Bad Jokes

[Markymark]

Hey vicekid, did you hear the one about the boat passenger who wanted to know if the ship had ever sunk before?

 

[vicekid]

Hey vicekid, did you hear the one about the boat passenger who wanted to know if the ship had ever sunk before?

No! Was it???

On a somewhat more serious note (really) there was a young stewardess on the Titanic and she was one of the survivors. She enjoyed her job and got assigned to another ship, which was a sister ship of the Titanic (it might have been the Olympic). During WW1 that passenger ship while in the cruising in the Mediterranean was torpedoed by a German U-Boat and sunk. Would you believe it that she survived that sinking too? And she still did not give up working on a ship. I recently read her autobiography.

Strange but true.

Vicekid

 

[Jayman01]

No! Was it???

On a somewhat more serious note (really) there was a young stewardess on the Titanic and she was one of the survivors. She enjoyed her job and got assigned to another ship, which was a sister ship of the Titanic (it might have been the Olympic). During WW1 that passenger ship while in the cruising in the Mediterranean was torpedoed by a German U-Boat and sunk. Would you believe it that she survived that sinking too? And she still did not give up working on a ship. I recently read her autobiography.

Strange but true.

Vicekid

I wonder if her name was Kitty. Sounds like she had nine lives. LOL No, I am convinced that there are living imortals among us too. Wow, lots of jump off points here LOL.

 

[joninliverton]

These jokes are terrible...

 

[parisnoyd]

Really, Jon? If you want terrible, I'll give you terrible!!



What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean?



A= Bob




What do you call a man with no arms or legs lying on the floor?





A= Mat

 

[slimvintage]

The friend who holds your hand and says the wrong thing is made of dearer stuff than the one who stays away

Paris, that's excellent. Actually it sounds just like you. As everyone has noticed already anyway, I love you. Despite everything.

 

[Reubenjames]

Love the jokes, keep them cumming.
Reuben.

 

[parisnoyd]

Paris, that's excellent. Actually it sounds just like you. As everyone has noticed already anyway, I love you. Despite everything.

Slim,

You are an adorable smart ass!

I love you!

Paris

 

[slimvintage]

Love the jokes, keep them cumming.
Reuben.

Reuben, you got your avatar up man, cool!

 

[slimvintage]

Slim,

You are an adorable smart ass!

I love you!

Paris

God, I just told you in a mail that I love you too...this is getting very very emotional...

 

[Reubenjames]

Reuben, you got your avatar up man, cool!

Thanks Slim.
It only took me 3 hours to do LOL
Reuben.

 

[parisnoyd]

God, I just told you in a mail that I love you too...this is getting very very emotional...

Hhhmmmmm.... I read your PM. It isn't nice to mess with a parisnoyd!

 

[GreatLakes2]

Really, Jon? If you want terrible, I'll give you terrible!!
What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean?

A= Bob

What do you call a man with no arms or legs lying on the floor?


A= Mat

What do call a man with no legs and no arms hanging on a wall?

Art.
-------------------------------------------------
What do call a man with no legs and no arms lying in a pile of leaves?

Russell
-------------------------------------------------

What do call a man with no legs and no arms in a stock pot?

Stew
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What do call a man with no legs and no arms wedged under your bumper?

Jack
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What do call a man with no legs and no arms crushed under a steam roller?

Mark
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What do call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?
Eileen.
What if she is Chinese?
Irene.
_____________________________________________

 

[Jayman01]

What do call a man with no legs and no arms hanging on a wall?

Art.
-------------------------------------------------
What do call a man with no legs and no arms lying in a pile of leaves?

Russell
-------------------------------------------------

What do call a man with no legs and no arms in a stock pot?

Stew
-------------------------------------------------
What do call a man with no legs and no arms wedged under your bumper?

Jack
-------------------------------------------------

What do call a man with no legs and no arms crushed under a steam roller?

Mark
-------------------------------------------------
What do call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?
Eileen.
What if she is Chinese?
Irene.
_____________________________________________

I am kind of speechless here. Part of me is laughing, because I understand the humor of these jokes and I used to tell those jokes when I was younger. They brough back a lot of fun memories. The other part of me feels for those less fortunate that have been afflicted with being a quadriplegic. I am taking no offense toward those jokes... BTW you left out: Art hanging on the wall, Bob in the pool, and Matt sleeping in front of the door.

 

[parisnoyd]

GL, thank you! You remind me of so many Thanksgiving and Christmas family meals. One of my nephews is the king of the no arm/leg man jokes! He knows all of them! Between him and his brother (who could do stand up for a living), and our supposedly Christian dinners, they always turned into a laugh until you cry event! The Best of Times!!

 

[GreatLakes2]

Have I told you guys about my employment history?

I tried to be a doctor, but I didn't have the patience (patients)

I got a job in an orange juice factory, but I couldn't concentrate. The boss beat me to a pulp.

I tried to be a lumberjack, but I couln't cut it.

I worked as a pool cleaner, but I was drowning in work.

I attempted a job at a tomato processing plant, but I couldn't 'catch up.'

I had a get rich quick scheme: frozen condiments, but I couldn't cut the mustard.

 

[baal]

What about the two guys with no arms or legs holding up the drapes? Kurt and Rod...

 

[baal]

A guy's in a bar and starts telling a Polish joke. The bartender stops him and says 'Before you tell this joke, I should warn you that I'm Polish, the big beefy guys on either side of you are Polish and so is our bouncer. Do you really want to tell this joke?' The man thinks about it for a moment and answers 'Nah. Not if I'll have to explain it four times.'

 

[parisnoyd]

A guy's in a bar and starts telling a Polish joke. The bartender stops him and says 'Before you tell this joke, I should warn you that I'm Polish, the big beefy guys on either side of you are Polish and so is our bouncer. Do you really want to tell this joke?' The man thinks about it for a moment and answers 'Nah. Not if I'll have to explain it four times.'

I LOVE it!! Fuck PC!!! We are all at the mercy of humor. Get over your self!!

 

[Jayman01]

A guy's in a bar and starts telling a Polish joke. The bartender stops him and says 'Before you tell this joke, I should warn you that I'm Polish, the big beefy guys on either side of you are Polish and so is our bouncer. Do you really want to tell this joke?' The man thinks about it for a moment and answers 'Nah. Not if I'll have to explain it four times.'

That is bad...

Although I did hear that Pope John Paul hired a team of architects to move the Vatican six inches forward after he became pope. The close lines out back weren't tight enough. I am certain this isn't true but I laughed my ass off when I heard it.