mikeyank
Long time forumite
I think there is being gay and “doing” gay. Any sexual activity between same sex is doing, and seeking out the same sex for intimacy to fulfill an emotional need is being gay.
Either one is possible without the other, such as you can be gay and not have sex and you can do gay sex without seeking out men to fulfill an emotional need.
The problem with my definition is the result depends on intent, and even the subject might not understand why they are doing something.
I find bi as the most interesting, since men and woman are so much different emotionally and somehow either can fulfill the same emotional needs.
Attraction is a whole different thing, and I feel it’s only needed to get the ball rolling. I very much see myself as demisexual but if things click real well I can feel that close emotional connection even tho it doesn’t actually exist, which I attribute to attraction. That attraction is very much in favor of men so it makes the likely hood of a relationship with a woman very small but not 0%.
Back to the main question tho, if a male is having sex with another male for any other reason then to fulfill an emotional need then I don’t feel like they are ever really gay.
Porn is funny, because they are only there for the money, there are a lot of jobs that I wouldn’t do. Porn isn’t easy work and the money isn’t super amazing, so I believe if they keep going back for more then they are getting some kind of emotional enjoyment out of the experience.
I wrote a lot.
Thank you for your thoughtful and thought provoking response. I am most attracted to straight identifying guys who have sex with other guys, which is why this is my only paid porn source. It may not be what it once was, but it is still my main internet home.
