Bottoming: Does It Hurt?

[swm89]

Hey Everyone,
I had been thinking about starting a post like this for a while and then it seemed others had this question too.

Quick background info, in case anyone doesn't know what bottoming means that is where you are the person getting fucked.

So I extend this question to all who wish to answer in whatever capacity they feel comfortable.

Have you bottomed before?
Does bottoming hurt for you?
Do you think it hurts in general?

I would love to hear people’s responses as I am going to respond myself.

So please all share your thoughts, experiences etc if you don't mind so.

Hope to hear some good input

 

[carking1]

I've tried it, and for me, the pain was excruciating. I found no pleasure in in whatsoever. I have tried it with about 6 or 7 different guys, hoping that someone has the experience or finesse to show me why so many people enjoy it. So far, no success. Fortunately, I have met someone who is not interested in topping, so it works out well for us.

I certainly don't want to discourage others from trying anything they and their partner agree on, though. My hope is that everyone can find their sexual nirvana, whatever that might be.

 

[tampa24]

Great question SWM! I'll be interested in hearing the feedback on this one. My own bottoming experience is extremely limited and a long time ago. So I would rather hear from some of the more experienced bottoms first.

 

[joninliverton]

I bottomed yesterday - Sunday, it was the first time for a while but I used lube which makes it easier. The top was about 6.5 inches and, after about 2 or 3 mins of gently pushing it, sometimes leaving it, in - the whole lot was in. I asked him to keep it there for a few minutes and this helped. Then he fucked my brains out.

 

[Jayman01]

Have you bottomed before?

Yes, I have.

Does bottoming hurt for you?

There were times it was very painful and there are times I was amazed how good it could feel until the next day. (Yikes) The thing I found that helped most was trust in your partner and learning to relax. I still prefer the top. I think being versatile can make for a better relationship though...

Do you think it hurts in general?

Of course I think it hurts in general. Bottoming is not a normal thing to do for most people. That area of the body was primarily designed to keep things in so we don't mess ourselves and it was designed to help things exit as needed. I think true bottoms have a unique gift to train that part of the body to work in reverse. Just my humble opinion.

 

[Jayman01]

I bottomed yesterday - Sunday, it was the first time for a while but I used lube which makes it easier. The top was about 6.5 inches and, after about 2 or 3 mins of gently pushing it, sometimes leaving it, in - the whole lot was in. I asked him to keep it there for a few minutes and this helped. Then he fucked my brains out.

OH, my... I am glad you got to have some fun. Now we are all jealous... Care to help us live vicariously through you???

 

[zyl84]

Have you bottomed before?
yes i have.

Does bottoming hurt for you?
depends on who is topping me. if the top just plunges it in and fucks me like he's going to the electric chair, i'd say yeah it will hurt. but if he is slow at first and works it in slowly and builds up to a nice pace, it doesn't hurt. oh and lube... lots and lots and lots (and lots) of lube.

Do you think it hurts in general?
it should hurt at first, everyone has a different tolerance for pain. i know i've broken a bone or 7 before and it hurts me less than it hurt my friend. who knows how you deal with pain. generally, you shouldn't bottom if you're a bitch when it comes to pain.

 

[castrol]

Well, I tried bottoming two or three times while in college...and, never could really find any pleasure in it whatsoever! Many of my friends thoroughly enjoy bottoming; however, I'm completely at the other end of that specturm.

I have found it so much simplier to only engage myself with bottoms (or guys who don't necessarily feel a 'need' to top).

Thank God for ALL the bottoms, especially those who really like it...!!

 

[joninliverton]

On a recent Gaydar survey in the uk, there were far more bottoms than there were tops. Over here it appears that guys really love getting fucked, but don't forget we are talking about gay guys. The guys seen on this site, so it's kinda natural and obvious that they wouldn't like it - now that's where the money comes in.

 

[swm89]

Glad to see all the various posts on the topic.
Thank you all for your answers.

Now my answer follows below:

I have recently starting bottoming for my BF.
I NEVER in my life thought I would ever bottom.

I Praise to Jayman where he says it helps to trust your partner.
I think the main thing that let me bottom was that I Trusted my BF to take it slow, go at my pace and to stop if I said stop.

For me, usually bottoming is pretty good feeling when my BF wants to top me.

Luckily, he is finally getting used to bottoming for me as I am a bit thicker than some others (not trying to brag).
At first he had a real hard time with it. However, he trusted me, we took it slow and used lube and all went well.
Now I am going faster and harder with him and he isn't getting hurt or sore much=)

So everyone keep your answers coming as its cool to hear other people's thoughts.

Thanks=)

 

[panzer104]

Agree with the trusting your partner...I bottomed for the first time with my best friend after about three years of fooling around. Never thought for a moment that I would enjoy the experience. I was pleasantly surprised. I am submissive by my nature, and bottoming is the ultimate turn on for me now. Now I prefer to bottom when the choice is mine, and though sometimes it still hurts, it always becomes enjoyable. Your top just needs to understand and take it easy at first, then work into the hotter, faster pace...

 

[tgcapwell]

Yes i have bottomed before.....Yes it hurts....BUTT. I am in a 12 years relationship and he is on the large side about 10 i guess. He really has to work it in slowly. there does come a time while he is at a certain pace that I have to say "POUND ME DAMMIT" whenever it gets to that point it better happen. I also like to top but do not get to very often. I think even with the right person it still hurts to begin with.

 

[richardnoggin869]

Pain Is In The Behind Of The Holder

This is a very interesting thread, it reminds me of an ancient saying that seems to hold a truism to straight sex as well as gay sex:

"THERE ARE NO FRIGID WOMEN....ONLY CLUMSY MEN!!!" "THERE IS NO PAIN IN ANAL SEX....ONLY CLUMSY MEN!!!"

It has been mentioned by many people who have responed to this thread and bottomed, that patience, trust, and partner communication (and plenty of lube) have aided in their enjoyment of anal sex. Some who have posted have mentioned that bottoming was not their cup of tea: they did not like it, or it hurt too much.

Those who experienced pain and discomfort, may have been experiencing the sexual phenomenon of a selfish top, "LANCE ROMANCE AND THE THREE MINUTE BOOGIE" or that other hurry up quickie "BIM BAM THANK YOU SAM"

Some people equate anal sex as the ultimate in gay sex. The person has given his body, will and complete control to the person that is going to enter him. To many, anal sex is not sex, it is the final step in lovemaking. A complete giving of onesself.

A blowjob or masturbation to many is not sex, it's just a throwaway, something to pass the time. BJ's and JO's would not be considered the ultimate in lovemaking, perhaps foreplay.

Rats, sorry folks, I got off on a tangent and forgot the rest of what I wanted to say or how put a close on my post.....rats again!!

 

[EssexGayBoy]

I have bottomed a few times but it is not something I enjoy - cos it hurts! My first bf would take it slowly and he did manage to fuck me gently and I enjoyed the situation. My current boyfriend is not good at fucking and wants to go at it like a fucking wookpecker so until he learns to take it easy I will not be bottoming for him.

 

[mikeyank]

My limited, but not unpleasant experiences "bottoming"

Anal sex has never played a huge role in my lovemaking or sexual encounters, but I can recall two guys that I was involved with, at the time, who fucked me. They were both when I was in my late twenties to early thirties.

The first was a guy in his early twenties, who I met on my last night of a vacation in Fort Lauderdale. My parents had a home down there at the time, and I was visiting them. I met Kurt at the old Marlin Beach Hotel, at T-dance. We danced to Blondie's "Heart of Gold" and Gloria Gaynor's "I will Survive". I remember us walking onto the public beach across the street, and making out under the stars, on the beach down by the surf late into the night. It was a romantic, horny time, and I took him to a motel, and spent the night. Kurt had average size endowment, perhaps six inches, and he kissed me passionately as he entered me, and while I didn't experience the "nirvana" that bottoms speak of, he was gentle and loving and caring, and was kissing me the whole time, and it was an overall pleasant experience.

The other young man I can recall was a British lad, vacationing in New York City for the summer. We met in Provincetown. and continued our affair, back in New York, and we had a memorable weekend in Atlantic City, as well. He was also of average size, and again, he entered me while we were making passionate love, and it didn't hurt or give me great pleasure, except knowing that he was feeling so good.

Both guys fucked me bareback, as this was before we were worried about AIDS, and it was interesting and erotic to have them both cum inside of me. So in my limited experiences, it did not hurt, but both guys were gentle lovers, and neither had cock's of porn star proportions. But my preference today is touching, kissing, licking and sucking. I guess I'm an oral kind of guy.

Thank you swm89 for bringing up this most interesting topic.

 

[Jayman01]

Well, I tried bottoming two or three times while in college...and, never could really find any pleasure in it whatsoever! Many of my friends thoroughly enjoy bottoming; however, I'm completely at the other end of that specturm.

I have found it so much simplier to only engage myself with bottoms (or guys who don't necessarily feel a 'need' to top).

Thank God for ALL the bottoms, especially those who really like it...!!

Here, here to bottoms everywhere!!!

 

[Jayman01]

This is a very interesting thread, it reminds me of an ancient saying that seems to hold a truism to straight sex as well as gay sex:

"THERE ARE NO FRIGID WOMEN....ONLY CLUMSY MEN!!!" "THERE IS NO PAIN IN ANAL SEX....ONLY CLUMSY MEN!!!"

It has been mentioned by many people who have responed to this thread and bottomed, that patience, trust, and partner communication (and plenty of lube) have aided in their enjoyment of anal sex. Some who have posted have mentioned that bottoming was not their cup of tea: they did not like it, or it hurt too much.

Those who experienced pain and discomfort, may have been experiencing the sexual phenomenon of a selfish top, "LANCE ROMANCE AND THE THREE MINUTE BOOGIE" or that other hurry up quickie "BIM BAM THANK YOU SAM"

Some people equate anal sex as the ultimate in gay sex. The person has given his body, will and complete control to the person that is going to enter him. To many, anal sex is not sex, it is the final step in lovemaking. A complete giving of onesself.

A blowjob or masturbation to many is not sex, it's just a throwaway, something to pass the time. BJ's and JO's would not be considered the ultimate in lovemaking, perhaps foreplay.

Rats, sorry folks, I got off on a tangent and forgot the rest of what I wanted to say or how put a close on my post.....rats again!!

Thank you Richard for sharing... This speaks volumes.

 

[Jayman01]

Glad to see all the various posts on the topic.
Thank you all for your answers.

Now my answer follows below:

I have recently starting bottoming for my BF.
I NEVER in my life thought I would ever bottom.

I Praise to Jayman where he says it helps to trust your partner.
I think the main thing that let me bottom was that I Trusted my BF to take it slow, go at my pace and to stop if I said stop.

For me, usually bottoming is pretty good feeling when my BF wants to top me.

Luckily, he is finally getting used to bottoming for me as I am a bit thicker than some others (not trying to brag).
At first he had a real hard time with it. However, he trusted me, we took it slow and used lube and all went well.
Now I am going faster and harder with him and he isn't getting hurt or sore much=)

So everyone keep your answers coming as its cool to hear other people's thoughts.

Thanks=)

Thank you, glad I could be of help... Mikeyank and Richardnoggin869 really hit a home run with their comments too in my book...

 

[Stripe222]

Funny that there aren't more dedicated bottoms speaking up. I had my first experience in my 20's. Two guys had tried and barely made it past the battlement before I made them turn back. Then I tricked with a guy and as we were getting into it he was trying to fuck me but was only half hard. He kind of "stuffed" it in with his fingers and because he was soft I didn't feel much pain at all. Then the spirit moved him and his 8 incher jumped to attention inside me. He went at it with gusto and there was little pain and the excitement of it made me hard and I came while getting fucked for the first time!. A bottom is born! The experience was fantastic and pain free except for the next day. Getting fucked is one of the most intense and intimate thing two men can do. And it is an incredible physical feeling that makes an orgasm about 10 times more intense. You can't be gazing in your lover's eyes with your head bobbing in his lap. To stare into your partners eyes while he slowly fucks you has more deep seated emotional ramifications than I can list.
I have bottomed A LOT over the years, 4 lovers, all tops, and then those "between partners" times. One has to stay busy. I was a wee bit sexually compulsive.
There is pain involved, especially initially, but with experience you learn how your body works and how best to minimize the pain and maximize the pleasure. The "clean out" or douche is a pain, but you don't want your playmate to end-up with mud on him!
I did occasionally top and found that the more a bottom tensed-up, the more pain they were in. You need to go to your zen place and for God's sake relax your sphincter!

 

[joninliverton]

I have bottomed a few times but it is not something I enjoy - cos it hurts! My first bf would take it slowly and he did manage to fuck me gently and I enjoyed the situation. My current boyfriend is not good at fucking and wants to go at it like a fucking wookpecker so until he learns to take it easy I will not be bottoming for him.

Too right mate, you're in control and don't you forget it. Fancy a trip up to Leeds sometime lol.