Although I have voted, I still have a big unfilled hole
What is your opinion of Braden?
Keep in mind the following:
- Options 1-3 are considered disapproval of him (NOT favorable).
- Option 4 is dead average, you neither like nor dislike Braden.
- Options 5-7 are approval of Braden (favorable).
Don't forget to vote! Feel free to comment as well, but commenting only without voting does not include your vote in the overall result.
Dear Abe,
I realize that his sausage may be very tantalizing and delicious to some at first sight, it is just when you add in his one-speed only robotic pelvic thrusts and his robotic conversations that you begin to feel maybe he has one too many computer chips to make the
Broke Straight Boys member's cut. I have a fully grown and fully wrinkled blood hound that has more exciting expression on his face than Braden - even with his hollowed out stump with a piss slot at the end. People frequently mention how arrogant MikeR was once his ego got out of check. Well, MikeR is going to look pretty tame when this cracker becomes more impressed with his manly looks. I love manly men tempered with human compassion and selflessness to the point they show some humility giving them much needed and a more honest perspective on life.
Braden has no redeeming quality I can see, irrespective of his jumbo wiener. It just goes to prove the old adage that
"you can not make a silk purse out of a pig's ear." Braden reminds me of the
Sesame Street Muppet and diva in two vital ways. First of all, his nose resembles Ms. Piggy's and because this was defined at conception,
I don't hold that against him. Secondly, just like Ms. Piggy or any diva for that matter, Braden will only do a "few of the things actually required of all Broke Straight Boys model . The balance not completed becomes the reassigned duties added to co-workers/models to fill in for those duties he slacks off. Huum, slack...huum maybe slackard? That is it. A good descriptor for Braden. After all as a straight boy he has his standards. Certain things like putting some honest effort into his sucking dick, well that's simply beneath him (like only continuous slurping on a dick more that 5 seconds or there abouts) cause he claims to be "straight"- of all things!
Braden's robotic, if not temperamental, dick is only good for a very few tortured thrusts for the bottom before loosing its magic juice. They make a "Fleshjack" with endurance enhancing properties specifically designed for Braden and his ilk with performance problems. He would be well advised to probe, and probe, and probe some more his much needed Flesh Jack until he gets his "straight act" honestly straight and "de-wimpified"! It still would be robotic due to his core nature but, at least his spewing too soon would hopefully get under control.
Though I know not Braden in any "biblical-sense" as God is my witness, even so he leaves a permanent bad taste in my normally cum-loving pie hole and my noodle is totally lump to boot. As for his frequently mentioned massive dick, if it's so very impressive, THEN LET IT SPEAK FOR ITSELF! I honestly cannot say as a life-long dick lover/crotch watcher, that I am even interested enough to make note of his veiny stump! I'd rather watch another stump like the Obama haters listed below: Rush Limbaugh or Ann Coulter or even His holiness the new and improved Glenn Beck spewing all his Christian/Mormon hatred for Obama just like what you'd expect from some hate-filled Muslim zealot. Don't get me wrong, I support Obama most of the time although his commitment to gay issues could be greatly improved! These Obama haters mentioned above, however, fall in the same "hopeless category" just like Braden, but for totally different reasons.