I hope you didn't think that was criticism Will. I was complimenting you on not being too wordy in that particular poem. By sticking to just the basics you didn't tell the reader exactly what the physical and emotional sensations would feel like. So by just setting the stage for them they could fill in the blanks in the mind's eye as to how it would apply to them and their own personal tastes and proclivities.

 

[willman30]

I hope you didn't think that was criticism Will. I was complimenting you on not being too wordy in that particular poem. By sticking to just the basics you didn't tell the reader exactly what the physical and emotional sensations would feel like. So by just setting the stage for them they could fill in the blanks in the mind's eye as to how it would apply to them and their own personal tastes and proclivities.

maybe criticism is the wrong word, insight? Lol I don't take it as negative.I'd love to hear what people have to say. I believe it makes me a better writer, as well as more intuitive and insightful.

 

[willman30]

Tampa

You rock, I just wanted to let you know that's criticism from the perspective that I have is not a bad thing this helps you grow and mature as well as gives you perspective. I hope that you didn't take that comment before as me being negative I sort of forget sometimes in writing poetry that less can be more.
to me it's almost like painting a picture or directing scene but with words. sometimes you have to edit and sometimes you have to add to what is there.

when I was in school I had a teacher that changed my perspective on the word criticism, she said when you give a critique are you not showing that writer where they can improve? hopefully one day I'll have a Thousand Poems posted and I can see my progression.

I love your comments and please keep them coming.

 

[tampa24]

Thanks Will!

 

[willman30]

Every Saturday, just like an old friend.
Insomnia comes to visit again.
Tossing and turning one long endless night.
My mind won't give up the fight.
I can look forward to sleep so dear.
When Monday night exhaustion comes and kicks me in the rear.

 

[Ambivalent]

LOL, Stowe!

That's the best laugh I've had, in 2014!!!

"A"

 

[Ambivalent]

Hey, guys ~

Great thread - and Willman, I love your poems!

I write a little, too, but this poem isn't mine. It's by the Canadian poet George Johnston, and I sent it to my b/f, just a few days ago: because I thought it was so perfect.

US TOGETHER

I do not like anything the way I
like you in your underwear I like you
and in your party clothes o my in your
party clothes and with nothing on at all
you do not need to wear a thing at all
for me to like you and you may talk or
not talk I like you either way nothing
makes me feel nearly so at home on Earth
as just to be with you and say nothing.

~ George Johnston.

"A" XOXOXOXOXOXO

 

[Ambivalent]

Hey, Willman -

I thought you might like this. It is a poem I loved since I first heard it in high-school. I wanted to quote it in my thesis, and I telephoned my high-school English teacher to ask him where to find it. He couldn't remember.

I looked for this poem, for almost 30 years, because I loved it, so much. Every day, I'd Google the opening lines that I recalled - and always came up empty-handed. Till just last year. When I found it, again.

It is called, "Not Writing", by the Montreal Jewish poet, Shulamis Yelin.

Not Writing

I am married to a crippled alphabet
that lies beside me in the night
and will not let me sleep.
It tugs at my limbs with conjugal demand.
pummels my belly, pressing issue,
then turns from me in loathing,
grey-lipped to face the dawn.

I curse the impotent lecher
yet dare not leave it,
for once, in a bright flash,
it played upon my flesh
a rhapsody
that will not cease to echo
in my ear.

~ Shulamis Yelin

"A" XOXOXOXOXOXO

 

[willman30]

Wow! I loved them both, Not Writing has to be my favorite

Hey, Willman -

I thought you might like this. It is a poem I loved since I first heard it in high-school. I wanted to quote it in my thesis, and I telephoned my high-school English teacher to ask him where to find it. He couldn't remember.

I looked for this poem, for almost 30 years, because I loved it, so much. Every day, I'd Google the opening lines that I recalled - and always came up empty-handed. Till just last year. When I found it, again.

It is called, "Not Writing", by the Montreal Jewish poet, Shulamis Yelin.

Not Writing

I am married to a crippled alphabet
that lies beside me in the night
and will not let me sleep.
It tugs at my limbs with conjugal demand.
pummels my belly, pressing issue,
then turns from me in loathing,
grey-lipped to face the dawn.

I curse the impotent lecher
yet dare not leave it,
for once, in a bright flash,
it played upon my flesh
a rhapsody
that will not cease to echo
in my ear.

~ Shulamis Yelin

"A" XOXOXOXOXOXO

Hey, guys ~

Great thread - and Willman, I love your poems!

I write a little, too, but this poem isn't mine. It's by the Canadian poet George Johnston, and I sent it to my b/f, just a few days ago: because I thought it was so perfect.

US TOGETHER

I do not like anything the way I
like you in your underwear I like you
and in your party clothes o my in your
party clothes and with nothing on at all
you do not need to wear a thing at all
for me to like you and you may talk or
not talk I like you either way nothing
makes me feel nearly so at home on Earth
as just to be with you and say nothing.

~ George Johnston.

"A" XOXOXOXOXOXO

 

[willman30]

COMIC-CON


Every where with a turn of the head beauty is a surprise.
Leaving in my mind the image of a skin tight disguise.
Home made idea's come to life from pure imagination.
Forcing the mind to wonder the limits of innovation.
Voices mimic those of the hero so beloved.
As heroes seek out villains for the battle pose to best them all.
In this Comic-Con the comic lovers ball