Funny Sexual Awareness Story....

[mikeyank]

Thanks for sharing!

A friend and I were talking about this thread and started comparing our "figuring things out" stories. I promised I would share this story, that he found so amusing.

I was very innocent and sheltered(watched) as a kid. I had had the "sex" talk, but it was just about intercourse.

When I went to junior high school, at the age of 12, we had locker rooms and showers for p.e. for the first time. Up to this point my "boyfriend" action had consisted of hand holding and innocent kisses. After a couple weeks of listening to the older girls talking about boyfriends, I came home perplexed about what I was hearing.

My mother knew I was "off kilter" so she asked what was bothering me. I finally got brave and told her that the stuff the older girls were saying about what they do with boys didn't make sense to me. She asked me to be more specific, and I told her I didn't understand what part of sex needed a "blowdryer."

She laughed, and explained what a "blow job" was. My mouth dropped open, before I said "They put THAT, in your mouth! They pee out of that, GROSS, I'm never putting one of those, in my mouth!"

She laughed again, and told me one day I would think differently.

Thank you Ms. K. That was hilarious, and I'm glad your mother corrected you, before your next date with your young boy friend. She saved him, before in an intimate moment, where you decided to progress from "innocent kisses" to something more serious, and used your blow dryer on the poor lad. Ouch.

But your mom was really cool telling you that you would feel differently in a few years about blowjobs. And I imagine she was correct.

Great post. Thank you so much for brightening my morning with your story.

 

[cumrag27]

Bow-wow! Bow-wow!

Cumrag, just a minor correction my friend was in the Scouts. I was not. OK, not until I became a Marine. LOL... . I raised myself and my brother from the time I was 8. Both of my parents worked. In those days many of my friends families did the same thing. We live in a mountainous region of the country. So, we would do our chores and hook up at the river for swimming and fun or at one of our club houses in the woods.

I can relate to a man in a uniform too.

Thank you for letting me share... You really do have some great stories to tell on here too.

Dear Jayman01,

Maybe I am being overly clairvoyant but do I detect frequent if under reported instances of skinny dipping tales whether in the scouts or the marines. There is nothing like male-on-male bonding. Frankly, I can't seem to get enough of it and in any guise and with almost any guys. If so, please honor us all with some of your most intimate memories and lurid details.

I'm squatting on my front paws and tail awagging with my fullest attention. Come on with the details...lets play for a little while anyway! I promise not to bite your cuffs!

 

[Jayman01]

Dear Jayman01,

Maybe I am being overly clairvoyant but do I detect frequent if under reported instances of skinny dipping tales whether in the scouts or the marines. There is nothing like male-on-male bonding. Frankly, I can't seem to get enough of it and in any guise and with almost any guys. If so, please honor us all with some of your most intimate memories and lurid details.

I'm squatting on my front paws and tail awagging with my fullest attention. Come on with the details...lets play for a little while anyway! I promise not to bite your cuffs!

I am not trying to snow ball you here. However, I have recanted several fond memories on many of these threads. I have a lot going on the next few days. I may need to leave you to the site search engines for now. Although, I will need to tell the story about how I finally worked up the nerve to hit on another Marine in my room from another unit who was even more scared than I was. I wasn't thinking and my badge was on the desk in plain view. That was basically my coming out and the experience was Hot!!! I don't really have the time to recant the story right now and give it the time and attention it deserves. If you search the threads you will find the story. Good luck. I don't even remember what thread it is on. It may have even been a thread that was deleted by a member or two in the past. However, I am pretty certain it is still out there somewhere. My understanding is there are about 4,000 threads to choose from...

 

[slimvintage]

A friend and I were talking about this thread and started comparing our "figuring things out" stories. I promised I would share this story, that he found so amusing.

I was very innocent and sheltered(watched) as a kid. I had had the "sex" talk, but it was just about intercourse.

When I went to junior high school, at the age of 12, we had locker rooms and showers for p.e. for the first time. Up to this point my "boyfriend" action had consisted of hand holding and innocent kisses. After a couple weeks of listening to the older girls talking about boyfriends, I came home perplexed about what I was hearing.

My mother knew I was "off kilter" so she asked what was bothering me. I finally got brave and told her that the stuff the older girls were saying about what they do with boys didn't make sense to me. She asked me to be more specific, and I told her I didn't understand what part of sex needed a "blowdryer."

She laughed, and explained what a "blow job" was. My mouth dropped open, before I said "They put THAT, in your mouth! They pee out of that, GROSS, I'm never putting one of those, in my mouth!"

She laughed again, and told me one day I would think differently.

Your Ma deserves a round of applause for defusing. It's great when a parent watches over you, even shelters you, but at the same time is up front enough to talk in the vernacular and make the whole mammalian sex thing seem natural.

I'll never forget telling a certain 10 year old just the bare bones of how the reproductive plumbing works, in the very chattiest and least embarrassed way poss. She listened wide eyed till I'd finished. After three or four seconds of reflection she shook her head and said, "You have GOT to be joking."

 

[underwear fun]

blow job

She laughed, and explained what a "blow job" was. My mouth dropped open, before I said "They put THAT, in your mouth! They pee out of that, GROSS, I'm never putting one of those, in my mouth!"

She laughed again, and told me one day I would think differently.

Ms. K.......please tell us the ending.......did your ever actually think differently???

Undie

 

[Ms. Kianna]

Ms. K.......please tell us the ending.......did your ever actually think differently???

Undie

Yes, I eventually thought very differently, but not when I was 12. It took a few years, before I liked a boy THAT much.

 

[SGVBOB]

Ms K.... I have to give a "thumbsup" to you for opening up like that and sharing, it was a cute story! <hugs!>

A friend and I were talking about this thread and started comparing our "figuring things out" stories. I promised I would share this story, that he found so amusing.

I was very innocent and sheltered(watched) as a kid. I had had the "sex" talk, but it was just about intercourse.

When I went to junior high school, at the age of 12, we had locker rooms and showers for p.e. for the first time. Up to this point my "boyfriend" action had consisted of hand holding and innocent kisses. After a couple weeks of listening to the older girls talking about boyfriends, I came home perplexed about what I was hearing.

My mother knew I was "off kilter" so she asked what was bothering me. I finally got brave and told her that the stuff the older girls were saying about what they do with boys didn't make sense to me. She asked me to be more specific, and I told her I didn't understand what part of sex needed a "blowdryer."

She laughed, and explained what a "blow job" was. My mouth dropped open, before I said "They put THAT, in your mouth! They pee out of that, GROSS, I'm never putting one of those, in my mouth!"

She laughed again, and told me one day I would think differently.

 

[underwear fun]

Bollocks

Dear Undie,

Pray tell, not trying to be overly personal but, what ever happened to your dropping balls? Tell us, Dear Undie, what ever happened in the interim to your fondly held and played with twins? We're all dying to know and hoping for a happy and successful reunification, like in Germany! The "Suspense" is really killing me, no us!

P.S. For the article, we need a picture of the injured parties and any coming home celebrations, as well. Thanks!

Dear Stimpy

Let me start with a disappointment. I am not posting a picture of my bollocks on the forum. That would be far too familiar.

Ok then. My balls are not low riders but when the weather is warm they do still like to hang down.....down under so to speak. Unfortunatley, I'm cursed with large testicles. Don't get me wrong I like my balls, but sometimes I just envy women who don't have to put up with a pair of balls dangling between their legs.

I think its because my large testicle size that I cum alot. More still, I actually come far. Actually, I remember one morning chatting with an ex-bf in his bed and he looked up and noticed a mark on the wall from the way the morning light was shining through the window. He leaned up and said that I had shot cum on the wall through the metal bedhead. We both looked closer and realised there was actually a lot of my cum sprayed from several sessions on the wall. I was really embarassed. He laughed his head off....then went quiet. I ask what? He said he was wondering if anyone else had seen the marks on the wall.

I do like lying back and getting hand jobs from new guys and seeing the look on their face when I start shooting loads of cum and they don't know which way to point my cock. Really funny, really.

Report that!
Undie

 

[cumrag27]

Oversided and flotation devices too

Dear Stimpy

Let me start with a disappointment. I am not posting a picture of my bollocks on the forum. That would be far too familiar.

Ok then. My balls are not low riders but when the weather is warm they do still like to hang down.....down under so to speak. Unfortunatley, I'm cursed with large testicles. Don't get me wrong I like my balls, but sometimes I just envy women who don't have to put up with a pair of balls dangling between their legs.

I think its because my large testicle size that I cum alot. More still, I actually come far. Actually, I remember one morning chatting with an ex-bf in his bed and he looked up and noticed a mark on the wall from the way the morning light was shining through the window. He leaned up and said that I had shot cum on the wall through the metal bedhead. We both looked closer and realised there was actually a lot of my cum sprayed from several sessions on the wall. I was really embarassed. He laughed his head off....then went quiet. I ask what? He said he was wondering if anyone else had seen the marks on the wall.

I do like lying back and getting hand jobs from new guys and seeing the look on their face when I start shooting loads of cum and they don't know which way to point my cock. Really funny, really.

Report that!
Undie

Dear Ever-so Forthright Undie,

I am real happy to hear from you again. I am more than satisfied that the "suspense" created by the wait from your brief absence has allowed you to "save up", as it were, a deluge of interesting personal information making me almost blush in my relentless pursuit of encouraging you to turn the other cheeks on your beautiful avatar.

Actually taking your last post into full consideration, I'm beginning to wonder if you haven't already turned your cheeks and those boulder sized balls you proudly referenced were understandably mistaken for your pristine buns. Every coin has a flip side and I think maybe we were already been flipped unknowingly. No one is to blame but myself for my lack of attention.

Having power-packed balls and an equally power-packed cumshot for distance probably means that your bf's have been the lucky recipients of your earth moving meteor showers. I so envy them as I too have received similarly propelled meteor showers from my low-hanging ex of 17 years in the distant but not forgotten past. His molton cumshots filling my mouth were at nothing less than warp speed and power, making a sensation not unlike the firing of a multi-warhead rocket, and their indelible marks left in my accepting mouth is something I will always treasure.

In a way, I guess I owe you, Undie, an apology ever doubting your accoutrements, whether inherited or from the M&M parts bin. I am gratified and relieved now knowing they are much more than mere M&M with peanuts sized and matching in color as well. Sometimes in their haste, medical personnel fail to fully appreciate the testicular aesthetic and mess up the essentially symmetrical importance that only matching colors can contribute.

As it is now late, I will bid you and your two possibly hairy big pals good night and don't let the bed bugs bite them gorgeous plums. Perhaps you need to develop a personalized Hand-Job Handbook for your future rubdowns. You are right that the facial expressions of those uninitiated must be some site to behold. Enjoy these cumrag-free humorous moments with my blessings!