I hope that you read my review of "The Making of Matt" earlier this morning. It definitely got a five "boners" rating from me.
The police had to go hunting for it and, once found, bring it in to the hospital for "blessed reunification".
The truth of the matter is that I wrote "five boners" and then realized that we can only post four images, and I didn't think that anyone would notice, but I forgot that Eagle Eye Stimpy was pn the case. You caught me one dancing penis short. Ouch.Dear Mikeyank,
Shhhhh! I am talking to you in these hushed tones because I believe you have been the victim of a robbery and you don't even know it yet! This might be unsettling to you to hear the truth of the situation, but you see, someone has stolen one of your five boners without you even realizing it yet! I promise not to tell anyone at this time. Maybe at some research institute, they can clone you another boner to give you a full set eventually.
Be patient for now. It will take some time to actually wind up with something fully functional and nearly matching your remaining four. We always recommend our past patients get a LoJack Dick Tracking Recovery System installed for a nominal fee and lower insurance premiums. Just realize you won't pass through any airport security systems once fitted. Once installed, be sure to get the serial number so it will be easier for the police to track one or more down. Hopefully, some stray dog has not found the missing link(s) and already helped himself to it/them as if it was just one more beef frankfurter without the bun. Dogs do terrible things to dangling participles. Just ask John Wayne Bobbitt after his wife used a carving knife on him lopping off half of his penis and throwing it away in a nearby field.
My mother always taught me not to count your "dancingpenises" before they hatched or "put them all in just one basket". WORDS TO LIVE BY!
Sincerely,
Stimpy
