Gay, or not gay?

[SGVBOB]

I am starting this thread to get an idea of what peoples' thoughts are on this 1 simple question:
"If (you) see a person of the same sex, and think that he/she is attractive/pretty/good looking, does that 'automatically' make you 'gay'? (WITH THE PREMISE, that you are not thinking with your (w)hor(e)mones, but rather strictly from the 'physical beauty' sense, or, in other words, is it okay (regardless of your sexual orientation),to say, "you know you are really handsome"-if you are a guy, (to another guy), or "you know, you really look pretty!", (if you are a girl)without it being construed as a 'come on'?

 

[Ms. Kianna]

Absolutely not! I think that there are many breathtakingly beautiful women out there.

That being said, I have absolutely zero desire to see them naked, or have sex with them. I don't fantasize about them. I don't think of them wrapping their arms around me, and making the rest of the world go away.

Thinking that someone is beautiful, handsome, or attractive doesn't mean anything about your sexuality. Where your thoughts go beyond that, tells where your interests lie.

 

[cuttman]

I am starting this thread to get an idea of what peoples' thoughts are on this 1 simple question:
"If (you) see a person of the same sex, and think that he/she is attractive/pretty/good looking, does that 'automatically' make you 'gay'? (WITH THE PREMISE, that you are not thinking with your (w)hor(e)mones, but rather strictly from the 'physical beauty' sense, or, in other words, is it okay (regardless of your sexual orientation),to say, "you know you are really handsome"-if you are a guy, (to another guy), or "you know, you really look pretty!", (if you are a girl)without it being construed as a 'come on'?

I don't usually reply to posts, but this one I found very interesting. As a younger man I can honestly state that I never was conscience of my choice of male sex partners. I was a case of if the opportunity presented itself I went for it. As I have gotten older I now actually look at guys bodies and mannerism in a sexual manner. I look for a certain body type, coloring,etc. I also am at a point where when I consider my choice of friends they seem to fall into this category also. Like I stated before it was not something I did knowingly . Perhaps as I becme more confortable with my sexuality I became more comfortable with my subconscience thoughts. So in order to answer your question I would say yes from my own personal views.

 

[underwear fun]

Absolutely not! I think that there are many breathtakingly beautiful women out there.

That being said, I have absolutely zero desire to see them naked, or have sex with them. I don't fantasize about them. I don't think of them wrapping their arms around me, and making the rest of the world go away.

Thinking that someone is beautiful, handsome, or attractive doesn't mean anything about your sexuality. Where your thoughts go beyond that, tells where your interests lie.

I totally agree with Ms. K.

Undie

 

[joninliverton]

Absolutely not! I think that there are many breathtakingly beautiful women out there.

That being said, I have absolutely zero desire to see them naked, or have sex with them. I don't fantasize about them. I don't think of them wrapping their arms around me, and making the rest of the world go away.

Thinking that someone is beautiful, handsome, or attractive doesn't mean anything about your sexuality. Where your thoughts go beyond that, tells where your interests lie.

For once I agree with Miss K The problem with a lot of good looking gays and lesbians is that they think that all good looking men and women should be gay - this is because they fantasise about being in bed with them. I hate this attitude and it is one that often gives the gay community a bad name.

 

[cumrag27]

Male Reproductive Imperatives:

Absolutely not! I think that there are many breathtakingly beautiful women out there.

That being said, I have absolutely zero desire to see them naked, or have sex with them. I don't fantasize about them. I don't think of them wrapping their arms around me, and making the rest of the world go away.

Thinking that someone is beautiful, handsome, or attractive doesn't mean anything about your sexuality. Where your thoughts go beyond that, tells where your interests lie.

Dear Ms. Kianna,

I agree with what you said but tempered somewhat for those males with gained emotional/sexual maturity and in direct proportion to their observable testosterone levels. Males are much less likely to directly comment on another males beauty or appearance unlike females but the sexual component is always on tap just below the surface, so to speak. Under highly private circumstances, males don't discriminate as long as it some form of sex is in the offing.

Males have a different reproductive imperative than females making monogamy more laborious and really finding temptation much harder to resist. When they say "Sex sells" they are really talking directly to men's core. We are simply our own worst enemy when it comes to sexual impulse control. Being the eternal optimist on future sexual prospects, guys are always overly hopeful that they are just one step away from some new sexual experience offering that ever elusive orgasmic adventure of a lifetime. I certainly have been there more than once.

While most men are overwhelmingly sex driven creatures, they can recognize the beauty or attractiveness in some other guy without verbally mentioning it or going XXX rated mentally. Guys may have many more opportunities to see other guys naked than more modest females do, as a whole. However, I do not think most guys see naked men in their mind when routinely interacting with other males because they will be sufficiently distracted by some unrelated activity, usually sports related, keeping their minds free of them "dirty thoughts" . Age is definitely a factor as males have a much greater thirst the younger they are (a natural curiosity) to see naked male bodies in all its many variations.

In a true spirit of competition between other sexually active males, the all looming "penis size" issue needs to be answered definitively, but this must be carried out with only the strictest discretion. Crotch watchers are universally shunned in all dressing rooms, gay or straight. Guys all too often feel those glaring eyes focused on their butt or crotch and stare you down when first suspected of this minor offense. Other physical penalties may ensue depending on the severity level. I've never understood this general lack of understanding and/or empathy, as straight guys think nothing of checking out any female within 100 yards in any direction regardless of the proximity of their girlfriend/spouse. Whatever you do, just don't check out the guy next door using the urinals.

 

[clock12]

"If (you) see a person of the same sex, and think that he/she is attractive/pretty/good looking, does that 'automatically' make you 'gay'? (WITH THE PREMISE, that you are not thinking with your (w)hor(e)mones, but rather strictly from the 'physical beauty' sense,

No. This is more an acknowledgment (or assumption) of a person's physical attractiveness to other people.

or, in other words, is it okay (regardless of your sexual orientation),to say, "you know you are really handsome"-if you are a guy, (to another guy), or "you know, you really look pretty!", (if you are a girl)without it being construed as a 'come on'?

This is a different question. Some people may consider it a "come on," while others may see it for what it is, a simple complement, or even an objective observation. In America, social norms allow females to complement each other's appearance more easily without an assumption of sexual attraction than for males to do likewise. Broadly speaking. The more educated, the more liberal minded, the less chance of a faux pas here.

 

[clock12]

Dear Ms. Kianna,

I agree with what you said but tempered somewhat for those males with gained emotional/sexual maturity and in direct proportion to their observable testosterone levels. Males are much less likely to directly comment on another males beauty or appearance unlike females but the sexual component is always on tap just below the surface, so to speak. Under highly private circumstances, males don't discriminate as long as it some form of sex is in the offing.

Males have a different reproductive imperative than females making monogamy more laborious and really finding temptation much harder to resist. When they say "Sex sells" they are really talking directly to men's core. We are simply our own worst enemy when it comes to sexual impulse control. Being the eternal optimist on future sexual prospects, guys are always overly hopeful that they are just one step away from some new sexual experience offering that ever elusive orgasmic adventure of a lifetime. I certainly have been there more than once.

While most men are overwhelmingly sex driven creatures, they can recognize the beauty or attractiveness in some other guy without verbally mentioning it or going XXX rated mentally. Guys may have many more opportunities to see other guys naked than more modest females do, as a whole. However, I do not think most guys see naked men in their mind when routinely interacting with other males because they will be sufficiently distracted by some unrelated activity, usually sports related, keeping their minds free of them "dirty thoughts". Age is definitely a factor as males have a much greater thirst the younger they are (a natural curiosity) to see naked male bodies in all its many variations.

In a true spirit of competition between other sexually active males, the all looming "penis size" issue needs to be answered definitively, but this must be carried out with only the strictest discretion. Crotch watchers are universally shunned in all dressing rooms, gay or straight. Guys all too often feel those glaring eyes focused on their butt or crotch and stare you down when first suspected of this minor offense. Other physical penalties may ensue depending on the severity level. I've never understood this general lack of understanding and/or empathy, as straight guys think nothing of checking out any female within 100 yards in any direction regardless of the proximity of their girlfriend/spouse. Whatever you do, just don't check out the guy next door using the urinals.

Excellent points! You bring up some issues that deserve more elucidation.

[...] the all looming "penis size" issue needs to be answered definitively...

Ok, go for it dude!

 

[SGVBOB]

Clock...THIS(YOUR VERY COMMENT), as to almost verbatim what you said, "In America, social norms allow each other's appearance more easily without an assumption of sexual attraction than for males to do likewise", is why I started this thread. It is a sad sight to see there is still prejudice in HOW WE ARE TO TALK/SPEAK! I am in total dismay that we are in the 21st century, and the INDIVIDUAL does not have the FREEDOM to speak 'freely' meaning he has to be careful not to choose 'too feminine sounding words' or he is said to be gay. Or BETTER YET, one who talks with a lisp, is 'automatically'(I would presume at least 90% of the time, if not more), to be homosexual.

No. This is more an acknowledgment (or assumption) of a person's physical attractiveness to other people.

This is a different question. Some people may consider it a "come on," while others may see it for what it is, a simple complement, or even an objective observation. In America, social norms allow females to complement each other's appearance more easily without an assumption of sexual attraction than for males to do likewise. Broadly speaking. The more educated, the more liberal minded, the less chance of a faux pas here.

 

[SGVBOB]

This, being said,(highlighted), is one e reasone reason I started the thread!

Absolutely not! I think that there are many breathtakingly beautiful women out there.

That being said, I have absolutely zero desire to see them naked, or have sex with them. I don't fantasize about them. I don't think of them wrapping their arms around me, and making the rest of the world go away.

Thinking that someone is beautiful, handsome, or attractive doesn't mean anything about your sexuality. Where your thoughts go beyond that, tells where your interests lie.

 

[underwear fun]

I don't usually reply to posts, but this one I found very interesting.

Hey cuttman,

The more points of view the merrier. People can only agree or disagree with you!

Undie

 

[lovelumps]

I have really never been attracted to a woman, however, I have some friends I think are absolutely gorgeous, and some I find incredibly sexy. I have no problem complimenting my friends, female or male, or strangers if I find them attractive. Now, when I look at men, I always wonder about them sexually, unless I find them completely unattractive. I've always had a hard time not looking at crotches. Perhaps it is a biological imperative to look at every man as a potential sexual partner, maybe not, but I've always done that. I hope I've at least managed to not be completely obvious about that all the time Of course, I'm not attracted to every man I meet or see, and I do not find myself in the unenviable position of being attracted to any of my friend's husbands! I find myself being sexually attracted to younger and younger men lately, perhaps a result of my Broke Straight Boys membership At any rate, I've probably embarrassed myself at restaurants and shops lately with my slack jawed mouth and rubber neck! But, damn, there are some truly fine, fine men out there, and I am going to look! I hope, until the day I die!

 

[lovelumps]

I finished answering this thread and realized that I didn't really address the question... I agree that finding someone sexually attractive can be an indicator that a person is gay, however, I think a person can find someone of the same sex sexually attractive and not be gay. I have mentioned before and I mention below that I've never really been attracted to a woman, but there is one woman I know now that I think is just smoking, burns my panties, hot and I would absolutely fool around with her given an opportunity. However, I completely identify myself as straight and have gotten to the age of 42 without ever having been attracted to a woman before now.

I have really never been attracted to a woman, however, I have some friends I think are absolutely gorgeous, and some I find incredibly sexy. I have no problem complimenting my friends, female or male, or strangers if I find them attractive. Now, when I look at men, I always wonder about them sexually, unless I find them completely unattractive. I've always had a hard time not looking at crotches. Perhaps it is a biological imperative to look at every man as a potential sexual partner, maybe not, but I've always done that. I hope I've at least managed to not be completely obvious about that all the time Of course, I'm not attracted to every man I meet or see, and I do not find myself in the unenviable position of being attracted to any of my friend's husbands! I find myself being sexually attracted to younger and younger men lately, perhaps a result of my Broke Straight Boys membership At any rate, I've probably embarrassed myself at restaurants and shops lately with my slack jawed mouth and rubber neck! But, damn, there are some truly fine, fine men out there, and I am going to look! I hope, until the day I die!

 

[SGVBOB]

THANK YOU to EB that has/will participate(d) in this thread....I feel that this topic is a very taboo one, but one that should be addressed!

I HOPE that it can be an ONGOING one, with MANY posts, with everyone's belief's/POV's

 

[panzer104]

I work with a guy that is close to being the ALL TIME homophobe/gay basher (and no, he isn't one of those "if he fights it that bad, he must be one, guys) and he can admit and vocalize another mans beauty/handsomeness. It sounds odd coming from his mouth, but he got into it with our foreman the other day saying, "Beauty ain't a sexual thing, man. It has no fucking regard for male, female, you, me or anything like that. So if I say that dude is a handsome dude, it doesn't mean I want to fuck him, it just means he is a handsome dude. Fuck you and get back to work..." That's being comfortable with your sexuality and proof, to me, that seeing beauty in the same sex does not make you gay.

 

[cumrag27]

The ultimate war trophe

I work with a guy that is close to being the ALL TIME homophobe/gay basher (and no, he isn't one of those "if he fights it that bad, he must be one, guys) and he can admit and vocalize another mans beauty/handsomeness. It sounds odd coming from his mouth, but he got into it with our foreman the other day saying, "Beauty ain't a sexual thing, man. It has no fucking regard for male, female, you, me or anything like that. So if I say that dude is a handsome dude, it doesn't mean I want to fuck him, it just means he is a handsome dude. Fuck you and get back to work..." That's being comfortable with your sexuality and proof, to me, that seeing beauty in the same sex does not make you gay.

Dear Panzer104,

I know that as a fellow soldier, you can be most charming and even with the "enemy combatants". Have you ever fantasized about your homophobe/gay basher co-worker thinking his generalized statements about how..."he can admit and vocalize another mans beauty/handsomeness?" could, perhaps, be referring directly to you after all?

I think that he probably is into kink and would love being strapped down and gagged, as a prisoner of war, no less, about to face "waterboarding". I think your co-worker would be sufficently arousing to give him the full "hands on-baptisimal/conversion treatment" followed by a tatoo in his pubic region leaving it as a permanent momento marking your quality time spent together. You know, I can see now he probably is a big "leaker" already possessing a big wet stain coating the front of his hole-filled, baggy, and stained "battle-worn" drab green boxers. And, now, I can just begin to see his index finger signaling longingly to you ordering..."Come her you big beautiful handsome Panzer boy you"!

I don't know about you Panzer, but my field glasses are now completely steamed up and and useless requiring I must take immediate corrective action. I leave your decision to engage or not to engage the enemy before you! What will it be, Panzer?

Sincerely,

Field Marshall German Helmethead (codename: Cumrag27, aka Stimpy) that's an order!

 

[panzer104]

Dear Panzer104,

I know that as a fellow soldier, you can be most charming and even with the "enemy combatants". Have you ever fantasized about your homophobe/gay basher co-worker thinking his generalized statements about how..."he can admit and vocalize another mans beauty/handsomeness?" could, perhaps, be referring directly to you after all?

I think that he probably is into kink and would love being strapped down and gagged, as a prisoner of war, no less, about to face "waterboarding". I think your co-worker would be sufficently arousing to give him the full "hands on-baptisimal/conversion treatment" followed by a tatoo in his pubic region leaving it as a permanent momento marking your quality time spent together. You know, I can see now he probably is a big "leaker" already possessing a big wet stain coating the front of his hole-filled, baggy, and stained "battle-worn" drab green boxers. And, now, I can just begin to see his index finger signaling longingly to you ordering..."Come her you big beautiful handsome Panzer boy you"!

I don't know about you Panzer, but my field glasses are now completely steamed up and and useless requiring I must take immediate corrective action. I leave your decision to engage or not to engage the enemy before you! What will it be, Panzer?

Sincerely,

Field Marshall German Helmethead (codename: Cumrag27, aka Stimpy) that's an order!

Field Marshall German Helmethead,
Your vivid imagery put the perma-steam on my field glasses and I fear I will need to get more. Should this be an all out BlitzKreig or an ambush "from behind"?So viele taktische Optionen...

Danke, Feldmarschall German Helmethead aka Stimpy.
Unteroffizier Panzer

 

[Phillionaire]

Wow... Okay let's see here.

For some reason, I'm gonna say this first.
I think the compliment depends on how its in context!
Another guy would say to another guy the words : sharp, good, fresh...
A elder family member would say to same sex male: handsome, cute, good.

Attractive and hot is implying emotions and feelings. That would be "gay". If a guy says "hey man, your lookin pretty attractive tonight", that's gay. But if he would say "hey man, your look fresh tonight" that's implying, lookin fuckin sexy and ready for a good night, no homo! Haha its all just so complicated and really hard to grasp.


I find myself looking at teens and thinkin "he's hot'..but I'm not gay, so here is where I contridict! Its almost just how we say it everyday that's how we think it, but that's not true. I think "he's hot" because "he's good" wouldn't make sense, but he's good looking would be perfect yet if I tell another guy "your good looking" it just depends how they take it, which is usually creeped out and wondering, why did he just tell me I was good looking!!

I was going to say more but I'm just gonna end this postt with..


'Gay or Straight" - "Geek or Jock" they are both sterotypes. People are people. We consider gay and straight by what has been brought up and taught generation to generation pretty much with the same method as the game 'telephone' because it really could change that quickly!

I think its all about the indivisual and what his true intentions are in same sex sexual incounters!

One of the only reason why most straight guys don't do anything sexual wiith other straight guys its because they feel they are going to be judge and they don't want that! Afraid people will make fun of them and sterotype them.

Get rid of the fear.
Get rid of sterotyping.


P.S - hehe.. If I have a straight friend who I havnt tried to seduce or if I have the slightest sexual interest, I tend to watch their crotch!! Haha there I confess!

 

[cumrag27]

za Feldmarschall is in

Field Marshall German Helmethead,
Your vivid imagery put the perma-steam on my field glasses and I fear I will need to get more. Should this be an all out BlitzKreig or an ambush "from behind"?So viele taktische Optionen...

Danke, Feldmarschall German Helmethead aka Stimpy.
Unteroffizier Panzer

Dear Unteroffizier Panzer104,

Despite what appearz to be routine wartime formality, za Feldmarschall has not made za final decision with all za final detailz not being in platz. While za Feldmarschall rarely entertainz idle spezulation from za likes of za Unteroffizier, like yourzelf, perhapz just this vone time, perhapz maybe.

It seemz I have heard zhese words in za background..."Should zhis be an all out BlitzKreig or an ambush "fromz za beheinz"? Za more I hear it zaid, za more it soundz "Wonderbar" in all its "hairy detailz" cooming fromz za beheinz. After all, one doez not become za Feldmarschall without first zeveloping an abiding love for za "hairy details, and I zay za hairier za better! Yah? Goode!

Za only thingz about "hairy detailz" is that it often is za bit ticklish to our pointed nozes holding up za "double monicles". In phact I have noticed za steam rizing from two plazes, namely frome my mouth when making za orderz and in za deepest part of zhose delectible "hairy detailz" ezpecially when I have to eizher licke za stamp or zeal za envelopez. Only zhen do I truly and fully appreziate za manly zcent coming from za deep "hairy detailz".

Za manly zcent is zimply zenzational and makes me thinkz of my mudtherz homemade from za homeland, no less, freshly cooked Wiener Schnitzel in all its glory with za sliced lemonz with za large red & white checked cloth napkin tied carefully around my neck and everything!!! Be ever mindful to alwayz uze za red & white checked cloth napkinz alwayz az za white onez might zignal zurrendor or worze. Das Goode, Yah?

Az it iz well pastz za Feldmarschall'z bedtime, za Feldmarschall will have to get back with za Unteroffizier Panzer104 on Wednezday or Thurzday. Za zooner za better! After all, za var still is going on and za Feldmarschall'z menz are hiz firzt conzern.

Danke, Feldmarschall German Helmethead aka Stimpy

 

[panzer104]

'Gay or Straight" - "Geek or Jock" they are both sterotypes. People are people. We consider gay and straight by what has been brought up and taught generation to generation pretty much with the same method as the game 'telephone' because it really could change that quickly!

I think its all about the indivisual and what his true intentions are in same sex sexual incounters!

One of the only reason why most straight guys don't do anything sexual wiith other straight guys its because they feel they are going to be judge and they don't want that! Afraid people will make fun of them and sterotype them.

Get rid of the fear.
Get rid of sterotyping.


P.S - hehe.. If I have a straight friend who I havnt tried to seduce or if I have the slightest sexual interest, I tend to watch their crotch!! Haha there I confess!

Well put, Phillionaire. Not something that is thought of right away, or at all. I like the sentiment that people are people and labels be damned. While some may disagree with the idea that gay is a label, I can fully agree. Well thought out post...welcome to the forum. Keep bringing the thoughtful insight. It is most welcomed.

And Cumrag...you never stop amazing me.