What's right or wrong to say about a model who does not turn us on?

[mikeyank]

From the early days of this forum, I've been of the belief that it is our forum to freely discuss scenes and models that we either like or do not, but there are some who think that we should never say anything negative about our perception of a model's looks as they have access to read the forum too and it can be insulting and bruising to a young man's ego to read negativity about himself, which of course has merit as well. When we love a model, it is a no brainer for us to rave about our enjoyment and how he turns us on, but should we just remain silent when a guy is not to our liking? And what is the right thing to say regarding a scene with a guy we like, when he is paired with one we do not? I don't know.

I always say that having models post on the forum is a "double edge sword" as it's great to be able to "talk" directly to them, but it is also inhibiting when we aren't a fan, to say how we really feel, and I don't like to think that people are holding back their true feelings in these situations. I am torn on the issue and wonder how others feel.

 

[peterh6308]

I have no problem reading a members opinion on a certain model good or bad. What I get tired of is their constant comments on that model good or bad it gets old especially when the model isn't even in the current scenes. I've read comments about Chandler over the last few days that weren't very nice. He may not be everyone's type but I like him and enjoy his scenes, as well as David. Not everyone's a Gage Owens fan!!!!! But I feel if you have nothing but negative to say about a model that others enjoy then maybe being quiet is best for the sake of your fellow members.

 

[johnny]

Good thread mike. I think now is different.You really can't say what you feel anymore. If you don't upset a member.
You may upset a model. It is not your old Broke Straight Boys Big Brother is now watching. If you don't like something just keep it to yourself.
Don't like it ? Don't say a word just rate it. Not as much fun as it was. But keeps us out of trouble. If you like one model in a scene say so.
Just don't say anything about the other. I think that will say it all.So as Peter said being quiet
is best for the sake of your fellow members. So your being a phony. But again if you like something say it.

 

[joeychuck2]

Mikey think of it as taking to people in general. Someone says "how do I look?" What do you say? As you know each of us has different tastes. We get turned on or off by different people. Everyone understands. If you say you don't get turned on by someone I'm sure othere will get turned on by him. We can give advice on activities we like or ways they can improve without destroying someone.

 

[another1]

if I am ask, how am I doing? it serves no purpose to be misleading. others will see the same issues and while not saying anything, quitely rate the model low and rate his scenes low. looking plain may be a life time thing. a bad haircut can grow out.
I am a fan. I am not a cheerleader or a toady.

 

[ertas23]

If someone I do not personally "know" makes a "nice" comment about me, being human I will thank him or her for something meant to be complementary. I may not believe them or may not think they are sincere, but I was brought up to graciously accept a complement.

Now if someone, under similar familiarity circumstances, offers I critique, I may bristle, I may respond like a smart ass (exposing my less-than-gracious character) or may simply walk away. I believe under such circumstances, they have no right (or obligation) to share a negative comment with me.

So, the flip-side of my upbringing comes from the Disney film, Bambi. "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Words I have lived by my entire life (and only recently posted my first "Please, shut the fuck up and let sleeping dogs lie!" response. Sort of regretted it but the deed was done.) I don't think you will hear me harp on about my lack of enthusiasm about a particular individual or scene. It is just not in my nature and I don't care to read others' lamentations.

Hence, I skip over such posts and move on with the social standards with which I was brought up to exercise as social graces.

t.

 

[juanjo]

It is one thing to say for example that one does not care for the style of a particular model and to offer positive criticism, i.e. comments which are not simply an attack but rather a critique with helpful suggestions. It is also true that there are going to be some models who are simply not one's type for whatever reason. Understood. But to attack a model and carp about them appearing every single time they are in a scene is tiresome. We get it, you don't like them. Now shit up and look at the ones you do like.

These are human beings and they deserve the same level of respect as any human being. It does not matter if they are paid to perform here. They are not paid to listen to someone regularly complain about them whenever they appear in a scene.

Likewise it is unfair to carp at the model about something they have no control over whatsoever. For example the models do not decide when they videos are posted, the order in which they are posted etc. So if they have been over exposed because of the schedule management has used then send a message to management. I know I for one am sick of hearing the same people bitch about the schedule every time a model or two are used. We got it the first time.

And for those who think they have a right to say whatever they wish, well not really. First of all the management here has every right to remove your comments from here or ban you from posting if they so choose. The Constitution only protects you from the government acting against you. Likewise, if you post then everyone else has the right to comment on your comments.

 

[BrooklynRider]

It is one thing to say for example that one does not care for the style of a particular model and to offer positive criticism, i.e. comments which are not simply an attack but rather a critique with helpful suggestions. It is also true that there are going to be some models who are simply not one's type for whatever reason. Understood. But to attack a model and carp about them appearing every single time they are in a scene is tiresome. We get it, you don't like them. Now shit up and look at the ones you do like.

These are human beings and they deserve the same level of respect as any human being. It does not matter if they are paid to perform here. They are not paid to listen to someone regularly complain about them whenever they appear in a scene.

Likewise it is unfair to carp at the model about something they have no control over whatsoever. For example the models do not decide when they videos are posted, the order in which they are posted etc. So if they have been over exposed because of the schedule management has used then send a message to management. I know I for one am sick of hearing the same people bitch about the schedule every time a model or two are used. We got it the first time.

And for those who think they have a right to say whatever they wish, well not really. First of all the management here has every right to remove your comments from here or ban you from posting if they so choose. The Constitution only protects you from the government acting against you. Likewise, if you post then everyone else has the right to comment on your comments.

Well said, Juanjo.

 

[Spartans987]

I have no problem reading a members opinion on a certain model good or bad. What I get tired of is their constant comments on that model good or bad it gets old especially when the model isn't even in the current scenes. I've read comments about Chandler over the last few days that weren't very nice. He may not be everyone's type but I like him and enjoy his scenes, as well as David. Not everyone's a Gage Owens fan!!!!! But I feel if you have nothing but negative to say about a model that others enjoy then maybe being quiet is best for the sake of your fellow members.

I was going to say the same thing. So now I don't have too - Ditto

 

[Leedwb]

Well said, Juanjo. I agree with most of what you said. I think a member can indicate their like/dislike for a model/scene without having to get nasty. The models are sometimes put in a position where members gripe about wanting the models to come to the forum and chat with the members, then a member can go off about a model who was "encouraged" to come to the forum, effectively spewing nastiness all over them; so I don't think we can invite the guys to come chat with us, then post vitriolic comments about those models. Same think with member comments regarding other members - some of those who have been on the forum for many years have a tendency to speak or comment about other members in a less than flattering manner while whining that the forum activity has dropped off and so many members are leaving or not participating in the discussions, just like the models, you can't be insulting/demeaning or demanding and expect people to keep returning.

 

[mikeyank]

Thanks guys for offering your opinions, and most of you feel as I'd thought you would from reading your forum comments. A question I've had for a long time is how many of the models read the forum, (and the comment page)? However, since the comment page has been "sanitized", no negative comments are posted there anymore. But the forum has been and contnues to be the only place that I make my comments.

I recently re-watched a behind the scenes from May 2011, called "Jamie Bobby And Jimmy Take On The Board", where the three mentioned boys are reading the forum and our comments about them, and they seem both amused and surprised that that such a forum exists. Of course most of the negativity in the comments were directed toward Jimmy and he typically laughed it all off, being the confident alpha male that he is.

There was also a similar scene (which I just watched now for the first time in many years), called "Interviewing" with Bobby, Colin, Anthony, Darren, Chad and Conner, being interviewed by Clay and includes their reading forum comments as well.

http://members.brokestraightboys.com/play/ODg4/interviewing

They all seem to have a great attitude, and I am blushing as Colin, Darren and Clay say very nice things about me, but that's not why I am pointing it out, it's just that most of them are surprised to be reading our comments. Only a few models like Colin seemed to read it. But it is interesting watching models reacting to our comments, although again in this scene the only negativity is about Jimmy.

Overall, I guess the best policy is to simply state if a model is not someone we enjoy, but to try not to harp on negativity about their looks, as that is rude, and to blame management if we think a model's scenes are shown too often in a short period as the performers are not involved at all in the scheduling of scenes. Thanks to all who've answered my question, as your answers and re-watching these guys read the forum again has been enlightening to me.

 

[mikeyank]

Well said, Juanjo. I agree with most of what you said. I think a member can indicate their like/dislike for a model/scene without having to get nasty. The models are sometimes put in a position where members gripe about wanting the models to come to the forum and chat with the members, then a member can go off about a model who was "encouraged" to come to the forum, effectively spewing nastiness all over them; so I don't think we can invite the guys to come chat with us, then post vitriolic comments about those models. Same think with member comments regarding other members - some of those who have been on the forum for many years have a tendency to speak or comment about other members in a less than flattering manner while whining that the forum activity has dropped off and so many members are leaving or not participating in the discussions, just like the models, you can't be insulting/demeaning or demanding and expect people to keep returning.

I agree with the first part of your comment Leedwb, but I am puzzled by the part I highlighted in red. Being one of the two who has been here the longest, I don't see us as speaking about other forum members in a less than flattering way, unless I am missing something. I thought I was as welcoming to newbies as possible, and open to all opinions, whether I agree with them or not.

 

[Leedwb]

You are so right, mikeyank, and rest assured that insight was NOT projected in your direction. I only said "have been on the forum for many years", not "the longest". While I tend to agree also that you have not been unkind to other members, I cannot say that about all of the more senior members. My comment was in no way meant to cast shade your way. This was only an observation that there are those on the forum that would not only cast boulders at the models when a light salting of pebbles would get the point across, but would also cast those same boulders at fellow members.

 

[thejudge]

Part of creating Art is the knowledge that it may be received in many ways. It isn't our responsibility as "Viewers" to respond in a manner that doesn't represent our opinion. They're in "Show Business"! Gotta have a Thick Skin & A Level He ad that allows them to realize that all of this is Business & Fantasy.They are here to get paid to engage in Sex Acts. We're here to watch. As. Long as we are reasonably respectful in our post that's as far as responsibility goes.

 

[betudidntknow]

I have no problem reading a members opinion on a certain model good or bad. What I get tired of is their constant comments on that model good or bad it gets old especially when the model isn't even in the current scenes. I've read comments about Chandler over the last few days that weren't very nice. He may not be everyone's type but I like him and enjoy his scenes, as well as David. Not everyone's a Gage Owens fan!!!!! But I feel if you have nothing but negative to say about a model that others enjoy then maybe being quiet is best for the sake of your fellow members.

I agree with many of the points made in this comment. We all have different tastes in models and scenes. The feedback (I'm sure) is taken into consideration to the degree that it's "feasible" to implement in future scenes or models may even take some of the suggestions as ways to expand their performance repertoire. My only issue with reading the same negative comments or suggestions by the same posters is: I guess I don't see this as a "Design your own porn scene entertainment"! So, if I don't see what I want, I watch the scenes I do like, or the models I do enjoy. If I see something I enjoy, I tag that scene. Do I expect to see the same thing again with the same models, not really. It just becomes so complicated because people make it so through their repetitive and often critical comments. It's nice to have a variety. Let those who enjoy what they SEE enjoy it. When it's your scene......I'll bet you'll have nothing but good things to share too!

 

[mikeyank]

Part of creating Art is the knowledge that it may be received in many ways. It isn't our responsibility as "Viewers" to respond in a manner that doesn't represent our opinion. They're in "Show Business"! Gotta have a Thick Skin & A Level He ad that allows them to realize that all of this is Business & Fantasy.They are here to get paid to engage in Sex Acts. We're here to watch. As. Long as we are reasonably respectful in our post that's as far as responsibility goes.

Please don't take this the wrong way, judge, but I think I love you! lol

 

[stowe1]

Why all this angst? It really shouldn't be all that complicated. This is how I see it:

1. This is a free and open forum for members of Broke Straight Boys site? If you want to join in and express your views, then you are free to do so. Seeing as how it is a moderated site, then the moderator decides what is acceptable to stay on various boards of the forum or what is not. The moderator is either the site owner or his designee.

2. I can post whatever I like within the bounds of propriety - those bounds being ultimately decided by the moderator.

3. If people don't like what I post that is their prerogative. Just as it is mine to disagree or ignore theirs.

4. If things get out of hand (like nobelegg saying Paul should die) then any forumite should call that to the attention of the moderator immediately because something like that is beyond any rational view of propriety.

5. With regards to talking about models, the door to that barn was opened and the horses left a long time ago. Models can't expect to read only wonderful things on the forum. Part of the process of the forum is critiquing performances of the model. That means good points and not so good points as seen by the person who watched the scene. If a model expects only good things all the time, then he is living in a dream world. And I bet if someone were able to do an analysis, the positive comments would far outpace the negative.


In closing, I'd just say that if I don't like someone's comments on a consistant basis, then I'd use the ignore function. But I don't because I will peruse their comments because every once in a while, I can agree with him - perish the thought! - lol

And finally, for me, I don't care whether people like my comments or read them. That's up to them. All I know is when I want to say something, then I will say it, the way I want to say it, whenever I want to say it.

 

[mikeyank]

I largely agree with your comments Stowe, as I agreed with the judge's comments earlier today. I always felt the same way as you guys do, but in recent times, there has been some heavy duty criticism from other forumites regarding what we should or should not say, with the models having the ability to read our words and how hurtful it can be to a young man's fragile ego. We recently had David Hardy take umbrage with some comments regarding management's overuse of him and a few others, and he implied he was quitting working for the site as a result of our comments.

I've decided to tone down my comments based on criticism from other forumites whose opinion's I respect, but in my heart, I agree with your position Stowe. I am still conflicted on the issue and that is why I started this thread, but I do appreciate everyone's honest views on this confusing issue, to me.

 

[stowe1]

Some comments on your post, mikey:

I largely agree with your comments Stowe, as I agreed with the judge's comments earlier today. I always felt the same way as you guys do, (1)but in recent times, there has been some heavy duty criticism from other forumites regarding what we should or should not say, (2) with the models having the ability to read our words and how hurtful it can be to a young man's fragile ego. (3) We recently had David Hardy take umbrage with some comments regarding management's overuse of him and a few others, and he implied he was quitting working for the site as a result of our comments.

(4) I've decided to tone down my comments based on criticism from other forumites whose opinion's I respect, but in my heart, I agree with your position Stowe. I am still conflicted on the issue and that is why I started this thread, but I do appreciate everyone's honest views on this confusing issue, to me.

(1) Let the criticism, heavy duty or not, be as it is. If they don't like what you say, when you say it, or how you say it that is their problem, not yours or whoever's post are being criticized. They have the option to ignore your posts in a variety of ways. If the bounds of propriety are crossed the moderator will let any of us know. Those criticizers are not the arbiters of what is "postable" on this forum.

(2) If the models don't like what they read, they can also ignore the comments. As I stated previously they can not expect only to read positive comments when a poster is reviewing the scene which naturally includes commenting on the models' performances.

(3) So David Hardy had a hissy-fit because he didn't like comments about the fact that some forumites believe he has been overused; despite that those comments were generally made in the context of how much the poster likes David and his performance and indicates that the fault of the overuse lies at the feet of management not him. Many forumite like to believe that these models have poor fragile egos. That view might make those forumites' egos feel good, but believe me if they are in this business precious few of them have fragile egos. If anything they have been hardened to the vagaries of the porn world whether or not we like to acknowledge that. And believe me if the money was good and knowing he was one of the more well-liked models, David is not leaving because of a few comments he took umbrage with. If he truly is leaving, dime to a dollar it is because of other factors than umbrage-taking.

(4) There are other forumites, myself included, who think it would be a mistake for you to tone down or do anything with your commentaries but to express what you feel, when you want to express it, and how you want to express it. What you say carries weight on this forum and you are consistently the peacemaker and nice guy of the forum. God knows I acknowledgte your influence on my being a tad less curmudgeonly. So when you express concern about a particular matter, it does mean something. And I've never known you to engage in "ad hominem" attacks on anyone unless they have egregiously crossed the line of propriety, e.g. nobelegg, and even then you were relatively circumspect in your choice of words. If I read mikeyank posts and I do not think I am getting what mikeyank truly feel and opines, then the forum is a lesser place for me. Your supporters are of longer standing than your detractors, so listen to us. Come on, mikey, don't let a few naysayers change who you are. Listen to us "yea-sayers" and continue keepin' it real.

 

[StudddAndy]

If someone I do not personally "know" makes a "nice" comment about me, being human I will thank him or her for something meant to be complementary. I may not believe them or may not think they are sincere, but I was brought up to graciously accept a complement.

Now if someone, under similar familiarity circumstances, offers I critique, I may bristle, I may respond like a smart ass (exposing my less-than-gracious character) or may simply walk away. I believe under such circumstances, they have no right (or obligation) to share a negative comment with me.

So, the flip-side of my upbringing comes from the Disney film, Bambi. "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Words I have lived by my entire life (and only recently posted my first "Please, shut the fuck up and let sleeping dogs lie!" response. Sort of regretted it but the deed was done.) I don't think you will hear me harp on about my lack of enthusiasm about a particular individual or scene. It is just not in my nature and I don't care to read others' lamentations.

Hence, I skip over such posts and move on with the social standards with which I was brought up to exercise as social graces.

t.

Well said. Amen!