My story......what's yours?

[parisnoyd]

You quit for the right reason. It's despicable to do something like that for the money. As far as his eyeing your abs when you mopped off your forehead, it was you inadvertently spreading the joy a little, and I bet a bunch of the builders liked it when you did that too. Your boss enjoyed it and it didn't do you any harm. I've always been flattered by stuff like that happening to me, no matter who was doing it. Sad.

I am flattered by the looks, too. Not from this guy. He creeped me out. He was very (close) with some of the empoyees. I doubt anything was really going on, but he asked them way too personal questions. Many of the boys that worked there were under educated. I think they were just pleased that the boss had an interest in them. Who knows?

 

[tampa24]

You quit for the right reason. It's despicable to do something like that for the money. As far as his eyeing your abs when you mopped off your forehead, it was you inadvertently spreading the joy a little, and I bet a bunch of the builders liked it when you did that too. Your boss enjoyed it and it didn't do you any harm. I've always been flattered by stuff like that happening to me, no matter who was doing it. Sad.

Ahh. The old dilemma of wanting admiring looks from only the people of our choice. It never works that way does it? When we show a little skin, dress provocatively or even dress very formally it's just part of the game. We have to accept that everyone has an opportunity to share in the wealth. There will always be people who will toss us an admiring or lustful glance whom we would rather not have. But the rules of that game will always eventually work in our favor, as advancing age steals our own youthful looks. Because there's no maximum age restrictions at Spring Break beaches! LOL

If you've got it, flaunt it!!

 

[Jayman01]

Ahh. The old dilemma of wanting admiring looks from only the people of our choice. It never works that way does it? When we show a little skin, dress provocatively or even dress very formally it's just part of the game. We have to accept that everyone has an opportunity to share in the wealth. There will always be people who will toss us an admiring or lustful glance whom we would rather not have. But the rules of that game will always eventually work in our favor, as advancing age steals our own youthful looks. Because there's no maximum age restrictions at spring break beaches! LOL

If you've got it, flaunt it!!

See you at Spring Break!!!

 

[Reubenjames]

If you guy's don't mind i would like to tell you my story.
I am gay and have only had one relationship in my life that lasted for 8 1/2 years till he was K I A.
We meet at school when we where 11 years old, but did nothing together untill we where 13. We used to go back to his house after school and have sex in his bed.On leaving school we both joined the army, and at this time it was still illegal to be gay and we could have been thrown out.
We would meet up as often as possible and those times where magic for us both, but very short.
The christmas before he was killed we both had off, and he told me he had done what he wanted to do with reguard to his trade and he could now come out and get a job in civy street. We also exchanged rings that christmas. And started to plan our future out of the army.
So he went back to his army camp to hand in his papers and start the prosses to come out. Part of that prosses was that he had to compleate another tour of duty in Ireland and he was killed while there. He was 21, very cute and the light of my life.
I found out that he had been killed when his name was read out on the news.
I have never had anyone else as i feel i would betray his memory.And we had also promised to love each other for ever.
All of this happened 30 years ago.I hope you do not mind that i have not shared his name or dates with you as i feel they are personal to me.
Thank you for reading and letting me write this, and thank you to Broke Straight Boys for the pleasure you give me, keep up the good work.
Now i need a coffee and a tissue.
R J

 

[Jayman01]

If you guy's don't mind i would like to tell you my story.
I am gay and have only had one relationship in my life that lasted for 8 1/2 years till he was K I A.
We meet at school when we where 11 years old, but did nothing together untill we where 13. We used to go back to his house after school and have sex in his bed.On leaving school we both joined the army, and at this time it was still illegal to be gay and we could have been thrown out.
We would meet up as often as possible and those times where magic for us both, but very short.
The christmas before he was killed we both had off, and he told me he had done what he wanted to do with reguard to his trade and he could now come out and get a job in civy street. We also exchanged rings that christmas. And started to plan our future out of the army.
So he went back to his army camp to hand in his papers and start the prosses to come out. Part of that prosses was that he had to compleate another tour of duty in Ireland and he was killed while there. He was 21, very cute and the light of my life.
I found out that he had been killed when his name was read out on the news.
I have never had anyone else as i feel i would betray his memory. And we had also promised to love each other for ever.
All of this happened 30 years ago.I hope you do not mind that i have not shared his name or dates with you as i feel they are personal to me.
Thank you for reading and letting me write this, and thank you to BSB for the pleasure you give me, keep up the good work.
Now i need a coffee and a tissue.
R J

Wow, Ruben that is one of the most beautiful love stories I have ever heard. I too have been a soldier. I cannot say I lost the love of my life in the military. However; I did loose two wonderful gay friends who were a couple. Strange, I actually dated both of them and I introduced them to eachother. As I read your story I felt your loss and remembered mine all over again. I am so sorry for your tragic loss. I do know that everything happens for a reason, and that some reasons will never be revealed until we reach the other side.

I am delighted that you were both able to be with each other as long as you were. Many people search their whole life for their perfect love and you two found each other at 13. I know that he can never be replaced. It may be hard to open up your heart to a new love ever again. However; I don't know that he would not like to see you live out the rest of your days alone. You loved him, that is true, and he knows it. He does now and will forever live on in your heart and in your memories and now ours. When the time is right to move on you will know. He may not be here with you physically, but you can be sure that he is there for you always. He will forever love you and help ease your pain from from the other side all the days of your life. Bless your heart for all that you have endured and for finding true love in this lifetime. Be at peace, and know that you are still forever loved...

As above, so it is below and so it is. Nameste...

 

[slimvintage]

If you guy's don't mind i would like to tell you my story.
I am gay and have only had one relationship in my life that lasted for 8 1/2 years till he was K I A.
We meet at school when we where 11 years old, but did nothing together untill we where 13. We used to go back to his house after school and have sex in his bed.On leaving school we both joined the army, and at this time it was still illegal to be gay and we could have been thrown out.
We would meet up as often as possible and those times where magic for us both, but very short.
The christmas before he was killed we both had off, and he told me he had done what he wanted to do with reguard to his trade and he could now come out and get a job in civy street. We also exchanged rings that christmas. And started to plan our future out of the army.
So he went back to his army camp to hand in his papers and start the prosses to come out. Part of that prosses was that he had to compleate another tour of duty in Ireland and he was killed while there. He was 21, very cute and the light of my life.
I found out that he had been killed when his name was read out on the news.
I have never had anyone else as i feel i would betray his memory.And we had also promised to love each other for ever.
All of this happened 30 years ago.I hope you do not mind that i have not shared his name or dates with you as i feel they are personal to me.
Thank you for reading and letting me write this, and thank you to BSB for the pleasure you give me, keep up the good work.
Now i need a coffee and a tissue.
R J

RJ, Jayman is the undisputed spiritual mentor on this Forum and has given everyone on here, at one time or another, a blessing of some kind either in the form of good advice, or a window through which to see more clearly things about ourselves we intuit but hadn't been able to put into words.

You and your guy made vows to each other before his death. Young people in love just absolutely know they'll never love anyone else, ever. So to make a vow of fidelity is the easiest thing in the world under those circumstances. But for you to have kept it forever, the other person long dead, is such a heartbreaking thing to hear about. And really really touching.

The guys on this site must remind you of him, pretty much the same age as when you last were together. Reading your story made me a little ashamed of my quibbling with Blu about superficial stuff to do with the models and the filming, the episode texts and the release dates. I won't be able to watch the hotties on the futon without a momentary thought for you, watching as well, remembering your guy and seeing him again through the Straighties. Take care mister.

 

[parisnoyd]

Reubenjames,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I am happy that you were able to experience such a great love in your life.

parisnoyd

 

[LesterM]

Reuben I don't know if you will ever see this but here goes . I was very much in love with a guy all through HS We had planned to spend our lives together. Our parents knew I think it was hard for them but they finally all made the adjustment. He was killed by a drunk driver after we graduated. He loved me and I loved him very much If the situation would have been reversed I would not have wanted him to be alone I hope your heart can open to love again. I wish you both peace and love

 

[Reubenjames]

Thank you for taking the time to read my story, and for the words of comfort you have all writen back.
I cried writing it, i cried reading the replies, and am still crying writing this.
We had such a short time together, but i have such wonderful memories of him.
I still wear the ring he gave me, and i keep a photo of him on the chest by my bed.
One of the memories i will share with you, We where not paid very much in those days in the army and we had to save hard for a night in a hotel in London. He came from his camp and i from mine, ( different parts of the country ) and we meet on Paddington railway station. We booked into a cheap hotel and i nearly died when he asked for a double room, we had enough money left between us to have a cheap meal and 1/2 a bottle of red wine.
But we did not care as we were together, if i remember we would have been about 19.
Thank you again.
More coffee and tissues.
R J

 

[parisnoyd]

Thank you for taking the time to read my story, and for the words of comfort you have all writen back.
I cried writing it, i cried reading the replies, and am still crying writing this.
We had such a short time together, but i have such wonderful memories of him.
I still wear the ring he gave me, and i keep a photo of him on the chest by my bed.
One of the memories i will share with you, We where not paid very much in those days in the army and we had to save hard for a night in a hotel in London. He came from his camp and i from mine, ( different parts of the country ) and we meet on Paddington railway station. We booked into a cheap hotel and i nearly died when he asked for a double room, we had enough money left between us to have a cheap meal and 1/2 a bottle of red wine.
But we did not care as we were together, if i remember we would have been about 19.
Thank you again.
More coffee and tissues.
R J

Ah, Reuben, now you have this softy tearing up! Memories, ain't they grand?!!

May God bless you.

 

[tampa24]

Thank you for taking the time to read my story, and for the words of comfort you have all writen back.
I cried writing it, i cried reading the replies, and am still crying writing this.
We had such a short time together, but i have such wonderful memories of him.
I still wear the ring he gave me, and i keep a photo of him on the chest by my bed.
One of the memories i will share with you, We where not paid very much in those days in the army and we had to save hard for a night in a hotel in London. He came from his camp and i from mine, ( different parts of the country ) and we meet on Paddington railway station. We booked into a cheap hotel and i nearly died when he asked for a double room, we had enough money left between us to have a cheap meal and 1/2 a bottle of red wine.
But we did not care as we were together, if i remember we would have been about 19.
Thank you again.
More coffee and tissues.
R J

Dear R J,

I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know how much more I can add to what the other guys have said so far. They are some very wise and eloquent souls. The old philosophical question comes to mind for me as it relates to your situation. That is: Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? The grief that you have felt for the last 30 years must have been beyond words. But would you rather have not had those precious memories of your beloved? I doubt it.

I do feel that the love of your life would would want you to find as much happiness as possible down here in the time you have left. Just because he has transitioned to another plane doesn't mean that you have to close your heart to anyone else. You are still relatively young and have a chance to climb out of the grieving mode and look upon the world with renewed hope for a better today and tomorrow. You only need to change your mind. I know that's easier said than done, but it is possible.

I myself am sure that given what a wonderful person your love was, that he would want to see you happy and thriving. He would definitely not want to see you lonely. He would not see you as breaking a vow to love him forever because you still do and you always will for eterenity, I'm sure. Finding someone else would allow you to open your heart and possibly find love again. It would not be breaking your vows because nobody would ever replace him as the love of your life. Anyone else with whom you found love would know that a part of your heart was always with your first love. And that would not be unfair to them as long as they knew this going in.

There are other people out there who are equally lonely and maybe grieving also. Why not find someone else with whom you can cast away the shadows of lonliness with the pure white light of Love? Please give yourself permission to try.

Hugs

 

[Reubenjames]

God yes it is better to have loved and lost as i still have the memories.
Yes i know that i should get out there as it were, but there is just something that stops me, its a me thing.
Once again thanks to all who have read and taken the time to write back, it is nice to know that other people care, and that is half the battle.
R J

 

[Jayman01]

Thank you for taking the time to read my story, and for the words of comfort you have all writen back.
I cried writing it, i cried reading the replies, and am still crying writing this.
We had such a short time together, but i have such wonderful memories of him.
I still wear the ring he gave me, and i keep a photo of him on the chest by my bed.
One of the memories i will share with you, We where not paid very much in those days in the army and we had to save hard for a night in a hotel in London. He came from his camp and i from mine, ( different parts of the country ) and we meet on Paddington railway station. We booked into a cheap hotel and i nearly died when he asked for a double room, we had enough money left between us to have a cheap meal and 1/2 a bottle of red wine.
But we did not care as we were together, if i remember we would have been about 19.
Thank you again.
More coffee and tissues.
R J

We are with you my friend as well as our prayers... They say it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. You are not alone. We are all here for you my friend.

 

[gremlin2k08]

I just read through this forum list and came across your story RJ..... I am truly touched by the love you and your partner shared. It is not easy to lose someone whom you loved dearly...... I know that no one will ever be able to fill the shoes that man wore or replace the piece of your heart that has been taken, however if you never let anyone in, then this existance is a very lonely one. I for one do not want to see anyone like this and I am certain that he wouldnt wish it for you either. Please allow yourself to, if not officially date, have a meaningful friendship with another and let your heart be open to what you know he would want for you. You are truly a rare soul and I feel honored to have the chance to chat with you.

 

[BrokeStraightBoys]

Thanks for sharing your story, I'm sorry for your loss. I have been through a lot of crap but I have never loss a loved one. Kudos to you for making it through something that would be incredibly hard to go through.

Mark

 

[winkb15@verizon.net]

Late bloomer

The high school boy across the street in our middle class neighborhood beckoned me to his house (his parents both worked) one day. He sucked my cock; I sucked his. I was in first grade. I remember that his cock was huge and uncut (lots of foreskin). What today would be termed "molestation" was anything but for me. I enjoyed it. After that he would ask me if I wanted to come over and "either smoke or do some shit." I always chose "do some shit."

In fifth grade my family moved to our farm where I had sexual experiences with the boys from the adjoining farm. The experiences were mostly oral and mutual jacking off. On our senior trip from our small rural high school, I either slept with the high school jock or next to him. On several nights I would jack him off. To my knowledge he didn't know.

Then came college and military. I wasn't sure where I was sexually, but too scared to be found out from experimentation, even though I was stationed in NYC and Tokyo, both places where "play for pay" were accessable.

I married, had children, taught high school, did all the civic things including being on the city council, elder in church, being on several boards.

I returned to NYC several times because of my love of theater--sometimes with my wife, sometimes alone. I discovered in the pre-Disney Times Square one could pay an admission fee and watch boys "dance naked." I was beginning to feel who I really was.

On one of my visits to NY I stayed at my nephew's (who was partners with a former sitcom star. I slept on the couch in the living room, was joined by my nephew's partner. He sucked my dick and I his (his was small for the record); He asked me to fuck him, which I did (very tight ass, and I wasn't very experienced). This happened 10 years ago. I was really turned on, and knew where I stood sexually. After this experience I started having male sex fairly regularly (primarily at bath houses).

My wife discovered my extracurricular activities and confronted me. I told the truth, along with the line "I'm the same person you've always known; now you know more about me." We're still married, still have a good time, she supports my "extracurricular activities" (without details) and we still laugh and love (not sex). I have three "appointments" with guys this week; I've never been happier sexually. And I'm old.

 

[richardnoggin869]

My wife discovered my extracurricular activities and confronted me. I told the truth, along with the line "I'm the same person you've always known; now you know more about me." We're still married, still have a good time, she supports my "extracurricular activities" (without details) and we still laugh and love (not sex). I have three "appointments" with guys this week; I've never been happier sexually. And I'm old.

Dear Wink,

Many older people that do come out in later life ask themselves: "Why didn't I do this sooner?" Congratulations to you for having an understanding wife that cares and you can share with, (to a degree). BTW, don't ever call yourself old....because you're never to old for fun. You're just a late bloomer in this garden on earth we call life!

 

[tampa24]

Dear Wink,

Many older people that do come out in later life ask themselves: "Why didn't I do this sooner?" Congratulations to you for having an understanding wife that cares and you can share with, (to a degree). BTW, don't ever call yourself old....because you're never to old for fun. You're just a late bloomer in this garden on earth we call life!

I'm reminded of a joke we'd say in college at times. You'd inevitably hear one of the teens or 20 somethings say: "Ewww, gross!" It was always good for a laugh though.

The line was: "Just remember...You're never too old to be chicken to somebody." The horror! LOL

 

[parisnoyd]

Reuben I don't know if you will ever see this but here goes . I was very much in love with a guy all through HS We had planned to spend our lives together. Our parents knew I think it was hard for them but they finally all made the adjustment. He was killed by a drunk driver after we graduated. He loved me and I loved him very much If the situation would have been reversed I would not have wanted him to be alone I hope your heart can open to love again. I wish you both peace and love

Lester, how absolutely tragic! I lost my mother to a car crash. I know the pain you felt. Different, but the same. One can never prepare for that. You gave great advice to Reuben.

 

[Jayman01]

The high school boy across the street in our middle class neighborhood beckoned me to his house (his parents both worked) one day. He sucked my cock; I sucked his. I was in first grade. I remember that his cock was huge and uncut (lots of foreskin). What today would be termed "molestation" was anything but for me. I enjoyed it. After that he would ask me if I wanted to come over and "either smoke or do some shit." I always chose "do some shit."

In fifth grade my family moved to our farm where I had sexual experiences with the boys from the adjoining farm. The experiences were mostly oral and mutual jacking off. On our senior trip from our small rural high school, I either slept with the high school jock or next to him. On several nights I would jack him off. To my knowledge he didn't know.

Then came college and military. I wasn't sure where I was sexually, but too scared to be found out from experimentation, even though I was stationed in NYC and Tokyo, both places where "play for pay" were accessable.

I married, had children, taught high school, did all the civic things including being on the city council, elder in church, being on several boards.

I returned to NYC several times because of my love of theater--sometimes with my wife, sometimes alone. I discovered in the pre-Disney Times Square one could pay an admission fee and watch boys "dance naked." I was beginning to feel who I really was.

On one of my visits to NY I stayed at my nephew's (who was partners with a former sitcom star. I slept on the couch in the living room, was joined by my nephew's partner. He sucked my dick and I his (his was small for the record); He asked me to fuck him, which I did (very tight ass, and I wasn't very experienced). This happened 10 years ago. I was really turned on, and knew where I stood sexually. After this experience I started having male sex fairly regularly (primarily at bath houses).

My wife discovered my extracurricular activities and confronted me. I told the truth, along with the line "I'm the same person you've always known; now you know more about me." We're still married, still have a good time, she supports my "extracurricular activities" (without details) and we still laugh and love (not sex). I have three "appointments" with guys this week; I've never been happier sexually. And I'm old.

Wink,

This was a wonderful story. It really gets at the heart of true love. You and you wife must love each other very deeply. You found a true soul mate that loves you enough to stand by your side and allow you the freedom to be happy too. Bless your heart and hers for the sacrifices that you have made and continue make for each other in love...