Hey, Mike and Johnny ~
Hugs to both of you. Mike, thank you for your letter, and (of course) I meant every word I said about you. I had a very wonderful boss, whose family were Polish refugees from the Second War, who told me, in Yiddish, that I was a "golden soul." (I could say the same about you, Mike; I am sorry I can't translate properly - I didn't learn a lot of Yiddish, growing up as a little Calvinist pig-farmer, in arctic Canada ;-)
Hang on, Johnny, I love you, too. You know, Jon has a very pointed way of expressing himself. You and I dwell in artistic realms - you do hair, and I write speeches - but you and I kind of live in this same sort of existence, Johnny. Jon is an ENGINEER, and, for people in that realm, things are kind of "black-and-white". (As they are NOT, for us.) Jon speaks out quite vocally, about any subject he feels strongly about - as do I - and his language is sometimes pretty tough. But I do not believe, that, in his heart of hearts, Jon is meaning to hurt anyone's feelings - he is just USING language in the way he was trained, to do. In sharp, black-and-white, contrasts. I wouldn't write as Jon does, Johnny, but - I am NOT Jon. I am ME.
I think Jon is a nice guy, and just gives out his impressions and ideas in a very tough and vivid way. And it seems to me that Jon observed that, when he tried to "soften" his approach for awhile, some jackass told him that he was being a "wuss". (I would like to strangle that jackass, BTW: because I appreciate and love the softer side of Jon. I know he is wickedly funny and smart, but I am loving the opportunity to get to know his gentler nature.)
I will just say, in Jon's defence - and, as you all know, he wasn't always such a great fan of MINE, or I of HIM - he expresses himself sometimes in a very direct and tough manner. SOMETIMES, there is a dry (VERY dry) English sense of humour, and playfulness, lurking behind his comments, which isn't apparent to everybody. (It is kind of akin to hitting a friend HARD, on the shoulder, in boarding-school, to show him you love him: even while you are meaning to be nice to him.)
This style of expression is foreign to most of us in North America, where we mostly "play it straight". Here, if I wanted to tell Johnny that I loved him, I would say just that, in precisely those words. If I were ENGLISH, and wanted to express precisely the same thing, I might say, "Johnny, you WANKER, you're SUCH a bloody IDIOT!" And then give him a little hard PUNCH in the SHOULDER, KNOWING he would get the subtext. (We North Americans are
BAD at subtexts, since most of us can hardly READ, to begin with! LOL!!! But British culture is full of that stuff - AND INCREDIBLY strange, and hard for us to understand, for those of us across the sea.)
So, look, guys - and this is an exercise in cross-cultural translation - I think some of you may be misunderstanding Jon, a bit. He writes in very direct, and sometimes HARSH terms (which my Scottish Great-Aunts would NOT appreciate: whenever I was rude, they would shake their fingers at me and say, "AYE, 'A', we've NO ROOM for a wee
ENGLISHMAN, in
THIS FAMILY!") But the English sense of humour is a little different, from the North American one. And, I think, sometimes when Jon is seeming hard and harsh, he's just expressing his own opinion, and waiting to see, what YOU'LL SAY BACK - and, if you PUNCH HIM BACK, with a LAUGH - he'll understand that, and respect and love you, for having the courage of your convictions.
It is kind of a North American thing, that we feel like we have to be treacly-sweet ALL the time: as if every sentence we spoke were our LAST SENTENCE, from our death-bed. The English tradition is much different, and allows for (and EXPECTS) that there will be MUCH, MUCH playful poking-in-the-eye, and cuffs about the ears, and jolly INSULTS of ALL KINDS - even while a great mutual love and respect is preserved, UNDERNEATH.
These are very different modes of self-expression. As Canadians, though, we sort of get exposed to both of them - as people from the U.S. don't necessarily, always.
So. . . this was kind of a controversial subject, and lots of people have strong feelings about it. I think most of us have said what we have to say, and I hope most of us can move on from it, now.
And, for those who are mad at Jon, for posing his opinions in such a tough and highly-charged fashion: well, I think that's just Jon. He expresses himself VIVIDLY, that's for sure. But, if you disagree with Jon, and hit him back hard (with YOUR POINTS), and tell him a JOKE, he'll always respect you for standing up for yourself, I think. I DON'T think, Johnny, that Jon is mean at heart ~ I just think he is just schooled in a "bare-knuckles" kind of conversation, and, while he gives it out, TOUGH, he can take it BACK, too: if you disagree with him, and have something to say. And have the courage to have a laugh, with him.
Guys, when I started out on this board, I didn't like Jon at all. In fact, I think I maybe HATED him, for an hour or two. I just didn't GET the way he expresses himself, which (at least on big, controversial subjects) is sometimes alien, and anathema, to a lot of Americans, AND Canadians. To employ a trite little "Briticism": Jon takes the piss out of EVERYBODY." But what most people DON'T realize is: Jon doesn't mind if YOU TAKE the PISS OUT OF HIM, TOO. He will laugh, and thank you for it. He has just grown up in a more rugged, and angular, conversational culture, than most of us have.
That's it, that's all, I need a drink, and a few moments to go whack off to a classic
Jason Matthews video. But, let's live and love each other in peace and harmony, everyone. If it doesn't help US, it will at least sell some
Coca-Cola.
"A" XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
P.S. We're from all races and religions. We come from all nations, continents, and regions. And we all want to suck cute guys' cocks,
really, really, badly. . . . And I guess that makes us a perfect, United Nations of love, and desire. (Except,
FIZZIER ;-)