Sexual Education Advice

[tampa24]

You always amaze me as to what you can bring to light.... Bodies of light, humor and anatomy lessons. Speaking of anatomy lessons, I have always favored the Braille system of learning anatomy.

Yours always,

Tucsonjayce

Nothing beats hands on experience!

 

[Jayman01]

Gotta love the old hands on experience part.

 

[Jayman01]

I Have Bumps On My Foreskin!

I have 2 bumps on the foreskin of my penis that do not hurt and are not open sores. It seems like they are getting bigger. I tried to squeeze them to see if they would burst, but no success. What’s going on?

No one can diagnose your problem online, so you should head to the doctor as soon as possible, especially since the bumps are getting bigger. This could just be an irritation, but there are also STDs such as penile warts, herpes and syphilis that can have bump-like symptoms. “Normal” bumps can also be cysts and infections of the hair follicles.

For more information on STD testing, visit City Clinic or call the CDC National Hotline for places near you: 1-800-CDC-INFO.

To your health,
Dr. K








Dr. K is Jeffrey D. Klausner, MD, MPH, a board-certified internist and infectious disease specialist. Currently, he is a deputy health officer and director of the STD Prevention and Control Services Section at the San Francisco Department of Public Health.

This information is for educational purposes only and is not intended to serve as medical advice. The information provided should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease. It is not a substitute for professional care. If you have or suspect you may have a health problem, you should consult your health care provider.

Posted by Gay.com on January 22, 2009 in Health

 

[Jayman01]

Taking Care of Your Balls

Jump in the shower and get your balls warm, wet and slippery. Now, gently play with them; move them around in your hands. Feels pretty good, doesn't it? Make sure you take your time and really get a feel for how big they are. Is one larger than the other? Is there anything different about them?


This isn't a lesson in foreplay but how you should check your balls every month for testicular cancer. I'm not going to bombard you with a lot of scary statistics or words of doom because there is only one stat you need to know. For guys between 12 and 50, the most common form of cancer is testicular. The good news is it is also one of the easiest to cure, IF it's caught in time.

Having a cute doctor in the shower with you would be the best way to show you how to examine yourself, but you'll have to find the doctor. Instead, how about a naked English rugby team being examined by a cute doctor with a charming British accent? It's a great video, both from a visual and informational standpoint. But I'll warn you, if seeing a room full of completely naked men massaging their balls isn't your thing, don't watch the video. (Some have said it's a little too risqué so all you in the U.S. will need to confirm your birthday in order to see it.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUVKN8tMpaE

Actually this would be great for Nurse AJ and or Dr. Rimmerman to cover in College Boy Physicals. This would be a great segway into sexual antics. Educational too...


In case you're too distracted to catch all the medical information in the video, here are the three simple steps you should perform each and every month.

1. Take a warm shower or bath
The warm water will cause your scrotum to relax, allowing you to check your balls more easily.

2. Examine your balls
Using your thumb and first two fingers, slowly feel around each testicle, from front to back, making sure to go completely around each one. You're looking for lumps or anything hard that wasn't there before. The lumps usually aren't painful, so even if a lump doesn't hurt, you still need to get it checked out.

3. Check the plumbing
While you're in the area, check the epididymis and the vas deferens. Locate the epididymis (the coiled "tubing" that attaches to each testicle) and gently feel. This area is naturally sensitive, so don't get alarmed. Follow it up to the vans deferens (the tube leading away from your balls). Feel for any bumps, nodules or overly sensitive areas.

Finding anything unusual or experiencing a dull ache in your groin or lower abdomen warrants a trip to your doctor immediately.

The National Men's Resource Center is offering a water-proof hanging card to go in the shower to remind you of these steps.

Just because this exam is extremely important doesn't mean you can't have fun while doing it. Invite a friend (or two) into the shower with you and take turns checking each other. However, don't get caught up in the moment and forget to complete the task at hand. Finish examining each other before you move on to the fun stuff.

This information is for educational purposes only and is not intended to serve as medical advice. The information provided should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease. It is not a substitute for professional care. If you have or suspect you may have a health problem, you should consult your health care provider.

Posted by James Schend on January 20, 2009, Gay.com in Health

 

[Jayman01]

Getting you and Your Partner Off

To increase your sexual satisfaction, it is important to address the six most common types of sexual performance problems.

Impotence problems reflect struggles with achieving and maintaining an erection.

Ejaculation problems
Sometimes a guy gets off too quickly or not able to get off at all. Ejaculation is when come is present and is not the same as an orgasm. They are often linked, so confusion is possible.

Orgasm problems
Some people aren't able to orgasm. An orgasm is the body response that is “involuntary” to sexual arousal. It is equivalent to the “sneezing” response of the body --it is going to happen no matter what.

Anal pain
Some people have too much pain when getting penetrated.

Low Sexual Desire
Sexual desire changes over time, both in terms of frequency and targets of sexual pleasure.

Sexual Aversion
An avoidance of sexuality or sexual behavior.

Obstacles To Blast Off

Medical care
You've heard it before but it still holds true. The first place of intervention is to get a complete medical check-up and address any medical issues. The causes of sexual dysfunction are varied and require tailored treatment plans. Medical issues could be age, high blood pressure, side effects of medications, etc. If there is a medical condition, no amount of talk therapy will help.

Knowledge
Many partners don't know how to stimulate their partners. Your job is to ask your partner what he likes just as it is your job to share with your partner what you like. Each of us has body parts more arousing for us. On the topic of masturbation and lasting longer, I highlighted the importance of getting to know your body and sharing this with your partner. Great sex requires talking with each other about what you like as well as what you don't like

Life
Sometimes life events such as stress, lack of sleep, job changes impair your ability to function. In these cases, healthy coping with the events will help you on the sexual functioning level.

Mental Health
Anxiety, depression, self-esteem, performance anxiety, and fear of disapproval are examples of mental health concerns that may impair getting off.

Reality
Keeping a realistic expectation is important. Older guys typically have a longer time between the ability to have an erection and the intensity of ejaculation changes (usually for the worse) than younger guys. If we compare ourselves to the young porn stars all the time, we're bound to have difficulties.

It's just the wrong time?
This is a catch all category. Take a look at what might be getting in the way. If you're going for a quickie, the rush and pace of the setting can curb your libido. And 'newsflash' guys; if you've been drinking expect things to take longer to happen, if they happen at all.

What You Can Do

• Get a medical check-up. As the commercials go, make sure you're healthy enough for sex.
• Learn about your body. What do you like or don't like. Share this with your partner and ask him about what he likes and doesn't like.
• Address external circumstances in your life such as stress, exhaustion etc.
• Address mental health issues related to functioning. A conversation with a professional may help.
• Be realistic in light of age, circumstances, or setting.
• Take your time. Improved sexual functioning is a process of practice, taking your time and learning what works and doesn't work. With a partner, using various touch techniques can decrease anxiety and address internal messages. Shame due to poor body image can be addressed through mutual affirmation with a partner which can take time. Addressing anal pain requires time to loosen the muscles allowing a guy to be penetrated.
• Focus on other forms of sexual pleasure other than exclusive attention to the erection or orgasm.

Do you have an emotional-health question? Send your question in an e-mail to [email protected]

"Weston Edwards is a professionally trained and experienced psychologist licensed by the Minnesota Board of Psychology. He specializes in individual, couple and group counseling and has specific experiences working with sexuality, spirituality, chemical dependency and mental-health issues. He is in private practice at the Sexual Health Institute. Dr. Edwards is also on staff at the Pride Institute providing sexuality and chemical dependency treatment for the LGBT community."

This information is for educational purposes only and is not intended to serve as medical advice. The information provided should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease. It is not a substitute for professional care. If you have or suspect you may have a health problem, you should consult your health care provider.



Posted by Weston Edwards on November 17, 2008 Gay.com in Sexuality

 

[tampa24]

Thanks for the info. Any chance of getting the link to that testicular exam video?

 

[slimvintage]

Thanks for the info. Any chance of getting the link to that testicular exam video?

The one with the rugby team? That could be mega-informative and uber-useful.

 

[Jayman01]

The one with the rugby team? That could be mega-informative and uber-useful.

I installed the video link...

 

[tampa24]

For those of you who have some serious skills in the fellatio department I was wondering if you could give the rest of us some pointers. How does one pleasure one's partner with great oral sex while avoiding triggering a sensitive gag reflex? Any suggestions on technique, positions, etc?

 

[Jayman01]

For those of you who have some serious skills in the fellatio department I was wondering if you could give the rest of us some pointers. How does one pleasure one's partner with great oral sex while avoiding triggering a sensitive gag reflex? Any suggestions on technique, positions, etc?

It disappears with time. Keep practicing. Also extend your tongue. It helps make room in the back of your throat.

 

[Reubenjames]

O K this thread is just what i need.
From the " My story thread " you will know that i have not been with anyone in 30 years.
Now i brought myself a Dildo as i told myself to have some fun with, and we are not talking Casey size here just normal.
And i did the whole thing glass of wine warm bath porn on the tv nice and relaxed, but it would not go in, no matter what i tried.
I have even listened to David coaching the guys on the site relax, deep breaths, push out and all that, still won't go in.
I should also point out that i am mostly a bottom, but i have toped my late partner the odd time.
So
A) what am i doing wrong.
B) how can i fix it,
C) if i can't get a Dildo inside on my own what chance do i stand if i find someone, it would frustrating at the moment of high passion to have to say no sorry it hurts too much you will have to stop for both of us.
Advice please.
Also while on the subject am on a roll now so might as well keep going
I would love to try a but plug.
How do i work out the right size for me, you can't go into the shop and try them, till you find the right one.
More advice please
R J

 

[richardnoggin869]

Relax And Enjoy

O K this thread is just what i need.
From the " My story thread " you will know that i have not been with anyone in 30 years.
Now i brought myself a Dildo as i told myself to have some fun with, and we are not talking Casey size here just normal.
And i did the whole thing glass of wine warm bath porn on the tv nice and relaxed, but it would not go in, no matter what i tried.
I have even listened to David coaching the guys on the site relax, deep breaths, push out and all that, still won't go in.
I should also point out that i am mostly a bottom, but i have toped my late partner the odd time.
So
A) what am i doing wrong.
B) how can i fix it,
C) if i can't get a Dildo inside on my own what chance do i stand if i find someone, it would frustrating at the moment of high passion to have to say no sorry it hurts too much you will have to stop for both of us.
Advice please.
Also while on the subject am on a roll now so might as well keep going
I would love to try a but plug.
How do i work out the right size for me, you can't go into the shop and try them, till you find the right one.
More advice please
R J

Dear RJ,

I would like to say thank you for your story, it was very brave and courageous of you to share. Putting your story to words and actually talking about it with others who share and understand your position, can be very cathartic. It will allow you to take the first small steps to giving you some happiness and peace.

In regard to your question above, you are not the problem. Most people who go to a sex shop and buy toys generally, and I say generally, oversize themselves. That is, if a small toy looks good, then a larger one would feel great. Ain't necessarily so! Start small, no shame in that. Most people who use dildos need time to relax their muscles and to mentally get used to having something in their ass. A lot of lube is the key....use plenty. Start prepping yourself with manual stimulation of your ass. Rub it with your fingers, feel it and penetrate yourself with your little finger first. Rub it around, and get the feel of it. When you feel comfortable, use a larger finger, and perhaps two fingers at a time. Feel where your prostate is and massage that too. The key is relaxation and allowing your ass to open up with manual stimulation and then to try and insert the Dildo Remember, at this point you should not be concerned with size, only comfort....your comfort. Start small and with time, work your way up to a larger size if you wish. BTW, the are many desensitizing lubes on the market today that will help ease the pain of first time toy users. And don't be afraid to be patient, don't rush, take as much time as you need. The same advice goes for a butt plug....start small and work your way to a larger size. Comfort is the key....not pain.

I hope this little piece of advice helps. I don't claim to be a sex expert or anything else, but I am giving you some options to try. I'm sure when your post gets read by others on the Forum, they will be able to offer you many more options and ways of easing yourself back into active gay life. RJ, be safe, be healthy, and most importantly be happy.

 

[Reubenjames]

Richard
hi thanks for the reply.I will try what you have sugested. When i can next go to London i will get a smaller Dildo and a small butt plug and try.
One more question i can never find my prostate, no matter how much i try.
I did use lots of lube and i also put a condom on the Dildo is that the right thing to do?
Thanks.
R J

 

[richardnoggin869]

Slow And Easy

Richard
hi thanks for the reply.I will try what you have sugested. When i can next go to London i will get a smaller Dildo and a small butt plug and try.
One more question i can never find my prostate, no matter how much i try.
I did use lots of lube and i also put a condom on the Dildo is that the right thing to do?
Thanks.
R J

When you're on the internet, google the male anatomy. You should find pictures of the male anatomy there. Check out where your prostate is located via the pictured diagram. When you insert your finger it should be about three inches inside the anus, it will feel like a little shelled walnut. It has a roughish exterior but is soft to the feel. If you massage it it will give you the feeling that you have to pee....and beyond that you will have a good feeling. You can make yourself climax by just massaging your prostate. In gay parlance, they call it forced milking, because the recipient is generally bound and forced to climax without touching his penis. Plenty of lube and a condom on your Dildo will make entry easier and help with any sanitary issues that may arise. Hope this info helps....Richard

 

[Reubenjames]

Hi Richard.
Once again thank you for the info, i will go and google the male anatomy, never thought of doing that.
R J

 

[Reubenjames]

O M G.
Richard thank you so much.
R J

 

[ADK2]

Hi Jayman-
Penis instruction manual- very very funny!
Thanks for the science of the penis.

 

[Jayman01]

Some additional information

Dear RJ,

I would like to say thank you for your story, it was very brave and courageous of you to share. Putting your story to words and actually talking about it with others who share and understand your position, can be very cathartic. It will allow you to take the first small steps to giving you some happiness and peace.

In regard to your question above, you are not the problem. Most people who go to a sex shop and buy toys generally, and I say generally, oversize themselves. That is, if a small toy looks good, then a larger one would feel great. Ain't necessarily so! Start small, no shame in that. Most people who use dildos need time to relax their muscles and to mentally get used to having something in their ass. A lot of lube is the key....use plenty. Start prepping yourself with manual stimulation of your ass. Rub it with your fingers, feel it and penetrate yourself with your little finger first. Rub it around, and get the feel of it. When you feel comfortable, use a larger finger, and perhaps two fingers at a time. Feel where your prostate is and massage that too. The key is relaxation and allowing your ass to open up with manual stimulation and then to try and insert the Dildo Remember, at this point you should not be concerned with size, only comfort....your comfort. Start small and with time, work your way up to a larger size if you wish. BTW, the are many desensitizing lubes on the market today that will help ease the pain of first time toy users. And don't be afraid to be patient, don't rush, take as much time as you need. The same advice goes for a butt plug....start small and work your way to a larger size. Comfort is the key....not pain.

I hope this little piece of advice helps. I don't claim to be a sex expert or anything else, but I am giving you some options to try. I'm sure when your post gets read by others on the Forum, they will be able to offer you many more options and ways of easing yourself back into active gay life. RJ, be safe, be healthy, and most importantly be happy.

Very wise advise. These other websites should add some depth to Richard's fine advice.


http://gaylife.about.com/od/gaysexadvice/qt/gayanalsex.htm

http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=1114912

http://sexuality.about.com/od/analplay/ht/htprostate.htm

 

[Jayman01]

When you're on the internet, google the male anatomy. You should find pictures of the male anatomy there. Check out where your prostate is located via the pictured diagram. When you insert your finger it should be about three inches inside the anus, it will feel like a little shelled walnut. It has a roughish exterior but is soft to the feel. If you massage it it will give you the feeling that you have to pee....and beyond that you will have a good feeling. You can make yourself climax by just massaging your prostate. In gay parlance, they call it forced milking, because the recipient is generally bound and forced to climax without touching his penis. Plenty of lube and a condom on your Dildo will make entry easier and help with any sanitary issues that may arise. Hope this info helps....Richard

Again great advice... Richard, you are awesome...

 

[Jayman01]

Hi Jayman-
Penis instruction manual- very very funny!
Thanks for the science of the penis.

Not a problem...