Dave, This Cupcake's For You

[GreatLakes2]

OK, since no one is reading this anyway, I will keep going with more episode outlines for my new series based (loosely) on the life of favorite director, David.

- Dave's brother, Alan, is thrown out by his wife. Alan shows up at his brother's house in the middle of the night and asks to stay. Alan's wife, Judith, drops off her 10 year old son, Jake at David's ocean front house and declares she may be gay. Add a heavy sarcastic housekeeper and hilarity ensues. What? That's been done? Really? Damn.

 

[GreatLakes2]

- Sophie and Sylvia take a computer course at the learning annex. Eager to try out their new skills, they log on to the laptop that Dave forgot to bring to work. Remembering that Dave is a major fan of cream-pies, they start seaching the inter-google for a recipe. Dave returns home just in time to stop them. Whew. In the mean time, the ladie become addicted to e-Bay and start selling everything they can find around the house. Dave finds out that the sheets that were going to the charity auction had been sold off to a person in Atlanta. Road trip! Turns out that the person was a guy in college living in a dorm. All's well that end's well and Dave ends up with a months worth of epsiodes from the dorm and all the stained sheets he can use.

 

[tucsonjayce]

More titles

Possible titles:

Hot Balls of Matzoh

Moons Over Miami

Don't Look So Enthused To Be Here (in the first episode we learn that David uses that line so often because it is what his mother says to him everytime he visits her.)

Ma, You Wouldn't Understand

My Son, The Director


If not a TV series, we could prolly do some paperback novels. But I was hoping for TV; I always wanted to see porn with a laugh track.

Schwantzsong trilogy

Schwantzville

Phallus

Mohel-land Drive

Goyem in Boyland

Toys for Goys

Golden Goys

Meschugana (Sp?) Place

Keep it all in the family

OK Enough already and I'm reading this thread. You guys kill me........


Yours,

Jayce

 

[raysvq]

OK, since no one is reading this anyway, I will keep going with more episode outlines for my new series based (loosely) on the life of favorite director, David.

- Dave's brother, Alan, is thrown out by his wife. Alan shows up at his brother's house in the middle of the night and asks to stay. Alan's wife, Judith, drops off her 10 year old son, Jake at David's ocean front house and declares she may be gay. Add a heavy sarcastic housekeeper and hilarity ensues. What? That's been done? Really? Damn.

I am enjoying this documentry - I wait with baited breath for each new episode

 

[GreatLakes2]

Episode 9, Don't Look So Enthused to Be Here: "I Spent My Vacation with Seamen."
Sophie enters a contest for grandparents and wins a 'Three Generation Caribbean cruise. She talks Davey into coming along and Sophie buys matching mother-son muumuus.
Slight problem: she has to bring a grandchild on the cruise or forfeit the prize. Not having a grandchild, Sophie announces that her apartment is being fogged for termites and since they can't go on the cruise she is coming to stay with her Davey.
Next scene shows David on the phone with Tyler using his master negotiator voice. "OK, I'll give you $1500, but you really got to give me a good show as a grandson." Tyler gets him to $1800 if he has to kiss her.

Once aboard the ship, people keep asking Tyler if he is seasick since he looks so pale. And Sophie won't leave the casino. Dave and Tyler, bored, go exploring and discover that Broke Straight Cruise Crew boys will do amazing things for less than $100 dollars. The boys spend the rest of the cruise on the lower decks filming new episodes.

Returning to the mainland, everyone back at the studio asks Tyler how he could spend a week in the Caribbean and still look so pale. Dave and Tyler share a wink and cut to the closing scene with Dave and Sophie eating cheesecake with Tyler. "Eat bubala, you are too skinny."

 

[GreatLakes2]

Episode 10, Don't Look So Enthused to Be Here: "Broke Straight Grandsons"

Sophie decides that she liked being able to show Tyler off as her grandson. To keep peace in the house, David continues to pay Tyler to act as the doting Jewish grandson.
After a few luncheons and a trip to the synagogue, Tyler is ready to throw in the towel. "Dave, I'll bottom for Casey for you, but I can't take another bunch of old ladies complaining about their chicken salad sandwich being tough. It is not worth the money."
"OK, but for the money you got, you need to tell her goodbye."
Tyler walks into the kitchen where Sophie is doing her scratch-off lottery tickets. Just as Ty opens his mouth, Sophie screams realizing that she won $100,000. "And the first thing I am going to do is buy my grandson that classic car you have had your eye on."
"Oh Grandma, I love you!" Cut to commercial.

We return to see Tyler in a new wardrobe and new haircut, driving Sophie around town. Montage shot of shopping, eating, bingo,Tyler waiting for Sophie at the beauty parlor.

David is getting frustrated because he can't get his star model to make movies. "David, Sophie would not want her grandson doing gay porn." "She doesn't HAVE a grandson." "Really? Well she says she has no son. Would it kill you to call her once in a while? Sylvia's son calls his mother every day."
Show David pounding his head against the wall.

 

[GreatLakes2]

"From the network that brought you Weeds, Dexter, and The L Word, Showtime presents an all new original series, Don't Look So Enthused To Be Here.

Starring Philip Seymour Hoffman as David, a south Florida gay porn director struggling to keep his sanity from day to day. Rhea Perlman plays his mother, Sophie. Brad Garrett is Dave's brother, the attorney. Known as 'the good son' until he married his very non-Jewish wife, Jessica Simpson. Tyler Evans is David's most popular model and meal ticket. And the cast is rounded out by Dave's much needed therapist, Jane Lynch.

Look for 'Don't Look' Sundays at nine exclusively on Showtime."

 

[Markymark]

Ok, I knew this being a closet catholic for an evening wasn't gonna work (notice the bad english from the english teacher! LOL) I go to be with mommy for two hours, and this thread goes beserk.! I even had dinner with carl, and still, OI VEY! OK guys, is this what I can expect while I'm in the city? (SF) on the 27th? If so, I may have to cancel. I obviously need to be here to guide this thing, I mean, c'mon, you missed the best plot line of all!!! While on the boat, Tyler takes a break from filming the Broke Straight Cabin Crew Boys. He goes up to Sophie's cabin only to find her trying to corner Dustin, with a huge Dildo in her upraised hand. Having stowed away on the cruise, Dustin had hoped to get back into Broke Straight Boys by talking to Davey, but entered the wrong cabin. Tyler must intervene to protect Dustin, but makes the deal that he FINALLY gets to top his old nemesis!

 

[GreatLakes2]

Ok, I knew this being a closet catholic for an evening wasn't gonna work (notice the bad english from the english teacher! LOL) I go to be with mommy for two hours, and this thread goes beserk.! I even had dinner with carl, and still, OI VEY! OK guys, is this what I can expect while I'm in the city? (SF) on the 27th? If so, I may have to cancel. I obviously need to be hre to guide this thing, I mean, c'mon, you missed the bestplot line of all!!! While on the boat, Tyler takes a break from filming the Broke Straight Cabin Crew Boys. He goes up to Sophie's cabin only to find her trying to corner Dustin, with a huge Dildo in her upraised hand. Having stowed away on the cruise, Dustin had hoped to get back into Broke Straight Boys by talking to Davey, but entered the wrong cabin. Tyler must intervene to protect Dustin, but makes the deal that he FINALLY gets to top his old nemesis!

I think Dustin lost his SAG card when he himsellf started to sag.

Beserk? I am have been more or less been writing to myself. How beserk can I get? Did we already forget our banned brothers and what truly beserk was?

You shall be safe in the city. I just need three more scripts penned for a full season so I can shop this thing around.

And you know the sad part? Far worse concepts have actually made it on the air. I think this thing has legs.

 

[slimvintage]

"From the network that brought you Weeds, Dexter, and The L Word, Showtime presents an all new original series, Don't Look So Enthused To Be Here.

Starring Philip Seymour Hoffman as David, a south Florida gay porn director struggling to keep his sanity from day to day. Rhea Perlman plays his mother, Sophie. Brad Garrett is Dave's brother, the attorney. Known as 'the good son' until he married his very non-Jewish wife, Jessica Simpson. Tyler Evans is David's most popular model and meal ticket. And the cast is rounded out by Dave's much needed therapist, Jane Lynch.

Look for 'Don't Look' Sundays at nine exclusively on Showtime."

Yes, yes, but who plays Tyler Evans? Zac Efron? Kevin Zeggers? Actually since "Tyler Evans" isn't his real name, he could play the role himself. What do you guys think his real name is? Doyle Baumgartner? Jeromy Bellis? Mitchell Drew?

 

[tampa24]

MarkyMark and GL, You guys are too funny!

 

[Jayman01]

Possible titles:

Hot Balls of Matzoh

Moons Over Miami

Don't Look So Enthused To Be Here (in the first episode we learn that David uses that line so often because it is what his mother says to him everytime he visits her.)

Ma, You Wouldn't Understand

My Son, The Director


If not a TV series, we could prolly do some paperback novels. But I was hoping for TV; I always wanted to see porn with a laugh track.

How about "Funny Boy"

 

[tampa24]

Famous Davidisms

Hey Guys,

The following came out of a PM exchange between Jayman and I. Jayman (Bless his heart) liked it so much that he thought it worthy of sharing with you. Jayman was saying how he had recently gone to a wedding in his family on the bride's side. A young couple I'm sure. One highlight of the evening for him was at the reception.

Jayman writes: "Two of the groom's men were pretending they were gay. Hey, the best part was when they danced together and groped each other's asses. Nobody could talk them into kissing though... Where is David when you need him?"

I wrote:

Yeah you could have used David there.

"It's cool. I tell you what guys. I'll give you 50 bucks if you'll kiss. You don't have to slip each other the tongue or anything. How about that? Are you cool with $50? No. Well how about $100 apiece? Could you both use $100? Okay, great. That's cool... Oh that looks really hot guys. Tell you what. To make things a little more interesting I'll throw in another $100 if you will grind your dicks together on the dance floor. No? Hey, it's no big deal. Okay... How much would it take? What's that? For $300 you would do it? Great... I've got an idea. How about if I offer you $500 apiece if you'd hump each other, grope each other's butts and kiss with tongue? Come on. It's no big deal. Just pretend it's a girl. This will only be for my personal collection. Nobody outside this hall will EVER see this. Yes? Cool!! Okay, go ahead and get started. But for $500 I want to see a real good show!" LOL

That's a show that would give the whole family something to talk about for years to come.

 

[GreatLakes2]

Hey Guys,


I wrote:

Yeah you could have used David there.

"It's cool. I tell you what guys. I'll give you 50 bucks if you'll kiss. You don't have to slip each other the tongue or anything. How about that? Are you cool with $50? No. Well how about $100 apiece? Could you both use $100? Okay, great. That's cool... Oh that looks really hot guys. Tell you what. To make things a little more interesting I'll throw in another $100 if you will grind your dicks together on the dance floor. No? Hey, it's no big deal. Okay... How much would it take? What's that? For $300 you would do it? Great... I've got an idea. How about if I offer you $500 apiece if you'd hump each other, grope each other's butts and kiss with tongue? Come on. It's no big deal. Just pretend it's a girl. This will only be for my personal collection. Nobody outside this hall will EVER see this. Yes? Cool!! Okay, go ahead and get started. But for $500 I want to see a real good show!" LOL

Bravo. You nailed that. That is the one constant in the Broke Straight Boys episodes: The David Dialogue. Futons will come and go, but we will always have our David. Rock on!

But serioulsy Tam, if Showtime picks up my series idea, I will hire you to write the dialogue.

 

[slimvintage]

But serioulsy Tam, if Showtime picks up my series idea, I will hire you to write the dialogue.

Is "seriously" rhetorical here? It's such a terrific idea that you should really try for a pilot.

Dave's surname is Anderson not Adler. Would a scandinavian milieu produce the same hilarity as a semitic one? Maybe a sort of Great Lake Woebegone gone gay, with hot bachelor farmers.

 

[dande01]

This is way to funny...I love it...LOL

 

[dande01]

Oh!! and just for the record...Eddie and I along with another Jewish adult studio owner (which will remain nameless) will be going to see "Fiddler on the Roof" in the next few weeks starring Topal...I can't wait!

 

[slimvintage]

Oh!! and just for the record...Eddie and I along with another Jewish adult studio owner (which will remain nameless) will be going to see "Fiddler on the Roof" in the next few weeks starring Topal...I can't wait!

Now you're making stuff up yourself.

 

[tampa24]

But serioulsy Tam, if Showtime picks up my series idea, I will hire you to write the dialogue.

I'd love to. But willl it cut too deeply into my forum addiction time? LOL

 

[tucsonjayce]

New series title

Oh!! and just for the record...Eddie and I along with another Jewish adult studio owner (which will remain nameless) will be going to see "Fiddler on the Roof" in the next few weeks starring Topal...I can't wait!

Diddler on the Roof?

Jayce