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Performance anxiety anyone??

underwear fun

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So I thought of raising another taboo subject. I'm not sure if this is just a guy question or can women also get performance anxiety or whether they just call it a 'headache'. Let me know girls?

Anyway, would anyone like to share any performance anxiety experiences?

Never asking a question that I wouldn't answer myself I'll start off.

Well, I was once seeing this guy who said that he was bi. He had this on/off girlfriend (more off than on) and a number of guys along the way. Anyway, we would catch up for drinks, chat, movies and dinner but had nowhere to get together unless we got a hotel room and we didn't want to spend money on that. He was really into me, he thought i was so hot which i first found strange but then saw he meant it in a real honest way. For example: I remember being in a jazz club sitting at a table in a corner and him rubbing the inside of my thigh then up to my junk. I let him do this in a crowded resturant cause he wanted me so badly. But of cause it started getting a bit too hot and heavy and someone noticed, although I don't think they understood exactly what we were doing (there was a hanging table cloth), I slammed my legs shut and told him to cool it. He gave me these damn puppy dog eyes that still brings a smile to my face.

So finally his room mate goes back to his parents for a weekend and we can get together after seeing each other for about a month. To cut a long story short (sorry mikeyank) for some reason that Friday night I could only achieve a little better than a semi. He was concerned and asked if everything was alright. I made some excuse and said that i really wanted him to get off. So as is often the case with gays, there is usually at least one stiff cock in the room, so we played together with his. Being more of a morning person, I was able to prod him awake (we slept like spoons) and I put things to rights saturday morning. haha.

Undie (alls well that ends well)
 
Damn It Mikeyank

Damn, I just got back to my computer with a box of tissues, when I read this last quote. You are a "prick tease", Mr. Undie.

Dear Mikeyank or is it Mikewank, :001_rolleyes:

I assume that the snow has reached NYC by now and you might have been blinded by the white, or by now brown snow. But, if my memory serves me well, didn't undie and I receive similar epitaphs from you in another thread a few weeks ago? I was just about to write my "performance anxiety" experience when I saw once again the dreaded "prick tease" claim fired from your fruitful loins, yet again.:cursing: As this year ends, please keep both of your hands on the keyboard and away from your favorite play thing. I feel just the words "prick tease" has an intended performance anxiety effect, if not directly in the bedroom, than at least in the painful soul searching that must be elicited to prepare such a posting for the forum as Undie's.

All I am saying is keep your pants on and your prick to the grindstone?:lol: Or is it... your nose to the grindstone? Who cares? Anyway, I am sure you get my drift, as in brown snow drift, New York style!:anal_smiley:


Sincerely,


Stimpy
 
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Prick Tease

Damn, I just got back to my computer with a box of tissues :tongue_smilie:, when I read this last quote. You are a "prick tease", Mr. Undie. :wink:

Well thank you for the compliment Mr Mikeyank. :001_tt2: I'm sure you will find release. haha

Undie (now Levi Johnson pic is a cock tease)
 

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Not sure if this classifies itself as true "performance anxiety" but occasionally, right before foreplay, when the kissing and petting starts, I get a bad case of the shivers. My teeth rattle, my knees knock and I feel cold all over. Its as if I have been thrown into a lake in the middle of winter. The most notable case I will share...

I had just gotten done playing a dart match at my local bar that pushed my team into state finals. Needless to say we partied hard, or at least they did. I was too busy chatting up the cute blond I had just beaten in 301. Truth be told, he had been checking me out all night. So instead of drinking the night away we walked the three or so blocks to the waterfront to get to know each other better. It was about 75 degrees as we sat in the sand, softly kissing each other. My focus was on how great his lips tasted and how soft his skin was. It wasn't until he placed his hand on my lower back to pull me in closer that I started to shake. Not violently, but enough to know what was coming. He, apparently, had yet to notice and started to explore my groin with his hand. Now not being one for PDA I suggested we went back to my place, about a block away. As we walked and talked the shiver passed and I was excited about it. Fast forward to sitting on the couch, our shirts off and deep into a passionate make out session. He was an incredible kisser and his thin lips on mine drove me into a realm of horny I had rarely encountered. He climbed on my lap and began to rock his hips back and forth. The hornier he got, the softer and more gentle his kiss became, and this drove me insane. Then the shiver ran down my spine. It was so violent he stopped and asked if I was all right. I tried to not pay attention and focus oh his beautiful body, but as he kissed me again my teeth began to rattle and chatter. He asked why I was cold. Well that kind of killed the mood, well that and my sudden limp dick. There was an awkward moment but, God love him, he got up and got me a blanket. A sweetheart...:blush:

So, that's my little anxiety...oh, the story does have a happy ending...:001_smile::tongue_smilie::wink:
 
Not sure if this classifies itself as true "performance anxiety" but occasionally, right before foreplay, when the kissing and petting starts, I get a bad case of the shivers. My teeth rattle, my knees knock and I feel cold all over. Its as if I have been thrown into a lake in the middle of winter. The most notable case I will share...

Hmmmm... I've actually had that happen fairly often. Usually when it's been a long time since we've been intimate and the interlude is planned. After I've undressed and gotten in bed I'll start shivering and chattering. Usually a nice long cuddle helps, and then it feels more natural to start the sexy time. That's hard to do with someone you just met, but it sounds like this guy, at least, took the time to help you get comfortable.
 
one girl's story...

I'll chime in here, and I promise not to be too graphic, guys :001_tongue:

I do have some performance anxiety problems on occasion. Sometimes when he puts a lot of effort into foreplay, particularly oral, I just can't orgasm. I think it's too much pressure! I get close time and time and time again, and just can't go over. And of course, that's when he gets determined, and that makes it worse because I start feeling bad that he's having to work so hard. Definitely an orgasm buster.... :crying:
 
Well thank you for the compliment Mr Mikeyank. :001_tt2: I'm sure you will find release. haha

Undie (now Levi Johnson pic is a cock tease)

Undie Fun, That picture give me some serious mixed feelings starting with ouch!!! However, that would be an impressive piece of meat.:confused1:
 
Stripping

Hey Jayman,

I was talking with a stripper friend of mine (he does it for extra money for college) who said that perhaps every couple of months he gets a sort of stage fright where he momentarily blanks and doesn't know why he is on stage. It apparently passes quickly and he goes on with his routine and he doesn't think anyone notices. Have you seen or experienced anything like this?

Undie
 
Hey Jayman,

I was talking with a stripper friend of mine (he does it for extra money for college) who said that perhaps every couple of months he gets a sort of stage fright where he momentarily blanks and doesn't know why he is on stage. It apparently passes quickly and he goes on with his routine and he doesn't think anyone notices. Have you seen or experienced anything like this?

Undie

Yes, Undie Fun. I did in the past. It comes with the job. That is when I would drink a Long Island Ice tea. I don't usually drink at all but it helped calm my nerves and make me a little less rigid. Also, some places had crappy sound systems and the crowd was so loud I couldn't hear my music to get into the groove. So, I was kind of glad my cousin had worked as a choreographer at Disney. At least I had a bit of a routine to work from. LOL Then there were the places where the only stage we had was a bout a 4X4 box in the center of the room. So, we had to improvise quite a bit. Also, I kind of like my personal space. So, in those environments I used to get more nauseous of all of the hands touching me in all directions. It made it hard to think or concentrate and I felt like I was just chum bait for the sharks. I could not wait to leave and get into a shower.

I think that is why I can have a little more compassion for our straight boys on the futon. First off they are fairly heterosexual and they are engaging in gay sex on camera for the world to see. Their experiences may be short lived and they get paid so little compared to what their appearance on the site could mean for them in the future. They have no clue how many family or friends will ever see them or recognize them and their faces will be plastered all over the internet for years to come. Compile that with the fact that they have on make up and they are performing under hot lights with a camera man and maybe a few stage hands present in the room. This pressure can really interfere with those intimate moments. Then we bitch when they don't stay hard or perform well and complain because they talk too much. I think the conversation is necessary for them to socialize and get into the moment with their partner that they may have absolutely no chemistry for. It at least helps to relieve their anxiety to some degree. Perhaps Tina Turner said it best, "You keep your mind on the money” which is really all we have to say to these guys. I have also talked with several guys in D&A rehab and AIDS service organizations that have turned tricks or had sex with guys for money. They were not proud of what they had done and most describe their experiences as being horrible and disgusting. So, we are saying to these broke straight guys: come have gay sex for the first time in your life, do it publicly in an uncomfortable room with someone that you hardly know or have any real feelings for, get hard, stay hard, suck the dick good, kiss compassionately, take a cum shot to your face, and take it up the ass like a champ and we will give you a few thousand dollars for your trouble. If you do a good job, you get to come back and do it a gain. LOL Don't get me wrong I love the Broke Straight Boys format but sometimes I think we expect way too much out of these models. I hope you can see my point. So, I think that these guys coming here have to have an open mind to gay sex or at least a curiosity to even begin to do what they do do for us on that futon. In that respect them greatly for their efforts. I have always felt for guys like Ashton who really have given it their best effort in light of not being gay. As I said above whether people are doing porn or people are working as a stripper in the adult entertainment industry it is the nature of the job and performance is expected.

Undie Fun, I realize that is more than you asked of me but it felt like a good moment to say this stuff. I think regardless of our sexual orientation we need to see people as people first and foremost and not as servants of misfortune or a commodity to be bought, sold, and traded. We see the same thing in business and industry where people are treated as less than human to make the all mighty dollar. I know it is the way of the world and there is very little sympathy for those at the bottom. I guess I just wish we could see each person in the world as something more than a way to make a profit first.
 
Spoken from Jayman's heart!

Yes, Undie Fun. I did in the past. It comes with the job. That is when I would drink a Long Island Ice tea. I don't usually drink at all but it helped calm my nerves and make me a little less rigid. Also, some places had crappy sound systems and the crowd was so loud I couldn't hear my music to get into the groove. So, I was kind of glad my cousin had worked as a choreographer at Disney. At least I had a bit of a routine to work from. LOL Then there were the places where the only stage we had was a bout a 4X4 box in the center of the room. So, we had to improvise quite a bit. Also, I kind of like my personal space. So, in those environments I used to get more nauseous of all of the hands touching me in all directions. It made it hard to think or concentrate and I felt like I was just chum bait for the sharks. I could not wait to leave and get into a shower.

I think that is why I can have a little more compassion for our straight boys on the futon. First off they are fairly heterosexual and they are engaging in gay sex on camera for the world to see. Their experiences may be short lived and they get paid so little compared to what their appearance on the site could mean for them in the future. They have no clue how many family or friends will ever see them or recognize them and their faces will be plastered all over the internet for years to come. Compile that with the fact that they have on make up and they are performing under hot lights with a camera man and maybe a few stage hands present in the room. This pressure can really interfere with those intimate moments. Then we bitch when they don't stay hard or perform well and complain because they talk too much. I think the conversation is necessary for them to socialize and get into the moment with their partner that they may have absolutely no chemistry for. It at least helps to relieve their anxiety to some degree. Perhaps Tina Turner said it best, "You keep your mind on the money” which is really all we have to say to these guys. I have also talked with several guys in D&A rehab and AIDS service organizations that have turned tricks or had sex with guys for money. They were not proud of what they had done and most describe their experiences as being horrible and disgusting. So, we are saying to these broke straight guys: come have gay sex for the first time in your life, do it publicly in an uncomfortable room with someone that you hardly know or have any real feelings for, get hard, stay hard, suck the dick good, kiss compassionately, take a cum shot to your face, and take it up the ass like a champ and we will give you a few thousand dollars for your trouble. If you do a good job, you get to come back and do it a gain. LOL Don't get me wrong I love the Broke Straight Boys format but sometimes I think we expect way too much out of these models. I hope you can see my point. So, I think that these guys coming here have to have an open mind to gay sex or at least a curiosity to even begin to do what they do do for us on that futon. In that respect them greatly for their efforts. I have always felt for guys like Ashton who really have given it their best effort in light of not being gay. As I said above whether people are doing porn or people are working as a stripper in the adult entertainment industry it is the nature of the job and performance is expected.

Undie Fun, I realize that is more than you asked of me but it felt like a good moment to say this stuff. I think regardless of our sexual orientation we need to see people as people first and foremost and not as servants of misfortune or a commodity to be bought, sold, and traded. We see the same thing in business and industry where people are treated as less than human to make the all mighty dollar. I know it is the way of the world and there is very little sympathy for those at the bottom. I guess I just wish we could see each person in the world as something more than a way to make a profit first.

Dear Jayman01,

No one could have expressed this sentiment more compassionately or better than you just did. My complements to you for your honesty in the light that many forumites do not care to hear this message. They only think the boys are adults and they signed a contract and gotten paid. Done deal!!!

They appear to have forgotten totally the human element to this situation the boys have consented to engage in these sex acts. Curiosity in itself and exploring one's limits are one thing and, like in similar instances shared with his buddies by Phillionaire, he and his friend's exploration was done in privacy and away from the cameras. They had a history before the exploration establishing mutual trust.

Although it goes without saying that anyone appearing on the Broke Straight Boys futon is getting compensated, I wished the discussion of the money aspect would go away for good with the new Broke Straight Boys I realize that this appeals to many of the current members. But, I don't see this being so openly presented in the episodes on other sites.

Beyond the money, this is why I have objected repeatedly over "unnecessarily rough" sex for "newbies" only to receive the retort that they were adults and they knew what they were getting into. That falls on deaf ears with me.

Jayman, thank you so much for stating your "humane concerns" so eloquently here for all to read. What you stated is "real" and something all members need to take to heart when they take models for granted and look at them merely as "objects"! Remember first, they are flesh and blood and they are trading their personal dignity and their natural sexual inclinations for a bit of cash that will soon be spent long before they have dealt with the sexual ramifications. Just like Ashton, he is locked in a cycle of monetary dependance on performing and admittedly is primarily straight. Criticizing his inability to remain hard in something that is not sexually appealing to him is expecting too much. I too can stand for some improvement and a lot more compassion in my past attitude and criticisms of certain models.



Sincerely,


Stimpy
 
Well said, both Jayman and Cumrag. I don't get drawn into the kvetching about performance, attitude and behavior because that to me is not fair to the individuals who are paraded on stage for the amusement/enjoyment of the members. I can't imagine being oblivious to a camera and hot bright lights, and can understand some anxiety or discomfort at being exposed in a scene that is potentially available to anyone. I don't expect every episode to be my 'cup of tea' because there are certain looks, personalities, and activities that don't interest me. There are diverse interests in this large membership, and I give credit to David and Mark for providing a product that can appeal to a majority of the clientele (or they wouldn't stick around as members for long...). As has been said numerous times by various posters--'it's all fantasy.' And I find myself enjoying the dialogue in the forum more than the videos as a rule...
 
Well said, both Jayman and Cumrag. I don't get drawn into the kvetching about performance, attitude and behavior because that to me is not fair to the individuals who are paraded on stage for the amusement/enjoyment of the members. I can't imagine being oblivious to a camera and hot bright lights, and can understand some anxiety or discomfort at being exposed in a scene that is potentially available to anyone. I don't expect every episode to be my 'cup of tea' because there are certain looks, personalities, and activities that don't interest me. There are diverse interests in this large membership, and I give credit to David and Mark for providing a product that can appeal to a majority of the clientele (or they wouldn't stick around as members for long...). As has been said numerous times by various posters--'it's all fantasy.' And I find myself enjoying the dialogue in the forum more than the videos as a rule...

I agree Kaalaaupuni. I enjoy the dialogue and banter that takes place in the Forum much more than the videos for the most part too.
 
Right on Jay, I agree that we should see people as human beings and not as commodities. It's like seeing people as you will like them to see you so to speak. I find myself questioning whether it's ethical to pay to see straight men to do gay sex because they feel that circumstances forced them to. It's hell having a conscience!
 
Right on Jay, I agree that we should see people as human beings and not as commodities. It's like seeing people as you will like them to see you so to speak. I find myself questioning whether it's ethical to pay to see straight men to do gay sex because they feel that circumstances forced them to. It's hell having a conscience!

Angelone, you are so right. The conscience thing can be a real burden. I have had similar feelings at times. I don't think there is anything wrong with anyone trying to make an honest living. I did nude modeling at two area universities when I was younger too. They paid $100.00 per hour. So, there are ways that you can make a living but each person's comfort level seems to be a little different.

As far as these straight guys go I think Broke Straight Boys has done a pretty good job with their recruitment. David has said in previous threads that many of these guys have a little curiosity and are willing to be open minded. All of the scenes and scenarios are discussed at length prior to shooting the scenes. So, I really do believe that the majority of these guys are pretty aware of what they are doing and what is expected of them to some degree. I just don't think anyone can anticipate performance anxiety or gag reflex experiences until you are in the middle of a shoot. Also, you never know when some one will fart, their feet are going to have such odor that they could gag a maggot, their cock has a weird taste, or some one has a strange reaction to something you are doing. Now add in the lights, make up, stage hands, camera man, and lack of natural attraction. I think that we have been fortunate to get the great scenes that we have had.

I had the opportunity to talk to Derek at length one night when they toured my city. He really was not into gay sex but he was willing to explore some things. Surprisingly, to me he discussed it with his father and his dad encouraged him to give it a try. Derek said he had no regrets but he would not be too inclined to do it again unless he was paid. So, I think with knowledge I can relax my conscience a little bit. I just like to watch the scenes for what they are straight guys exploring gay sex for their first time in a public setting. I just try not to be so critical of guys who are really trying to do their best under the circumstances. :wink:

Personally, I just know that I have no regrets and I am glad that I have had the experiences that I have had in my life. :thumbup1:
 
Well said

Angelone, you are so right. The conscience thing can be a real burden. I have had similar feelings at times. I don't think there is anything wrong with anyone trying to make an honest living. I did nude modeling at two area universities when I was younger too. They paid $100.00 per hour. So, there are ways that you can make a living but each person's comfort level seems to be a little different.

As far as these straight guys go I think Broke Straight Boys has done a pretty good job with their recruitment. David has said in previous threads that many of these guys have a little curiosity and are willing to be open minded. All of the scenes and scenarios are discussed at length prior to shooting the scenes. So, I really do believe that the majority of these guys are pretty aware of what they are doing and what is expected of them to some degree. I just don't think anyone can anticipate performance anxiety or gag reflex experiences until you are in the middle of a shoot. Also, you never know when some one will fart, their feet are going to have such odor that they could gag a maggot, their cock has a weird taste, or some one has a strange reaction to something you are doing. Now add in the lights, make up, stage hands, camera man, and lack of natural attraction. I think that we have been fortunate to get the great scenes that we have had.

I had the opportunity to talk to Derek at length one night when they toured my city. He really was not into gay sex but he was willing to explore some things. Surprisingly, to me he discussed it with his father and his dad encouraged him to give it a try. Derek said he had no regrets but he would not be too inclined to do it again unless he was paid. So, I think with knowledge I can relax my conscience a little bit. I just like to watch the scenes for what they are straight guys exploring gay sex for their first time in a public setting. I just try not to be so critical of guys who are really trying to do their best under the circumstances. :wink:

Personally, I just know that I have no regrets and I am glad that I have had the experiences that I have had in my life. :thumbup1:

Dearest Jaymon,

Ditto and especially "I just know that I have no regrets and I am glad that I have had the experiences that I have had in my life.
:thumbup1:


Hopefully, we all can say this,



Cumrag27, aka Stimpy
 
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