Anal stimulation was never a part of my j/o routine.
I once lived with a hypersexed roommate 15 years my junior on and off again over a span of 17 years. He was primarily (99%) straight, a womanizer, and could charm the pants off of anybody. On those rare, rare, rare moments when he was horny and needed a fix, we were fooling around in the bed together and he asked me to play with his ass. At the time he was 30 and I was 45 and although I was much older, I was Gay after all. Surely, by 1993 I knew what to do. Since I had never even played with my own ass, he understandably found my attempts unpleasant. Hell, I didn't know what I was doing. He was the one who routinely incorporated ass play while he was jacking off, not me.
So, after my best but most uninformed efforts failed to please him, I decided the next day to fashion my own
Dildo The lowly carrot was my first weapon of attack. I purchased two of the fattest and hopefully most stout carrots I could find. As I was fearful of their breaking while inside, I put a condom on it to increase my chances of retrieval, should it break. The last thing I wanted to happen was to find it necessary to visit the ER in my rural hospital and ask them to remove a carrot caught in my ass! LOL
Being that I am a bit "anal-retentive" anyway, but specially when fashioning sex toys, I wanted to make sure no detail too small was left out. Like carving a pumpkin at Halloween, I took my requisite carving skills to fashion the anatomically perfect erect carrot-turned-penis worthy of being prominently displayed in Madame Tussuad's Wax Museum. My efforts were painstaking and the contours of a beautifully carved dickhead with its flared edges and it's pouty, delicately kissable tip were the two design elements essential for this project to see daylight, only upon use to be immediately banished into a tunnel where the sun don't shine! I felt like a sculptor and felt so good about my first efforts, that I fashioned a second one expressly for my roommate to use at his own discretion and to add his own artistic touches.
To make a long story short,
it did work but could have worked better if I had some lube available. My whole sexual preferences were oral in nature ONLY, back then. All of this seems today rather sophomoric looking back, doesn't it, but remember the internet was in its infancy and I did not even own a computer back then. The only computers with internet capability I had use of was in my office at school and venturing off into porn-land was strictly forbidden.
In fact it has only been in the last two years after extensive exposure of internet porn, that I have finally developed an interest at age 60. I guess I must be the latest bloomer on record to anal pleasures.
Embarrassed, but truthful,
Stimpy
