Why am I gay?

[cumrag27]

What I miss the most today is the...

I was much the same way as you Undie, growing up. I didn't identify with the closeted "gay role models" of the era of my growing up. I didn't consciously think of Liberace as gay, but rather thought he was a kind of a "freak", with his outlandish way of dressing, and his feminine speech patterns, much the same way I felt about Tiny Tim, a decade or so later. There was one comedic actor who gave off a very gay vibe that I really enjoyed and that was Paul Lynde. I loved him on Bewitched, and in the movie Bye Bye Birdie, and he was a total pisser on Hollywood Squares. On Hollywood Squares he was doing double entendre jokes, hinting at his being gay, too. He was very cool.

I too enjoyed the boys in my classes much more than the girls. As I got older, I was obviously totally aware that the guys were attracted to the girls, while I was not. Initially, I thought my "boy crazy" period was just a stage I was going through, and that I would discover the secret of attraction to females and their body parts when I got older. But now I am very much older, and still going though my "boy crazy" stage, so I guess it ain't gonna' happen.

My male "role models" on television were always good looking guys, not gay acting guys. My earliest crush's that I can recall were George Reeves, (Superman), and believe it or not Bob Barker on Truth or Consequences. I thought he was totally hot and even wrote him a fan letter when I was eight years old or so. I was crushed when he didn't respond.

I later admired and lusted after, in my own boyish way, Tony Dow, Ricky Nelson, Don Grady, (Robbie on My Three Sons), Johnny Crawford from the Rifleman, Tim Considine from many Disney shows including Spin and Marty, and numerous other hotties.

None of these guys made me gay, but made me realize that cute guys were hot, and that girls didn't do it for me. I believe more and more that I was born this way, and that probably 10% of the population is "wired" the way I am, and it had nothing to do with any gay role models, or the way I was raised, or my relationship with my father. But it has been fun remembering some of the celebrity hotties that I was attracted to in my youth.

Dear mikeyank,

How delightful and validating are your comments and it makes me feel a close kinship with you and your candid reflections.

Before fixating on the "boys" in all of their glory, at 4 or 5 I became addicted to Marilyn Monroe and was frequently immitating her voluptious hip movements as she walked. I got alot of positive attention and, just like Norman Mailer, I am a lifelong fan of her. My most favorite Marilyn Monroe movies are the ever charming and funny "The Seven Year Itch" with it's outageously funny scene with Tom Ewell both sitting on a piano bench. I won't spoil it for you. You must see it. The other must see movie is a more obscure 1956 film entitled "Bus Stop". It certainlly is not the most glamorous project. However, her vulnerability is prominently displayed and most touching to see. I guess you can see that I simply love her, even today.

Seven Year Itch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7CnSPMPt68

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bq1HSjZUL5I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLOEq-OY2II

Bus Stop:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Th6mNuzRwp8



Happy Birthday JFK:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfQtfw8U06g


When I was 14, I had a paper route and it was 2+ miles from my home. On Sunday Aug 5, 1962 I had just completed my morning route and was returning home on my bike. Curiously, I was met by my father in the car and he came bearing bad news. This was the first I had heard of her so-called suicide (translation: mob murder in other words) and it was as if a nuclear blast had just gone off in my unsuspecting 14 year old head. The mushroom cloud was looming overhead and I had no where to hide. To this day, I miss her beauty, her charm, her wit, her honesty, but most of all I miss her vulnerability as I am convinced of her inner beauty and innocence. Truthfully, my eyes today are filled with tears as I am writing this over Marilyn's unfortunate tragic ending. She deserved so much better than this!

Joan Crawford (long before Mommie Dearest) was another person I had burned into my memory with her big and intense eyebrows and all. I most remember a Western where she played a saloon owner and the movie was Johnnie Guitar and this was the iconic scene of the movie playing a piano as a lynch mob busts in:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mn79n1NsSkk

Then there was a visually magnificent movie featuring Deborah Kerr and Yul Brenner in the "King and I" with its outrageously beautiful costumes and its grand sets. Here is one of the highlights of this magnificent musical:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdyqmN5cnRQ

Another 1956 movie featuring Deborah Kerr was the classic "Tea and Sympathy" which broke new ground and was dealing with coming to terms with one's homosexuality and done "all in good taste", according to the movie trailer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sJqnG-I1SY

I saw "Tea ans Sympathy" at age 8 and I could not get this story out of my mind even though I had no clue of what exactly being gay was. AS A MOVIE IT IS SUPURB AND WAY AHEAD OF ITS TIME IN DEPICTING HONESTLY THE DELIMMA OF ACCEPTANCE ON YOUR SELF. THE TRAILER IS MOST INADEQUATE POINTING OUT THE TRUE SIGNIFICANCE OF THIS GREAT MOVIE.

Then in 1958 there was the every charming and Academy Award winning musical "Gigi". Here is a trailer for the film:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEofRODHZ1w

followed by another 1958 classic "Auntie Mame" with Rosalind Russell at her very best. This is a story of "riches to rags to riches" and her favorite nephew and his son. Its truly magical, especially the ending scene:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xykJHsZ7y4I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzl9EyykNo0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPX4S5cNx_c

And assorted scenes set to Queen's "Killer Bees";

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Le3L1-Sgs9s

Unfortunately, the clip of the marvelous final scene is not available. Simply stated, it is almost dream like as Auntie Mame assends the rounded staircase wearing this most beautiful golden lace shawl over her head as she escorts her grandson telling him of the wonderful sights to see in the world before their leaving on their journey together. I was so enamored and transfixed over Rosalind Russell and I transported myself onto the screen replacing her beloved grandson about to begin this new adventure of a lifetime.

I am complete worn out from all my emotions I've released as this posting has been one hell of a pesonal journey for me! Hope you found it gratifying too!

Sincerely,

Cumrag, aka Stimpy

 

[mikeyank]

Dear mikeyank,
How delightful and validating are your comments and it makes me feel a close kinship with you and your candid reflections.

Thank you cumrag for your nice words, and all of the visual evidence of your childhood idols, and heroes. While our taste, even as youth's may have been different, I appreciate the effort you took to share these clips with the rest of the forum. If I wasn't so lazy, I would look to see if any clips exist of my boyhood hero's.

 

[underwear fun]

My male "role models"

My male "role models" on television were always good looking guys, not gay acting guys. My earliest crush's that I can recall were George Reeves, (Superman), and believe it or not Bob Barker on Truth or Consequences. I thought he was totally hot and even wrote him a fan letter when I was eight years old or so. I was crushed when he didn't respond.

I later admired and lusted after, in my own boyish way, Tony Dow, Ricky Nelson, Don Grady, (Robbie on My Three Sons), Johnny Crawford from the Rifleman, Tim Considine from many Disney shows including Spin and Marty, and numerous other hotties.

Hi Mike,

I thought I'd check out your male "role models". Hope you don't mind. Interested to see what you 'older' guys hotted after back in the day.

Well Superman looks 'fetching' in the undies on the outside, not! And where is the bulge? You really have to be kidding about Bob Barker. What did you see in him....money?

Is that Tony Dow on the 1960's futon! Just imagine a very very early episode of Broke Straight Boys but probably he was not that broke.

For me, Don Grady looks hot (dark hair again), I'm up for playing catch with him!

Undie

 

[cumrag27]

Really Hot to Trot:

Dear Undie,

I wish we could all participate in a pole checking off the named male celebrities we have fantasized about in our misspent youth or even more recently. So much brainpower combined with hand power devoted to such momentary illusions; not mentioning gallons of lube and/or spit; and cases of wadded up Kleenex following the meteor showers. Then, there are all of those as yet unexplained crusty stains on bedspreads, your best tie, the original oil painting above the headboard, or the living room sofa. Life is filled with dangers living on the frontlines.

Right now after freshening up a bit, I'd have to vote for Don Grady, Johnny Crawford, Ricky Nelson(after he matured and became really hot appearance-wise), and Tony Dow. Just as former military members get awarded extra points on civil service exams, all shirtless TV celebrities deserve similar extra points in my book.

These unsolicited votes should not reflect negatively on a member nominating them.

 

[Ms. Kianna]

Hi Mike,

I thought I'd check out your male "role models". Hope you don't mind. Interested to see what you 'older' guys hotted after back in the day.

Well Superman looks 'fetching' in the undies on the outside, not! And where is the bulge? You really have to be kidding about Bob Barker. What did you see in him....money?

Is that Tony Dow on the 1960's futon! Just imagine a very very early episode of Broke Straight Boys but probably he was not that broke.

For me, Don Grady looks hot (dark hair again), I'm up for playing catch with him!

Undie

Undie Honey,

Not that I disagree with your confusion over Bob Barker being classified as a hottie, because I don't, but who did you think was hot, WHEN YOU WERE EIGHT?

 

[cumrag27]

Who were the people you had crushes on as a teen?

Hi Mike,

I thought I'd check out your male "role models". Hope you don't mind. Interested to see what you 'older' guys hotted after back in the day.

Well Superman looks 'fetching' in the undies on the outside, not! And where is the bulge? You really have to be kidding about Bob Barker. What did you see in him....money?

Is that Tony Dow on the 1960's futon! Just imagine a very very early episode of Broke Straight Boys but probably he was not that broke.

For me, Don Grady looks hot (dark hair again), I'm up for playing catch with him!

Undie

Dear Undie,

Thanks for doing all of the legwork hunting down various clips or photos of celebrities. Now, we want to see your dreamboats too? Don't be shy now! Put it out there for the masses to see, gawk at, or ignore.

I will do my best to find suitable photos and/or clips matching your personal choices.

 

[tampa24]

Even though he is not of my generation at all, I have to agree that Montgomery Cliff was hot. He broke Elizabeth Taylor's heart. For many reasons. And she mourns him to this very day.

 

[underwear fun]

My favs

Undie Honey,

Not that I disagree with your confusion over Bob Barker being classified as a hottie, because I don't, but who did you think was hot, WHEN YOU WERE EIGHT?

Dear Undie,

Thanks for doing all of the legwork hunting down various clips or photos of celebrities. Now, we want to see your dreamboats too? Don't be shy now! Put it out there for the masses to see, gawk at, or ignore.

I will do my best to find suitable photos and/or clips matching your personal choices.

Ok guys, I guessed I was setting myself up.

Coming from a large family I didn't get much TV time and was more interested in playing outside with my mates.

Nevertheless, I enjoyed watching Adam Brody in 90210 even though I didn't really care for the show. Also David Duchovny in the x-files especially when he surprised everyone with climbing out of the pool in a pair of red speedos. I enjoyed Keanu Reeves for a while (were those gay rumours any more than rumours, they got my hopes up). Other more recent Hollywood actors include Orlando Bloom, Jake Gyllenhaal and Wentworth Miller from Prison Break. Probably the current hotties are Andrew Garfield and Colin Morgan.

You'll probably see an obvious theme going on with these guys.

Undie (go easy on me)

 

[mikeyank]

Hi Mike,

I thought I'd check out your male "role models". Hope you don't mind. Interested to see what you 'older' guys hotted after back in the day.

Well Superman looks 'fetching' in the undies on the outside, not! And where is the bulge? You really have to be kidding about Bob Barker. What did you see in him....money?

Is that Tony Dow on the 1960's futon! Just imagine a very very early episode of Broke Straight Boys but probably he was not that broke.

For me, Don Grady looks hot (dark hair again), I'm up for playing catch with him!

Undie

Thank you Undie for doing the leg work and researching visual evidence of the hotties from the deep recesses of my brain, and sometimes things from an adult point of view, in retrospect things are not exactly what you remember. However the images you got of George Reeves are probably from the last season of the show when he was not as hot as the younger Superman, and in my youthful mind Bob Barker was handsome debonair, and had a great smile.

But the Tony Dow that you found is "oh la la", remarkably sexy and as you suggest, he is totally "futon worthy" (to use a Seinfeld reference), and Rick Nelson is one of the hottest guys of all time. Johnny Crawford is awfully young looking in your picture, but after all I was younger than him, so it's okay.

Thanks for the research and thanks for the hot, hot pic's of some of the other's.

 

[cumrag27]

Rick Nelson - what a hottie!

I was much the same way as you Undie, growing up. I didn't identify with the closeted "gay role models" of the era of my growing up. I didn't consciously think of Liberace as gay, but rather thought he was a kind of a "freak", with his outlandish way of dressing, and his feminine speech patterns, much the same way I felt about Tiny Tim, a decade or so later. There was one comedic actor who gave off a very gay vibe that I really enjoyed and that was Paul Lynde. I loved him on Bewitched, and in the movie Bye Bye Birdie, and he was a total pisser on Hollywood Squares. On Hollywood Squares he was doing double entendre jokes, hinting at his being gay, too. He was very cool.

I too enjoyed the boys in my classes much more than the girls. As I got older, I was obviously totally aware that the guys were attracted to the girls, while I was not. Initially, I thought my "boy crazy" period was just a stage I was going through, and that I would discover the secret of attraction to females and their body parts when I got older. But now I am very much older, and still going though my "boy crazy" stage, so I guess it ain't gonna' happen.

My male "role models" on television were always good looking guys, not gay acting guys. My earliest crush's that I can recall were George Reeves, (Superman), and believe it or not Bob Barker on Truth or Consequences. I thought he was totally hot and even wrote him a fan letter when I was eight years old or so. I was crushed when he didn't respond.

I later admired and lusted after, in my own boyish way, Tony Dow, Ricky Nelson, Don Grady, (Robbie on My Three Sons), Johnny Crawford from the Rifleman, Tim Considine from many Disney shows including Spin and Marty, and numerous other hotties.

None of these guys made me gay, but made me realize that cute guys were hot, and that girls didn't do it for me. I believe more and more that I was born this way, and that probably 10% of the population is "wired" the way I am, and it had nothing to do with any gay role models, or the way I was raised, or my relationship with my father. But it has been fun remembering some of the celebrity hotties that I was attracted to in my youth.

Dear Mikeyank.

The male celebrities(mostly straight) that I had a crush on were mostly mainstream actors such as Gary Cooper, Gregory Peck., Richard Chamberlin, Clint Eastwood, Paul Newman, Rod Serling(Twlight Zone-deceased), Anthony Hopkins, Jeremy Irons, Antonio Banderas, Jake Gyllenhaal, Heath Ledger(deceased), and Ryan Reynolds. I'm sure there many more I have overlooked, as I do indeed love masculine men primarily. Effeminate men like Nathan Lane I love for their "special acting and/or comedic talents" and not due to any crush.

I didn't want to leave the mistaken impression my gaydar was fully operational at age 6 or something. Those earlier actors were from the 50's and gay and met what I assumed was the appropriate criteria for the thread. Most celebrities I like are not gay however, probably in direct proportion to the population overall.

Concerning Bob Barker, he has always been physically fit, tanned, and charming and I think that is what most viewers responded to. Of course he was much younger in the 1960's - 70's than the picture Undie found. When George Reeves(age 45) possible (suicide/murder) on June 16, 1959, my mother had to have a talk with me at age 11 to explain how this could happen. I have to agree with you that Paul Lynde was definitely good for a laugh, although he was totally outrageous.

Concerning Rick Nelson, he was by far the best looking Nelson and had absolutely beautiful eyes to go with the rest of him. I remember an TV episode where Rick was being initiated at high school and the guys forced him to remove his jeans in the locker room and placed them on the flag poll outside. I remember being very sexually stirred up by the prospects of forcing him to undress! Woooow!

In conclusion, none of my crushes made me gay either and I didn't mean to suggest it did. I was trying to make the point that I found gay people I greatly admired but their orientation was not ever my motivating factor for seeking them out. It seemed more my destiny as fate would have it.

Anyway, I have enjoyed working on this project and reliving some facets of my past. And I fully believe that all of our experiences in life collectively have contributed to the person I am today and with no regrets!

 

[cumrag27]

Undie's favorite actor collage

Ok guys, I guessed I was setting myself up.

Coming from a large family I didn't get much TV time and was more interested in playing outside with my mates.

Nevertheless, I enjoyed watching Adam Brody in 90210 even though I didn't really care for the show. Also David Duchovny in the x-files especially when he surprised everyone with climbing out of the pool in a pair of red speedos. I enjoyed Keanu Reeves for a while (were those gay rumours any more than rumours, they got my hopes up). Other more recent Hollywood actors include Orlando Bloom, Jake Gyllenhaal and Wentworth Miller from Prison Break. Probably the current hotties are Andrew Garfield and Colin Morgan.

You'll probably see an obvious theme going on with these guys.

Undie (go easy on me)

Dear Undie,

Its nothing like having to show your cards all at once!

I hope that these are to your liking, Undie. Certainly, they are far removed from the overly fastidious photo of my rosy cheeked Liberace. I do want to commend you on your "good taste in testosterone-enriched masculine men". They are such an improvement over mine.

Hope you enjoy them as much as I did locating them.

At least that is only spit dripping from above, I assume.

I hope it has been worth the wait and worthy of keeping you up late in your "private time".

 

[underwear fun]

Dear Undie,

Its nothing like having to show your cards all at once!

I hope that these are to your liking, Undie. Certainly, they are far removed from the overly fastidious photo of my rosy cheeked Liberace. I do want to commend you on your "good taste in testosterone-enriched masculine men". They are such an improvement over mine.

Hope you enjoy them as much as I did locating them.

At least that is only spit dripping from above, I assume.

I hope it has been worth the wait and worthy of keeping you up late in your "private time".

Ohhhhhh yeah......Christmas has come early for Undie!

My 90210 favorite Adam, my sisters used to watch this show regularly but I didn’t like it save for Adam. I used to be within ear shot to hear Adam’s voice then jump into the room to watch his scenes. Andrew with such a serious look and all rugged up, love those brown eyes. Forget the dyed spiderman hair but will check out his buns in lyra. Colin comes across as a genuinely fun and likeable guy and I enjoy his acting in Merlin. Why did David do those funny nude shoots then went on to do that Californication rubbish show?? Great you captured Jake’s amazing cheeky smile and blue eyes. Early Keanu had that happy go lucky and little boy lost look. Well Orlando is just beautiful Orlando. Finally, Wentworth has that blue eye serious look and great body, I would volunteer to wash the tats off at the end of the shoot.

Thanks Stimpy for the effort, more well chosen pics than expected so more fun too (especially Adam on the bed),

So who is next to list out their favorites......Ms. K?????.....I think!

Undie

 

[Ms. Kianna]

Ohhhhhh yeah......Christmas has come early for Undie!

So who is next to list out their favorites......Ms. K?????.....I think!

Undie

Okay Undie!

We share a love for Keanu and Orlando. I will also add Hugh Jackman, Gilles Marini, Paul Walker from all the Fast and Furious movies, Shemar Moore from Criminal Minds, and I like the good guy Paul Wesley and the bad guy Ian Somerhalders, from the Vampire Diaries.

There are so many hot guys out there, but these will do.

 

[lovelumps]

Happy Sunday!

Okay Undie!

We share a love for Keanu and Orlando. I will also add Hugh Jackman, Gilles Marini, Paul Walker from all the Fast and Furious movies, Shemar Moore from Criminal Minds, and I like the good guy Paul Wesley and the bad guy Ian Somerhalders, from the Vampire Diaries.

There are so many hot guys out there, but these will do.

Mmmmm... such eye candy!

 

[Ms. Kianna]

Mmmmm... such eye candy!

They are beautiful, and if you remember from past threads, I am all about the eyes.

Great choice on the Hugh Jackman photo, he has played so many roles, you never know what he is going to look like.

 

[lovelumps]

Shawn Cassidy was my first Hollywood crush. I watched The Hardy Boys all the time! Ultimately, I think Parker Stevenson was really more handsome, but he didn't sing....

Some of my favorite movie stars from the 80s often portrayed the bad boys like Matt Dillon in Little Darlings and The Outsiders, Judd Nelson in The Breakfast Club, Robert Downey, Jr. in Less than Zero, James Spader in sex lies and videotape, Johnny Depp in Cry-Baby.

Then there were the action hero types, like Harrison Ford in the Indiana Jones movies, and Bruce Willis, Cary Elwes in The Princess Bride. I was a big fan of The Arnold, as well... I loved his documentary about body building! Whew!

I have a list of the sweet, good guy, best friend type actors who I always hoped I'd find just around the corner like Matthew Broderick in Ferris Bueler’s Day Off, Colin Firth in Pride and Prejudice and Hugh Grant in Sense and Sensibility, Johnny Depp in Edward Scissorhands... he was so sensitive!

I could go on and on... but I think that's a good sampling of men from my formative years I'm sure there are more handsome men from the 80's, but I like these guys, and lucky for me, many of them are still around!

 

[cumrag27]

Thats right, gray eye candy!

Mmmmm... such eye candy!

Dear Lovelumps,

If Ian Somerhalder is not already spoked for, I would like to say his eyes are just for me. Honestly, I have had to step back from my monitor's outer edge out of fear of falling into those beautiful light gray eyes of his. What a charming guy he is and especially up close.

They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul and, after looking more closely, I saw a note on the window stating "Take me home with you!" I surely wouldn't want to disappoint Ian after we just met.

 

[Ms. Kianna]

Oh, Lovelumps my friend. I was so with you about all your hot guys, until Edward Scissorhands. At that one I had to laugh. I can honestly say I have never had any fantasies there.

You are sooooo right about Ian, Cumrag. His character is such a "bad guy," but those eyes are sooooo beautiful.

 

[lovelumps]

Hmmmmm...

They are beautiful, and if you remember from past threads, I am all about the eyes.

Great choice on the Hugh Jackman photo, he has played so many roles, you never know what he is going to look like.

I liked Hugh in that photo a lot. I remember seeing him sing and dance onstage at some award show years ago. That was something to see! Such a lost art in Hollywood.

Now, this is the man I dream about now... the lips, the eyes... Jude just does something to me... something I like very much

 

[cumrag27]

Revisiting an "Oldie but Goodie": Why an I Gay...

Just bumped up this old thread. I thought it might generate some conversation now. Some of the original contributors are long gone like Undie and Clock12, but they had great contributions to share in raising the level of discourse on the forum. For me joining in March 2010, I felt I had arrived in the "Golden Age" of our Forum.

Take a few minutes to see if there is anything that catches your eye. The topic is timeless in scope.



Sincerely nostalgic,


Stimpy