Thank you so much David for sharing all those stories of the models. It's sad for us as viewers and fans of the site, and fans of the models, to hear when they didn't have stereotypical fairy tale happy endings to their porn careers. But it is real life. So those of us who are more worldly know to expect some sadder and even tragic circumstances for some former models.
I'm very sorry to hear about all of the ones who are no longer with us. Leon is one whose premature death really shocked me. Such tragic circumstances. Preston also was such a sweetheart. I wish he could have conquered his demons. But whether it's "only" depression, bipolar disorder, severe OCD, or a plethora of other debilitating mental health diagnoses...it's extremely difficult to get them under control without a lot of professional help and an at-home support network.
David's description of Preston's final words to David as well as memories of the model Danny (Blue eyes) brings this up for me. This part I would like to direct not just to David and Eddie but also to the past and current
Broke Straight Boys team including Mark, Sha, Sabrina Bryce, Thunder and anyone else's name who escapes me right now. I want to thank you all so much for providing your models with a semblance of a supportive adopted family type of environment when they arrived/arrive to film with you. Those of us whose childhoods were not necessarily perfect but were at least functional and somewhat "normal", have no idea of some of the total dysfunction some of these models have witnessed by the time they reach your doorstep. It sounds like many of them were already damaged and among the walking wounded by the time you first met them.
Just the simple act of preparing them decent homecooked meals and having a family-style gathering around the table to share meals together, is something that obviously too many of them are not used to. Maybe their childhoods were filled with so much alcoholism, domestic violence, mental health issues, child abuse and drug abuse among the parent(s) raising them, that mealtimes were remembered as horror shows. Or sometimes maybe they didn't get meals at all and went hungry.
One thing that has dawned on me over the years of watching some of these models come and go, (along with your descriptions of some of their circumstances in other posts) is that some of these guys arrive at the model house after literally having gone hungry for days, weeks or even months on end. Some of them are so broke and down on their luck that they can't afford groceries. Or maybe they're on a fast-food, one small meal per day kind of diet. To have nice, communal, structured, well balanced home-cooked meals (with meat even) in an emotionally safe and supportive environment...and where they can safely ask for and get seconds or more until they're actually full...can feel like a Disney-esque experience for them. It must be a humbling yet also gratifying experience to see so many of these guys show up literally hungry and have them be so grateful and appreciative to be well fed once they arrive.
Over the years we've seen models show up who are very thin or have sunken-in cheekbones or pasty white skin. Of course some people are naturally very skinny at younger ages or even later adulthood, and they're perfectly healthy and well nourished. On the other hand for those of us who are a little more jaded to the ways of the world, we might see combinations of all of these signs and jump to our go-to diagnosis of drug abuse. And likely we would be right about that a vast majority of the time. However we've seen a few models here on
Broke Straight Boys over the years who in spite of skinniness, sunken cheekbones, an unhealthy looking pallor to the skin, lack of sparkle in the eye, etc., who I actually don't think were abusing drugs. I think they were suffering from extended bouts of malnutrition. (And/or a very unbalanced, unhealthy diet of whatever they
were actually eating.)
Just to give a couple of examples, when I first saw Danny show up I was very taken with his beauty. However when I saw his skinniness I thought it didn't look quite right on his frame. And I thought that not in a body shaming kind of way. It just clicked with me that something wasn't quite right. But I couldn't discern at the time exactly what it was. I myself was much skinnier than Danny when I was his age. But for me it was just the genetics of a naturally thin build along with a very high metabolism. Then years later David shared with us that Danny had been trying to go to college without parental support. Probably some bad history, drama and dysfunction in his relationship with them. Regardless though, Danny shared with David that he had been going hungry trying to support himself as a proverbial (and real) starving college student. He just couldn't afford to pay for school, keep a roof over his head, and buy decent groceries. Meat was so prohibitively expensive for him that he was substituting eggs as his protein for meals. David said that Danny actually told him that he was so thrilled to be getting real meat in his meals while he stayed there for filming.
Then it made sense to me that Danny's skinniness and the way something looked slightly off on his frame, was because he really was under-weight from his normal body build. I'm guessing maybe 5-15 lbs less than what he would have been if he was eating normally.
The other would-be model that I clued in on right away was someone who never became a real model here. It was the guy we called "Desperate Mike". He was a very down on his luck straight kid who showed up at the
Broke Straight Boys house in Colorado only because gay porn was the absolute last resort he could think of to bring in some decent quick cash. He was at his wits end. I'm guessing that he was at least borderline homeless, if not truly homeless. And he was definitely penniless. He shared before his first scene that he had a ton of reservations about doing gay for pay because he was straight and came from a very strong conservative Christian background. He did not make it as a model and ended up cancelling his first scene while on the set. So I can only imagine how thrilled the staff was to have him waste their time and company money flying him in from out of state, putting him up in the house, and then having to turn around and pay for him to fly back home. I felt so sorry for him. But I digress.
The reason I bring him up is because he had just about every one of the physical signs of drug abuse. But I don't think it was drugs. Although it's possible and I'll never know for certain. But he was very skinny, had sunken-in cheekbones, dull eyes, an unhealthy skin tone and so on. But I think the guy was actually suffering from a more prolonged and severe state of malnutrition. That's why after the video showed him leaving the house early with Sabrina to go to the airport, I wrote in a post in here at the time that If I knew Mark and Sabrina, I'm sure they at least offered him some breakfast before they left.
We don't know all of these guys' stories and circumstances when they show up at a D&E or
Broke Straight Boys model house. So please guys... Regardless of whether a model shows arrives from the airport or his home by car at an extremely late or early hour... Please offer him/them something to eat even if it's 2 or 3 am. Even if it's just a sandwich and chips or some heated up soup. Pride or shyness may stand in the way of them asking for food at unusual hours. But I know I would sleep better at night knowing that I offered it to them and gave them the choice. And I would always feel much better in my soul knowing that nobody staying as a house guest in my home would
ever leave my home truly hungry.
