The Virtual Coffee Shop, Diner And Corner Pub

[tampa24]

Well I guess I will be following you, I didn't just say it, I lived it...I tried for years to be STRAIGHT, even though I knew who I was......True story, the last woman I lived with, set up a 3 way with a friend of ours, why, because she said she knew.....and another truth, this is the first time I ever told that to anyone...Including my dear friends Peter, MikeY, and Rep.....I was 38 years old at the time !!!!

Wow. So you know wherefrom you speak. lol

 

[Foxyman1961]

There are many who've participated on this forum Rafe, both in the past and currently who were living the same lie, trying to live the ideal life, with a wife and kids and as Peter has told me he wanted the "house with the white picket fence". But at least at some point, you and the others I've known here and off the forum as well, decided that you had to be true to yourself. And I'm sure you're glad you did. It's not fair to yourselves or to your female partners.

Now me on the other hand, I always knew I liked cock from my earliest memories as a little boy. I would go to the library and discreetly looked up books on "homosexuality". Many books back then said that all boys go through that stage, but now approaching age 70, I never passed that stage.

Your not alone in doing this Mikeyank I can remember doing something similar at the local library when I was in my early teens, looking up books on anatomy that I knew had naked pictures in, wow not thought about that for many years.

 

[mikeyank]

Your not alone in doing this Mikeyank I can remember doing something similar at the local library when I was in my early teens, looking up books on anatomy that I knew had naked pictures in, wow not thought about that for many years.

Actually Foxyman, I wasn't looking for naked pics, but Lord knows if I found any I would have loved it. But I knew the word homosexual and I knew that I was sexually attracted to boys and so with no internet back in the early to mid sixties I went to my local library to find out about this "strange" attraction that I had to penis and to boys. It was quite comforting to learn that I was far from alone in being a young man into other young men and not into girls.

 

[Foxyman1961]

Actually Foxyman, I wasn't looking for naked pics, but Lord knows if I found any I would have loved it. But I knew the word homosexual and I knew that I was sexually attracted to boys and so with no internet back in the early to mid sixties I went to my local library to find out about this "strange" attraction that I had to penis and to boys. It was quite comforting to learn that I was far from alone in being a young man into other young men and not into girls.

Know where you are coming from here Mikeyank. I think I knew I was attracted to boys from around ten years old but didn't really know why. With the onset of puberty at around the same time and also growing up in the 70s like you there was no social media or internet to help so the only place I could go where no one battered an eye was the library and I never heard about homosexuality until much later in my teens I had heard the terms queer and Nancy boy but never knew what they meant. The only thing I knew was from sex education at school that there was books with naked men in if you looked at anatomy books so hence finding these. I just have gone here st least three times a week and my parents thought I was going to do homework, if only they knew!!!

 

[Rafe]

There are many who've participated on this forum Rafe, both in the past and currently who were living the same lie, trying to live the ideal life, with a wife and kids and as Peter has told me he wanted the "house with the white picket fence". But at least at some point, you and the others I've known here and off the forum as well, decided that you had to be true to yourself. And I'm sure you're glad you did. It's not fair to yourselves or to your female partners.

Now me on the other hand, I always knew I liked cock from my earliest memories as a little boy. I would go to the library and discreetly looked up books on "homosexuality". Many books back then said that all boys go through that stage, but now approaching age 70, I never passed that stage.

Well it wasn't so much of living a lie, as it was conforming to what was expected of me in the environment that I was raised....I knew I was gay, since I was 12....but what kept going thru my mind is, I can do this, I'll grow out of it, it's just a phase, etc....And like Peter, what was expected was a wife, a slew of kids, and yes, a house with a white picket fence...

You also have to remember that my pops died when I was 14, and I was expected to pick up the pieces, be the man of the house for my mother, and in that situation you give up on what you want, and do what's expected, whether you like it or not, at least in the part of the country I grew up in....My mother lived with me for 15 years till she passed...

To sort of put things in perspective, it was about 10 years ago that my younger brother , who was very little when pops died, looked at me and said, "whether you know it or not, I always looked at you as my Dad"....So things were very very conflicted for me, to be who I knew I was, meant going against what my pops asked me to do on his death bed, which was in words, " I'm going to ask you to help take care of your mom, sis, and brother because I won't be here to do it " !!!!..... It was an internal battle that I faced for almost 30 years, till mom passed .....

Sometimes life is just playing the hand you are dealt whether you like it or not !!!!!

 

[Rafe]

Wow. So you know wherefrom you speak. lol

Yes I do !!!

 

[tampa24]

Well it wasn't so much of living a lie, as it was conforming to what was expected of me in the environment that I was raised....I knew I was gay, since I was 12....but what kept going thru my mind is, I can do this, I'll grow out of it, it's just a phase, etc....And like Peter, what was expected was a wife, a slew of kids, and yes, a house with a white picket fence...

You also have to remember that my pops died when I was 14, and I was expected to pick up the pieces, be the man of the house for my mother, and in that situation you give up on what you want, and do what's expected, whether you like it or not, at least in the part of the country I grew up in....My mother lived with me for 15 years till she passed...

To sort of put things in perspective, it was about 10 years ago that my younger brother , who was very little when pops died, looked at me and said, "whether you know it or not, I always looked at you as my Dad"....So things were very very conflicted for me, to be who I knew I was, meant going against what my pops asked me to do on his death bed, which was in words, " I'm going to ask you to help take care of your mom, sis, and brother because I won't be here to do it " !!!!..... It was an internal battle that I faced for almost 30 years, till mom passed .....

Sometimes life is just playing the hand you are dealt whether you like it or not !!!!!

I can see the obvious conflict there. Trying to live up to your dad's dying wish and your family's expectations...versus being true to yourself. Being born gay was certainly very inconvenient in the fulfillment of that role. At best!

 

[Foxyman1961]

Well it wasn't so much of living a lie, as it was conforming to what was expected of me in the environment that I was raised....I knew I was gay, since I was 12....but what kept going thru my mind is, I can do this, I'll grow out of it, it's just a phase, etc....And like Peter, what was expected was a wife, a slew of kids, and yes, a house with a white picket fence...

You also have to remember that my pops died when I was 14, and I was expected to pick up the pieces, be the man of the house for my mother, and in that situation you give up on what you want, and do what's expected, whether you like it or not, at least in the part of the country I grew up in....My mother lived with me for 15 years till she passed...

To sort of put things in perspective, it was about 10 years ago that my younger brother , who was very little when pops died, looked at me and said, "whether you know it or not, I always looked at you as my Dad"....So things were very very conflicted for me, to be who I knew I was, meant going against what my pops asked me to do on his death bed, which was in words, " I'm going to ask you to help take care of your mom, sis, and brother because I won't be here to do it " !!!!..... It was an internal battle that I faced for almost 30 years, till mom passed .....

Sometimes life is just playing the hand you are dealt whether you like it or not !!!!!

Rafe I think what you describe here is true for many men around the world but is also reflective of the times you were born. Now with in some ways a more liberal society where gay people can do almost the same as hetero people in that they can marry, have children and live in houses with white picket fence there is a more tolerant attitude to being gay. However I know that this is not true everywhere and from reading forumites and hearing models stories when they join Broke Straight Boys we still have a long way to go to be fully accepted.

 

[tampa24]

However I know that this is not true everywhere and from reading forumites and hearing models stories when they join Broke Straight Boys we still have a long way to go to be fully accepted.

Amen Foxyman,

We are in a much better place than we once were. But even in Western societies there is still more progress to be made. To paraphrase (and take out of context) a famous quote from Churchill though, it is at least "...the end of the beginning."

 

[tampa24]

I Almost Fell Out Of My Chair

I have to give praise to the Trump administration when they do something right. Here's an article with video on Fox News no less, talking about the administration's push to convince other countries around the world to decriminalize homosexuality.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/trump-administration-pushing-worldwide-decriminalization-011034756.html

 

[Jaybifla]

I have to give praise to the Trump administration when they do something right. Here's an article with video on Fox News no less, talking about the administration's push to convince other countries around the world to decriminalize homosexuality.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/trump-administration-pushing-worldwide-decriminalization-011034756.html

I guess it’s a good thing, but Imma need Pence to clean up some of his shit in America first.
I did love one of the comments left after the video...

Pence is TRUE CHRISTIAN... therefore he hopes that all sinners (like himself) whether the sin of homosexuality or whatever our sins are will TURN to JESUS in repentance for forgiveness...if we reject this only way to be forgiven for all our sins there will be punishment in the afterlife..... that's the truth... last thing GOD wants that's why He gave us a way out....choose that Way.....

I wanted to respond with.....
I have turned to Jesus and asked for forgiveness and now I’m gonna keep on sinning.

 

[Repareur]

I guess it’s a good thing, but Imma need Pence to clean up some of his shit in America first.
I did love one of the comments left after the video...

Pence is TRUE CHRISTIAN... therefore he hopes that all sinners (like himself) whether the sin of homosexuality or whatever our sins are will TURN to JESUS in repentance for forgiveness...if we reject this only way to be forgiven for all our sins there will be punishment in the afterlife..... that's the truth... last thing GOD wants that's why He gave us a way out....choose that Way.....

I wanted to respond with.....
I have turned to Jesus and asked for forgiveness and now I’m gonna keep on sinning.

Amen Jay

 

[tampa24]

I guess it’s a good thing, but Imma need Pence to clean up some of his shit in America first.
I did love one of the comments left after the video...

Pence is TRUE CHRISTIAN... therefore he hopes that all sinners (like himself) whether the sin of homosexuality or whatever our sins are will TURN to JESUS in repentance for forgiveness...if we reject this only way to be forgiven for all our sins there will be punishment in the afterlife..... that's the truth... last thing GOD wants that's why He gave us a way out....choose that Way.....

I wanted to respond with.....
I have turned to Jesus and asked for forgiveness and now I’m gonna keep on sinning.

Lmao Jay. haha

At least you're being honest and self-aware.

Being a "sinner" is baked into the plot line of being alive down here on Earth. While that doesn't mean that we should never stop striving to sin less, evolve, and do better, act better and be better...both to others and to ourselves...a certain amount of supposed "sin" is inevitable. At least at this stage of human evolution. I don't worry about any of us going to hell even though I do believe in karma. If eternal hell really exists, and it's the place where all sinners go...then it's pretty full and getting larger by the minute. By that logic, we've all been set up for failure by our own loving creator before we've even taken our first breath. And every human born here has a one-way ticket. haha

I go to church myself even though I take a dim view of organized religion on the macro level as it's practiced now. If Christian theology states that "turning to Christ", "accepting Him as your personal savior", "being saved in the blood", being a "TRUE CHRISTIAN", is the salvation from going to hell, the forgiveness of your sins, and the key to going to heaven instead...then fine. Great! Wonderful! That should be it. Period. Full stop.

But that's not how it's practiced on the ground. haha Because churches (in general) are here not only to promote and encourage good morals, clean living and altruistic non-selfish behavior...but also to make money and gain power for the institution(s) using fear, guilt and manipulation. No matter how much money you give or how faithful your attendance might be in a pew, they want to leave you guessing whether you're really going to heaven based on old sins and new ones.

Bottom line is I'm not too worried about the eternal fate of any of us. I think we're going to be fine. haha Lord knows the human race (Christian and non-Christian alike) is not going to stop sinning any time soon. haha

 

[Repareur]

There are many who've participated on this forum Rafe, both in the past and currently who were living the same lie, trying to live the ideal life, with a wife and kids and as Peter has told me he wanted the "house with the white picket fence". But at least at some point, you and the others I've known here and off the forum as well, decided that you had to be true to yourself. And I'm sure you're glad you did. It's not fair to yourselves or to your female partners.

Now me on the other hand, I always knew I liked cock from my earliest memories as a little boy. I would go to the library and discreetly looked up books on "homosexuality". Many books back then said that all boys go through that stage, but now approaching age 70, I never passed that stage.

Mikeyank I think it’s true. You won’t out grow it! Lol. I didn’t either but my best friend who started it with me at 13 did. He is married with 5 kids.

 

[Repareur]

Well I guess I will be following you, I didn't just say it, I lived it...I tried for years to be STRAIGHT, even though I knew who I was......True story, the last woman I lived with, set up a 3 way with a friend of ours, why, because she said she knew.....and another truth, this is the first time I ever told that to anyone...Including my dear friends Peter, MikeY, and Rep.....I was 38 years old at the time !!!!

Rafe, I didn’t see this. Mikeyank told me about your post so I had to find it. That is really interesting and I appreciate you telling us this. I once thought I would be in your same situation but falling in love with my first boyfriend in college and my sister outing me to them sort of took the pressure off because the cat was out of the bad and I didn’t try to put it back if I could have. I really do understand your situation though and I’m glad you posted.

My partner Mark was in a similar situation. He had a girlfriend for 10 years who told him he was gay. Set up a couple of three ways. She dabbled with girls herself so I guess that made it easier for her to be ok with the idea. He told me she even fucked him with a candle. But he wasn’t comfortable with the idea that he might be gay. He had several relationships with women. Married the same girl twice. Has a kid with two different women and genuinely likes having sex with women. Interestingly he says it’s easier to live with a man because we are like best buddies and women are different with their own perspective and expectations out of a relationship.

I would love to hear more about your situation. We are stil not in a great place we should be with being openly gay. But when you haven’t been out for 40 years like me I’m sure it’s hard. Mark only recently hasn’t seemed to mind that his high school friends know we are together. It’s mostly through face book. They haven’t said anything to him about it but he gets tagged in post with me all the time so they have to know.

 

[Jaybifla]

Bottom line is I'm not too worried about the eternal fate of any of us. I think we're going to be fine. haha Lord knows the human race (Christian and non-Christian alike) is not going to stop sinning any time soon. haha

very true. Have you ever noticed how most bibles are the "revised edition"? It's been revised and misinterpreted for years.

 

[Rafe]

Rafe, I didn’t see this. Mikeyank told me about your post so I had to find it. That is really interesting and I appreciate you telling us this. I once thought I would be in your same situation but falling in love with my first boyfriend in college and my sister outing me to them sort of took the pressure off because the cat was out of the bad and I didn’t try to put it back if I could have. I really do understand your situation though and I’m glad you posted.

My partner Mark was in a similar situation. He had a girlfriend for 10 years who told him he was gay. Set up a couple of three ways. She dabbled with girls herself so I guess that made it easier for her to be ok with the idea. He told me she even fucked him with a candle. But he wasn’t comfortable with the idea that he might be gay. He had several relationships with women. Married the same girl twice. Has a kid with two different women and genuinely likes having sex with women. Interestingly he says it’s easier to live with a man because we are like best buddies and women are different with their own perspective and expectations out of a relationship.

I would love to hear more about your situation. We are stil not in a great place we should be with being openly gay. But when you haven’t been out for 40 years like me I’m sure it’s hard. Mark only recently hasn’t seemed to mind that his high school friends know we are together. It’s mostly through face book. They haven’t said anything to him about it but he gets tagged in post with me all the time so they have to know.

Rep, I will add more to this after Christmas, tonight and tomorrow night is Christmas cleaning, lolol....Sat and Sun will be cookie and pie days, along with laundry....Have a long day at work tomorrow and Monday, We are going thru the last minute holiday rush.....literally it seems like I have been doing nothing for the prior 2 weeks, and come Monday of this week all hell broke loose.....As I always say, you just play with the cards your dealt.....and damn this week I got a shitty hand.....lolololol.....

 

[Repareur]

Rep, I will add more to this after Christmas, tonight and tomorrow night is Christmas cleaning, lolol....Sat and Sun will be cookie and pie days, along with laundry....Have a long day at work tomorrow and Monday, We are going thru the last minute holiday rush.....literally it seems like I have been doing nothing for the prior 2 weeks, and come Monday of this week all hell broke loose.....As I always say, you just play with the cards your dealt.....and damn this week I got a shitty hand.....lolololol.....

The last two weeks have been a blur to me. But I want to here more when you have a chance.

 

[tampa24]

very true. Have you ever noticed how most bibles are the "revised edition"? It's been revised and misinterpreted for years.

Oh yes. Definitely. It has been revised, re-translated and edited many times over. How close it comes to the original meanings and intents is anyone's guess.

 

[Repareur]

Oh yes. Definitely. It has been revised, re-translated and edited many times over. How close it comes to the original meanings and intents is anyone's guess.

I love it when someone quotes the Bible and says God wrote it etc. I like to say just which version did he write? King James? Revised Standard? Good news?