Ambi, I thought that was a very nice post and sincerely hope that it's intended was able to appreciate it.
I do however want to use this (if I may) to say that we as members on the forum also need to be made aware of something I've observed from the first time I posted till present. And also, to get others to perhaps participate in the discussion as well.
When I first discovered the forum and a place to discuss things about porn, models and all things gay men discuss, I had so much I wanted to share at once I flooded the place with comments! What I didn't know was; THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT! There are members who've been, not only on the site but, participants on the forum for a very long time. They're (for the sake of a description) Established Members. They have seen many things (related to this site and or it's models, management etc) and have probably heard IT ALL, as far as anything a newbie might bring up. Though I was warmly welcome and greeted, within a very short time, I was bumping heads with other members! I got a distinct "GOOD OLE BOY" vibe and took on a very defensive posture!
I did start making real, genuine connections after a while. Beth, Mikeyank,Tampa and PeterH were among the first. But, the forum atmosphere can be a bit intimidating to someone new! It takes a while to get to know the people, what conversations to stay out of, who is going to react to what....who will say something predictable (that's my own thing....ha ha). While it is a PORN SITE, the forum is different things to different people. It can be a very nice atmosphere and, at times....not so much! I've seen a lot of older posters leave; Milla, Rick, Robert...Cumrag?(Stimpy) and even some new members come and go. Bonds have been formed on this very forum!
The one thing that "new comers" tend to do however, is bring new, fresh perspectives. Sometimes it seems like we do hear the same thoughts, ideas and concerns over and over (like recirculated air). Some even think that a newbie is sometimes a "mole" to shake things up a bit! Sometimes, that could be true (maybe) who knows? But, let's get back to the "Rules of engagement". Do you think the forum has an
Implied set? How do you feel a new poster should be welcomed? How was your first experience on the forum? If you're still here, how do you feel now? Do you come for the forum or the porn? These are questions I ask myself often, what are your thoughts?
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Hi, Betu (XOXOXOXO) ~
First of all, I bear no grudges toward Dr. M. for expressing his opinions, or raising his questions. It's all fair ball, as far as I'm concerned. And, as you will have seen, Dr. M. posted a very civilized and gracious response to my letter, for which I am appreciative.
Betu - I came here for one reason, and one reason only -
Jason Matthews - because I adore him, and think he is the sexiest model of all time. Am I here for the forum, or the erotic video???? Well, Betu. . . come on! You weren't born yesterday! If I wanted, I could spend my weekends in Bible-study classes, or in a literary discussion circle, but. . . I'm here because I have a super-high sex drive, and watching Jason, Paul, or Adam get off, gets ME off, too! LOL!
HOWEVER, I WILL SAY - this is a very, very nice forum: which is home to a shining constellation of brilliant, funny, witty, and compassionate people. And it's absolutely wonderful to relax, and talk to you all, about any subject under the sun - from sexuality, to politics, to music, or literature: knowing that
someone out there is going to understand.
AND - the forum IS a place where real friendships can be forged. I feel very lucky, because this is kind of a second chance for me. For many years, I was a frequent poster on a forum that was hosted on a (now-defunct) Eastern-European site, and I met some of the best friends of my lifetime, there. . . people whom I have subsequently gotten to know in real life, and visited, and et cetera. It is really nice that
Broke Straight Boys offers the same opportunity for the exchange of ideas, and the creation of friendships. I think it is really wonderful - and there are not many sites out there, that afford this opportunity, anymore.
Now, Betu, is there, on the
Broke Straight Boys board, a "code of conduct", or strict "rules of engagement"??? I don't really think so. But, Betu, it would be very interesting to me to know if you have ever taken the Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory!!! (A sort of personality-profile derived from the insights of Carl Gustav Jung.)
According to the MBPI, I'm an "INFJ". I'm predominately intuitive and lead with the heart. I make virtually immediate decisions about whom I like, or don't like, based upon fragments of what they write, or say. I am also extremely disorganized, and care VERY LITTLE about established rules, and regulations, if they conflict with what my heart tells me, to do.
You will have noticed, that dear Jon, from Liverton (whom I love very much, even though his personality is diametrically opposed to mine - he and I would be DISASTROUS, as lovers, though I think we have become great friends!!!): is always trying to clean up threads, and urge people to post under the appropriate topic, and so on. (Which is perfectly justifiable, and conduces to a more readable board!)
I, on the other hand (left-handed, and right-brained, as I am) don't give a flying f*** about all that. If someone wants to go off on a tangent, in the midst of a thread: I think it's
fascinating, and will not only encourage them - I'll join right in!!! LOL!!!
But these sorts of things, Betu, are a function of one's personality, and conversational style. On boards like this, they can loom large, at times - and even give rise to controversy. In terms of the intellectual dimension, some people prize order and intellectual discipline, on a board: others are much more tolerant of a little anarchy. (I'm in the latter camp, I suppose.) In terms of the emotional dimension, some people can tolerate quite a lot of conflict, in the interest of intellectual integrity. . . while others prefer that conflict be muted, in the interest of peace, love, and probably granola-bars, all 'round. (Again, being an INFJ, I am in the latter camp.)
Betu, I DO FEEL for those who imagine that there are (or must be) "rules of engagement", on message-boards like this: who are wanting and needing rules, beyond, of course, the keeping of federal, state, and civic, LAW. Because, message-boards like this one are inevitably messy, and anarchic. Perversely, perhaps - I think that is what makes them
so interesting.
Betu: my experience on this board (as on others, before) has been this: I have come, and simply tried to be myself. I have a great many controversial opinions, which I know will not wear well, with everyone. So, when I express them, I try to be gentle and diplomatic, without ever betraying myself. I try to be interesting; I try to amuse; I try to have FUN. Because I am a Celt, with a FEROCIOUS TEMPER, invariably (from time to time) I get so pissed-off with someone who has made an innocent comment I didn't appreciate (usually because I took it out of context - I am not a saint, like Tampa!): I dump loads of fire and brimstone, over his head. Usually, thereafter, I have to apologize. But I don't really mind doing so, if I am in the wrong ~ as I very frequently, am.
Betu, is there, on this board, an "establishment", of "ESTABLISHED MEMBERS"? Well,
YES and NO.
Betu, in any social group where primates converge (LOL!!!) there WILL BE a sort of social order - but that needn't be a HORRIBLE thing! As people get to know one another, over time - and share ideas and experiences - it is only NATURAL that likings, affinities, affections, and mutual respect, will emerge. (Honestly, if it were NOT SO, one would have great cause for concern!!!!)
However, that there are pre-existing (or long-existing) friendships, in a community such as this, needn't and
shouldn't mean that anyone new should feel (or be made to feel) excluded. Despite the fact that I am a MAD CELT, with an array of outrageous opinions, and a thin skin and a rotten temper, to boot. . . people have been exquisitely nice to me, here. I have simply been myself, and presented myself, and all my bizarre notions, to the group - and have found many fine friends. Right from the start.
OF COURSE, and this is inevitable, some of those friendships took longer than others, to forge - because the partners in some of those friendships have such different ideas, and experiences, from my own.
But those, I think, are the most valuable friendships - the ones with people whom, in real life, one would seldom agree, and perhaps might never meet. That, Betu, is the glorious value, of a place such as this.
To any new member, who is feeling concern about how to enjoy the board, or "fit in" on the board, and wondering how to accomplish this. . . I would say (to quote one of my old heroes, Mr. Quentin Crisp): SIMPLY BE YOURSELF. Of course, take some pains to be kind, and civil, and humane - because these are important graces, which will not go unnoticed. But, by the same token, never hesitate to share your REAL IDEAS, and what's REALLY on your mind ~ because people will really value your candour, in the end: even if they protest at the moment. (Unless, of course, you're a Nazi, or something, in which case all bets are OFF - and sometime, Betu, I'll have to tell you all about the beautiful blond Argentinian Nazi who desperately wanted to date me, and whom I consigned, to. . .
EREBUS.)
That's it, that's all, but Betu - I hope I have answered your question, in a proper fashion. Always, always, always, BE YOURSELF, no matter what they say.
"A" XOXOXOXOXOXO
*An Englishman in New York ~ written by "Sting", in tribute to Quentin Crisp:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d27gTrPPAyk
A penny every time someone
