Johnny, it is not too personal if you want to share it with us, your forum family. Forumites come in all ages, but I'm pretty sure most of us are closer to your age than to Jon or lpdude, or to Rudy's age, so many of us can relate to what your saying.
If we are alive and reasonably healthy and can enjoy a new day and a new
Broke Straight Boys update featuring hopefully our favorite models, (like Ayden tonight), then life is still a good thing with things to enjoy and look forward to. And as long as we keep living, we never know when something wonderful and unexpected can happen too.