Oh no! hahaha! Shit. Fuck. Damn.

[slimvintage]

http://news.yahoo.com/research-reveals-oral-sex-may-leading-cause-mouth-195800608.html

Just when one had totally eradicated (maybe that's with a "ck"?) the last vestiges of his gag-reflex.

 

[rocky2]

What's next....

 

[tampa24]

Masturbation causes Carpal Tunnel? LOL

 

[cumrag27]

New Safety Regulations just around the corner on blow jobs

It almost makes you want to gag just reading of this new cancer risk plus imagining future blow jobs being further graced by a flavored condom.

I wonder if they will come up with a dick tasting flavor, adding both with and without precum for flavoring, for those who still remember and liked "tradition - the good old days". They might even come up with a "cum flavored" condom for those who like nothing more than taking a warm fresh load.

I can imagine some fundamentalist preacher in the footsteps of Jerry Falwell proclaiming AIDS was God's punishment to Gays like he said so many years ago. Now with non-smoking members of the congregation coming down with throat cancer and its most probable causation, saying Throat Cancer was God's punishment to all those "going down" the single-eyed snake pathway to sin and damnation! If only they had stuck to simple hand jobs!


Sincerely worth thinking about, regardless of how distasteful and unnatural it may appear to be,


Stimpy

 

[slimvintage]

It almost makes you want to gag just reading of this new cancer risk plus imagining future blow jobs being further graced by a flavored condom.

I wonder if they will come up with a dick tasting flavor, adding both with and without precum for flavoring, for those who still remember and liked "tradition - the good old days". They might even come up with a "cum flavored" condom for those who like nothing more than taking a warm fresh load.

I can imagine some fundamentalist preacher in the footsteps of Jerry Falwell proclaiming AIDS was God's punishment to Gays like he said so many years ago. Now with non-smoking members of the congregation coming down with throat cancer and its most probable causation, saying Throat Cancer was God's punishment to all those "going down" the single-eyed snake pathway to sin and damnation! If only they had stuck to simple hand jobs!


Sincerely worth thinking about, regardless of how distasteful and unnatural it may appear to be,


Stimpy

Stimpy dude, that was the most densely hilarious post you've made for ages. You had me cackling and guffawing and bouncing my scrawny ass around on my swivel chair in pure mirth. I can just hear you saying that stuff. Killing. Thank you dear man.

 

[cumrag27]

The slithering saga of Mr. Happy and his retirement years!

Stimpy dude, that was the most densely hilarious post you've made for ages. You had me cackling and guffawing and bouncing my scrawny ass around on my swivel chair in pure mirth. I can just hear you saying that stuff. Killing. Thank you dear man.

Dear Slim,

I am so delighted you got such a big bang from hanging around this most humble of worn-out, crumpled, and permanently wrinkled single-eyed snake/political and public opinion Tea Party Polster as I slither about. Being single-eyed, the fact that I am also single-minded takes on a new significance directly inline with the Tea Party with its inherent poor depth-perception and myopic views. Having both OCD and being gay-polar too, only adds to my feelings of meaninglessness, now almost completely shifted directionally 180 degrees into full-blown "abandonment mode".

In my advancing years having few friends willing to offer even a simple hug or a simple slap on the back, I have reconciled myself to inhabiting a confined, damp, and seldomly frequented portion of my body that usually shuns both "daylight" and "fresh air" at all costs(not to mention the concomitant punitive fines associated with "PDN", public display of nudity). After all, "Nude beaches" are not just around every corner like McDonald's, you know!

I have no intention of being listed among the other would-be "sex offenders", as that unchartered national "fraternity" has yet to even agree upon a simple handshake or password or lapel pin or even the building block of any fraternity - three Greek initials! What an OUTRAGE!!! I know there is a certain amount of "guilt by association" to deal with, but their total lack of prefunctory organizational skills offends me most grievously. I ask myself..."Weren't they ever elected to serve as an officer in a Student Council; Scout Troup; Class Treasurer; Hall Monitor, or some other "position of immense responsibility" while in their secondary school tenure?

I have had many years living in isolation to realize this undeniable fact, "it gets a little boring down here, as my two longtime companions, Lefty and Big Al, could attest. They are hardly the conversationalist with being "hard-of-hearing" or even visually recognizable now-a-days, since they both have gone almost entirely bald and frequently retract only to shiver with even the slightest of cold updrafts! "Going Comando" as my norm got too lonely! With age, they have become mere shadows of their former glorious selves, out of work, and with no real reason to exist!

Please don't think of this as some "Pity Party" or "I can't get no respect" as come Rodger Dangerfield clone! On the contrary, just realize even the simplest of human touch can bring back newly gained vigor, freeing me from my wrinkles and making me "bounce back smiling again" ready to do my duty one more time as "Mr. Happy"! All I require for a "wake-up call" is a slight budge and a dollop of "BENGAY" to awaken me from my deep sleep.

Submitted with absolutely "No Respect"!


Stimpy Dangerfield

 

[angelone]

What?

 

[cum2me01]

Stimpy, You have got it all together if you can write like that. What a great talent. Since you are gay and hopefully perverted have you thought of writing erotic stories for a magazine. Of course you would have a training period to switch to your non-dominate hand to do what comes naturally while taking notes on the material you are cumming up with. Best of luck on this new adventure.

 

[Beth]

Ok Stimpy, you won't find a "pity party" girl in me...get your ass up and get out! Go where the boys want to go...take them for a stroll; air out the goods and see who's been admiring you from a distance!
I do believe you are a natural writer, but I also believe you have to live to write...so go live, cum and then write! Remember your hands know what you like best, but others can be taught to evoke the vigor again...and again!

 

[cumrag27]

On Behalf of the Academy of

Stimpy, You have got it all together if you can write like that. What a great talent. Since you are gay and hopefully perverted have you thought of writing erotic stories for a magazine. Of course you would have a training period to switch to your non-dominate hand to do what comes naturally while taking notes on the material you are cumming up with. Best of luck on this new adventure.

Dear cum2me01,

As I am consistently and faithfully gay 24/7, perversion is only my pass time and an occasional hobby when in the mood. I would hate to "put all of my eggs into one basket" as perverse as that may be only to become indigent later on!!! Furthermore, the whole point to perversity is that it is fun for the moment and not something you base your financial stability on exclusively. What if I got a mental block OR developed ED OR worse even, had prostate cancer.

As flattering as your comments may be, when you turn long-time habits into "Pro - FOR REAL", it takes all of the fun out of your favorite one cock-one man OR team sport obsession. I much rather write for those I fondly refer to as my fellow "perverts" and "voyeurs" right here on Broke Straight Boys for free and not have to worry about marketing and advertisers. Only without these artificial influences can my art remain "pure as mountain air"!

Concerning the prerequisite training period to "switch from one dominant hand to do what comes naturally while taking notes on the material you are cumming up with", let me explain it this way. I believe in being totally hands-free so I don't have to worry about having any dominant hand, lube, or resulting skin grafts. Only a dominant brain and little brain is all that is truly needed. Not even the obligatory keyboard is needed with dragon software. But, alas, even with all of these high tech goodies, my inspiration for writing is not like some endless conveyor-belt full of "snicker bars" that I can easily stuff into my shirt. I have looked far and wide for a way to plug my brain into such a device, but dam if I can not locate such an worthy interface. A simple USB port would do, but I arrived on the scene before transistors did and retrofitting with a new port seems unnecessarily painful to truly attempt your proposed "new adventure".


Sincerely,


Stimpy

 

[cumrag27]

Thanks for stroking my ego

Ok Stimpy, you won't find a "pity party" girl in me...get your ass up and get out! Go where the boys want to go...take them for a stroll; air out the goods and see who's been admiring you from a distance!
I do believe you are a natural writer, but I also believe you have to live to write...so go live, cum and then write! Remember your hands know what you like best, but others can be taught to evoke the vigor again...and again!

Dear Beth,

Thanks for the kind words. The "boyz" are beginning to perk up a bit after our recent stroll, as they definitely needed the "airing out". I tried to convice them they had their admirers from afar, but they just shuddered out of disbelief and went limp again, only now smelling like freshly fallen rain on a slightly dusty road. How refreshing! I guess you would agree I need to take them down from the shelf and dust them off more frequently until they are nice and shiny again!

While they have served me well since 11 or 12 as the source for much of my inspiration after getting much needed routine attention/maintenance, I was struck by your closing comment..."Remember your hands know what you like best, but others can be taught to evoke the vigor again...and again." All I can say is, with such words of encouragement and after confronting my hands, I guess we have cum to a new arrangement letting my fingers do the walking once again, revisiting memory lane in your honor!


Sincerely Stoked,



Stimpy

 

[cum2me01]

Great response! You are truly a fun and unique person. I give you two thumbs up. You decide where to put them.

 

[Beth]

Oh Stimpy,
You are welcum.
Moistly yours, Beth

 

[JLipps4u]

Damn Slim,

Why'd you have to write this now about the throat cancer?!? Here I am about to go to an ENT to see why my throat has been sore now for 2 months, and my voice hoarse or completely gone. The last thing I needed to read about was "oral sex causing throat cancer"! Damn the price one has to pay for being "popular" in the locker room, lol.

 

[slimvintage]

You too?

Damn Slim,

Why'd you have to write this now about the throat cancer?!? Here I am about to go to an ENT to see why my throat has been sore now for 2 months, and my voice hoarse or completely gone. The last thing I needed to read about was "oral sex causing throat cancer"! Damn the price one has to pay for being "popular" in the locker room, lol.

Seriously, I've had trouble swallowing all my vitamins in one go since June and wonder if it might not be throat cancer dude. I also think it's metastasized to the brain. I couldn't remember Woody Allen's name the other night. I called him, "you know, the little weedy Jewish cult movie guy with glasses who did the voice for the hero of Antz." Go figure.

You let me know what your doctors say and I'll keep you up on the evolution of my deterioration.

 

[Beth]

Seriously, I've had trouble swallowing all my vitamins in one go since June and wonder if it might not be throat cancer dude. I also think it's metastasized to the brain. I couldn't remember Woody Allen's name the other night. I called him, "you know, the little weedy Jewish cult movie guy with glasses who did the voice for the hero of Antz." Go figure.

You let me know what your doctors say and I'll keep you up on the evolution of my deterioration.

I don't think it is cancer, probably too much fun in the sun!

 

[cumrag27]

Accentuate the POSITIVE!!!!!

Seriously, I've had trouble swallowing all my vitamins in one go since June and wonder if it might not be throat cancer dude. I also think it's metastasized to the brain. I couldn't remember Woody Allen's name the other night. I called him, "you know, the little weedy Jewish cult movie guy with glasses who did the voice for the hero of Antz." Go figure.

You let me know what your doctors say and I'll keep you up on the evolution of my deterioration.

Dearest Slim,

I certainly hope you are okay. I would not make the giant leap from difficulty swallowing your vitamins to assuming you have throat cancer. Please assure us that you are not a "smoker" on top of everything else? Concerning not remembering Woody Allen's name, then I must have this alleged "cancer metastizing" to my brain too. I cannot tell you how many times I have struggled getting the names of specific celebrities out when I can picture them fully and even list the movies they have appeared in. Robert De Niro is someone I can never remember his name and the perfect illustration of this phenomenon.

Mostly, I feel this is due to my limited opportunities of incorporating them in my thoughts needed for normal conversations. It is to the point that I must as a matter of routine depend on those others conversing with me to literally "fill-in the blanks"! When I have a "concept" in mind that is rarely shared with others, I relegate it to "the back 40"(farmer's parlance for "acreage" that is). Next I fear, just like LBJ, you will be wanting to share your surgical scars whenever you are in public.

Take care, for real!!!Be positive as this will serve you best in the long run! Let us know the Doctor's findings, if any.


Sincerely absent-minded,



Stimpy

 

[slimvintage]

I don't think it is cancer, probably too much fun in the sun!

Actually no. There's this really excellent pair of caves just a foot or two above sea level about 2 miles around the bay, that are sluiced out every so often during a storm. On calm days there's quite a turnover of guys. You can have a really great swim and come ashore to check out the talent. There's a sort of demography code at these two spots. Older guys who like younger ones, and younger guys who like older ones.

But it all happens in a cave, out of the sun lol.

 

[slimvintage]

Dearest Slim,

I certainly hope you are okay. I would not make the giant leap from difficulty swallowing your vitamins to assuming you have throat cancer. Please assure us that you are not a "smoker" on top of everything else? Concerning not remembering Woody Allen's name, then I must have this alleged "cancer metastizing" to my brain too. I cannot tell you how many times I have struggled getting the names of specific celebrities out when I can picture them fully and even list the movies they have appeared in. Robert De Niro is someone I can never remember his name and the perfect illustration of this phenomenon.

Mostly, I feel this is due to my limited opportunities of incorporating them in my thoughts needed for normal conversations. It is to the point that I must as a matter of routine depend on those others conversing with me to literally "fill-in the blanks"! When I have a "concept" in mind that is rarely shared with others, I relegate it to "the back 40"(farmer's parlance for "acreage" that is). Next I fear, just like LBJ, you will be wanting to share your surgical scars whenever you are in public.

Take care, for real!!!Be positive as this will serve you best in the long run! Let us know the Doctor's findings, if any.


Sincerely absent-minded,



Stimpy

Robert de Niro is different. Absolutely no one can remember his name, ever.

There won't be any doctor's findings because I'm letting this be a hypochondriac catastrophist binge moment, as I just said to some pals in a PM, that doesn't produce a professional diagnosis. Especially since I started smoking and stopped smoking on the same day in June when I was 15.

As far as showing is concerned, I'm like Jack, and will show you anything at the drop of a 2(x)ist. But have never charged an extra 20 to touch it.

 

[Beth]

Actually no. There's this really excellent pair of caves just a foot or two above sea level about 2 miles around the bay, that are sluiced out every so often during a storm. On calm days there's quite a turnover of guys. You can have a really great swim and come ashore to check out the talent. There's a sort of demography code at these two spots. Older guys who like younger ones, and younger guys who like older ones.

But it all happens in a cave, out of the sun lol.

Well, I know "it happens in a cave," isn't that the best part!~