Dear SGVBOB,
Since we are now on a first name basis, Bob (assumption on my part) don't you think my given name "Cum" is a great and highly regarded namesake? Afterall, according to legendary Johnny Cash (also from Arkansas), I could have been called the booy named..."Sue" even though my giggly parts don't match up with what one's unual expectations have prepared most people for.
Also, just for the record, don't think being on a first name basis now gives you the go-ahead to start calling me Sue, either. It simply makes my skin crawl upon hearing the "S name" and my balls vanish until they start glowing "Blue" and drop to their lowest point, just below my knees and are in considerable "pain". My balls were so blue one day, in fact, that it begs the question "HOW BLUE WERE THEY"? Well, let me tell you. They once prompted Johnny Cash to write a heart-wrenching song eternally dedicating them in our collective memory. While on a singing tour in some prision in California, Johnny even made reference to them specifically by dedicating this song, namely the "Folsom Prison Blues". Upon hearing of this song, my entire family rose up in complete and utter outrage and were greatly hurt until we started receiving then monthly royalty check. Just for the record, they may have sunk to all time lows, but they never, and I repeat they never were assigned a prison uniform or offered up to some sex offending con while being held as collateral for some upoaid gambling debts, nor were they ever assigned to some "chaingang" in the Southern cotton fields of old.
It's because of this painful reality that, when I get an occasional offer from some unknowing person asking to lick my balls, I have to reserve an entire hotel/motel room set on a "daily rate" rather than the usual bunk on the "quarter-hour basis" -- as the costs would simply be prohibitive. And furthermore, local management doesn't much appreciate having their lobby filling up and spilling out onto the sidewalk for several blocks in those quarter-hour places because it draws unwanted patrol cars.
That I can still proudly profess this 3-letter word is my favorite protein supplement and it goes down significantly better than some dietary protein bars on the market today. Even better yet, IT IS TOTALLY FREE and typically doesn't melt when placed in your pocket! This is especially appreciated when served just fresh and, occasionally appearing in either "chuncky (Southern style) or stringy (Italian-style)"styles. Either way have no regrets, you will want to eat all of it with a spoon so nothing goes to waste and you don't poke your upper or lower lip or loose a tooth with them toothy forks.
Well, I will never denegrate your opinion either, that is if I can even tell what your opinion really is! After all, everyone, even you, is a potential fancier of my "Folsom Prison Blues". As a cautionary warning, just remember nothing lasts forever except them perennial favorites, my "Folsom Prison Blues".
, it's a GREAT name!) LOL 
