Tampa my man! And for everyone else... I have the coveted speech for you here tonight. everything in parenthesis is just me explaining parts of the speech for you guys so you understand why it's there. Have fun.
I’m going to be honest with you guys, I am, quite nervous. I’ve actually never really preformed in front of anybody before, or for that matter been on stage… ever.
(I was in the theater dept. for all four years of high school, was on the improv comedy team, and hosted many theater events.)
(I reach under my gown to grab my phone out of my back pocket and pretend to answer it.)
Hello? What’s up? Why are you calling me? No no, I’m just doing my speech… Oh yeah I’d love to! Who’s all going? M’kay, that’s awesome. Yeah no, let me just finish up here and I’ll get back to you… bro. Okay, alright, love you, kisses.
(I hang up the phone and put it back in my pocket.)
Okay, where was I? Ah yes. I’d like to… I’d like to say something…something I prepared…tonight… Hello, how bout that walk up on stage? I'm sure sweating. Hahahaha. You guys may not know this, but I consider myself…a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But last year, when Jacob Gomez was assigned to stay in the same cabin as myself for outdoor lab, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack, it grew by one. So were two…so there were two of us in the pack. I…I was alone first in the pack, and then Jacob joined in later. And over the past year with being a part of Mixed Nuts and co-hosting Mr. and Mrs. HighSchool, and getting to be friends with all of you, I thought…wait a second, could it be? And now I know for sure, I have added 322 guys and girls to my wolf pack. 324 of us wolves, running around together, in the swamp, looking for close vacant parking spots and balconies to climb on top of. So tonight, I make a toast!
(I pull out a can of Coke-A-Cola from my pocket and crack it open, take a sip, pause, take another sip and then say,)
Tonight’s graduation speeches are brought to you by Coke-A-Cola! Coke-A-Cola, open happiness.
(This was funny for many reasons. Reason 1: I LOVE coke! Reason 2: Our school district isn’t sponsored by Coke, they are sponsored by Pepsi.)
So when we first walked into the halls of high school, it was a new start with new friends and new classes. We thought it would be fun and joyous our first year… but boy were we wrong. I could never find any of my classes, my locker wouldn’t open to save my life, and my English class turned out to have some weird teacher by day, and a professional yo-yoer by night. It was crazy! My sophomore year wasn’t any better; that was the year I cut my hair into that weird horn that lead to the nickname, Jimmy Neutron… jokes on you! I'm not that smart! Ha! Junior year I couldn’t get enough of telling everyone I was a lifeguard, and I think that was the year that Connor Filben finally lost all the baby fat in his face. And this year… this year I got way into photography. And photography has opened my mind into seeing the world around me in a very unique way. I was given the opportunity to share with all of you just exactly how I see my world, through the High School Foundation art show, and through this year’s yearbook. The senior section is filled with funny photos of all of us being apart of our amazing wolf pack. Oh… side note, Mr. Principle,
(I turn back to face him while still speaking into the microphone.)
a toga is a long sheet of fabric that is draped over the shoulder and tied at the waist; notice how I said shoulder and not shoulders. Because if you mean to tell me that my toga has to cover both shoulders, then by all means I’m standing in front of hundreds of audience members here tonight, in my cap, and toga!
(That year was the year they stopped allowing togas to only cover one shoulder. We all hated that decision obviously, because what’s wrong with having an exposed shoulder?)
This year we made so many new friends, friends we never thought we would ever talk to. And that just goes to show how open this school is, I’ve never know of any other school that is as accepting of others as our own. We went through some pretty rough times this year, but we stuck together, and were there for each other when we needed a shoulder to cry on. Even after tonight, after the summer is over, after college, I will be proud to have been a Wild Cat, we all will, to have walked through those halls and been a part of the best student body our school district has ever seen.
And with that said, parents, friends, and family of our wolf pack sitting in the stadium tonight, the dictionary defines the word superlative as; of the highest kind, quality or order, surpassing all else or others, supreme. I define it as all of your amazing sons and daughters and brothers and sisters sitting here tonight. As high school graduates, leaders, human beings, and as friends, they are of the highest kind, quality and order, supreme.
) was because I am a fan of reality, way more than of fiction, and I am fascinated by the concept of a typical All American High School kid such as yourself less than a year ago, who lived at home with your family, living the straight lifestyle, being a jock on the swim team, undoubtedly dating the pretty girls in school, as you are very handsome guy with a great athletic body, now starring in gay porn scenes on an internet site.
That was a very good introduction. At times I had to keep reminding myself how old you were. You do carry yourself and speak with a maturity that usually takes your peers a few more years to achieve. I can see why all the people at the 
