joninliverton
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My best friend's mother passed away this morning, she had a long fight with cancer.
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Goodbye Cruel World
- Thread starter joninliverton
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mikeyank
Long time forumite
I am very sorry to learn of her passing, Jon. May she rest in peace.
joninliverton
BSB Addict
Indeed. My friend has kept a lot to himself, so hopefully in time the pain will get less and less.
Beth
BSB Addict
Sending him good thoughts. Cancer is a horrible disease that takes a toll on everyone.
peterh6308
BSB Addict
My prayers to your friend and his family.
louis33705
BSB Addict
So sorry to hear, Jon. Yes, in time the pain will gradually subside, but the memories of her life will always live on. I pray for comfort for your friend, your friend's family and for you.
Peace,
Louis
Peace,
Louis
joninliverton
BSB Addict
Thanks people. xxx
juanjo
BSB Addict
I am sorry to hear of this Jon. I took care of my father when he died of cancer a couple years ago. It is not easy and your friend needs lots of support and compassion.
joninliverton
BSB Addict
Thanks J. Yes my own father died 4 years ago of the dreaded cancer so I know what he's going through. I just wish he would have been more open with me though, but I guess different people react differently.
johnny
BSB Addict
Dear jon
Sorry for you and your friend. Been through it a few times. And sometimes no matter how close you are to someone you feel you don't want to burden anyone.
It also makes it so much more real. Now is the time he will need you more than ever. Just be there for him, let him know you Love him. Let it sink in. He will come around. Just be his friend.
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joeychuck2
BSB Addict
Death is part of life. As we get older we experience it more. It's always painful. I hope you and your friend get to accept it and move on in your lives.
betudidntknow
BSB Addict
I echo the sentiments of both comments Jon. The loss of someone affects us all differently, no matter what our station in life. There is no one formula that works best for everyone. I will say from experience....the passage of time does eventually help us through it!
Ambivalent
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Hugs, Jon.
This kind of thing is always very tough. Some people will lean on your shoulder, and cry it all out very soon after - which is normal, healthy, and OK. Others will keep everything totally close to the vest, and try to hold it all in - either because they are ashamed to share those emotions, or because they are afraid, or because they simply don't have the emotional vocabulary to confide even in a trusted friend.
I have discovered, in my own experiences with grief and loss (my beloved Mother did when she was only five years older than I am, now) as human animals, while we have a great intellectual capacity, and we might very well know that the end is coming for someone we love - - - that sort of loss is never something that anyone can fully prepare for. It is a wrenching, and awful, PHYSICAL, exigency.
All I can say, in this circumstance, is that your friend (despite the tragedy he has experienced) has YOU - to love and care about him. The office of a best friend, in these sorts of moments, is parlous and delicate, and calls for at once the greatest tact, and responsiveness. Just by being there, you are helping him. And, of course you are always ready to listen, and comfort, as the good friend you are. And no doubt that day will come.
In the meantime, my counsel is: and I have no doubt this is all purely instinctive to you, because it is who you are - - - just treat him AS your friend, as you always have - so that he knows that (at least) this important part of his life (your steadfast friendship for him) has not changed. If he one day wants and needs to open his heart to you, you will be ready to help him. If he is a shy and reserved person, he might never want (or feel able to avail himself of) such a full and dramatic expression of feeling.
BUT, Jon, rest assured, you are helping to heal him (very slowly, and very gradually) just by being his constant and caring friend. And simply by being there. It is the office of an angel, but, one which you are well-equipped, to perform. Because you know how he feels; and you are a lovely, and tender, man, in your own right.
Love, your friend,
"A" XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
P.S. Like everyone here, I also offer prayers and love, for your best friend.
*"Pavane", Gabriel Faure. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEh61naJsv8
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joninliverton
BSB Addict
My friend's mother was buried on Thursday. He texted me saying that she got a good send off and that he will back at work this coming Monday. It's been a bad few weeks with workmates: this week another friend's father had a stroke and he had to take a few days off too.
Ambivalent
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Very sorry to hear this, Jon. Your friends are fortunate to have you to care about them.
Love,
"A" XOXOXOXOXOXO
joninliverton
BSB Addict
Well they were equally as supportive when my dad passed away.
nsreed
Well-known Member
Jon
Very sorry to hear of your friends mother. I am glad I had friends like you when my mom passed!
Very sorry to hear of your friends mother. I am glad I had friends like you when my mom passed!
