Gay Jokes

[GreatLakes2]

What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
"It's true! We do taste just like chicken."

What do lesbians call an open can of tuna fish on the coffee table?
Potpourri.

What do you call two well matched gay Irish guys?
Patrick Fitzmichael and Michael Fitzpatrick.

 

[Kodieboy]

What a drag it is getting old...

When I went to the bar tonight, I noticed this old boy about 75-80 years sitting all alone in the corner and he was crying over his cocktail.

I stopped and asked him what was wrong.

He said: "I have a 22 year old lover at home. I met him a month or so ago, right here in this very bar!" He continued; "He makes love to me every morning and then he makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground, brewed coffee."

I said: "Well, then why are you crying?"

He said: "He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then he makes love to me half the afternoon."

I said: "Well, so why are you crying?"

He said: "For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then he makes love to me until 2:00 am."

I said: "Well, for goodness sakes! Why in the world would you be CRYING!"

And he said: "I CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE I LIVE!"

 

[Kodieboy]

Indian Clock
There was once this cowboy, riding through the wild west. One day, off in the distance, he sees a small cloud of dust. So he rides his horse up to it, and finds its an Indian laying on the ground with his cock sticking out of his pants! The cowboy gets off his horse and asks, "What are you doing?", to which the Indian replies, "Me tell time! Penis acts as sundial." The cowboy in disbelief says, "Ok, what time is it?" The Indian looks down at his "3:35..." "That's amazing, your right!" the cowboy says in amazement. So he hops onto his horse and keeps going.

Riding along further, he sees the same thing, gets off his horse, and thinking the last Indian was a fluke, asks this one the time. The Indian looks down at his "one eyed bandit" and says "4:40". The cowboy is stunned, the time was right again! Shaking his head he hops back onto his horse and rides again.

After riding a while again, he sees yet another Indian on the ground with his "bald headed champ" except he was jerking off. The cowboy hops off his horse and says, "And what are you doing?" to which the Indian replies, "Me winding clock."

 

[Kodieboy]

A couple of shots


There was this man who walked into a bar and says to the bartender 10 shots of whiskey.

The bartender asks, "What's the matter?"

The man says, "I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend."

The next day the same man comes in and orders 12 shots of whiskey.

The bartenders asks, "What's wrong this time?"

The man says, "I found out that my son is gay."

The next day the same man comes in the bar and orders 15 shots of whiskey.

Then the bartender asks, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?"

The man looks up and says, "Apprently my wife does."

 

[baal]

Why is it easier to be born Black than to be born gay?

If you're born Black, you don't have to tell your parents!

 

[Jayman01]

Why is it easier to be born Black than to be born gay?

If you're born Black, you don't have to tell your parents!

LOL thanks for sharing.

 

[Kodieboy]

Does this ring any bells JAYMAN

A man came home just in time to find his lover in bed with another man.

In a total rage, he dragged his lover down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise.

He then secured it tightly and removed the handle.

Next he picked up a hacksaw.

The lover terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut it off are you?"

The man, with a gleam of revenge in his eye, said, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."

 

[Jayman01]

Does this ring any bells JAYMAN

A man came home just in time to find his lover in bed with another man.

In a total rage, he dragged his lover down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise.

He then secured it tightly and removed the handle.

Next he picked up a hacksaw.

The lover terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut it off are you?"

The man, with a gleam of revenge in his eye, said, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."

I iknow I have seen that concept somewhere before LOL...

 

[Kodieboy]

Having them nailed to the floor or clamped in a vice ...... hummmmmmmmmm

 

[Jayman01]

Having them nailed to the floor or clamped in a vice ...... hummmmmmmmmm

Either way it is pretty creative. Hey, if they can make the decision to cheat. It seems like the BF should have no problem making a decision after the garage was set on fire. Eh!!!

 

[Kodieboy]

Either way it is pretty creative. Hey, if they can make the decision to cheat. It seems like the BF should have no problem making a decision after the garage was set on fire. Eh!!!

I hate cheaters too.... but i want to know what happened to the guy he cheated with as well.

 

[Jayman01]

I hate cheaters too.... but i want to know what happened to the guy he cheated with as well.

Isn't that where the super glue comes in. LOL

 

[Markymark]

Isn't that where the super glue comes in. LOL

OK OK you guys are a little sicko, ( I like that!)

I think Mel Gibson used the hacksaw version in an early film, made out in Australia, if I remember correctly!

 

[Jayman01]

OK OK you guys are a little sicko, ( I like that!)

I think Mel Gibson used the hacksaw version in an early film, made out in Australia, if I remember correctly!

LOL. I think I remember that somewhere too.

 

[Kodieboy]

OK OK you guys are a little sicko, ( I like that!)

I think Mel Gibson used the hacksaw version in an early film, made out in Australia, if I remember correctly!

Well i myself think you are both having yourselves tonight...... and trying to pull my legs at the same time...... i want the name of the movie

 

[Markymark]

Well i myself think you are both having yourselves tonight...... and trying to pull my legs at the same time...... i want the name of the movie

Kodie, first rule, never "Fuc*" with a drag queen.... OOOh La La talk about flirting with danger... First film was Road Warrior, second was Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. Remember, "We don't need another hero"? performed by Miss Tina, and every black drag queen to walk the boards since then. Now what?

BTW, has it stopped raining there in NSW yet? We finally got some sun here today, but more heavy rain predicted for Monday. Yech!!

Marky

 

[baal]

Two queers, Roger and Colin, are walking through London Zoo one day when they come across the "Rwandan Silverback Gorilla" Cage Kafig. Sitting upright just inside the bars is an eight foot muscle bound Silverback Gorilla and Colin can't help but notice its massive, thick penis hanging there.
"Ooooooh....Look at the dong on him, Roger !" Squeals Colin excitedly. "I've never had one that size in my hand before !" Unable to contain himself, he reaches through the bars and strokes the apple sized bell-end of the ape. Roger tries to pull his boyfriend away but its too late.......the gorilla's shovel like hands clasp Colin's wrist and yank him through the bars, into the Cage Kafig. Roger screams in a gay fashion as Colin is dragged into the gorillas bamboo hut. Whilst in there, Colin is subjected to a very very
very rough bout of anal sex with the Silverback. Roger covers his ears to block Colin's screams and runs to get help. It takes three and a half hours for the Zoo Staff to lure the ape out and fire a tranquilliser dart at its ass. They call an ambulance and Colin is rushed to hospital for major ring piece surgery. A few days later Roger decides to visit his gay pal Colin in Hospital as he hears that he's regained consciousness. Colin is in his bed, crying his eyes out when Roger walks in.
"How are you feeling darling ?" asks Roger quietly.
"Awful !" whimpers Colin "That fucking gorilla shagged my arse rotten!"
"Does it hurt ?" asked Roger
"HURT ?" replies Colin, tears rolling down his cheeks "HURT? HE HASN'T CALLED, HE HASN'T WRITTEN....OF COURSE IT BLOODY HURTS!"

 

[raysvq]

Two queers, Roger and Colin, are walking through London Zoo one day when they come across the "Rwandan Silverback Gorilla" Cage Kafig. Sitting upright just inside the bars is an eight foot muscle bound Silverback Gorilla and Colin can't help but notice its massive, thick penis hanging there.
"Ooooooh....Look at the dong on him, Roger !" Squeals Colin excitedly. "I've never had one that size in my hand before !" Unable to contain himself, he reaches through the bars and strokes the apple sized bell-end of the ape. Roger tries to pull his boyfriend away but its too late.......the gorilla's shovel like hands clasp Colin's wrist and yank him through the bars, into the Cage Kafig. Roger screams in a gay fashion as Colin is dragged into the gorillas bamboo hut. Whilst in there, Colin is subjected to a very very
very rough bout of anal sex with the Silverback. Roger covers his ears to block Colin's screams and runs to get help. It takes three and a half hours for the Zoo Staff to lure the ape out and fire a tranquilliser dart at its ass. They call an ambulance and Colin is rushed to hospital for major ring piece surgery. A few days later Roger decides to visit his gay pal Colin in Hospital as he hears that he's regained consciousness. Colin is in his bed, crying his eyes out when Roger walks in.
"How are you feeling darling ?" asks Roger quietly.
"Awful !" whimpers Colin "That fucking gorilla shagged my arse rotten!"
"Does it hurt ?" asked Roger
"HURT ?" replies Colin, tears rolling down his cheeks "HURT? HE HASN'T CALLED, HE HASN'T WRITTEN....OF COURSE IT BLOODY HURTS!"

I know the feeling

 

[Kodieboy]

Kodie, first rule, never "Fuc*" with a drag queen.... OOOh La La talk about flirting with danger... First film was Road Warrior, second was Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. Remember, "We don't need another hero"? performed by Miss Tina, and every black drag queen to walk the boards since then. Now what?

BTW, has it stopped raining there in NSW yet? We finally got some sun here today, but more heavy rain predicted for Monday. Yech!!

Marky

What RAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN .............. and what drag queen did i f*** with lol

 

[Kodieboy]

Two queers, Roger and Colin, are walking through London Zoo one day when they come across the "Rwandan Silverback Gorilla" Cage Kafig. Sitting upright just inside the bars is an eight foot muscle bound Silverback Gorilla and Colin can't help but notice its massive, thick penis hanging there.
"Ooooooh....Look at the dong on him, Roger !" Squeals Colin excitedly. "I've never had one that size in my hand before !" Unable to contain himself, he reaches through the bars and strokes the apple sized bell-end of the ape. Roger tries to pull his boyfriend away but its too late.......the gorilla's shovel like hands clasp Colin's wrist and yank him through the bars, into the Cage Kafig. Roger screams in a gay fashion as Colin is dragged into the gorillas bamboo hut. Whilst in there, Colin is subjected to a very very
very rough bout of anal sex with the Silverback. Roger covers his ears to block Colin's screams and runs to get help. It takes three and a half hours for the Zoo Staff to lure the ape out and fire a tranquilliser dart at its ass. They call an ambulance and Colin is rushed to hospital for major ring piece surgery. A few days later Roger decides to visit his gay pal Colin in Hospital as he hears that he's regained consciousness. Colin is in his bed, crying his eyes out when Roger walks in.
"How are you feeling darling ?" asks Roger quietly.
"Awful !" whimpers Colin "That fucking gorilla shagged my arse rotten!"
"Does it hurt ?" asked Roger
"HURT ?" replies Colin, tears rolling down his cheeks "HURT? HE HASN'T CALLED, HE HASN'T WRITTEN....OF COURSE IT BLOODY HURTS!"

I myself can not imagine a Colin being this stupidddddddddddddddd ....now a Roger ........ yesssssssssssssssssssssssss