Is it possible to get over your first love?

[slimvintage]

You know we wish we could take the pain away, but we can't. Denver, all you have to do is ask, and any one of us will try to help you. It won't make you stop hurting, but we've all been there. You are a young man, and I KNOW you will find another man to love. It WILL happen. Firsts are just that. I don't want to think of you being alone and suffering. It makes me sad. Jayman, Slim, markymark, etc. etc., have all been there. Life goes on, and it will for you, too! Just words, but we have all lived through it. Just ask, we'll try to help you!

Wishing you peace,
parisnoyd

Of course we've all been through it. And paris has had the most turbulent love life of us all.

What I'm sure of is that you'll find, as he says, another man to love. Mainly because you'll have your pick of wonderful guys who'll fall in love with you first. You are such a hottie, with all your sentiments and feelings in exactly the right place, that your re-emergence, whenever that happens, is gonna be tremendous. We love you Den. Stay well. Keep us informed

 

[parisnoyd]

And paris has had the most turbulent love life of us all.

thank you, slimvintage, I am more than honored by this distinction..............

 

[JJC442]

Time heals all wounds. I thought about my first love constantly for about 6 months after we broke up. The feelings finally go away, especially if you meet someone else special.

 

[tampa24]

Welcome to the forum JJC!

 

[JJC442]

Thanks I appreciate it!

 

[tampa24]

Thanks I appreciate it!

Hubba Hubba. Nice chest JJC! LOL

 

[JJC442]

Haha, well thanks!

 

[tampa24]

Haha, well thanks!

So who are some of your favorite models so far?

 

[Jayman01]

Welcome to the Forum JCC442...

 

[denver0102]

Thanks for the adivice JCC442 and welcome to the forum!

 

[LesterM]

Denver , just a little nasty thought to add to Jc Time also wounds all heels

 

[pipedreams]

Honestly, Maybe Not

I met my first bf, and only really deep, spiritual love, at the age of 17...he was only a year older. I never cheated and never wanted to. We were sooo fucking cute together and our love for each other was obvious to the world. We stayed together for three years. Nearly 10 years later, I still think of him daily and have yet to feel a love as intense or fulfilling. Like gravity, what goes up must come down. As high as my emotions were when together, I emotionally crashed from the breakup.

While the general rule says it'll take twice as long as the actual relationship to recover, I needed much more time.

 

[parisnoyd]

I met my first bf, and only really deep, spiritual love, at the age of 17...he was only a year older. I never cheated and never wanted to. We were sooo fucking cute together and our love for each other was obvious to the world. We stayed together for three years. Nearly 10 years later, I still think of him daily and have yet to feel a love as intense or fulfilling. Like gravity, what goes up must come down. As high as my emotions were when together, I emotionally crashed from the breakup.

While the general rule says it'll take twice as long as the actual relationship to recover, I needed much more time.

Welcome to the Forum, pipedreams!

Love hurts, as they say. You had a wonderful relationship with someone. It is sad that it ended, but many people never experience what you did. Remember the good times. You had many, I am sure.

 

[canada]

I met my first bf, and only really deep, spiritual love, at the age of 17...he was only a year older. I never cheated and never wanted to. We were sooo fucking cute together and our love for each other was obvious to the world. We stayed together for three years. Nearly 10 years later, I still think of him daily and have yet to feel a love as intense or fulfilling. Like gravity, what goes up must come down. As high as my emotions were when together, I emotionally crashed from the breakup.

While the general rule says it'll take twice as long as the actual relationship to recover, I needed much more time.

I read your answer to the question. I believe that the anwer is yes some people is yes they do and some don't. I had the biggest crush on this girl in high school and college. She was everything I always wanted in a girl/wife. The first problem was when my best friend at the time startrd dating her first. They dated for 4 years, but there relationship ended when he got abussive and started hitting her. So he dumped him.

Since my friend was more af a former friend and I lost all respect for him when he became abusive towards her, after 6 months she and I dated for 2 years. I totally screwed up the relationship due to my own hangups.

I guessI really have not forgiven myself or gotten over her. I compare everyone to her and they come up short.

 

[BrokeStraightBoys]

I met my first bf, and only really deep, spiritual love, at the age of 17...he was only a year older. I never cheated and never wanted to. We were sooo fucking cute together and our love for each other was obvious to the world. We stayed together for three years. Nearly 10 years later, I still think of him daily and have yet to feel a love as intense or fulfilling. Like gravity, what goes up must come down. As high as my emotions were when together, I emotionally crashed from the breakup.

While the general rule says it'll take twice as long as the actual relationship to recover, I needed much more time.

Omg that means it will take 22 years to get over mine.

Mark

 

[Jayman01]

I met my first bf, and only really deep, spiritual love, at the age of 17...he was only a year older. I never cheated and never wanted to. We were sooo fucking cute together and our love for each other was obvious to the world. We stayed together for three years. Nearly 10 years later, I still think of him daily and have yet to feel a love as intense or fulfilling. Like gravity, what goes up must come down. As high as my emotions were when together, I emotionally crashed from the breakup.

While the general rule says it'll take twice as long as the actual relationship to recover, I needed much more time.

Pipedreams, the hardest part of letting go is being able to open up to others the same way you did when you and your first love fell in love. That is very difficult for many because once wounded we often keep our guard up and we refuse to ever let them connect as deeply as the first true love. One it feels like we are giving up all hope for the first love to ever come back and two it makes us vulnerable to love again. When those heart strings connect on a deep emotional level any break up often leaves you feeling devastated. Some people heal and progress faster than others as you said. However; it is important to work on letting go each day so that you can give the somebody new an equal opportunity to fall in love too.

Bless your heart, my prayers are with you on your quest for inner peace and new found love...

 

[Markymark]

Omg that means it will take 22 years to get over mine.

Mark

Emotioanal years are much different than physical years. Physical years are in the temporal realm and are measured by the length of day. Emotional years are measured by our innermost feelings, and can pass either more quickly; or painfully, much more slowly than physical time. Memories, hopes, regrets, all mix to determine how quickly or slowly we pass through the emotional years. This is why we tell one another to have hope. To believe that there will be another great Love out there. We choose how we work through the feelings which swirl around us. Much like Recovery, there are steps. The length of emotional years is largely dependent on how we manage those steps. Learning to let go of the painful memories, and to treasure the good or happy memories is one of the first steps, and is key to the amount of time that we actually mourn the lost relationshiop. IMHO of course.

I am,

 

[tampa24]

Welcome to the Forum, pipedreams!

Love hurts, as they say. You had a wonderful relationship with someone. It is sad that it ended, but many people never experience what you did. Remember the good times. You had many, I am sure.

Well said Paris. I would have been overjoyed to have experienced that kind of love. Even if it did come to an end. Though I don't mean to belittle Pipedream's pain from the breakup in any way. I've been waiting my whole life for an experience such as that kind of relationship.

Welcome to the forum Pipedreams!

 

[tampa24]

Emotioanal years are much different than physical years. Physical years are in the temporal realm and are measured by the length of day. Emotional years are measured by our innermost feelings, and can pass either more quickly; or painfully, much more slowly than physical time. Memories, hopes, regrets, all mix to determine how quickly or slowly we pass through the emotional years. This is why we tell one another to have hope. To believe that there will be another great Love out there. We choose how we work through the feelings which swirl around us. Much like Recovery, there are steps. The length of emotional years is largely dependent on how we manage those steps. Learning to let go of the painful memories, and to treasure the good or happy memories is one of the first steps, and is key to the amount of time that we actually mourn the lost relationshiop. IMHO of course.

I am,

Wow. I'm swooning at the nearly poetic wisdom with which you guys are responding in this thread. You're all giving such good advice...

 

[parisnoyd]

I read your answer to the question. I believe that the anwer is yes some people is yes they do and some don't. I had the biggest crush on this girl in high school and college. She was everything I always wanted in a girl/wife. The first problem was when my best friend at the time startrd dating her first. They dated for 4 years, but there relationship ended when he got abussive and started hitting her. So he dumped him.

Since my friend was more af a former friend and I lost all respect for him when he became abusive towards her, after 6 months she and I dated for 2 years. I totally screwed up the relationship due to my own hangups.

I guessI really have not forgiven myself or gotten over her. I compare everyone to her and they come up short.

Canada, you brought back some memories for me. I was madly in love with a girl for 3 years. She was the "one" for me. She broke up with me. It was under dramatic circumstances is all I will say. I was beside myself heartbroken. I was devastated. We were apart for about a month. Long enough for her to have sex with a guy I considered a good friend, and for me to have sex with a girl she knew. We did get back together and were together for another year. Then I broke up with her. She was shocked, and did not deal with this very well. Many months later, she called me. We started seeing each other again. I was so whipped by her. By this time I was also dating another girl. My new girl told me she loved me. I knew she did. I loved her, too. One night I had a date with the former girlfriend, but my new girl called me with an offer I couldn't refuse. I called the former and canceled our date. I had never told her no for anything before, so she knew this was it. We haven't seen or spoken to each other since. I still think about her often, but it just wasn't good for me to be with her any longer. I have never loved anyone with the same intensity I loved her. I think that is a good thing. Canada, it is hard to let those feelings go, but I think you should forgive yourself and stop comparing others to her. Everyone is different, and that is a very good thing. I think one day you will be pleased to learn, the first one is not the only one.