Locker Room Etiquette

[underwear fun]

I hate this time of year at the gym. It’s a New Year and everyone hits the gym. Most of em will be gone by the end of the month. In the meantime here’s some rules for newbies:

1. Don’t leave your shit all over the place when you strip down and go to the showers.
2. I know some of you guys like to piss in the showers. Just don’t do it on other guys feet.
3. It’s okay to glace around in the showers. We all do. Yes, even straight guys (see more below). Just don’t gawk. Not cool.
4. If you’re one of those guys that has a donkey dick and like showing it off, do it within reason. We know you’re proud but have a little consideration for the rest of us.
5. If you’re all self conscious of your meat that’s cool. But don’t go to freakin crazy lengths to conceal it. It’s a locker room for christsake. And I don’t really give a shit about how big you are anyways.
6. Don’t spend a shitload of time washing your ass crack in the showers at the gym. No further explanation should be required on this one.

Ok so here’s the low down on looking in the locker room. I can tell you for a fact straight guys look. I've seen it and I talked about this with some of my friends. We all glance. Glancing is cool as long as you’re stealth. Gawking is definitely not cool. I don’t mind being glanced at. Kinda take it as a compliment. But I get uncomfortable if someone is looking or gawking at it. That’s not the place. So when you hear a straight guy tell you he doesn’t peek in the showers, he’s full of shit.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone get a full hard on in the showers. I’ve seen dudes with a chubby but that’s it and I think that’s kinda normal (your washing your junk its gonna plump up a bit). But I’m pretty sure a straight guy would bolt the showers if you started stroking it. Also, it not the done thing to hand wash another dude's body, even if he is damn hot. If you must, its best to do this in the privacy of your own home.

Undie (a community service annoucement)

 

[Jayman01]

Thank you Undie Fun. I just got back from the gym. I should send a copy of these rules to the Planet Fitness staff to be posted. They are definitely words to live by in the locker room.

Might I add don't walk bare foot all over the locker room and then put your stinky smelly germ ridden feet on the bench tops or on other peoples clothing and clean towels...

Take your sweaty smelly clothing home and wash it don't store it in your locker to grow mold and infest your neighbors lockers either.


Again, Undie thank you for helping get the locker room under control. Love the graphic illistrations too...

The funniest thing about the gym this time of year is the fights in the parking lot over the parking spots closest to the gym's main doors. I never understood why people go to the gym to get a good work out and then they are afraid to walk a 25-50 yards or so to the door. The walk after a good work out actually helps to work out some of the lactic acid you just built up and it burns a few extra calories. Just some food for thought there...

 

[cumrag27]

It is what it is!

I hate this time of year at the gym. It’s a New Year and everyone hits the gym. Most of em will be gone by the end of the month. In the meantime here’s some rules for newbies:

1. Don’t leave your shit all over the place when you strip down and go to the showers.
2. I know some of you guys like to piss in the showers. Just don’t do it on other guys feet.
3. It’s okay to glace around in the showers. We all do. Yes, even straight guys (see more below). Just don’t gawk. Not cool.
4. If you’re one of those guys that has a donkey dick and like showing it off, do it within reason. We know you’re proud but have a little consideration for the rest of us.
5. If you’re all self conscious of your meat that’s cool. But don’t go to freakin crazy lengths to conceal it. It’s a locker room for christsake. And I don’t really give a shit about how big you are anyways.
6. Don’t spend a shitload of time washing your ass crack in the showers at the gym. No further explanation should be required on this one.

Ok so here’s the low down on looking in the locker room. I can tell you for a fact straight guys look. I've seen it and I talked about this with some of my friends. We all glance. Glancing is cool as long as you’re stealth. Gawking is definitely not cool. I don’t mind being glanced at. Kinda take it as a compliment. But I get uncomfortable if someone is looking or gawking at it. That’s not the place. So when you hear a straight guy tell you he doesn’t peek in the showers, he’s full of shit.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone get a full hard on in the showers. I’ve seen dudes with a chubby but that’s it and I think that’s kinda normal (your washing your junk its gonna plump up a bit). But I’m pretty sure a straight guy would bolt the showers if you started stroking it. Also, it not the done thing to hand wash another dude's body, even if he is damn hot. If you must, its best to do this in the privacy of your own home.

Undie (a community service annoucement)

Dearest Undie,

I appreciate your willingness and your need for social responsibility to provide this Community Service Announcement. I completely agree and adhere to all 6 of Undie's Rules, most of the time(see note below). Hopefully, you will post it to the walls in your local area shower room. But, the problem with that is, you assume people can read along with their gawking. Being a hunk myself, of a totally different configuration than you no doubt, I have not had to feel any guilt about causing excessive eye strain from the fellows in the shower room. Mostly the only complaints I receive is to "Cover up"! Perhaps this is based on your own personal unpleasant experiences and not solely on objective statistical facts.

I think everybody needs to take a breath and relax. Yes, as you stated, all guys check each other out and, Yes, some people operate on a more discrete basis while doing so, but it is what it is and as long as there are horndogs walking around the locker room with excessive testosterone regardless of their sexual proclivities, there will always be exhibitionists and their will always be the opposite, the paranoid/homophobic guy that can't bare for anyone to come within 100 feet of their bare ass. This latter guys need to first get some overdue therapy before considering frequenting a place where they will have to bare all.

There is plenty enough to go around if guys would simply take a deep breath and exhale 10X while saying to themselves "It is what it is and after leaving these close quarters it no longer is"! Kind of reminds you of President Clinton's famous misstatement about sex, now doesn't it. Also, whenever rules are written, it is absolutely guaranteed that they will be broken, often (not meaning you Undie) by the very same people that wrote the rules in the first place!



Please Note: The following picture below is my exception to Rule 5 because I declare immunity on religious grounds, or on any grounds where he might be baring all to see!

 

[Markymark]

Dear Undie:
We were surprised to note that you failed to mention the use of phones, while in the locker room. If you feel the need to take a call, please exit the dressing/shower areas, as many people do NOT wish to have their photo sent to the internet sans clothing, and this is the first thing they think you are doing when they see you open the phone. However, by cutting a small hole in the side of your gym bag, photos of those hunky denizens can then be taken without fear of startling the beasts, or causing them to bolt.

 

[Jayman01]

Dear Undie:
We were surprised to note that you failed to mention the use of phones, while in the locker room. If you feel the need to take a call, please exit the dressing/shower areas, as many people do NOT wish to have their photo sent to the internet sans clothing, and this is the first thing they think you are doing when they see you open the phone. However, by cutting a small hole in the side of your gym bag, photos of those hunky denizens can then be taken without fear of startling the beasts, or causing them to bolt.

Your highness I can see you have learned meany tricks from those pesky Paparazzi. Great tip...

 

[underwear fun]

Cell Phones in Locker Rooms

Dear Undie:
We were surprised to note that you failed to mention the use of phones, while in the locker room. If you feel the need to take a call, please exit the dressing/shower areas, as many people do NOT wish to have their photo sent to the internet sans clothing, and this is the first thing they think you are doing when they see you open the phone. However, by cutting a small hole in the side of your gym bag, photos of those hunky denizens can then be taken without fear of startling the beasts, or causing them to bolt.

Well said Mark,

However, in my gym the locker room is in the basement and cell phones don't work so pretending to check messages or even chat on the phone while taking photos or videos is a 'faux pas' of the first order. And in the gym there is always a guy bigger than you, who may be unphotogenic and that may beat on you!

Undie (btw this is not my phone!)

 

[Jayman01]

Well said Mark,

However, in my gym the locker room is in the basement and cell phones don't work so pretending to check messages or even chat on the phone while taking photos or videos is a 'faux pas' of the first order. And in the gym there is always a guy bigger than you, who may be unphotogenic and that may beat on you!

Undie (btw this is not my phone!)

One could only hope they are proud of their manhood and secretly pose for you rather than beat on you. Anyway, good luck stealthing a good camera angle. Might be fun to set up a hidden video in a locker. LOL Just kidding. Although I am sure it has been done out there somewhere.

 

[Phillionaire]

I am a Member at "Gold's Gym" and they have separate showers with separate curtains! So there goes my fun.. but for real.. I would probably be the guy with the full on boner muahaha!! I get hard soo easily!

 

[gaymusic01]

Undie,

You have given very good advise. These suggestions hopefully will be followed by others.

 

[underwear fun]

Shower show offs!

So you guys love gym showers? So we talked about looking around in the showers, and seeing guys look at us. But we never really talked about showing off. I think there’s 2 kinds of show offs – one are the guys who walk around the locker room naked. My take on this is these are the hung guys (or at least guys who think they are hung) wanting to make everyone jealous. I don’t do that. I don’t got the meat to back it up, at least after a work out. I walk around naked but I don’t like strike up conversation and strut around. You guys know what I’m talking about right? But the other kind of showing off is less obvious but cooler. And I admit I do this. It’s showing off in the showers themselves while soaping up. Taking a little longer than you need to to soap up the meat. Bending over to give someone a look at your ass. Who the fuck knows if they’re looking but its kinda hot to do. I NEVER work myself into a boner in the shower. But love to show off with a soapy hand.

Undie

 

[cumrag27]

Community Service Announcement #2

So you guys love gym showers? So we talked about looking around in the showers, and seeing guys look at us. But we never really talked about showing off. I think there’s 2 kinds of show offs – one are the guys who walk around the locker room naked. My take on this is these are the hung guys (or at least guys who think they are hung) wanting to make everyone jealous. I don’t do that. I don’t got the meat to back it up, at least after a work out. I walk around naked but I don’t like strike up conversation and strut around. You guys know what I’m talking about right? But the other kind of showing off is less obvious but cooler. And I admit I do this. It’s showing off in the showers themselves while soaping up. Taking a little longer than you need to to soap up the meat. Bending over to give someone a look at your ass. Who the fuck knows if they’re looking but its kinda hot to do. I NEVER work myself into a boner in the shower. But love to show off with a soapy hand.

Undie

Dear Undie,

All I can say is that this is a gorgeous photo and should be welcomed whereever it shows up! You indeed have a nack for presenting the best photos for the benefit of the masses. You talked earlier about a community service announcement, well if this is one, then I am not Stimpy!

Thanks for the etiquette refresher!


Stimpy

 

[joninliverton]

Jeez this thread has got me so interested in the gym that I may have to start my membership again. I'm what you call naturally slim and apart from about 3 weekly jogs and the odd shag, I don't do much exercise. Oops forgot to mention walking our dogs too.

I have a friend at work who was about 2 stone overweight then hired a personal trainer at the local Green's Gym and after about 6 months has lost all his excess weight. Spoke to Liam my friend last week and he told me about an encounter last week where he was having his gym lesson with his PT and they were the last ones in there showering. He said they jerked each other off and now plan a fuck session at the PT's house this week - lucky dude.

Gym membership doesn't come cheap but if it involves such extras then I will join Green's pretty soon.

 

[underwear fun]

Phil at the gym!

I am a Member at "Gold's Gym" and they have separate showers with separate curtains! So there goes my fun.. but for real.. I would probably be the guy with the full on boner muahaha!! I get hard soo easily!

Hey Phil, 'real' men don't need to close the shower curtain. haha

and 'I get hard soo easily!', why doesn't that surprise me. lol

Undie

 

[atawab99]

I hate public showers. I am one of those guys who just has to see a few dicks and I am as hard as rock. Better to stay out of the showers and go home.

 

[underwear fun]

Gym Showers

I hate public showers. I am one of those guys who just has to see a few dicks and I am as hard as rock. Better to stay out of the showers and go home.

Hey atawab,

I should firstly say, welcome to the forum. Great first post. Straight to the point and very funny. It's perhaps a guy's first living nightmare!

Let me spark a bit more interest here. lol

So the dilemma is if you go to gym with friends you can't keep showering at home. It will be noticed. You are expected to shower together. It's a male bonding thing.

So what to do??? Is it the sight of having all these hot toned male bodies around you that gets you up? You could just face the wall think of an old lady and shower quickly? Or does your gym have those 'column showers' where there is just no hiding? haha. Perhaps then you could concentrate on the inevitable humilation of team members who get a spanking for getting an erection in public. But if that turns you on, and if there is nothing else for it, walk in and share a shower with a hot mate that's got a chubby and get him all hard too so at least your not alone!

Undie

 

[lesit78]

I hate this time of year at the gym. It’s a New Year and everyone hits the gym. Most of em will be gone by the end of the month. In the meantime here’s some rules for newbies:

1. Don’t leave your shit all over the place when you strip down and go to the showers.
2. I know some of you guys like to piss in the showers. Just don’t do it on other guys feet.
3. It’s okay to glace around in the showers. We all do. Yes, even straight guys (see more below). Just don’t gawk. Not cool.
4. If you’re one of those guys that has a donkey dick and like showing it off, do it within reason. We know you’re proud but have a little consideration for the rest of us.
5. If you’re all self conscious of your meat that’s cool. But don’t go to freakin crazy lengths to conceal it. It’s a locker room for christsake. And I don’t really give a shit about how big you are anyways.
6. Don’t spend a shitload of time washing your ass crack in the showers at the gym. No further explanation should be required on this one.

Ok so here’s the low down on looking in the locker room. I can tell you for a fact straight guys look. I've seen it and I talked about this with some of my friends. We all glance. Glancing is cool as long as you’re stealth. Gawking is definitely not cool. I don’t mind being glanced at. Kinda take it as a compliment. But I get uncomfortable if someone is looking or gawking at it. That’s not the place. So when you hear a straight guy tell you he doesn’t peek in the showers, he’s full of shit.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone get a full hard on in the showers. I’ve seen dudes with a chubby but that’s it and I think that’s kinda normal (your washing your junk its gonna plump up a bit). But I’m pretty sure a straight guy would bolt the showers if you started stroking it. Also, it not the done thing to hand wash another dude's body, even if he is damn hot. If you must, its best to do this in the privacy of your own home.

Undie (a community service annoucement)

I've actually seen full boners in the locker room numerous times, always by straight guys too. Admittedly this was mostly in high school and a couple times in college, but still lol.

Abe

 

[Jayman01]

Hey atawab,

I should firstly say, welcome to the forum. Great first post. Straight to the point and very funny. It's perhaps a guy's first living nightmare!

Let me spark a bit more interest here. lol

So the dilemma is if you go to gym with friends you can't keep showering at home. It will be noticed. You are expected to shower together. It's a male bonding thing.

So what to do??? Is it the sight of having all these hot toned male bodies around you that gets you up? You could just face the wall think of an old lady and shower quickly? Or does your gym have those 'column showers' where there is just no hiding? haha. Perhaps then you could concentrate on the inevitable humilation of team members who get a spanking for getting an erection in public. But if that turns you on, and if there is nothing else for it, walk in and share a shower with a hot mate that's got a chubby and get him all hard too so at least your not alone!

Undie

I love your illistrations behind your thoughts. It really helps those of us who hate to read...

Like Abe I have seen my fair share of boners in the locker room too. I was told that sometimes it comes from working out. I just wondered what muscel they worked to get do that.

 

[cumrag27]

The answer is just below your nose

I love your illistrations behind your thoughts. It really helps those of us who hate to read...

Like Abe I have seen my fair share of boners in the locker room too. I was told that sometimes it comes from working out. I just wondered what muscel they worked to get do that.

Dearest Jayman,

Perhaps all of that reading has created a slight vision problem for you related to the "hairy palms syndrome". In answer to your query above, certainly after doning on their new reading glasses any student of anatomy would have to reply, the "love muscle", of course!

Seeing perfectly now!


Sincerely,


Stimpy