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Gay Jokes

Dont go playing with words.............. dont make me slap you
 
two queers, roger and colin, are walking through london zoo one day when they come across the "rwandan silverback gorilla" Cage Kafig. Sitting upright just inside the bars is an eight foot muscle bound silverback gorilla and colin can't help but notice its massive, thick penis hanging there.
"ooooooh....look at the dong on him, roger !" squeals colin excitedly. "i've never had one that size in my hand before !" unable to contain himself, he reaches through the bars and strokes the apple sized bell-end of the ape. Roger tries to pull his boyfriend away but its too late.......the gorilla's shovel like hands clasp colin's wrist and yank him through the bars, into the Cage Kafig. Roger screams in a gay fashion as colin is dragged into the gorillas bamboo hut. Whilst in there, colin is subjected to a very very
very rough bout of anal sex with the silverback. Roger covers his ears to block colin's screams and runs to get help. It takes three and a half hours for the zoo staff to lure the ape out and fire a tranquilliser dart at its ass. They call an ambulance and colin is rushed to hospital for major ring piece surgery. A few days later roger decides to visit his gay pal colin in hospital as he hears that he's regained consciousness. Colin is in his bed, crying his eyes out when roger walks in.
"how are you feeling darling ?" asks roger quietly.
"awful !" whimpers colin "that fucking gorilla shagged my arse rotten!"
"does it hurt ?" asked roger
"hurt ?" replies colin, tears rolling down his cheeks "hurt? He hasn't called, he hasn't written....of course it bloody hurts!"

lol
 
Tongue Twisters


These funny tongue twisters are difficult to say and may be a little dirty if you say them wrong.


I slit the sheet - the sheet I slit - and on the slitted sheet I sit.


Try to keep repeating the phrase "Red lorry, yellow lorry"


She sells sea shells on the sea shore !


Six slippery snails, slid slowly seaward.


I'm not a pheasant plucker,
I'm a pheasant pluckers son.
And I'm only plucking pleasants
'till the pheasant plucker comes.


Silly Simon's sitting in a shoe shine shop.
Where he sits he shines, and where he shines he sits.
 
Gay Bob goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.
The doctor comes back and says "Bob, I'm not going to beat around
the bush. You have AIDS."
Bob is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?"
"Eat 1 sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in
hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box
of
Raisin Bran, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice.
Bob asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"
Doc says, "No, but it should
leave you with a better understanding
of what your ass is for."
 
Gay Bob goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.
The doctor comes back and says "Bob, I'm not going to beat around
the bush. You have AIDS."
Bob is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?"
"Eat 1 sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in
hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box
of
Raisin Bran, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice.
Bob asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"
Doc says, "No, but it should
leave you with a better understanding
of what your ass is for."

Welcome to Broke Straight Boys Thanks for the great laugh too.
 
A dog had followed his owner to school. His owner was a fourth grader at a public elementary school. However, when the bell rang, the dog sidled inside the building and made it all the way to the child's classroom before a teacher noticed and shooed him outside, closing the door behind him. The dog sat down, whimpered and stared at the closed doors. Then God appeared beside the dog, patted his head, and said,


..............................
ATT000341111.gif




.... ......................... .... .........'Don't feel bad fella'...they won't let ME in either'.

This is not a gay joke....... But i didnt want to start a new thread for it........ (its not even a jpke)
 
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A dog had followed his owner to school. His owner was a fourth grader at a public elementary school. However, when the bell rang, the dog sidled inside the building and made it all the way to the child's classroom before a teacher noticed and shooed him outside, closing the door behind him. The dog sat down, whimpered and stared at the closed doors. Then God appeared beside the dog, patted his head, and said,


..............................
ATT000341111.gif




.... ......................... .... .........'Don't feel bad fella'...they won't let ME in either'.

This is not a gay joke....... But i didnt want to start a new thread for it........ (its not even a jpke)

Cute.
 
Problems

Three guys go to see a witch doctor about their problems.

One has a smoking problem, one is an alcholic and one is gay but wants to change.

The docter puts a curse on them that if any of them indulge their habits again they will die.

Two days later the alcholic dies because he gave in and had to drink.

The next day the gay guy and the smoker are walking down the street together. The smoker sees a cigarette lying and the ground and stops to stare at it.

The gay guy looked at him and said "if you bend over and pick that up we are both fucked"
 
Unused Lover


A guy arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find his lover in bed with a young, handsome boy.

Just as he was about to storm out of the house, his lover stopped him with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about:"

"Driving home, I saw this young guy, looking poor and tired, I offered him a ride. He was hungry, so I brought him home and fed him some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator.

His shoes were worn out so I gave him a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they were out of style.

He was cold so I gave him that new birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn't suit you.

His trousers were worn out so I gave him a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore.

Then as he was about to leave the house, he paused and asked, 'Is there anything else that your lover doesn't use anymore?'

"And so, here we are!"
 
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