Clearing the smoke with Miss D as Mod

[joninliverton]

well deidra has said she is taking a break from posting, i hope all of you are happy. now we have the silent submissive moderator you all like best. and steve, mark, and everyone else, thanks for your support

Joe, your loyalty to Deidra can only be admired but sometimes loyalty and friendship clouds the bigger issue. Most people on the forum have said that they have loved Miss Ds posts but their main gripe is that since her appointment, and because of her appointment, she can no longer post from the heart because she in fact represents management.

I personally think moderators should be picked from people who have very little input into the forums so that we do not get to know them personally and therefore do not see a difference in their attitude once given this much talked about position.

 

[scorpio]

Stephane,

We can agree to disagree. And I am aware of the hurt that this is bringing.
When I spoke to Chuck today he indicated that you were aware of the appointment and were for it. If I was mistaken in lumping you in with the other team members, I am truly sorry and please forgive.

Jason

I agree Jason, we can agree to disagree. I just wish you guys would not take it to such extreme. And we never said Deidra was gonna be the only mod either.

From what I understand. Some of you who joined a long time ago got their feelings hurt because nobody mentioned anything about this position, and we filled it with someone who joined the site not a long time ago. A lot of you members are passionate with Broke Straight Boys and you felt like you got slapped in the face. Am I right? If so, I'm sorry. I hate having my feelings hurt too so yeah I understand. I guess we didn't think this mod position was that important for you guys so we just asked Deidra if she wanted to be. She had mentioned to us she was familiar with our program so it was a natural choice.

But anyway, what's done is done, and I'm happy to have Deidra as a mod.
Now my question is: What would make you guys feel better? Cos at this point, I have no idea.

 

[zyl84]

Now my question is: What would make you guys feel better? Cos at this point, I have no idea.

scorpio, i wouldn't ask that question... what would make them happy would be to send them all their own personal model sex slave and never see that model again! i think they're nuts.

 

[scorpio]

Joe, your loyalty to Deidra can only be admired but sometimes loyalty and friendship clouds the bigger issue. Most people on the forum have said that they have loved Miss Ds posts but their main gripe is that since her appointment, and because of her appointment, she can no longer post from the heart because she in fact represents management.

I personally think moderators should be picked from people who have very little input into the forums so that we do not get to know them personally and therefore do not see a difference in their attitude once given this much talked about position.

Jon, I'm not sure why Deidra's attitude on the board would change. I work for Blumedia, it doesn't stop me from saying "this video is crap"... "I don't like queens" and God knows the other stuff I said on this board lol

 

[scorpio]

scorpio, i wouldn't ask that question... what would make them happy would be to send them all their own personal model sex slave and never see that model again! i think they're nuts.

haha yeah probably not the right question to ask huh lol

 

[joninliverton]

Jon, I'm not sure why Deidra's attitude on the board would change. I work for Blumedia, it doesn't stop me from saying "this video is crap"... "I don't like queens" and God knows the other stuff I said on this board lol

Aha Scorpio but from what we've already seen, you would be chastised. First impressions after Miss D's appointment showed her abruptness, some lack of judgement and understanding of the posters and it is this that has caused so much ill feeling thus far. I'm sure Miss D did not want to upset the apple cart so much but maybe she felt she had to waggle her gavel a bit following her appointment.

This is now water under the bridge and will not be overturned so good luck to you all.

 

[zyl84]

Aha Scorpio but from what we've already seen, you would be chastised. First impressions after Miss D's appointment showed her abruptness, some lack of judgement and understanding of the posters and it is this that has caused so much ill feeling thus far. I'm sure Miss D did not want to upset the apple cart so much but maybe she felt she had to waggle her gavel a bit following her appointment.

This is now water under the bridge and will not be overturned so good luck to you all.

i was completely unaware of her appointment. i read nothing different from before and after, i couldn't even mark the exact day it happened. by all of your reactions, i expected to find hitler and i see nothing more than a poodle.

 

[tucsonjayce]

I agree Jason, we can agree to disagree. I just wish you guys would not take it to such extreme. And we never said Deidra was gonna be the only mod either.

From what I understand. Some of you who joined a long time ago got their feelings hurt because nobody mentioned anything about this position, and we filled it with someone who joined the site not a long time ago. A lot of you members are passionate with Broke Straight Boys and you felt like you got slapped in the face. Am I right? If so, I'm sorry. I hate having my feelings hurt too so yeah I understand. I guess we didn't think this mod position was that important for you guys so we just asked Deidra if she wanted to be. She had mentioned to us she was familiar with our program so it was a natural choice.

But anyway, what's done is done, and I'm happy to have Deidra as a mod.
Now my question is: What would make you guys feel better? Cos at this point, I have no idea.

Stephane:

I don't really know at this point.

If it isn't such a big deal then why can't Chuck do it? And if it wasn't a big deal, then why not tell us of your plans? You're not obligated to, but it would have been the politic thing to do. Why one and not two? Yes Miss D is a recent addition to the mix. Yes she represents a different point of view. Yes she has made mistakes even with her 5 years experience of moderating.

You may be more enlightened than I, I readily admit that. However, style and process are important. Expectations are also a factor. To many of us who are older and more accustomed to formal environments, "moderator" has a particular meaning. It's a neutral position that does not inject their own personality into the mix. It's sort of like a referee. You get to make calls when things are out of bounds, but you don't get to play the game.

No one is saying she will abuse her "powers". But Blu and Miss D handled that poorly. Instead of getting ahead of it all, "you" got behind it and started playing defense. Even Chuck wasnot always "listening" on the phone today..... I hope I repeated myself enough to get some things thru.

Yes, gays have been discriminated against. Yes women have been discriminated against. But when a gay run, gay owned company that serves a predominantly gay following announces (or doesn't as the case is here) that the "first" member moderator is going to be a woman who is lively (and they all like) but is a recent addition and does not pair that up with a gay man, then there is going to be a backlash. The same would be true if I were appointed to the BOD of the NAACP. Yes, we are injured, yes we are hurt. And I am speaking for more than just myself. Others are not willing to come out and be berated for even saying anything because she's a woman and there are those who start going ballistic because their defense is solely that she is a woman. It hides the true conversation. How and what, not necessarily who.

Well, many, including management can say that it's no big deal. IMHO you are quite wrong. It does matter. Distrust is engendered when people are not informed. Management decided to do what it did. That's one for distrust. Management and the Moderator could not get on the same page as to her "powers" and duties. That's two for distrust.

How the hell does Blu regain the trust of the membership? I don't have the answer, I wish I did, Stephane, I wish I did.

Thanks.

Jayce

 

[tucsonjayce]

scorpio, i wouldn't ask that question... what would make them happy would be to send them all their own personal model sex slave and never see that model again! i think they're nuts.

Personally I am ok with being nuts. As to the sex slave thing, considering the other thread, I personally think it's in bad taste.

Jason

 

[jwglass]

i know yall think im entirely too close to deidra to say anything of importance, but if i am saying shes trust worthy along with many others, maybe there is some truth to it all. so she ruffled some feathers, that happens when people are reprimanded. in fact, i was one of the first people she reprimanded. you cant find anyone more impartial than her. so honestly, step off the whole deidra thing, you guys say its not about deidra, its about management. but who do you think is reading all of this? you really want to take away her voice here? fine. then im just going to scream louder, within the boundaries set by my moderators!

 

[ChuckBluMedia]

After conversations with everyone on our staff and some members we have no regrets for having Deidra as a mod.

Although it could have been handled differently when she was made a moderator we could have mentioned this to our members, I apologize for this. Most of the issue is that she is a woman, and honestly that is your problem, we do not discriminate on sex/race/religion here. All message boards have moderators, Mark, myself and Stephane don’t always get to see everything that is said on the board so glad we have an unbiased person that can handle it here, we know that we can't please everyone. We try our best to address the concerns with the majority of our members. I have also spoke with Deidra tonight about some of our policies, so we all have a clear understanding. We are actively looking for another volunteer to assist with the board if anyone is interested please let us know.

Most of you forget the mods already on here, you can speak to myself, Stephane or Mark.

It’s been quiet on the board for months, so glad we stirred it up a bit.
Now, on to happy posting & thank you for being a Broke Straight Boys member!

 

[tucsonjayce]

Chuck:

So much for listening to me on the phone today. Thanks for the blow off to me and every other gay male who thinks that this could have been handled better (your apology is way lame and in no way takes responsibility for your actions, which seems to be par for the course). Thanks for not recognizing that there might be some reaction when THE FIRST member moderator happens to be a woman, who appears to have been chosen because you like her and her knowledge of VBulletin, for a predominantly gay site (read that however you like and deal with it). You can't even understand how there could be some consternation over this. This is not a power play but a response to having been surprised and insulted that you could not have found someone to go along with her as moderator. You might be planning on doing it but you didn't. Hence the problem.

Everyone seems to think I have it out for Miss D. I don't. She has informed me that she wants nothing to do with me. I respect that and told her so. I do have it out for a management team that thinks something is not a big deal and when it turns out that it might be, resorts to shutting down expression of those concerns over "discrimination" or we are happy with what we did. All we seem to be doing is talking over each other heads.

You get your wish. You have won this battle. I will fight no more forever.

Jason

After conversations with everyone on our staff and some members we have no regrets for having Deidra as a mod.

Although it could have been handled differently when she was made a moderator we could have mentioned this to our members, I apologize for this. Most of the issue is that she is a woman, and honestly that is your problem, we do not discriminate on sex/race/religion here. All message boards have moderators, Mark, myself and Stephane don’t always get to see everything that is said on the board so glad we have an unbiased person that can handle it here, we know that we can't please everyone. We try our best to address the concerns with the majority of our members. I have also spoke with Deidra tonight about some of our policies, so we all have a clear understanding. We are actively looking for another volunteer to assist with the board if anyone is interested please let us know.

Most of you forget the mods already on here, you can speak to myself, Stephane or Mark.

It’s been quiet on the board for months, so glad we stirred it up a bit.
Now, on to happy posting & thank you for being a Broke Straight Boys member!

 

[slimvintage]

After conversations with everyone on our staff and some members we have no regrets for having Deidra as a mod.

Although it could have been handled differently when she was made a moderator we could have mentioned this to our members, I apologize for this. Most of the issue is that she is a woman, and honestly that is your problem, we do not discriminate on sex/race/religion here. All message boards have moderators, Mark, myself and Stephane don’t always get to see everything that is said on the board so glad we have an unbiased person that can handle it here, we know that we can't please everyone. We try our best to address the concerns with the majority of our members. I have also spoke with Deidra tonight about some of our policies, so we all have a clear understanding. We are actively looking for another volunteer to assist with the board if anyone is interested please let us know.

Most of you forget the mods already on here, you can speak to myself, Stephane or Mark.

It’s been quiet on the board for months, so glad we stirred it up a bit.
Now, on to happy posting & thank you for being a Broke Straight Boys member!

Chuck, I think that given the role you've assigned to Deidra, the fact she's a woman on a gay jackoff site it appropriate. Talk about impartial, she's definitely it.

I love the women on this forum. Most of them have PMed me at least once, all in the most friendly and flattering way. Lovelumps and Kianna are very good friends, Kianna being my stalwart. She and I are mega-tight.

So I think you're mistaken man in some of what you say, despite the fact that you're always a voice of extreme reason when you come on to comment. The girls are fun. They are bright and imaginative, and way out of the box. Just the fact that they get off on boys fucking each other means to me they are terrifically interesting. Maybe some of the longtime members feel a bit constrained by their light, hetero presence, but no one should feel they can't be themselves even if they get an occasional ewwww from Kianna. It was the way you guys handled it. You fucked that one up.

The other one is this. I hope I can say this the way I want to. You put a moderator on, in a very klutzy way, and then breezily say that the resulting bad feeling and discomfort, inept expressions of hurt and anger and general chaos, are great because they stirred up the forum, which had gotten boring.

I was personally enjoying it more than ever because of Kianna's really funny thread, telling the "Story". With all the shit you guys caused by bungling your appointment of Deidra as moderator, it's quite the reverse for me: the forum is now a place you almost dread to go into. To tell everyone to get back to normal is like spanking the wrong brother and then telling both of us to play nice and forget the injustice.

Live and learn Chuck, but don't pull that sophistic stuff about how it was all for the best. You're too cute and smart for that.

 

[joninliverton]

I don't have much more to add to what Jason and Slim have said in response to Chuck's post apart from it is rather in insult to our intelligence and the loyalty we have given Blu over the last so many years. Chuck by making light of this issue and coming out with statements like

"It’s been quiet on the board for months, so glad we stirred it up a bit.
Now, on to happy posting & thank you for being a Broke Straight Boys member!"

just goes to show how out of touch you are with the forum. To my knowledge the forum has been quite busy over the last few months and the only thing that we have not had, until now, is confrontation. Maybe that is what you really meant by quiet.

Well you certainly have "stirred things up" by the appointment and the horrendous way in which Blu have handled the ensuing fallout by trying to make light of the whole issue.

 

[mikeyank]

...........................You put a moderator on, in a very klutzy way, and then breezily say that the resulting bad feeling and discomfort, inept expressions of hurt and anger and general chaos, are great because they stirred up the forum, which had gotten boring.

I was personally enjoying it more than ever because of Kianna's really funny thread, telling the "Story". With all the shit you guys caused by bungling your appointment of Deidra as moderator, it's quite the reverse for me: the forum is now a place you almost dread to go into. To tell everyone to get back to normal is like spanking the wrong brother and then telling both of us to play nice and forget the injustice.

Live and learn Chuck, but don't pull that sophistic stuff about how it was all for the best. You're too cute and smart for that.

Once again Slimvintage has expressed my thoughts on a subject in a succinct way, much better than I could have myself, in his eloquent manner. I agree with him that this appointing a moderator from within the forum without informing us was done "in a very klutzy way". She was apparently PMing members to admonish them for what she considered offensive posts, without the members in question even knowing that she was a moderator. And then she made declarations on the forum about policy that made me say, "who put you in authority?". Well obviously management did without notifying us.

While she may be an excellent choice to be a fair, impartial moderator, it was indeed the manner in which management had implemented this change that irks me. Mark and Scorpio and Chuck should realize that this forum has become important to those of us who have accumulated "frequent forum miles" here. We used to joke a while back how the videos got in the way of our time spent on the forum.

Apparently I'm not the only one here who feels offended by the way management has handled this. Thanks Slim for stating my case. I would definitely hire you to represent me if I were brought up on charges.

I certainly do hope that things can get back to "normal" here again soon, but with David accusing members of breaking into his studio, and emailing personal friends from his childhood, (as if a couple of psychotic stalkers actually represent the general membership), and almost simultaneously, Mark, Chuck and Scorpio admonishing us for being displeased with changes implemented on the board without informing us, it seems like an odd way for upper management of BluMedia and D&E Studios to be treating it's loyal paying members.

It will indeed take some time for things "get back to normal".

 

[Denny Bear]

Oh my what a tangled mess we have here. I will chime in with I think the majority of the group in saying I am EXTREMELY displeased by the decision made by management to install Miss D as the moderator. To me it does and it does not have anything to do with gender. Let me say I respect Miss D dearly as a good friend and enjoy reading her posts. I also think she did a great job doing that interview and really enjoyed watching it. I also think highly of the rest of the online gals. The problem comes in the manor used to install one of them in charge. Yes its a guy thing and yes there is an elephant in the room. It is a part of our masculinity that we need our space. You are more then welcome to join us and use the benefits of membership but please don't try to take the place over. This is a guys room we don't need frilly curtains. To me it sort of feels like Dad just brought my little sister into baby sit me because he thought she was more mature. Unless you are in our shoes you can not understand this so please don't try to. Isn't it enough to know that it just bothers us that much. Unless I am mistaken Gay men make up the lions share of the membership. Don't you think it would be wise in this case to listen to your largest paying demographic? Many of us who are now angry have always been the largest supporters of this site. I can not speak for the rest of them but I truly believe a slap in the face like this is really going to change that feeling. For this reason and some others that I will announce later I am choosing to discontinue my posting to this forum and have already cleared out my profile. I will challenge Miss D to an option. If she truly wants to see the forum do so well then she should understand the feelings of the guys in here and for the betterment of everyone resign the position. No questions asked and no hard feelings. Everyone will be able to return to and go on loving each other. Mark, Chuck, Stephen, I love you all to death but the next time you decide to make this big of a mistake. Please get your head out of your ass first.

 

[zyl84]

ok, i just have one problem here... why do all of you who are upset by her appointment feel that you were entitled to know what the Broke Straight Boys mgmt do and are planning to do? you pay your money to enjoy porn content, these forums are a wonderful bonus. you shouldn't feel that mgmt needs to say 'hey guys, we're thinking about putting one or two volunteers out there to moderate the forums. moderators are there to keep the posts in their correct forums and let us know when a member on the forums is getting out of control or completely inappropriate. this is all due to x, y and z. thanks guys!' ... if you expected that, get real. this isn't your business and you don't have a word in how it's to be run! get over your entitled attitude and enjoy yourselves. i could only imagine what would have happened if they had announced that they were looking for a mods. i can only imagine all of you who are causing such a panty twisting session applying and than not being chosen! that would have been the end of the world, or so it appears.

and to even be upset that it's a woman? holy... the women on these forums are into the same thing we are! straight guys getting fucked in the ass. we should exalt them for being so open and accepting! please, come into 2010 and embrace one another instead of discriminating.

i'm sorry, i just have a really hard time seeing why you are all so upset. now, if you'll excuse me, my dick needs some attention.

 

[tampa24]

I concur with Slim and Mike.

I must say that as much as I understand the views of those who are dead set opposed to Miss D's appointment, not all of us feel that strongly. I think that a co-moderator who is a man would be a very welcome compromise. I find Miss D to be a charming, intelligent person. She thoroughly enjoys herself here. I see no need to make her life hell. Far from it. I want her to stay and enjoy herself for as much time as she likes. For years if she so chooses.

We gays face so much hostility in the outside world. It would be a shame if we get labeled in here as a bunch of misogynists. We are not.

 

[zyl84]

We gays face so much hostility in the outside world. It would be a shame if we get labeled in here as a bunch of misogynists. We are not.

well said tampa.

 

[slimvintage]

i'm sorry, i just have a really hard time seeing why you are all so upset. now, if you'll excuse me, my dick needs some attention.

Need any help with that...?