When I am in a group of people and it's necessary to describe another person by their ethnicity, what's the most appropriate word or term to use? I am a Black man, at least, that's how I choose to reference it. I can also use the term "African American" though, I am not directly from Africa ( as are a few of my social peers) but I was born in America (Connecticut to be exact) I can live with this reference also.
I've been in situations where the term "Colored people" has been used. From my perspective, this is an old term and, the people who use it usually are too! I don't think they do it to be "unfriendly" but, they seem to be confused as to what term to use. If I am in the situation with the opportunity to "educate" them on how I like to be addressed, I gently open up a dialogue and know how I like to be called by my first name, or using the term "Black" is okay (as an ethnic description). Words like, "Boy, or the N word" usually mean that person is not coming from a good place, I usually remove myself at that point!
When I lived in San Diego, there was a very large and diverse community of people in the city. Some of Asian influence, and since Mexico was just on the border, a large Mexican population existed also. In some instances, the Mexican population were there illegally, and working. I learned quickly that, being called "A Mexican" when in fact, a person may have been of a Hispanic origin, but not Mexican, also stirred things up!
Just wondering how others' navigate through the sometimes confusing use of "the right ethnic term".? I am sure that there a few non-whites that may have encountered some awkward times with people using the "friendlier terms."
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Hey, Betu -
It's an interesting post, and a good topic. I bet there are lots of well-meaning "white people" (
viz., people of European descent) who wonder about such things, often. . . I know I do!
I grew up in a tiny Canadian farming village, in which half the people were English or Scottish (like me): and the other half were immigrants from Eastern Europe - - - Ukrainian, Russian, Polish, and Hungarian. (And, BTW, my Daddy told me, back in the day - never the twain should meet!!! It was considered a SCANDAL if a WASP boy should date. . . let alone marry. . . a Slavic girl: or,
vice versa.)
Betu, this is gonna make you cringe, and it makes me cringe now, too - - - but I remember the first time we all went to the city, to go to the museum and the theatre on a field-trip, in a big school-bus. . . (I was six): and it was the first time we ever saw a person who wasn't white. . . I remember kids hanging out the windows of the bus, and exclaiming - "Look at THAT lady - she's BLACK!!!" Even remembering stuff like that, is extremely painful to me, now.
Likewise, I would say to MikeYank - there were no Jewish people in my town, growing up. The first time I met a Jewish person, it was one of my favourite (and very beloved) political science professors at university - it was a small university town, but still (then) very WASP. He was a Sephardic Jew from Spain, and he had his sons bar mitzvah'd in that town, and it was the first bar mitzvah that was held in that town, for 70 YEARS.
Mike, I have been on a bit of a
learning curve, since then. My first boss, who was a great teacher - and I LOVE her - was Jewish (from a famous German-Jewish family): and I remember, one time, when I was first working for her, I got a ham sandwich from the cafeteria. . . I love ham - - - I grew up on a PIG-FARM! - - -and I hid the sandwich in my top-desk-drawer ;-) She said, "A, there's no need to HIDE IT - I like a nice BLT, from time to time!" (She wasn't Orthodox, obviously ;-)))
Anyway, Betu, it is very interesting, the way LANGUAGE works, and ethnic self-definitions, work. Admittedly, "coloured" is a term of the past - and is mostly offensive to people, now. Though once it wasn't: as, consider, the title of the NAACP. But the last time I ever heard anyone use the term "coloured", it was one of my old Scottish aunties - and they were from the old country, and they weren't very sensitive, at ALL.
But up here in Canada, it is interesting that many or most Canadians of African heritage - most of whom, here, have ancestors who came from Caribbean countries - like and prefer the term "Black", as a self-description. While, in the U.S.A., it seems like "Black" is, as an ethnic self-description, pretty passé, and "African-American" is
de rigueur.
And Peter and Louis might be interested in this, but, in Canada, there has been a huge evolution in the way "Native Canadians" speak of themselves - and prefer to be referred to. When I was a kid, in the '60's and '70's, no one batted an eye about referring to our indigenous people as "Indians". (In fact, the national organization for Native Canadians was called, "The National Indian Brotherhood". I guess that was a little bit gender-biased, too??? LOL!)
But over the past 40 years, the preferred language has gone from "Canadian Indians", to "Native Canadians", to "First Nations People" and "Aboriginal People" - the latter term being considered inclusive of the people formerly considered "Canadian Indians", as well as Inuit people (formerly called Eskimos), and Metis people - who are of mixed European and Native ancestry.
Now, for dumb Scotsman like me, this is all kind of quite a MAZE to negotiate! But, I also GET IT, Betu.
Nobody ever called a SCOT, anything other than a SCOT. And nobody ever called an IRISHMAN, anything but an IRISHMAN. (Though, in earlier days in North America, some people had VERY BAD things to say about the Irish - and, as I have told dear Jamie, my Grandmother was Irish, and a teacher, and one of her students once laughingly called her, "MIKE" - because that was a subtle deprecatory JOKE about her being Irish ;-) *Back in the 1920's, in Canada, Irish people were considered second-class citizens in Canada - even if they WERE Protestant!)* (BTW, though my Grandmother had the power to STRAP the boy, she didn't - she just laughed. . . which I think was the best response ;-)
For sure, when your family and your ethnic group have been subjected to discrimination over years (and perhaps even centuries) it is always a STRUGGLE to come up with a
self-description that is both true to your origins, and also dignified and RESPECTFUL. And I think ALL social and ethnic groups who have been subjected to hurt and calumny over the years, struggle with this. Hence, the evolution of language.
Betu, as a keen student of language, I know that the English language constantly EVOLVES. And I have no problem kind of rolling with things, and learning a little bit more about how my friends from other ethnic backgrounds from mine prefer to be described. I understand how this can be, and WHY it is, an issue: and so I'm happy to innovate, and alter my usage - - - so friends I care about can know that they are cared-about, and respected. The FINAL CHOICE, in terms of terminology, is THEIRS to make, not MINE - and I am fine, with that.
But what I am loving MOST on this thread is Another1's beautiful comment that he would like to be judged, if for ANY organ, not for his SKIN, but for his BRAIN. This is, I think, a beautiful and smart and up-to-date way of expressing what Dr. Martin Luther King had to say about judging people, first and foremost, on the
content of their character.
Because, Betu, in this long life of mine, I want to assure you. . . I've met BAD and HORRIBLE people from EVERY RACE and TRIBE and ETHNICITY and BACKGROUND. But also, fine and good and
absolutely lovable people, from EVERY background, on the globe. And I think EVERY HUMAN BEING deserves to be treated as an
individual - - - as a unique and singular moment, in human history. As regards his ideas (and hopes and dreams); as regards his mind, and intellect; as regards his compassion and love, for other people; and as regards his potential, AS A FRIEND, or LOVED-ONE.
I have really been surprised, by the turn my life has taken. I grew up in a tiny, claustrophobic little community - whose existence, and prejudices, were made famous in a number of celebrated Canadian novels. I NEVER thought I'd EVER be attracted to anyone who wasn't English, Scottish, or Slavic. I've learned that I was wrong. . . and that there is a whole huge world of kind and sweet and gorgeous Black and Asian and Latino and North American Aboriginal men out there. . . and that they are lovable, and SEXY, too! AND that, there are SO, SO MANY sweet and kind and lovely FRIENDS out there, just waiting for you - who come from such different backgrounds, you never would have suspected you'd EVER connect with them. (One of my best friends now, is a Muslim Tatar, from Russia.)
So, it's GOOD to be open. And it's important to be kind and loving to everyone. And to treat every human being you get to know, as an INDIVIDUAL. And (I think) if you are willing to do that - - - the questions of LANGUAGE, and terminology, will settle themselves. And, happily, so.
"A" XOXOXOXOXOXO
