A Gay story i found

[Kodieboy]

‘Uuum.. well.. Perfect..’ I said turning to my car to unlock it ‘-just perfect’ I added. That was probably one “perfect” too much and I must have sounded more discontented than I actually wanted to. I opened the door and threw my bag onto the passenger seat.

‘You don’t wanna talk to me..’ I heard Justin's low voice saying behind me

‘What ?!’ I flipped around

‘Umm.. I said –‘

‘No, I heard what you said Justin’ I cut him off ‘I just wasn’t sure if I was understanding it right..’

He didn’t seem to understand so I added ‘You know YOU were the one that wasn’t talking to ME the past few weeks’

I hadn’t noticed but in the heat of the moment I got closer to Justin. His face was only inches away from mine and I really wished I could touch it. I could feel Justin's eyes wandering over my body.

Finally he was looking at his own feet again and whispered ‘Can I ask you something?’

‘Depends..’ I only said

‘Well is there something going on between you and this new kid – what’s his name again?

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. ‘Tyson ?’ I asked

Justin looked in my eyes again and nodded slowly.

‘As far as I’m concerned, that’s none of your business.. not anymore’ I just said

All this stuff about Tyson was really pissing me off now. What the fuck was so special about this guy and why was everybody so into him ?

I stepped back from Justin. This was too awkward for me..

I sat inside my car but as I reached out to close the door Justin stepped in between.

‘We’re still friends right?’ his voice sounded kinda weak and concerned

‘Whatever..’ I ignored him, closed the door and drove off.
Next day in school was fucking horrible. I couldn’t stop thinking about Justin.. well not that this was something new or strange but.. God. Seems like he’s always coming up with new problems. I still think he doesn’t know what he really wants and what the hell does Tyson got to do with this? I felt shitty. As I was walking through the hallway I thought about the conversation I had with Justin yesterday.. I should have told him how much he really means to me. And that Tyson is nothing compared to him. Now I felt like I was alone invisible to everyone -

‘Hey’ I heard somebody say behind me

I was almost expecting that I made it up but I turned around anyways.. and I saw Tyson.

‘Oh hey’ I said annoyed and kept moving but Tyson was walking with me now

‘Are you okay? Didn’t see you in sports class yesterday’ he said concerned

‘Yeah.. didn’t feel so well’

Tyson took a short glance at me before he continued

‘You already have plans for tonight?’ he asked casually

‘What? You know it’s Thursda-’ I started but stopped because Tyson walked right into some other guy who was followed by a crowd of the jocks

I wanted to see who it was and my eyes met Justin’s

‘Dude. Watch yourself’ he grumbled towards Tyson and walked away

‘What the fuck ?’ Tyson asked perplexed

I was kinda shocked too. But I tried to hide it quickly.

‘Dunno.. but this happens to me all the time’ I laughed

Tyson was still lost in his thoughts and I saw this as my chance to get away ‘Gotta go to geography now. See ya’ I said friendly and went to my classroom.

After school I spend some time on a small wall right beside the football field where Justin and the other guys were playing football. Usually I used that time only to check out the boys.. especially Justin. I would just sit there unnoticed and wait till the training ended because Justin would usually come to me to hang out.. This place felt kinda special to me even though Justin and me weren’t that close by the time.. I brought my books and the exercises my biology teacher told me to do with me.

The weather was very hot but on the stonewall and under the shadows of some tall trees it was quite comfortable. There were a few kids on the opposite side of the field but I didn’t really care. I could see Justin wearing black shorts and one of his favourite shirts. It was a simple blue shirt with white letters on the front saying ‘Captain’. When Justin showed it to me the first time he was so fucking proud.

I decided to start researching for vaccines and took out my papers and books. But my own thoughts and Justin’s hot body always interrupted me. Once I was probably staring a little too long and he noticed me. I wanted to look away but just couldn’t.. My eyes were locked on his. I missed him so much. He smiled at me and I waved. I WAVED? WTF? I regretted it right after.. what kind of retard is fucking waving? Justin turned to the other guys and I buried my head in my hands. Argh shit.. I am such a freak.

After all I wanted to get this done. I wanted to write at least a few sentences to every question and go home then. It was hard to understand everything but I tried my best although I knew my teacher would be pissed anyways. About half an hour later I saw a tall guy walking towards me. It was Tyson.

 

[Kodieboy]

‘Heyya’

‘What.. are you stalking me now?’ I said in a friendly tone

‘Maybe.’ He sat right next to me ‘I just saw you sitting here and thought maybe you need some company’ he smiled

‘I already told you.. You’re not my boyfriend’ I clarified and tried to focus on my imposition again.

‘We could change that’

Did he really just say that ?

‘I don’t think so’ I said cold

‘Alright. So what.. I don’t care’ Tyson came closer and stroked my chest with his hands.

I took a brief look at the football field. Nobody seemed to have seen anything.. ‘Tyson. What are you doing?’

He didn’t stop as I hoped he would. Well that was partly true because honestly his touch felt really good on me.

WTF? I couldn’t do this. Justin could see us and.. Justin..

‘I think I use you just to get over another guy’ I blurted out.

Tyson hesitated.. and then he laughed ‘Hear me complaining?’ as he put one of his hands on my thigh.

WTF? That didn’t mean anything to him. This was way too much. I DIDN’T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN. Why do I always have to remind myself of that ? I really didn’t want Tyson to touch me now. Not even mentioning the whole football team watching.

‘Stop it Tyson. I’m serious.’ I said angry and he pulled away.

I wanted him to go and fucking leave me alone.

‘I told you I do–’ I started again

‘..Pat?’ I heard a familiar voice a few steps away. I hadn’t noticed before but the football team was gone. Only Justin was still there now walking towards us with his hair a little wet and messy. He was carrying a football with him.

I felt kinda caught. Being with Justin and Tyson at the same time was awkward. And I had no idea how much Justin must have heard or seen already.

‘What’s up?’ Justin smiled at me and nodded slightly towards Tyson.

God. I wanted this to end. Now.

Justin stared at Tyson for a few seconds as though he was figuring him out or something. But then he ignored him and talked to me again ‘Eeerm well.. Coach let us go early’ he said like it was the most normal thing to talk to me about that.. about anything at all..

‘Anyways Sam just asked me to hang out at his.. you’re coming Pat?’ he added

WTF? Did I miss something? Since when.. WTF? I’ve never even been at Sam’s house..
But well I knew Justin.. He was probably just offering me an excuse to get away from Tyson..

Tyson and me exchanged glances. ‘Uum.. sure’ I said in Justin's direction.

‘Gotta go’ I simply said and packed my stuff back in my bag. I guess I made my point clear this time and I hoped Tyson wouldn’t say anything else. After a few seconds of hesitation and sulky looks Tyson agreed. ‘See ya’ he said, jumping down off the wall. Justin was staring at his feet.

--

Few seconds later I walked with Justin to get his bag from the other side of the field. As soon as Tyson was out of earshot I complained ‘You don’t need to protect me anymore Justin’ – ‘I could have handled it alone..’

‘I’m always gonna protect you’ he whispered really quiet but I was still able to hear it. ‘He seems to be with you all the time..’ Justin added in a normal but gloomy tone

‘Well were friends’ I only said

Justin nodded but said nothing more.

The whole way Justin refused to look at me. He was looking on the floor or at some kids.. just not me. Why was he so uncomfortable talking to me ?

We both watched Tyson disappear behind some trees at the schoolyard.

‘What were you doing here anyways?’ Justin asked me. I realized how he lightened up just talking about something else now..

‘Nothing much.. I had to do some homework and stuff and Oh.. you remember what happened this morning?’ I laughed and held up my biology book

Justin looked at me and laughed. Oh how much I loved it when he did that.

When we arrived at his bag Justin asked ‘So.. do you still have some time to play?’ he held up the football just the way I did it before with my book.

This was so typical for him. He was pretending the conversation before and everything containing to it never happened. Justin was always refusing to talk about stuff like that. Feelings. Relationships.. And he also was always doing this shit when something wasn’t going according to plan.

‘We’re never going to talk about it, right?’ I asked quiet

‘Talk about what?’ Justin said looking right into my eyes.. what made me really nervous.

‘Come on.. Talk about you and me. Together. About this fucking tension that seems to be between us. Always.’ I stuttered

‘You know me.. I’ve never been that chatty’ he laughed ‘But I know what I want. And right now I wanna play football’ – ‘So were gonna play now or what?’

But this was really important to me. I felt like we had to talk about it.. sooner or later.

‘Don’t think just beca-’ I started but got cut off because Justin threw the football towards me really hard. But I got it.

‘Wohoo.. you practiced?’ he laughed

I couldn’t help but laugh too ‘Shut up’ and I threw the ball back to him.

Justin stepped back and threw the football back to me.. I guess we gotta talk LATER

So we played a little. Well honestly it was Justin who played or more like.. put on a show.. but it was kinda hot. You know as far as I am concerned I’m not that strong and shit. But Justin..wow

For a few moments we were just two best friends again. Having a good time playing ball.

Maybe I was getting into it a little too much but it was so much fun.. When Justin passed me the football slightly stronger than before, I wanted to jump after it and fell. I landed flat on my stomach and my ankle was kinda hurt. Stuff like that ALWAYS happens to me. NOT COOL. Really fucking embarrassing!

‘Ouch’ I said as I tried to uplift my body

I saw Justin who was laughing and running towards me ‘You’re okay Pat ?’

‘No’ I groaned and reached my hand out waiting for him to help me up again.

‘Thanks to you asshole, I’m not’ I added laughing

‘You wanted it bitch’ he said cheeky but smiling

He picked me up again and we almost crashed into each other as he did that. We were face to face and none of us moved. My hand was still in his and our bodies were only inches apart.

I was breathing really hard. Everything was falling into place. This was one of those moments I missed so much. I stared into his green eyes. But Justin broke the silence..

‘You remember what I said earlier? About Sam.. you know.. Sam Petersen?’

I was puzzled. I saw Justin's lips move but couldn’t understand a word he was saying

‘Half of that was actually true. He’s having a party tonight and.. well he asked if we wanna come..’ he smiled

I almost melted. There was a “we” again? Oh god.

Justin blushed ‘So are we..?’

‘What ?’ I asked as my mind started working again

He laughed and stared at his feet ‘Are we going there’

I wasn’t sure if I understood it right but at that moment I would have agreed to anything he said..

‘Yeah sure’ I smiled

‘Cool.. I’m gonna pick you up at 9’ Justin said hopefully

Then he turned away from me and picked up his stuff. And after he threw his bag over his strong shoulders he stepped up to me again. He leaned in pretty close and his mouth was right beside my ear. I shuddered as I felt his breath on my neck.. he was so close.

‘Just wanted to make sure you understand’ he whispered in a low hot voice ‘I know what I want..’

My eyes were closed and I hold my breath as he continued ‘And if I want something.. I’m willing to fight to get it’

I couldn’t move. I wasn’t even able to think. But a moment later Justin’s lips touched mine. Only for a second I could feel his lips on mine but it was mind blowing. I was so surprised I just stared at him as he walked away after. And before I could react or say anything Justin was gone.

I was just standing there. Speechless and amazed. It took me another minute to realize JUSTIN JUST KISSED ME ..in the middle of the football field..

 

[Kodieboy]

Wishfull Thinking Pt5

Heyya, i know it takes ages for me to write a new chapter lol but I’m really trying to get more out of the characters if you know what I’m talking about.. Anyways this is chapter number 5
Guess I’m gonna write another one but not sure whether I should end the story then.. we’ll see.. and again let me know what you think. ideas suggestions and comments are needed

***

It was Thursday 8pm. The day Justin asked me out to this party at Sam’s house.

I showered. Put on way too much aftershave. And changed my outfit like 10 times still hoping Justin wouldn’t guess that i didn’t know what to wear.. I was surprised that simple blue jeans could look so hot on me.

8:40pm. I was fucking nervous and excited. This was so different from everything else Justin and I had done before. We weren’t just best friends going out. This time it was something else. We were closer now. I don’t know.. we were.. OMG. Were we going on a DATE? Like.. a fucking date? Was this the word I was searching for?

I really tried to calm down but I couldn’t. I ran downstairs and upstairs again just to check if I could already see Justin's car parked outside. My mum was sitting on the couch in the living room looking worried at me like she wasn’t sure if my mind was still working right. But thank god she didn’t say anything.

Finally.. thirty minutes later and with me almost going crazy I heard the doorbell. I checked my hair one last time in the mirror at the wardrobe and opened the door.

The magic happened. Justin stood there flashing me his killer smile that made my knees go weak. His hands were buried in the pockets of his black pants. He also wore a bright shirt and this black leather jacket that made me even hotter for him.

‘Hi’ I stuttered.

‘Hey’ Justin smiled and gave me a slow look from top to bottom

As I was gazing into his beautiful green eyes a flashback hit me fucking hard from all the times we were so close and he looked at me like that. How he closed his eyes when I was touching his chest.. and the way he told me that he would fight for the things he wanted.. I was hooked and couldn’t stop staring.

‘You look beautiful’ he whispered and I think my heart stopped beating for a second

‘Thanks..’ my face turned fucking red and there was no way to hide it now..

Justin just smiled at me.

‘So are we going or what?’ he finally said pointing slightly in the direction of his car

‘Uuuh.. yes sure’

--------------------------------------------

I couldn’t remember the last time I was driving in Justin's car.. but it felt good. I like Justin having power over something. I guess that’s the reason why he became captain of the football team.. because he was fucking good.. being in control.

‘What ?’ he smiled but didn’t take his eyes off the street. I guess he must have realized I was staring at him.. AGAIN.

‘Nothing..’ I tried to sound relaxed and forced myself to look somewhere outside.. Oh god I just wished I could touch him. I wanted him so much.. I longed for him so bad it hurt. But I still wasn’t sure about his intentions.

--------------------------------------------

‘Alright we’re there’ Justin said about ten minutes later and stopped the car

There were many other cars in the street and I could see lights and already a few people in the front yard of a tall house. And when we got out of the car I could hear music playing loud.

‘Hey you didn’t tell me this was such a big deal’ I told Justin as he walked towards the house and I followed

‘Sorry but I didn’t know either, hun’ he answered sounding just slightly too commiserative

I turned my head. Did he just call me “hun” ? I opened my mouth to comment on this but Justin was about to talk to some of these people that I’ve never even seen before.

I felt kinda embarrassed just lingering behind him and not knowing what to do or where to go. Why do I have to be so fucking uncool when it comes to things like that?

‘Oh and hey everybody.. this is Patrick’ Justin announced loud and pulled me closer and suddenly everybody was looking at me

‘Hey’ I said shyly

I wasn’t really enjoying it to be the centre of attention. Why were these people so fucking interested in me anyway?

‘Are we going inside?’ I asked Justin pleading and adjusting his jacket

‘Umm.. yeah just give me a second’

I was used to that. Justin had been so fucking popular as long as I could think. It was always like this when we were going to parties. There was almost NO time for me.

Well I was caught off guard when Justin suddenly said ‘Let’s go’ and took my hand. Astonishment must have been written all over my face right that moment..

Justin lead me inside Sam’s house where were even MORE people. But he quickly found some empty spot on a couch in the back of the living room. I noticed most of the guys there were actually really hot. Like not only the whole football team who was there but also some other guys. A second later Justin let go of my hand and dropped on the couch.. much to my own disappointment. I sat down a few inches beside him, still hoping he would take my hand again but well he didn’t.

--------------------------------------------

Yeah.. we ended up suddenly sitting REALLY close and occasionally brushed our knees together. I could feel the heat that was coming from Justin's body.. and it made my heart beat even faster. None of us said anything and I tried hard to keep my eyes on something in the distance just to avoid staring at Justin. But I felt his eyes on me as he lifted his arm and placed it right behind my back. I closed my eyes for a second trying to memorize this moment forever in my mind. It felt so good being that close to him again and to see he wanted it just as much as I did.

I was waiting for Justin to say something. I felt like he still owed me that TALK we didn’t have on the football field this morning and I su-

‘What’s up Justin’ Sam Petersen interrupted my thoughts smiling, walking closer to us. He added a surprised ‘Oh hey Patrick’ as he spotted me. I didn’t like this nosy jerk at all. I crossed my arms.. was this my own little defence mechanism?

‘We just got here Sam.. nice party though’ Justin answered casually gesturing a little with his left hand while his right arm stayed around my shoulders.

‘Seriously, I didn’t think you two would actually come’ he grinned cockily from me to Justin.

‘Seriously, you thought wrong’ Justin said in a not-so-friendly-anymore tone. It was an obvious sign that the conversation was ended at this point and Sam finally let us alone.

 

[Kodieboy]

I felt relieved that I haven’t had to say anything. Just then I realized how much I had really missed my beloved Justin. Not only his touch and his beautiful body but also the way he was always there for me and how he protected me from everybody else..

‘Are you okay?’ he whispered worried and stroked over my knee with his left hand

‘Yeah.. I guess’ I answered quiet, staring at my shoes and still not unfolding my arms

I still wanted him to TALK TO ME..

‘Look Pat you know I’m sorry..’ he murmured but I kept staring at my feet


Justin shifted somehow closer to me

‘You know I need you’ he whispered lifting my chin slightly with his hand so I had to look at him ‘Now please listen to me baby’ – oh god I almost melted when he called me “baby” – ‘I know I cant take back what I did or said. I’m not perfect. I made a mistake.. I got it. But please believe me when I’m telling you that this will never happen again. I’ll never hurt you again Pat.. never again’ Justin said in this perfect low voice. He stroked over my hair and leaned in close enough so I could feel his hot breath on my neck. ‘I miss you so much’ he whispered directly in my ear and my whole body tingled.

And then I felt his lips on my skin. He lifted his arm behind my back and stroke over my chest while kissing down my neck. Oh God I was so hot for him and tried to not get a fucking hard-on..

‘Justin-’ I started but stopped ad his hand slid through my hair

‘Justin..’ I tried again ‘..you do realize were not alone right?’

‘I don’t care’ he declared and pulled my shirt down a little to get more access to my chest

I noticed I had no chance this way and tried another strategy.. knowing he would never do something that I clearly didn’t want.

‘Well actually I care. I feel so uneasy it’s like they’re watching us’ I whispered looking into his green eyes that now stared right into mine. I knew he was trying to figure me out.

‘Do you have any idea how hard it is to be with you but not being able to touch you? – it kills me’

‘I guess you’re asking the wrong person’ I said almost laughing

Justin blushed and dropped his head on the backrest of the couch

He closed his eyes for a moment and said ‘I’m gonna go and get us some drinks okay?’

‘Yeah.. sure’ I agreed and Justin stood up immediately

--------------------------------------------

Was he now angry with me now or what? Even though I didn’t want us to make out in front of all these people I still wanted Justin.. and I wanted to touch him and to kiss him. I just didn’t want it to happen HERE. I wanted to kiss him so bad.. and more than the slight touch of his lips that I got this morning. I wanted a REAL kiss.. I missed the way Justin's lips could taste.

Completely in thoughts about Justin's lips I suddenly felt a hand lifting me up from the couch. It was Tyson.. and he was dragging me to some wall which I only realized when my shoulders rubbed against it. He stood in front of me and braced one arm against the wall I was standing against, his hand directly over my shoulder. WTF? Why do I always end up in a situation like this with TYSON? He was looking at me like I was dessert. By that he made a clear sign that anyone else could just step the fuck off, thanks.

‘What are you doing here?’ I asked perplexed trying hard not to get weak knees

‘Stalking you..?’ Tyson smiled but as he noticed I didn’t think this was funny he added ‘God you’re such a freak sometimes.. Sam invited me so chill out Pat’

Actually I didn’t care about anything he said. But I heard the way he phrased my name.

‘..don’t call me that’ I said looking down at my shoes

‘What?’ Tyson sneered ‘..Pat?’

I didn’t answer him. You know it’s been only Justin who ever called me Pat. I don’t know but I felt so insecure and vulnerable right then.. and Tyson knew it. He probably knew more than I would want him to.

‘What has he got that I don't have?’ he asked innocently and rested his hand on my waist

I tried to pull away but all of a sudden Justin stepped up beside me and Tyson backed off.

Justin just stared at him and placed a possessive hand on my chest. Well I was holding my breath while my eyes switched from Tyson to Justin. ‘You know..’ Justin said, smirking at Tyson in front of him ‘I'm starting to have a real problem with you touching my property’

 

[Kodieboy]

Because I love you

My first real gay experience was with my freind Joe. He had long, dirty blonde surfer hair, his whole torso had hair but just a buzz to give it a sexy look, especially in his pecks. We had been friends since second grade and were now in our senior year in high school. We were basically like brothers. We were each others support system if any of us had a problem. Joe was one who was good to cheer up people. After I ended up my 2 year relationship with my girlfriend Ann, I felt my life was over (as everyone does). Joe and I knew our friendship would last. But I never knew, it would be more than just that.

It happened at his house, we were wathching a movie in his office/den, I was on the computer and he was laying on the futon. I felt a hand touch my thigh and looked up, it was Joe, he told me to let him look up something quick on the internet and sat on me.
"I can move the futon" I said.
"No stay here, Im almost done" Joe replied.

I waited patiently for him to finish, his body was heavy, but it wasn't killing me, his butt was perfectly firm and warm. I suddenly began feeling him move his butt on me in circles, then he laid back on me and began dry humping me and kissing me on my ear. I tried to get him off me. He whispered.
"Come on, loosen up. I wont tell,"

I was in a loss for words and he began kissing me again. This time he rubbed my thighs, and stook his hand down my shorts and began playing with my dick and balls. He placed my hand on his dick and I could feel the huge bulge, I started rubbing it and he began moaning. He got up and sat on me with his dick up to mine, we were face to face on the black leather chair, intensley making out, and rubbing each other. I took off my shirt and he licked my nipples, I moaned softly. Then I took off his shirt to reveal his gorgeous abs and hairy pecks, I licked the fuck of them and he moaned loudly. We moved to the futon and got to the real fun. Laying there naked, his hot body on top of mine, with our rock hard dicks, we were making out, our bodies beginning to sweat a little making things even hotter. I moved down to his dick. It was huge, about 8 inches, cut, and had the sexiest musk smell ever, his balls were big and hairy. As I sucked on his dick, he would push my head down, making me choke on his monster cock. He continued moaning loudly saying pharses like "Yeah keep sucking that shit...Ohhh! Don't stop...Fuck yeaah".

He abruptly pushed me and now I was on my sweaty back laying on the futon. He returned the favor by sucking on my 8 inch cock. My pubic hair seemed to fascinate him becuase he couldnt stop licking and rubbing it. As his mouth sucked on my dick, his fingers moved down my sweaty, hairy crack, making circles around my anus and eventually sticking them in my ass. It was the best feeling ever, his fingers knew exactly how to finger fuck my ass. I groaned louder each time and his fingers got deep in me.

"You like this dont you?" he asked me.
"Yea, Yeah." I said, breathing deeply.
"Are you ready for the real thing or what bitch?" he said.
"O,o,okay" I nervously said.

He took his fingers out and picked me up, placed my ass over his throbbing cock and I sat on it. A rush of feelings I had never felt in my life were taking over me. I was a bittersweet moment, it hurt but felt good. He fucked me...hard. He was so deep in me it hurt him to. We reached for my head and brought it down to his face and we started making out again as he fucked the hell out of me. I sucked on his neck, giving him a hickey.

As the fucking got more intense I jacked off my own dick with my sweat as my lube. I had reached my climax and was ready to blow my load all over his deeply cut abs. I moaned and my dick erupted, releasing the most cum it had ever produced. Shortly after I felt a burst of hot goo up my ass, and Joe's moans and groans. He spasmed and he came into my ass. I gave him a soft kiss on the lips and I said, "Why have you done this to me?"


"Becuase I love you," he whispered.

 

[Kodieboy]

Get some

The first time I saw Diego I thought he was such a loser. I thought he was such a poser, I immediately disliked him. Lucky for me, my best friend had developed a crush for him so I would accompany her to see him sometimes and I kept telling her she was making a mistake. Eventually, my best friend and I ended our friendship and Diego's and I's friendship grew...wierd I know.

Diego was a year older than me but didn't seem like it. He was slim, white, black hair and had a funny voice. He had small black eyes and wore tight fitting jeans that showed off his ass and his package. He always wore a cologne that stayed on you the whole night and he was one of the few men who practiced chivalry on a daily use. I had begun chaning my opinon about him and started seeing how handsome he really was. We would always hangout and go out looking for "girls" becuase he didn't know I was gay. I always imagined myself with him when he would hookup with a girl and I would get jealous sometimes and show it unconciously.

One day, Diego came over to my house to talk about his night with a major school slut named Caroline, I wasn't looking foward to hearing it but I let him come just to see him. He was wearing a red polo shirt that fit him a bit small but showed off his arms and his pecks. His pants were tighter than usual and he hadn't shaved in a couple of days by the look of his beard. We went to my backyard to have a cigarette and lay on the chairs. "She was so fucking good, she had a nicest ass ever," he told me. I simply nodded and gave my cigarette a puff, Diego kept talking and I kept smoking. "Why aren't you saying anything?" he asked me. "What's there to say? I'm not the one with a story." I replied. He looked at me and his face seemed offended, and I said "I'm sorry I'm just not in the mood to hear about your hookups,". He layed back on the chair, rose him arms and his red polo rised up, I noticed his black briefs and his happy trail on his white abs.

He let out a big sigh and said, "Ok I'll shut up." I got into his same position, and we just stared up at the sky. My cigarette fell out of my hand on to the floor, we both reached down to get it bumping our heads into each other. We quickly went back up and stared at each other and let a quick laugh out. "Why haven't you been hooking up with girls?" he randomly asked me. "I don't know, I guess I haven't been lucky lately," I said. "You have got to get some now!" he said and patted my stomach. I smirked and continued to smoke. My pool was sparkling underneath the burning sun and it looked refreshing on that hot summer day. "Well I dont know about you, but I'm getting in the pool" I said. I took off my jeans and white t-shirt and stripped down to my checkerboard briefs. I jumped in the pool and just floated there. Diego quickly followed behind me and I was glad when he took of his shirt and jeans and I saw his beautiful pale body. His pecks had a bit of a peach fuzz and his happy trail led all the way down to his dick, or so it seemed like. He flexed his arms and jumped in. He swum up behind me and started to push me pretending to drown me.


I grabbed him from the leg and pulled him down as well trying to 'drown' him too. He both stopped and swam to the jacuzzi, we both were exhausted from the horseplay and just relaxed. The jacuzzi jets turned on and Diego began making sounds by the pressure it blasted on his back, "Oh damn I need a massage" he said, "Give me one" he told me and he put his back toward me. I began massaging his back and quickly had a hard on as I moved my arms down his hard back. He leaned back and he was in between my legs and I was just massaging his shoulders. I had the biggest hard on ever I was suprised he couldn't feel it on his lower back. A million fanatasizes started to go into my mind about him and I doing it in the jacuzzi. His wet body on me and my hard on up on his back was hard to resist. I decided to risk it. My hands started to move down to his pecks and I began rubbing them, then his nipples. "Woah, what kind of massage is this?" he said. "Shut up" I said.

My hands then moved even further down to his abs and he remained quiet and then I took the plunge and put my hand down his pants, the feeling of his pubic hair and his dick on my hand made me almost cum. I was so horny. I was shocked that he hadn't told me anything about my hand down his pants. "Are you okay with this?" I asked him, "Yeah" he said. His dick began to get hard and he turned his head to me, we looked into each others eyes and I gave him a kiss. Awkward it seemed at first and then he moved up and kissed me. I continued rubbing his dick until it was fully hard, I moved up and down arousing my dick upon his back and he then took of his briefs to expose his 7 inch white dick.

I took of mine and my 7 inch dick was pressed up against his back. We continued making out passionately and he had turned toward me by then. The jacuzzi jets and the hot water added more passion to our hot tension between us. "I've never done this before" he whispered in my ear. "Just relax" I told him. My dick began to push up agaisnt his asshole and he softly groaned. I placed my hand underwater and with my finger began to play with his anus, he continued to groan and gave a moan when I stook a finger up his ass. He grabbed my dick and began to stroke it and we continued kissing as I fingered his ass.

He moved closer to my body and I grabbed him from his ass and placed him on my dick. He gave out a loud moan and his head was placed upon my forehead. "It hurts" he told me. "Just relax" I told him again. I began to fuck him softly and the sensation of fucking underwater was amazing. He breathed heavily and I nibbled his ear softly. He grabbed my head and kissed me insanely good. Diego's ass got more loose with each fuck until he was boucing on my dick hardcore. His moans got louder and our bodies became hotter. I grabbed his dick and stroked it hard. Our bodies were reaching thier climax points, but his before mine.

He gave out a loud yell and blasted his load on my abs that was washed away by the water. I felt a sensation as I fucked Diego in my jacuzzi my body was beginning to grow weak as I neared my climax. Shortly after I gave a loud moan and cumed inside his ass. My dick was so sensitive it hurt when I pulled out and he touched it. We kissed again and I told him "So when are we going out to get some?" and he said "I just gave it to you."

 

[Kodieboy]

The fraternity

The campus at State U. was so big, and Pete couldn't get over that fact as he walked across the Quad on this first day of class. As a Freshmen he had so much to learn about life at a big college like State U. Worries about new classes, being away from home for the first time, and of course tonight the initiation into the fraternity he was pledged to last week. He was a little worried about that, because he had heard horror stories about frat hazing that had turned out tragically, and while he had been assured by current members that nothing dangerous would happen and that the entire initiation was actually quite pleasant. Well, he hoped so!
At ten o'clock sharp all ten new members TRI K fraternity were ushered into a dark room where each pledge was instructed to remove all of their clothing and sit down and be quiet. In 15 minutes or so each pledge was blindfolded and led into another room where he was instructed to stand at attention. After all the pledges were standing in a circle naked, they were instructed to remain motionless no matter what happened to them. Pete was starting to get that fearful feeling when he felt something touching his pecker, and next he felt a mouth engulf his now stiffening organ! Throughout the room he heard other gasps as he assumed other cocks were being sucked as well! Before he could cum, the mouth pulled away from his dick and he was left standing with a monster hardon shaking in the wind!

A voice then instructed the pledges to sit down on chairs being placed behind them, and in no time flat, hands were forcing their heads forward and an order to "open your mouth" was spoken. Before he knew what had happened a soft cock was shoved into his mouth! The order to "suck it!!" was then given, and Pete, while dazed and confused, began sucking on the now hardening pecker. He could hear the sounds of cocksucking going on all around the room and wondered if he was going to have to take a load of cum in his mouth. After about five minutes of sucking the cock was pulled from his mouth and his blindfold was removed. Pete could then see that they were in a room lit only by candles, but even in this dim light, however, he could see that everyone was naked and erect, and the older brothers were standing outside the ring of pledges slowly jerking their dicks. The president of the frat then laid down the rule to the new members, " If an older brother ever needs a suck off, you will suck him then and there on his request, if an older brother asks you to jerk off for any reason you will do it then and there, if and older brother asks you to suck anyone else, you will do it then and there, do you all understand these rules, if so answer yes." "If you agree to abide by the rules laid down here tonight you are all now probationary members."

Now as official members, the pledges dropped to their knees and sucked their older brothers to completion. They also were allowed to bring themselves to orgasm by sucking each other off, and Pete got his prick sucked by a kid from Texas who obviously had sucked a lot of dick before tonight! Within minutes he was unloading his nuts down the throat of the little cocksucker! Pete was surprised to find what a big cock the little guy had as he took his turn on his knees. He sucked the big head and licked it's shaft until his face was soon covered by spurting cum! He looked around the room to see most of his pledge mates on their knees with large penises in their mouths. The smell of fresh cum permeated the air, and it's pungent aroma seemed to be an aphrodisiac to the young pledges, because no one was having any trouble keeping and maintaining full erections! When ever someone needed to ejaculate, there was always and eager mouth ready to take a full load of hot cum and swallow it down! The rest of the evening was spent satisfying the upperclassmen, who were also caught up in the sexual synergy of the evening!


As they were heading off to bed an older brother pulled Pete aside and asked him to come to his room right away. When they got inside Pete was told to strip and play with his dick while the older boy kissed his nipples. Pete had very sensitive nipples and loved having them licked and sucked on, and after maybe ten minutes of foreplay, Jim, the older boy, told Pete to lay face down on the bed so he could fuck his ass. Pete quickly assumed his place on the bed as Jim rubbed his cock up and down Pete's ass crack, until he finally found Pete's hole and pushed his dick in slowly. Pete relaxed his ass and soon Jim was using Pete like his personal "fuck doll"! Jim was now panting hard and increasing the pace of strokes, while Pete's own cock was now hard as a rock and was nearing its own eruption, when all at once Jim shuddered and let go his load deep in Pete's ass. After Jim had removed his dick, Pete rolled over and begged Jim to suck him off, and without any hesitation, he dropped his mouth onto Pete's straining member and in only seconds Pete shot his cum into Jim's hot mouth! Both boys kissed deeply letting Pete's cum fill both of their mouths and Jim told Pete that he expected to have him in his room the next morning by seven o'clock to give him a wake up blowjob.

As Pete entered his own room he smiled at how well school was starting out! He better get a letter off to home to let his mom know that he had already made a lot of new friends!!! No use having her worrying!!!

 

[Kodieboy]

Glory hole

Josh was in a hurry as he walked up Seventh Ave. on his way home after his workout. It was cold and the December wind cut through his wind breaker making his whole body shiver, but not only was he cold, he was also uncomfortable because of the big hardon that was straining against his jeans. "Dammit, " he thought, "haven't cum yet today!" Josh, it seemed like, was always hard! His whole family was highly sexed, from his older brother, Brian, who had just about fucked every girl in the small town high school, to his own father who fucked his mom at least three nights a week even after twenty five years of marriage, so for Josh it was either have sex with a partner or jerk his big cock off at least once a day!
As he approached 53rd St., he noticed that a new adult bookstore had just opened for business, and with nothing else pressing to do, he decided to check it out. There was a sign inside that pointed to a back room that said "LIVE DANCERS" so Josh walked into the back room and entered a booth and closed the door behind him. He put a five dollars worth of quarters into the slot and the screen covering the glass slid up out of the way revealing two young men dancing to the beat of the music that was coming from two big speakers in the corners. Both looked to be about 19 years old, and were entirely naked and glistening with sweat! They obviously were workout fanatics as they both had perfectly muscled bodies and both sported large thick erections! Moving from booth to booth, they encouraged the men behind the glass screens to slide dollar tips through slots that led to the dance floor where the boys could scoop up their money. As one of the boys stopped in front of Josh's booth he slid five dollars through the opening to the waiting young stud, and for this, Josh was treated to a private little show that included some masturbation. By this time Josh had pulled out his own pecker and was giving it some nice even strokes as he watched the show.

While Josh jerked his dick with more fervor, he suddenly heard a tap on the left side wall of his booth, and after looking down, to his utter amazement was a hard cock sticking in through a hole that had been cut about crotch high! Now caught up in a high sexual tension, Josh dropped to his knees and took the erect member into his mouth and began sucking like a baby on a nipple. The head was smooth and slick with his saliva and Josh licked the beautiful shaft from top to bottom, until several minutes later Josh heard a groan coming from the next stall that was quickly followed by his mouth being jetted with thick spurts of hot cum! Swallowing every drop, Josh licked and sucked the head clean and gave it one last loving suck before it was pulled from his mouth and disappeared into the hole in the wall.

In it's place Josh could just make out part of the face of another person on the other side the hole, so after jumping to his feet, he stuck his own pecker through the small opening, and within a second, the head of his dick was being licked and sucked by a total stranger! Who ever was doing the sucking sure knew how to do it, because Josh couldn't remember ever having such a good suck off! He felt his nut sack tighten as he raced towards his orgasm, and while looking out the window of his booth and saw the two boys who had been dancing a few minutes ago, now down of the floor doing 69! It was too much for Josh to take and he blew his load deep into the throat of his anonymous cocksucker, while the two boys putting on the show were also in the process of cumming all over each others faces. There was hot gay cum everywhere! Josh's cocksucker was now gently licking his meat clean with soft velvety kisses, but reluctantly he pulled his dick back and stuck back into his pants. As he left the booth he bumped into another man as they left the back room making Josh wonder if he was his unknown suck mate!!! He gave the older man a little longer look than he normally would have, and as a small smile spread across the man's face, and Josh immediately knew that this was the man who had just made his pecker explode in ecstasy! Taking a chance, Josh extended his hand and introduced himself, the stranger grasped it firmly and said, "My name is Mark, what can I do for you?" Josh looked around the dark room and found a little cubby hole off behind the change machine and ordered, "Follow me, I have a plan!!!"

Mark followed Josh to the back of the room and slipped around the corner and out of sight while Josh dropped to his knees and unbuckled the man's pants and pulled out his penis. It already smelled of fresh cum, and Josh hungrily put it into his warm mouth, eager to receive another load of cum from the big dicked stranger! Mark hadn't said much up until then, but as he was being sucked he said, "That's right little boy, suck my big pecker, make it shoot its goo into your slutty little mouth!" Hearing that kind of lewd talk made Josh work even harder on the thick member, and in a few more minutes he was rewarded with a torrent of hot cum down his eager throat! Mark pulled him to his feet and kissed him hard on the mouth and told him to pull out his own cock. Mark took his own cum covered dick and Josh's into his hand and began jerking them together, both heads slipping and sliding together, their velvety smoothness combined with the saliva and cum on Mark's cock, bringing both men to the verge of ejaculation! Josh just stood there, his erection rubbing back and forth against Mark's, his orgasm now fast approaching. Josh couldn't hold back any longer, and stammered, "Oh my, god, I'm gonna blow!!!" Both peckers convulsed at the same instant, sending spurts of cum into Mark's rapidly moving fist, their cum inter mingling together as their cock heads rubbed side by side.


Mark pulled out his handkerchief and cleaned off both peckers and his cum drenched hand, and as they walked out into the afternoon sunshine, they nodded to each other, and then were both on their way in opposite directions.

 

[Kodieboy]

Finding my father in-law at a party

I am a 40 yo male who is married to a lovely attractive 32 yo mother of 1. 3 years ago when my wife gave birth to my daugher it started the death of our sex life, as a man of my word I had promised my wife that I would never sleep with another women whilst I was married, so when our sex life ceased I resorted to self gratification but as we all know eventualy you grow tired of your own hand, thats when I visited the local adult bookstore.

As I entered the store I was guided to the gay and Bi magazine racks, I noticed that as I was looking through some magazines other men were starting to check me out (I am just mr average, little cuddly and 5"10".)

About 30 minutes later I had decided to go and get something to eat so I left the bookshop and went to the local take away, as I was about to enter the shop I was approached by a mature male looking like santa claus, he stated that he had seen me in the bookstore and was curious if i was intersted in mature men, i must have appeared very nervous because he he made a great effort to calm me,He then invited me to have a meal with him.

Whilst eating in a very posh bistro, he explained to me that he was part of a group that recruited men for his private club.
His club was a place were married men visited for m-m sex without the wife knowing, I must have appeared interested because he placed his hand on my crotch and gave it a small squeeze, on doing this my dick expressed my interest immediately, he invited me to visit his home on thursday at 7pm approximately 1 hour before everyone ele so he could explain it all to me.

Thursday came aorund and I explained to my wife that I was going to a an old mates place and would return after midnight.

On arrival I rang the doorbell and was met by "santa" as I was shown in he explained to me that every month the club met at his place and that all the members had been introduced to the each other the same way, I was shown around his home and it was very nice until I enterd the rumpus room, this room was larger than a 6 car garage and was lined with wood panels, on the walls wre several hooks, leather ties and metal rings. couches and 2 beds were placed around the room with a strange device in the centre of the room. the device was shaped like a short bench with a leather cushion on top, the four legs had straps attached to it and a leather gimp mask laying on top, I must have shown concern because "santa" explained that all new members lay face down and have their limbs secured, he explained that if the member became scared or concerned all he had to do was say the safety word (Im married)and he would be released.

Within 20 minutes I had removed my clothes and had placed a mask over my face, as I lay on the bench I felt "santa" feeling my arse, he rubbed oil into my butt cheeks and slowly inserted his finger, at first it felt a ittle uncomfortable but as I relaxed I started to feel my cock spring to life, within seconds of seeing this "santa" placed his hand on my cock and began to play with it, as he started to wank me I felt my balls tighten and then I came all over his hand, i then felt his hand return to my arse and this time he place 3 fingers inside, wthin moments he had withdrawn his finger and had slowly inserted his 6" cock, his cock was alot thicker than his fingers and it caused a little discomfort, (now I know why the wife doesnt like me fucking her arse I thought), as Santa fucked me all I heared was how tight I am and what a great talent scout he was, within a few minutes he came deep inside me and before I knew it he had pulled out and left the room.

As I lay there I felt a trickle of cum start to drip down my inside leg, within a few minutes the door opened behind me and I heared what sounded like 6 men walk in, I coud hear them speak about the fresh meat laying on the bench then I heared Santa state that I was definitley straight and that I was married. I could hear all the men disrobe and started to feel several hand rubbing my arse, at the same time I looked through the eye holes in the mask and noticed a cock just infront of my mouth, it was 5" hard and uncut, the owner placed it on my lips and asked me if he could use my mouth as i went to open my mouth and say no he pushed it in, within 20 seconds he was pumpng his load of cum down my throat, as I attempted to get my breath I felt my arse starting to stretch and a large cock (later I found out was only 6 inches long) enter my arse this man hammered me for approximately 10 minutes then emptied his cum deep inside my bowels, over the next hour I was filled at both ends by all six men, the men then got dressed and left.

As Santa returned and released me he asked how I was and showed me to the shower, after I got dressed he invited me to take a seat and watch the video that was made for me so I can see who the other members were.

The video started to play and I aw myself laying on the bench, the doors opening and 6 men entering the room, I looked in disbelief as I noticed three of the men I knew, it was my homophobic father inlaw, his brother and his cousin (the Minister who married me), my face must have expressed my disbelief as Santa asked did I know them, when I said who they were he just smiled and said I know who do you think told me to target you that day.
since then my father in law has invited me to many camping trips with "the boys" and I have been introduced to many other inlaws by him.

And what more can I say but I am now very happily married and have not broken my promise.

 

[Jayman01]

Wow, I think you found more than a story. I was only able to read the first three pages before I had to go. I guess I will try to come back to it later... got to go now.

 

[Kodieboy]

Wow, that is quite a story. I was only able to read the first three pages before I had to go. I guess I will try to come back to it later... got to go now.

Well it did turn into stories lol

 

[Kodieboy]

Born Again ....... by Michael Gouda

We don't have to do much to create tragedy, just leave it to our genes with a dash of upbringing thrown in. All we can do is protest and usually that's not enough.

Jerome Palmer was reading a book and seemed completely engrossed in it in spite of the buzz of conversation which was going on all around him in the 6th form Common Room. I was in love with Jerome Palmer.

The conversation was that of young adolescents, discussions about CDs, boy/girlfriends, telly, the latest DVDs, occasional complaints about school and in some smaller groups the more esoteric whispers about sex, crime and drugs.

Everyone but me ignored Jerome's studious form and I wondered how Jerome could disregard all that was going on around him and concentrate on whatever he was reading. In fact of course I was doing similar, though the object of my attention was Jerome. I studied his head, long and dolichocephalic, the high forehead, the planes of his cheeks either side of his straight nose, the firm chin and lips parted in an almost-smile which just showed his two front teeth.

Not for the first time I was reminded of the artist Modigliani and the curious elongated forms he used in his paintings. The abnormally stretched neck, the pale extended fingers. Not that Jerome was in any way abnormal. It was just that I was doing art for my A level and had come across the artist in my work. On the contrary, Jerome in my eyes was perfect in every detail. If only, I thought, Jerome would take notice of my worship, for that was what it amounted to.

The light of the afternoon sun through the window caught Jerome's eyes and he twisted away, his body even more resembling the technique of the artist. I wondered what the touch of Jerome's skin would feel like, the skin which that sunlight played on so carelessly and with such affection.

"Grant. Heh, Grant Meadows," said a voice in my ear so that I jumped and looked round almost guiltily. Had my staring at Jerome been noticed? "You coming to the pub this evening? A group of us are going."

I shook my head. "You know I can never pass for eighteen," I said. "And I'm pissed off being turned out of pubs when I try to get in. Embarrassing."

Unfortunately I still had that bloom almost of childhood on my cheeks. Blond, blue-eyed, I envied Jerome who, though the same age as me, was dark with black hair and, by the end of the week, even had the traces of shadow on his chin and over his upper lip.

Not that Jerome ever went drinking. Did Jerome do anything that wasn't study? He seemed to keep himself aloof from the mundane material activities of the other students, the sexual jokes, the concealed smoking, the casual swearing when a teacher wasn't around. Was Jerome just a prude, I wondered, as the other students considered him? There was a sensuality about his mouth that made me think that, if only that surface veneer of stuffiness could be somehow got through, all hell would break out.

I could scarcely understand the almost obsessive attraction I felt for Jerome. I'd no more than twice ever spoken to him, and then words of the most casual nature. I'd touched him once, once when Jerome had dropped his books and I had picked up one and held it out to him. Our fingers had brushed and I had felt such a surge of emotion that it almost seemed like an electric shock. Surely Jerome must have felt it too, but the expression on his face scarcely changed. There was a muted 'Thanks', and Jerome had almost immediately turned away.

The bell for the end of the last period rang and the students started filing out, anxious not to miss the remainder of the sunny day. The form tutor ticked them off in the register as they left. He peered into the common room empty now except for Jerome and me.

"Come on, you two," he said. "You staying all weekend?"

I looked at Jerome and smiled but Jerome wasn't looking at me. He'd marked the place in the book he was reading and now was packing it away in the document case he always carried.

We went out together - or at least at the same time - through the school doors and down the path that led to the street. Jerome turned left as I knew he would and I went with him, keeping up with him, shoulder to shoulder, even though my house was in the other direction.

Though September, it was still warm and a faint haze covered the sun. Along the road the leaves of the plane trees were turning brown and some had already fallen so that they lay in the gutters where the wind had blown them.

I scuffed them with my shoes. "I always used to do this when I was a kid," I said. "It used to be fun. I can't see the point now."

Jerome turned and looked at me. The expression on his pale, thin face showed surprise, almost as if he hadn't realised I was still there.

"It messes up your shoes," he said. Were these the first words he had said to me except for 'hello', 'good-bye', 'thank you'? The phrase was essentially trivial but I tried to fix it in my mind. I wondered whether it was supposed to be a reproof, the sort that a house-proud mother would say to a misbehaving child, but Jerome's tone had been completely factual. He was right; scuffing leaves did mess up your shoes.

"You don't live this way," said Jerome.

I was surprised. I hadn't realised that Jerome was interested enough to know which way I normally went home.

"Mum's out," I said, which was true. "I'm going to visit my aunt," (which was a lie) "or I may go into town for a coffee." I paused. "Fancy a cup?" I asked. "My shout."

For a moment I thought I saw a gleam of enthusiasm in those brown, lustrous eyes, almost a twist of a smile in the lips, but then Jerome said, "I'm sorry. I don't drink."

I felt a spurt of irritation. "I wasn't asking you for a booze-up," I said. "Just a coffee - as a friend."

Jerome had the grace to look embarrassed. "I - we - I don't take stimulants - of any sort," he said. Then after a pause, "It was nice of you to ask."

"You could have had a Coke."

"That's just as bad," said Jerome. "There's more caffeine in one of them than a cup of coffee."

"Or a glass of water," I said.

Jerome laughed. That was something of a breakthrough. I glanced at him. There was more animation in the thin face with the high cheekbones than I had ever seen before.

We approached Jerome's house. At the gate he paused. "I'm afraid I can't ask you in."

"That's all right," I said. "Got the plague?"

Jerome didn't laugh. "Er . . . My parents don't like people who aren't. . ." He stopped and again looked embarrassed.

"Human?" I said, trying to keep it light.

"Of the Faith," said Jerome. It came out as a rush.

"The Faith?"

Was Jerome a Muslim, I wondered. I tried to think back to my R.E. lessons and those on comparative religion. Surely if he were he had to pray three times a day, wasn't it?, facing Mecca. Yet Jerome came into School Assembly even when there was occasionally a Christian religious slant to it. A prayer at least. Had Jerome gone out with the others, Jews, Hindus, Sikhs? I was pretty sure he hadn't. I waited for Jerome to explain but obviously he felt he had said enough, or perhaps even too much.

"Must go in," said Jerome, opening the garden gate and closing it firmly behind him.

I thought I saw a face peering past the curtains of the downstairs room. Then it was gone before even I could make out whether it was male or female.

Jerome turned to me. "Perhaps . . . perhaps I could come to your house one day," he said. "What about - "

The front door opened and a woman stood there dressed in a long blue dress, almost like a robe. Her head was covered with another blue cloth. "Jerome," she called.

He turned away from me and walked, almost ran, up the path. The woman stood aside to let him through, gave me a sharp look and then went in herself. The door slammed close.

 

[Kodieboy]

Pt 2

I couldn't really explain my feelings for Jerome - not even to myself. I certainly couldn't put them into words. In fact I was rather frightened of trying to put them into words; there was something not quite right about having such a strong emotion for someone of my own sex, though I couldn't see it as perverse. It was just there and felt right. I felt that Jerome and I belonged together even though, perhaps because, we were so different. We had no tutorial groups together which was a good thing as I was sure that I would never have been able to concentrate on study if Jerome had been in the same room or, worse (no, better), sitting beside me.

As it was, when I saw him at break time or across the room in the canteen I would experience a surge of emotion which made my heart beat faster, my throat go dry, my palms grow moist. And of course Jerome had done nothing to encourage me. He was so beautifully contained, so secure in his own surroundings that he obviously needed no one else. Which in a way was all to the good. Had I seen Jerome chatting companionably with anyone else, or worse, becoming friendly with another student, I knew I would have been racked by the pains of jealousy.

And now there was that final hurried and obviously secret (because forbidden?) piece of conversation - 'come to your house'. Even the half-suggested time broken off by the appearance of that blue-robed hag. I cursed her. Who was she that she had interrupted that whispered confidence? And what had Jerome wanted to tell me? Could it just be disappointingly the nature of the 'Faith', or, more excitingly a plea to help him escape from the obviously harsh regime of his home life?

I wasn't though going to find out, not yet anyway. I wouldn't see Jerome again until Monday and the weekend stretched to infinity in front of me. I tried to think what I would normally do on a Friday evening but couldn't think of anything in particular. There had been that invitation to join the others in the pub - I knew which one they would be going to - but my earlier refusal would make it embarrassing for me just to turn up. Anyway I was sure that I'd still get told I was obviously too young to drink and asked to leave - or more embarrassingly still - allowed to buy a lemonade or a coke.

The alternatives seemed to be the telly or, perhaps the worst choice of all, my homework, usually left until the last possible moment on Sunday evening. I imagined Jerome conscientiously doing his as soon as he got in, and the thought of Jerome, his long neck bent over a book or writing pad, his dark hair falling over his forehead and perhaps being swept aside by an impatient hand, set me groaning with an almost physical desire just to be with him, just perhaps to watch. For what would I actually do if I was able to be alone with Jerome?

I couldn't imagine Jerome allowing anything more than the most casual of touches, hardly a return for my longing, yet those lips - sensual, carnal - mightn’t they really hint at a voluptuous, animal response?

After the evening meal I joined my parents, rather to their surprise, watching television. I was scarcely ever in on a Friday night but they didn't comment. I stared at the screen and had no idea what the program was. I was just about to go upstairs when the telephone rang in the hall. "I'll get it," I said to my mother, who was getting up to answer it.

"Probably for you anyway," she said.

"Is that you, Grant?" asked a voice when I'd given my number.

For a moment I couldn't place it and then, with a shock that made my legs weak, I did. "Jerome?"

"Can't be on for long. Can I come round tomorrow? 10 o'clock in the morning?"

"Yes, sure," I said. "Do you know where I live?"

There was a click on the line and a sort of hollow echo. Immediately Jerome's voice got louder. "Sorry, Grant, to trouble you, but I've forgotten my copy of Johnson's 'Elementary Calculus'. Left it at school. I don't suppose you've got one, have you?"

For a moment I wondered whether Jerome had gone mad. He knew that I didn't take any of the subjects he did. Much less Further Maths. In fact I had only just scraped through my GCSE in Maths and was hard put to work out whether the change I'd been given in a shop was correct or not. Then suddenly I realised. The click I had heard was someone else picking up an extension and was of course listening in.

"Pretty certain I've got it. I'll have a look," I said.

"Thank you. It was stupid of me to leave mine at school. I'll call in and collect it if that's all right."

"Sure," I said .

The receiver was put down, but before the dial tone started, I heard another click.

I lay on my bed fighting my imagination for I knew if I gave rein to it I was sure to be disappointed the following day. Jerome's planned visit was obviously not for the excuse or reason he had given, presumably for the benefit of the harpy in blue, unless there was a father also anxious to find out exactly what his son was doing. But if the calculus book reason was spurious, then what was the true reason?

I tried to imagine Jerome in my room, sitting perhaps on the bed. Would he be interested in the computer - probably not. He wouldn't drink a Coke and I doubted whether there were fruit juices in the fridge. I imagined gently placing my own hand on Jerome's leg and being harshly rebuffed. I sighed. Perhaps our conversation would be trivial and soon completed. Yet the idea that Jerome would be round at my house, had expressed a wish (perhaps a need) to see me, excited me.

Despite myself and my self-appointed strictures, I found I was imagining the two of us lying together on the bed, confused images of me feeling his limp penis through the material of his trousers, kissing an erection through white underpants, the feel of his skin against mine, kissing that mouth, those lips and a hardness pressing against my own groin. Would anything be possible? With great self-control I decided to save myself for tomorrow and rejected the urgent need to wank.

 

[Kodieboy]

Pt3

10 o'clock on a Saturday morning was not usually the time I was up and about, but after an uncharacteristically sleepless night I was down and having breakfast by nine.

"Good Heavens," said my mother. "What's up? And you're wearing a shirt and tie. It is Saturday isn't it?"

"Just felt like it," I said. I realised I was in a way trying to match the conventionality of Jerome. I didn't think he'd be wearing casual clothes. But my mother's comment made me realise that what I was wearing wasn't sexy at all. Tight jeans and a T-shirt would be more appropriate for a seduction. I realised that Jerome had never seen me when I wasn't wearing school uniform.

"Anyway," said my mother. "Do you want a cooked breakfast? You'll have to hurry because I'm off out in ten minutes. You'll have to get your own lunch. I won't be back until this afternoon."

"I'll make some toast," I said. "Where's Dad?"

My mother shrugged. "Out somewhere," she said. "I wouldn't count on him getting your lunch."

I didn't. I was only too pleased that both my parents were out and probably would still be when Jerome arrived. I decided I wasn't hungry so made a cup of coffee and went upstairs to change. After a short while I heard the front door bang. I was alone. I took a critical look at myself in the mirror. Was I, could I possibly be thought attractive? I could never be sure. Did I look too babyish, that blond hair which curled slightly, the blue eyes - aquamarine, I hoped, or were they just washed out? The jeans I was wearing clung tightly to my thighs and the outline of my cock and balls showed. Were they too obvious? Would they scandalise Jerome rather than turning him on? I arranged myself so that I wasn't too conspicuous. My chest wasn't too bad and the T-shirt showed off what muscles I had. Was white a good colour? Perhaps a blue which matched my eyes would be better. Another half hour - and that was if Jerome was on time, though I couldn't imagine Jerome being anything but punctual.

The front door bell shrilled and I jumped away feeling slightly embarrassed at my narcissistic examination in the mirror.

"Coming," I shouted as I ran down the stairs.

At the door I paused anxious not to be thought too eager. Then I smiled and opened it. The postman stood outside holding a package. My smile vanished.

"Name of Meadows," he said. "Package to be signed for." He thrust it into my hands together with a clipboard and a pen. It was for my father but I juggled with all three, managed to scribble a signature before dropping the package. As I bent to pick it up, I heard someone say "Grant," and standing I saw Jerome had taken the place of the postman. I dropped the package again. We both bent down and our heads cracked together. It was not an auspicious beginning.

Jerome looked fine. He wasn't wearing a suit as I feared but a plain V-necked pullover and no shirt underneath, so I could see a triangle of flesh below the tendons of his neck. His trousers weren't too baggy either, though unfortunately not tight enough to see much. As I stood for the third time I was uncomfortably aware that my equipment had readjusted itself and was fairly prominent. I also think I was aware that Jerome had noticed this fact though his glance didn't linger.

He was smiling. "Sorry," he said at the identical time as I said the same.

"Come in," I said.

He hesitated. "I just wanted to explain about yesterday," he said. "It won't take long."

My hopes plummeted. But I wasn't going to let him get away with it so easily. "Not on the doorstep," I said and, grabbing him by the arm, I hauled him inside. Much as I'd have liked to I didn't think I could take him upstairs to my bedroom, so we went into the room my parents called the lounge and I thought of as the front room. I sat him down on the sofa before he could choose a single armchair and plumped myself down beside him closer than absolutely necessary. There was room for three but I didn't want a one-person space in between.

I put on my best hostess manner. "I know you won't drink coffee or cola," I said. "What about a glass of milk?" I assumed there was milk in the fridge.

"Not for me," he said. No wonder the guy was so thin. No sugars, no fats. "I'll have a glass of water please."

"Right," I said "Sparkling or flat?"

He looked a little bemused, a small frown appearing between those dark eyebrows. I love eyebrows. I loved HIS eyebrows. I could scarcely stop myself from leaning forward and planting a light kiss on them.

"As it comes," he said, "from the tap."

I thought for a moment it was a joke and was prepared to laugh appreciatively but his face remained the same - serious, almost solemn -so I sprang up. "Make yourself at home. Put your feet up, take off something." I laughed to show it was a joke, though of course it wasn't. And of course he hadn't when I returned with two glasses of water.

For a moment I considered spilling it onto his crotch and then insisting that he took off his trousers to replace them with a dry pair of mine, but naturally I didn't.

We sipped companionably. To me the water tasted of nothing, or perhaps slightly of chemicals. Jerome, though, finished half the glass. He must have been thirsty or perhaps he was nervous and his mouth was dry.

I was sitting close to him. Our thighs touched. I felt his warmth and then realised that I was getting an erection which would be immediately obvious so I put down my glass and folded my hands in my lap.

"OK, Jerome," I said relishing the name. "Tell me all."

Well, he'd said it wouldn't take long. In fact it did. There was first a hesitation as if he didn't know where to begin.

"The Faith," I suggested. Then he apologised for not being able to ask me in yesterday.

"I understand," I said. "Who'd want a layabout like me in a respectable person's house?"

He explained it was nothing like that just that his parents were very strict - and - and -

"The Faith," I said.

"Yes," he said almost gratefully. "I'm so glad you understand."

"But I don't," I said. "What IS the Faith?"

Eventually I got to the heart of the matter. The Faith was apparently a very strict religious Christian (I suppose in that it had Christ as its head) sect. It was composed of 500 people who believed that they were the Chosen, no more, no less. There were all sorts of prohibitions and injunctions which seemed to make it a dismal sort of lifestyle.

"Don't you have any fun?" I asked.

"Fun," he said as if the concept was unknown to him.

"And you're one of the five hundred?" I asked.

"After a great deal of training," he said, "I've been accepted. And of course my parents are members."

I immediately found a flaw. "If the children of members are accepted, even after a great deal of training, surely you'll soon exceed the limit."

"The old ones die off at the other end and find Paradise," said Jerome. Again I glanced at him to see if he was joking but there was no smile. "And if of course there aren't any spaces, we don't recruit."

"Are there any spaces now?" I asked out of curiosity.

"About fifty," he said. I could quite understand that. It couldn't be all that popular a religion what with all the 'Thou shalt nots' etc.

"But don't you ever get the urge to rebel," I asked, "like any normal teenaged guy?"

Get me, I thought, as if I knew what 'normal' was. Gay I might be, but at least I didn't make myself miserable about it.

"Of course," he said. "That's my sin."

"And what about the lie about the calculus book? And what's going to happen when you get home without it? There was someone listening on the extension last night you know."

Jerome felt in the back pocket of his trousers and produced a slim volume. 'Elementary Calculus' I read, by R.J.S. Johnson.

"It was my father," he said, "and I'll confess in my prayers tonight, but I had to explain. It wasn't you. I like you."

He said it with all the simplicity of a child yet it evoked a feeling of great joy in me. I moved nearer and pressed his leg with mine. I noticed he didn't withdraw his. Could I even feel a little return pressure? I turned to look at him.

As I did so, he sprang up. "I must go," he said. "They'll be waiting for me."

"Do you have to?" I asked.

"I'm afraid so." He sounded genuinely disappointed.

"Can't you come over tomorrow?"

"Sunday!" he said almost horrified. "Sunday's the day of worship."

"All day?"

"Of course."

I watched him go down the path and turn in the direction of his house. Before he disappeared behind our next door neighbour's privet hedge, he turned and gave a little wave.

I almost blew him a kiss.

Almost.

 

[Kodieboy]

Pt 4

So that was it. Nothing had happened and yet, I thought, something had. Jerome liked me. He liked me. He liked me. Now what did that mean? 'Like' was such a weak, ineffectual word. Now if he'd said, "I love you, Grant" or "I desire you" or "I fancy you" I'd have known what to do and I could have taken it on from there - but "I like you"? And then he'd got up and gone away.

Now I wouldn't see him until Monday, and then how would he react? Would there be a difference in the way he behaved? Could I bear it if he was exactly the same, contained, private, self-sufficient, with just a cool nod in my direction - or perhaps not even that?

I did my homework. It passed the time. I got through Saturday and then Sunday. I thought of Jerome in his cheerless 'day of worship'. But was it cheerless? Did he, perhaps, feel an overwhelming surge of joy as he praised the Lord, or whatever they did, comparable with the feeling I had when I saw him across a crowded room? I couldn't imagine it myself but perhaps it was so - and if so, what chance had I with my puny human mind and body against the appeal of his Almighty? The only consolation I had was that Jerome and I were human, beings of flesh and blood, whereas God was numinous - whatever that might mean. Untouchable in a physical sense.

That was the one advantage I had.

I was terrified when I went into school on Monday morning. So terrified that I almost didn't go. I wandered around the back streets avoiding anyone in school uniform. I even thought about going into the Library but of course it wasn't open that early. Eventually I told myself not to be a stupid fucking arsehole and went into school.

It was of course worse than I'd expected. If I had got in early I could at least have hidden my (and Jerome's) reaction in a group of chattering students. As it was the class was in the morning form assembly and of course everyone turned to look at me as I tried to sneak in unobtrusively - some chance! My form tutor increased my embarrassment with some sarcastic comment about my arriving so late it was almost lunchtime.

"Sorry, sir," I mumbled.

Immediately I saw Jerome. As usual he was sitting alone with a spare seat either side of him looking self-possessed, alone but not lonely. Then he looked at me and smiled.

He smiled.

I crashed towards him, grinning like a lunatic, tripping over legs and causing some complaints which I ignored, then sitting down beside Jerome my shoulder and upper arm touching his.

"When you've finished disrupting the form, Meadows," said the tutor, but I didn't care.

I was sitting next to my beloved and he had smiled at me.

 

[Kodieboy]

Pt 5

And that was how it all started. Not that there was anything overtly physical about our relationship, not on his side anyway, but we'd spend break times together, casually drifting close and chatting, more often than not about my courses (History of Art, English, Politics - a failure, that) rather than his. Physics, Chemistry, Further Maths meant nothing to me and though I longed to know about what was important to Jerome, I really couldn't comprehend such abstruse subjects.

Sometimes we'd just sit together and I'd watch him reading or working out some difficult mathematical problem in his notebook. I didn't stare of course, as that might have invited comment, but I'd glance occasionally at him, see a frown on his forehead and wish I could kiss it away or look at those fine, slender fingers, surely more of an artist's than a scientist’s - though why a scientist couldn't have beautiful fingers I don't know - and I would picture them holding parts of me - well, one part of me really. And then I'd work myself into a state and have to hide it with a copy of Chaucer's 'Canterbury Tales' or Petronius' 'Satyricon' (very appropriate – its character's name, Encolpius, literally means 'in the crotch') until I could control myself.

Occasionally I'd just follow him as he walked along a corridor, his body slim and elegant, his buttocks moving easily, athletically under the cloth of his trousers, his shoulders broad, his waist narrow. I knew sometimes that he watched me. I could feel those beautiful eyes fixed on me, though what part of me he saw and what he was thinking, I did not know. When I met his eyes, he'd smile and look away.

Once walking back after school towards his house, I put my arm casually around his shoulders - as close friends do. He didn't draw away; on the contrary he moved into me so that I felt his body down my side, but a little later he gently disengaged himself.

"What if someone saw?" he said.

"They'd think we were friends," I said.

"Not ordinary people. What if one of the Faith saw?"

"Don't they like ordinary human companionship?" I asked.

"They're not comfortable with it."

You'd think we could have seen each other at weekends, but it wasn't the case. It wasn't that he wasn't allowed out, just that he had to account for everywhere he went and anyone he saw. Members of the Faith were OK, but I was something different. A flippant non-believer with, did they but know it, designs on their son, designs of the most carnal sort. Or perhaps they weren't only carnal. It was just that I loved him so much and the only way I could think of expressing it was through my body - and his, of course.

It was obvious though that Jerome was, to some extent at least, as unsatisfied as I was. He'd pause at the corner just before we turned to his house and delay leaving me, hanging back to continue a conversation which had really been well and truly finished some time before. He'd touch me on my chest with a finger to make a point. Sometimes in the common room, where there was a sofa which sat four with comfort, he'd insinuate himself next to me with a muttered 'Room for one more?' so that he and I would be touching all the way down and parts of him seemed to cover parts of me, and I, loving it, grew anxious that his effect on me would be noticed by the others. But it wasn't. Perhaps they were having too much of a good time themselves.

"I wish we could go out together," I said on one occasion as we dilly-dallied, shilly-shallied on the corner of the road. "Like friends do, the films or something, even a walk into the countryside. Or the Literary Festival in Feltenham next month. Your parents couldn't object to that surely. It's study!"

He looked doubtful then, suddenly, his brow cleared. He'd come up with an idea.

And so our plan was formed.

To be honest it wasn't the sort of thing that I expected Jerome to think of, remembering his beliefs. Looking back on it I guess it told of his deep feelings for me, though at the time I never thought of this. If it worked it would allow him and me to be together and that was the important thing, certainly for me, presumably also for him. The idea was that I was interested in joining the Faith. Anyone who knew me would know how ridiculous this was, but Jerome's parents didn't know me. I looked like a very young, perhaps innocent blond boy, gullible and, at my age, just ripe for becoming a devotee of an esoteric cult.

If it sounds dishonest for me then surely it was more so for Jerome, already a believer. But perhaps he genuinely believed I could be converted. I was blind but I give him the benefit of the doubt.

Of course his parents had to see me, vet me, and I was invited to tea. Tea was a misnomer. Nervously I sat on the edge of a very hard wooden chair. There seemed little of comfort in that grey house - there was a large unadorned wooden cross on the wall which seemed to dominate the room, a grey carpet with a very thin pile, a table on which was some sliced bread with a scraping of margarine already spread and a jug of water.

"We eat frugally," said Jerome's mother. "There is too much self-gratification in the world."

Not here, I thought, but restrained myself with a sage nod.

There was a long grace before we were allowed to 'tuck in'. It was a good thing I wasn't hungry for there were only two half slices per person - I counted them.

Mrs Palmer was dressed in that blue robe and scarf over her head which I had seen earlier. She had once been a good-looking woman but her face was marred by a permanent frown and lines down the side of her face. Mr Palmer was tall like Jerome but seemed insignificant, entirely under the influence of his wife. Neither seemed overjoyed by their religious conversion. It seemed sad.

We ate in silence and finished up with another long prayer.

"I hear you are interested in our Faith?" said Mrs Palmer.

"Very interested," I said. "Jerome has been telling me about it, telling me of your beliefs. It seems a religion which is necessary in this sinful world." I wondered if I sounded sincere.

"It is part of the Christian religion," said Mrs Palmer, "though it goes further. It is a naughty world. Most will not find paradise with our Lord."

I nodded, feeling there was little I could say.

"But do not think you will be allowed in easily. You must spend much time with Jerome who will instruct you."

"That is what I most devoutly wish," I said, for the first time telling the truth.

It seemed to go down well for she nodded and allowed Mr Palmer to speak for the first time.

"Jerome is a good boy," he said.

Mrs Palmer assumed that to be an expression of agreement, as did I. We were allowed out. "Show your friend out, Jerome," she said, "and then you must do your homework."

A little unnerved but with a light heart I went out with Jerome into the bare hall and then into the evening. Before he could open the door I reached out and grabbed his hand, holding it in mine, squeezing it, feeling his warm palm. I felt an answering pressure.

"Does this mean we can spend more time together?" I asked.

"Of course." Even in the gloom I could see his smile.

"Tomorrow?"

There was a sound of a chair being scraped back from the room behind us. Jerome dropped my hand and opened the door. Outside it was still warm and the air smelled fresh and clear. There was a hint of honeysuckle, though I don't know where it came from because the Palmer's garden contained nothing but a brutally shorn front lawn.

"Come out now," I begged.

"I can't," he said. "I have my homework to do."

"Tomorrow then."

The door from inside opened. A dark shape appeared in the doorway.

"Ten o'clock," he whispered. "I'll come round."

I danced down the street. Everything was beautiful. The sky had a pink tinge to it. I found the source of the honeysuckle scent in next door's hedge, entwined through a crimson rose. But dark clouds piled in the southwest.

 

[Kodieboy]

Pt 6

I didn't have to worry about what to wear that next morning. We had become so comfortable with each other that I didn't really care what he saw me in. I had a shower though, first thing, and then felt that a blue shirt and dark trousers were suitable. I'm not obsessed with clothes or designer labels and stuff but I like to look good.

"You look nice," said Mum. "Who's the lucky girl?"

"Jerome's coming round," I said. "We may go out later and meet some friends." I had to keep up the fiction.

"You'll get wet," she said.

I looked out of the window. A leaden grey sky hinted at the sort of rain that would go on all day. I wasn't to be put down though. "We'll think of something," I said. "What's a little rain?"

Dad was out - as usual. Mum didn't seem to know where either.

The first few drops of rain were falling making round marks on the pavement the size of penny pieces when Jerome arrived, on time of course. Because Mum was in the front room studying for her Open University degree, I took him upstairs. It wasn't the real reason, but it was what I told him.

He looked around my room, staring at some pictures I'd framed and hung on the walls. I'd downloaded them from the Internet and they were all of handsome guys; not porn of course, but they sure were handsome and sexy.

Jerome didn't actually comment. He sat down on the only chair and I sat on the bed. "Do you want to look up anything on the computer?" I asked.

"I have things to tell you about the Faith," he said seriously.

"Do we have to, at the moment?"

"My mother insists," he said. "It is why we are together."

"OK." I said.

"First," he said, "the most important. Jesus saves."

"With the Woolwich," I cracked the old joke but realised immediately it was the wrong thing to do.

"You must be serious," Jerome said. "Otherwise I must go."

"Sorry."

So he told me about the beliefs and practices of the Faith. How it was only by following these that I could be saved (with the other 499 or at least as many as had joined at the moment). How I could attain 'inner joy' from belonging.

I wondered about his parents. Did they have 'inner joy'? It certainly didn't show outside. Now when I felt an inner joy, like when I was near Jerome, it always showed itself in an outer expression like laughing or just smiling, or feeling the need to dance around.

But I sat and listened and agreed where appropriate until I could stand it no longer. "Enough for today," I said. "I need a break."

Jerome seemed to understand. He smiled, almost seemed a little bit relieved, as if he had done his job and now he could have a bit of time off.

"Do you want some refreshment?" I asked. "Something other than water?"

"I'd like a glass of milk," he said.

I went downstairs, poured two glasses, grabbed some biscuits from the tin and went back up. I went in quietly and surprised him standing up and looking at the pictures on the wall. He looked a little embarrassed but I didn't comment.

"Come and sit here," I said, patting the bed next to me.

He did and drank the milk thirstily. I offered him a biscuit, and tentatively, almost as if he'd never eaten one before (perhaps he hadn't), he took a nibble. Obviously he decided he liked it because he took a larger bite and when he'd finished accepted another.

I finished my milk, took Jerome's glass and put them both down. I laughed as I saw his appreciation of the biscuits. They were nothing special, just digestives, not even chocolate coated, but they might have been the most expensive delicacy in the world.

"Why are you laughing?" he asked.

"I'm just pleased to see you enjoying yourself," I said.

He looked so attractive there on my bed, lying slightly back, supported on his elbows. I couldn't help myself. I put my arm round his body and pulled him back.

"What are you doing?" he said, not struggling but obviously wary.

"Wrestling," I said. "It's what friends do. You're supposed to fight back, grab hold of me."

He did, though tentatively at first, and I remembered his reluctance to being touched. But then, when I got him in a hold and was almost lying on top of him, he struggled free, grasping me abound the waist. I was laughing and then so was he. Was he having fun as his body wound itself round and across mine, arms and legs grasping, parts of us pressed together for a while until we struggled free to try another position.

I was certainly having fun. I was getting excited. Wrong! I WAS excited. I had a real hardon though I tried to avoid pressing it into parts of Jerome as we twisted together. I could smell him and there were times when my face was into bits of his body, his neck, his armpit, once – whoops, careful - in his groin. He smelled of clean soap and something special which was Jerome, slightly musky, sweet.

If anything, we got closer, his body round mine, his groin pressed against my hip. I could not avoid pushing myself into it. There was a hardness, I swear. His leg was over me and he must surely have been able to feel my own erection.

Suddenly he clasped me even harder, pulled me, if possible, closer. He was no longer smiling or laughing. His eyes for a moment were unfocused. His body went rigid and for a moment I feared he was having a fit. Then he shuddered and gave a long drawn-out groan. For a further time we lay there, he clasping me so tightly that I could scarcely breathe, then he released me, got up off the bed and turned away.

"I must go," he said, almost a cry.

"It's chucking it down outside. You can't go now."

"I must go," he repeated.

"Tell me more about the Faith."

His answer was another groan and he turned, pounded down the stairs and was out of the front door into the driving rain.

I tried to find an explanation. Had he come? Or was he just on the point of coming and had stopped himself in time? Or was he nowhere near coming just had felt my erection and been frightened off? I didn't know, but I did know that my erection was there and needed the most urgent attention. I gave it what it required. And afterwards in a state of post-orgasmic lassitude, I wondered whether the experience had ended my friendship with Jerome forever.

 

[Kodieboy]

Pt 7

Certainly there was a distance, a coolness when I saw him on Monday. He seemed reluctant to greet me. In fact when I met his eye, he looked away and when I went across to him he almost pushed past me and went out of the room.

But I wasn't going to let him get away with that. I cornered him at morning break. Actually I met him as he was crossing the playground. Younger kids were running about making a great deal of noise. Jerome looked very miserable and when a boy, running away from another and not looking where he was going, bumped into Jerome, I saw an uncharacteristic flash of anger cross his face. He even raised his fist almost as if he was going to hit the kid.

"Jerome," I called and he looked over to see me and looked ashamed. "What's up?" I asked. "Are you pissed off with me?"

He shook his head though didn't say anything.

"Was it what we did on Saturday. You know - the fooling around? It didn't mean anything. Just a bit of fun."

He looked at me straight in the eye and I knew that he was aware exactly what the 'fooling around' had been about.

"I'm angry with myself," he said. "I sinned."

"What is a sin?" I asked.

"An offence against the Lord Jesus."

I got cross myself. "In my view a sin is something that harms someone else. What we did harmed no one. We didn't even do anything."

He didn't reply.

So, for a day or two there was a slight constraint between us, but I persevered, reminding him that his parents had entrusted me to him. I feared I'd get the 'I'm not worthy' spiel but he didn't go that far, though he might have thought it.

Anyway, I flatter myself that he wanted to be with me, that whatever had happened in that little wrestling match was something that wouldn't be repeated, was something that he could control. Gradually we were back to how it had been before, though perhaps not quite as close. He wouldn't touch me, though when I casually touched him he didn't exactly shy away as if I was Satan incarnate. And he told me more about the Chosen Faith and how they lived and how they would find eternal joy at the end. “Joy,” I sometimes thought, “but no fun.”

And how did I feel? Did I believe? Did I love Jesus? I didn't know. I guess I was looking for something to believe in as often adolescents are at that age, searching for an idealistic belief in something, someone other than myself. And if there had been a group of youngsters in 'the Chosen' I might have joined completely and unquestioningly. But the members, as I found when I attended one of their Worship meetings, were mostly old or middle-aged and, like Mr and Mrs Palmer, lacking in any of the external signs of joy. Only sitting next to Jerome, my Guide as they called him, made the experience bearable. They praised the Lord, but with a fervour that seemed to me to border on desperation.

I loved Jesus through Jerome, or rather Jesus IN Jerome, and if that sounds blasphemous I'm sorry, but it was true. Actually my physical desire for him was under control - though I'd have had him like a shot if the situation ever occurred - but I was prepared to be with him without being overwhelmed by physical desire. Indeed, as time went by and, presumably when I showed no signs of flinging myself on him, Jerome and I would touch each other companionably, as friends (and footballers) do.

And it was then that we had the other great idea.

Half term was coming up, the weather had developed into that strange little period called 'St Luke's Little Summer'. Where at the end of autumn when it should be the start of frosts, there is a period of warmth, almost as if summer is returning for one last fling. What would Jerome say to the two of us going for a camping trip into perhaps the Malverns or even the Black Mountains for a few days? More importantly what would his parents think of the idea? I knew mine wouldn't object and Dad had a little two-man tent stored in the garage which we could use, relic of some expedition he'd made years ago. I had a sleeping bag, and if Jerome didn't have one, Dad also had a spare one of these. We could go into the countryside, talk, commune with Nature - I wasn't sure exactly what that meant, but I used the phrase in my persuasive spiel.

To my surprise, the Palmers didn't object, were indeed quite supportive. It was Jerome who needed the persuading. I could see he wanted to come but I also noted a slight reluctance. Was it the fact that we'd be sleeping in such close proximity? If anything it was his parents' enthusiasm that made his decision. Perhaps they thought that this period of religious propaganda would be the final thing that made me suitable to one of the Chosen.

So it was decided.

We planned a route. I persuaded him that casual clothes and boots were essential, that pyjamas weren't necessary. Jerome blushed when I mentioned this so that I knew he usually wore these at home - probably had to sleep with his hands on top of the covers, or wearing boxing gloves. OK - I still thought of sex, but not all the time. We took a small spirit stove to cook on. I saw bangers and mash as an almost staple diet with occasional bacon and eggs and from Jerome's expression those apparently sounded to him like esoteric fare. We could take fruit for essential vitamins and sliced bread for bulk. I even managed to persuade him that decaffeinated coffee contained little if any stimulants but that we'd need a hot drink from time to time - other than hot water.

On the Saturday we set off.

Our town is small. You soon get into the country, and the day we started was a day of green and gold, gold buttercups and creeping masses of cinquefoil with their gold potentilla flowers, feathery bunches of bright yellow ladies bedstraw, and overall the gold sun shining through the leaves of the trees to make dappled shade on the grass. We walked along a path probably created and used by deer, found a bank, sat and ate our lunch. It was quite magical, the fresh, clean smell of the turf, the warmth of the sun and the presence of Jerome, leaves, grass and the last wildflowers of summer which wouldn't outlive the first frost.

The perfect day, and we found the perfect place for our tent, a field of pasture, luckily without cows or sheep, which led down to a river bordered with rushes and teasel. The farmer at the adjoining farmhouse was quite happy to let us pitch our tent for a fiver. And we could use the tap and he even sold us some milk, still warm from the cows. I think that was strictly against the law, but we wouldn't tell.

"Don't leave any mess," he said and we promised we wouldn't.

We pitched our tent, which in itself was quite an adventure. Of course I'd done it before but a long time ago and I got all the guy ropes (is that what they're called?) muddled and it was Jerome, who'd of course never put up a tent before in his life, who sorted them out and eventually found that I'd actually been trying to put the bloody thing up inside out. Scientific mind, I guess.

As a reward I cooked the meal, really haute cuisine, bacon and eggs, fried in fat with some really greasy fried bread though nicely browned. I feared that Jerome would decide he was a vegetarian, strict - so neither pig meat nor unborn chickens (see how little we knew about each other, mainly I suppose because our time together had been so limited), but perhaps he was just too hungry because he wolfed down all I put in front of him and then we had a weak coffee and biscuits.

Later, as the sun was setting, we walked along the river bank. I saw a water vole and pointed it out to Jerome. "Some people call them water rats," I said. "Of course it's 'Ratty' in 'The Wind in the Willows'."

Jerome had never heard of the book, so I said I'd get a copy the following day and read it to him. We made plans - but as somebody said (Burns?) 'The best laid schemes o' mice and men gang aft agley'. Or something like that.

It gets dark early at that time of the year, so we decided it would be best to get to bed as soon as it was really dark. We did have a couple of torches but didn't want to use up the batteries too early. Going to bed in fact was another adventure. Jerome wouldn't undress in the open air and I decided not to, so we both had to strip inside the tent, which was a bit of a crush to say the least. I guess we could have done it separately but I'd no intention of allowing Jerome to get undressed without me watching.

In the event it was ‘fun’ rather than ‘joyous’. We got in each other's way, fell over onto the sleeping bags, especially in the removing of the trouser operation. Of course we didn't get naked. Even I didn't fancy sleeping au naturel. Even in St Luke's Little Summer it still gets pretty nippy at night.

I did manage to get quite a look at Jerome's bulge in his underwear, rather old-fashioned, sagging pair they were but enough to get my head singing. Whether he appreciated the true glory of my Calvin Kleins I don't know, but he couldn't have missed them because I paraded them quite ostentatiously before they and everything else were covered by the demure concealment of the sleeping bags.

We chatted for a while and Jerome said a prayer and I responded with a hearty 'Amen'. In fact I was indeed grateful to whatever deity had allowed me to spend this time with my boyfriend. Did I think of him as this? Perhaps in my heart of hearts.

I can't say I slept well; I was probably too excited. After a while I heard Jerome's quiet, regular breathing and knew that he was asleep - so much for the unspoken wish that he'd need comforting or something. However, I could live with that. We were together and that would have to be enough.

 

[Kodieboy]

Pt 8

The following morning, we were up early. It had suddenly turned colder and we shivered as we went with our soap and towels to the farmer's tap. Cold water of course and a shock to the system. The farm was up and busy and two collie dogs barked at us as we shouted and shivered at the icy water. The farmer's wife came out and told us we could use an outside lavatory which was useful as otherwise it would have had to be under a bush or digging a hole. We asked whether we could stay another night and she agreed.

The two dogs saw us off the premises though by this time they seemed quite friendly and wagged their tails. With the remains of last night's milk I made some porridge which was the sort of breakfast to see us through what was certainly going to be a much colder day than the one before.

Then we went into the village which was pretty but only had one shop which sold 'everything' except what I wanted - a copy of 'The Wind in the Willows'. It did have some children's books but they were of the calibre of 'The Adventures of Floog the Rabbit' and full of brightly coloured pictures. I bought some chocolate though and we had lunch there - a sandwich, the chocolate and some fizzy water from a rather dubious spa town.

Afterwards we walked back along a lane which had a sign post saying: To the Church. I'm not sure of the reason but quite a few of these little country villages have churches which are at least a couple of miles outside. Perhaps in times long past the villages were much bigger or perhaps the original village has now disappeared and is marked on the OS maps with that intriguing comment 'Site of Medieval Village'.

After a while we reached the church, a simple single building with no transepts or towers or apses or anything and I thought it would probably be locked up but it wasn't. A board outside marked with weather-eroded paint proclaimed 'The Church of St Magnus the Martyr'. We went in, turning the great handle and pushing open the heavy oak door. Inside it was dark, the windows being little more than narrow vertical slits with some plain glass in them, shrouded in the dirt of centuries. Disappointingly there was little to see. Some pews of almost undecorated wood, at the east end a rough table, entirely unadorned - a bit like the one in Jerome's house. In fact it was as plain and simple as somewhere taken over by the Chosen of the Faith.

Our footsteps echoed on the stone floor. I wondered if it was deserted and no longer in use. Then I heard Jerome gasp. He was standing in the centre of the nave and looking up.

I followed his gaze.

High up, fastened to a beam which crossed the full width of the church was a crucifix - not just a cross but one on which was a representation of the crucified Christ. I saw why Jerome had gasped. Though shrouded in the gloom it was astonishingly lifelike. Tall, thin, etiolated in suffering, the body, naked except for a wisp of material about his loins, had something of the characteristics of a Modigliani. Tendons stood out as the figure arched away from the nails and tried to ease his distress; the face was a mask of despair and agony.

Jerome sank to his knees on the dusty floor and I joined him though I was looking up, a strange feeling of giddiness making my eyes blur. For a moment the face on the crucifix was Jerome's. I stretched out my hand and grasped Jerome's like a drowning man reaching for help. The warmth of his hand restored me to something like normality and I got to my feet, turned and dragged him out of that terrible place.

Outside we were both too cowed to say anything.

We walked around the untidy graveyard and out into the open country. Little by little the feeling of awe decreased until, by the time we reached the river and turned along the bank in the direction of our campsite we were almost back to normal.

I tried to shake off the remnants of the feeling by doing silly things, jumping over ditches which were almost too wide to cross, doing cartwheels where there was an imminent danger of landing in a cowpat, chasing through a flock of sheep so that they scattered all over the field. The farmer, if he had seen me, would have been furious.

Gradually I persuaded Jerome out of the strange lethargy into which he had fallen and eventually he condescended to join me in my lunacy. We dared each other to do mad things, walk along a narrow wooden bar, straddle jump a five-barred gate. I don't exactly know what we were doing except that we were proving we were alive and fit after experiencing the death agonies in that church.

We must have spent longer than I thought in these stupid activities because it was getting dark before we could see our little tent. We could have gone straight to it but there was one last challenge I noticed. The river did a small ox-bow and across it a branch from a tree had fallen making the straight side of a capital D as it were.

"Cross that if you dare," I challenged.

"I will if you will," Jerome said.

Someone, something should have stopped us but nothing did. I stepped onto the branch testing it for strength. It seemed strong enough though it bounced alarmingly. I knew I had to keep it as still as possible so I made my way along it trying to keep my weight steady.

In the middle I paused, aware that the bank looked a long way away and that the branch was bouncing again. I stopped until everything steadied down. The water under me looked grey and unpleasant. I continued balancing myself with my arms outstretched and reached the other end safely.

"My turn," said Jerome.

"Not worth it," I said. "It's no big thing."

Without saying another word, Jerome stepped onto the branch and I watched him. It was darker, the grey clouds covering the sky without a break. Everything was very quiet and no birds sang.

Jerome took two steps and the branch started to bounce crazily.

"Take it very easy," I said. "Try to keep your weight distributed."

 

[Kodieboy]

He waited a little and then moved on. Then suddenly he lost it, his arms flailed, the branch twisted and flung him off. There was a splash and he was floundering in the murky water. I hadn't realised it was so deep, thinking it was perhaps only a couple of feet but he didn't seem to be able to find the bottom.

"Swim over here," I shouted.

His mouth opened, and I could see water flow in so that he coughed and choked. Suddenly I realised he couldn't swim. Splashing wildly, it seemed that he had moved further out into the river.

"Christ," I shrieked and flung myself into the water. It was bitterly cold and of course my clothes dragged me down, but I'm a strong swimmer and Jerome was only a few yards out. But he was panicking. One of his flailing arms hit me and pushed me under. I knew if he grabbed me he could drown us both. I surfaced and found I was a little way from him. "Keep still," I shouted. "I'll get you out."

His eyes were wide with fear but he heard me and for a moment he ceased in his wild struggling, just enough for me to grab him, turn him on his back and pull him towards me so that he rested on my chest.

"You're OK, Jerome," I said and backstroked towards land. Once he struggled when a wavelet flowed over his face, but I held him strongly and he quietened. I felt solid ground under my back and was able to stand up, pulling him with me. We slipped on the slimy bottom but got out onto the land.

Jerome stood there, shaking probably with fright but also because of the cold, and I felt it too, seeping into my bones, my clothes a solid mass of water and freezing chill.

"Come on," I said and we broke into a limping run, making for the tent.

We reached it in a couple of minutes. Jerome was shivering and I felt the start of tremors running down my back.

"Take your clothes off," I said, and as he hesitated, shouted, "Don't be a fool, you'll get hypothermia."

He struggled with fasteners, zips, buttons which refused to undo in his numb fingers, so I pulled off his clothes, the sodden mass making it difficult. I got off his pullover and his shirt. Then I unzipped his trousers, dropping to my knees to undo his boots and wrench them off. "Sit down," I said and he sat, his teeth chattering, while I pulled off his socks and trousers and then his underpants. His cock was tiny and his balls had almost entirely disappeared. It wasn't how I had imagined stripping him.

Then I got the towel and rubbed him hard, rubbed him until he protested and his skin turned red.

Now the weight of my sodden clothes was having the same effect on me. I started to undress and Jerome made feeble attempts to help. If only this had happened in the privacy of my bedroom and we had both been dry.

We had some spare dry clothes of course but I knew that both of us weren't likely to generate heat from ourselves, however much we put on. We needed heat from outside. Jerome's lips had gone blue again and he was shivering as if he had a fit, the skin moving as if it had a life of its own.

"Get into the sleeping bag," I said.

He started to obey but stopped when I said, "No, wait!"

With fingers that felt like iced cucumbers, and about as nimble, I zipped both our bags together making a large double sized one. "OK, now get in."

He did, disappearing into the bag and I could see the material shuddering. He tried to wrap himself in the folds.

"Hold on," I said. "I'm coming in too."

I wormed my way in, past his freezing body until I lay beside him. I held him, his back to me and I could feel his skin against mine. I put my arms round him and drew him as close as I could, everything touching, my chest against his back, my genitals (tiny and shrunken from the cold) against the crack in his arse, my legs wound with his and our freezing feet together.

I put my lips against his neck and breathed what I hoped was warm air onto him. It was a kiss, but one of succour and hope.

Together we shivered uncontrollably.

Then gradually I could feel some warmth creeping back between our two bodies. My arms were round his body and I moved my hands over his chest feeling his nipples standing out like sharp knobs, then I went lower, massaging the flat planes of his stomach. He pushed back against me and I felt my penis twitch.

My lips in the back of his neck whispered the words, probably unintelligibly, "I love you, Jerome."

Slowly our shivering ceased, replaced at first by calm periods interspersed by sudden short shudders. Eventually even these ceased and we lay together, quietly. "I love you, Jerome," I said into his neck. I knew I was better because my prick was full of blood. It nestled in his arse crack.

Suddenly he turned so that we lay face to face, chest to chest, groin to groin, hardness to hardness. His prick pushed against mine. His lips opened. "I love you, Grant", he said, almost as if the statement was pulled out of him. We kissed, first our lips, then my tongue found its way through, past teeth until it played with his tongue, warm and supple.

He groaned. "I love you, Grant," he said again.

My hands stroked down his back until they clasped his buttocks, one in each hand, fingers in the crack between and his did the same to me. We pulled each other even closer as if we were trying to get into each other, become one flesh. Gently I moved my hips against him and he returned the movement.

It took a long time. I guess we had been so chilled that the normal body functions were a bit out of kilter. Normally I come pretty quickly but this time it took ages, and we stayed together in that kiss, breathing each other's air almost as if we had no need for any other.

Again and again he repeated the same phrase, "I love you," and I replied.

Then at last, after a millennium of sweetness, of joy, of almost painful delight, I knew I was about to come. I tensed and he did too. Together we groaned or shouted, I don't know which or who did what, but I felt our mutual orgasms explode and warm liquid was between us.

Even afterwards neither of us moved or drew away.

And I felt myself drifting off to sleep, safe in the arms of my beloved and he in mine.

The sun shining through the tent wall woke me. I stretched luxuriously and yesterday's events came sharply into focus. Jerome was my lover. I reached for him, but the other side of the double sleeping bag was empty and cold. Some time earlier he'd crept away.

I crawled out, kicking off the snagging material and looked outside. Jerome's and my wet clothes lay in heaps on the grass. I stood naked and called but no one answered. Diving into the tent I found my dry clothes and pulled them on. As I did so I saw Jerome's dry pullover and trousers still in his haversack so he hadn't put his on. He'd gone out naked.

For one horrifying moment I thought of the river and raced down. It stretched, broad and placid, and I could see nothing. But surely his fear of the water as evinced in the accident would have stopped him from that.

But why had he gone? Of course I knew the answer immediately. It was what had happened before, after the wrestling episode when he'd felt he'd sinned - or was about to sin. Last night had gone so much further. He'd admitted his sexuality, his love for me.

Frantically I called, but there was no reply.

I stood in the middle of the field in the beautiful, beautiful weather and cried with worry, tears rolling down my cheeks. Yesterday had been an aberration and now we were back to St Luke. The sun was shining and birds were singing. The air was sweet with warmth and the scent of cut grass.

Suddenly I thought of the church. He might have gone there, might be praying for forgiveness in one of those old pews and I could assure him that it would never happen again, that it was MY fault, that I was the sinner and he the innocent.

I ran along the bank of the river and within a half an hour I saw the church. Surely it would be locked. Someone would shut the doors at night and perhaps open it later in the morning, but as I wrenched at the metal handle I heard the click of the latch and the creak of the rusty hinges.

After the sunshine, it was dark inside. For a moment I could see nothing and then I made out a pale crouching figure in the middle of the nave. Naked as he had been last night, as he must have left the tent this morning, he knelt under the figure of the crucified Christ. The figure below, though, was as much in agony as that above - on his knees, his back bowed so that his forehead touched the ground, he groaned a sound of such despair that my stomach twisted in sympathy.

Almost below the level of hearing, I heard his voice, and could just about make out the words. "I have sinned," he was saying again and again.

I put my hand on his shoulder and he flinched away with a scream as if I'd touched him with a red hot coal. His eyes were wide open but didn't seem to see anything.

There was nothing I could do. Somehow I would have to get someone who could take control, someone who could look after him. I knew they had won and I would never have my Jerome again.

I went out into the bright, cruel sunlight and phoned for an ambulance on my mobile.

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Born Again was formerly published by Rainbow Community Project (June 2007)


Michael Gouda was born and raised in London, England. After a change of direction he left the world of commerce and entered that of education and is now a teacher at a Comprehensive school in Worcestershire, England, teaching English and Information Technology. He lives in a limestone cottage in the Cotswolds with a neurotic Border Collie.




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