An Open Apology to Rob Ryder, Clay and the Rest of the Forum

[lesit78]

It is with a heavy heart that I must humbly ask the forgiveness of the many of you in here. The events and postings of the last 72 hours, suffice to say will not go down as one of my finer moments. I most sincerely and specifically ask the forgiveness of Rob and Clay and the Broke Straight Boys staff for all that I either said myself or helped to instigate.

I want to thank Stimpy very much for being the voice of reason in my near temporary insanity. I have behaved atrociously with the use of my words. Some of it was over the top. Some of it was just plain mean spirited. I can hardly believe it myself. Sometimes it takes a friend whom you like and respect to hold up a mirror and say, "Look what you're doing here!" Stimpy held up that mirror to me and I didn't like what I saw at all.

I wish I could say that it was indeed some temporary insanity, like going off meds or something. I could say that I shouldn't be writing posts at 3:00 am when I have a bad cold. I could try to pile on a bunch of excuses but the truth is I have only myself to blame.

One thing is abundantly clear here with Rob in particular. This is absolutely NO way to welcome a beloved guest into our home. Rob deserves far better than what I have shown him over the last 3 days. One would easily think that I didn't like Rob. Even though nothing could be further from the truth. I DO like Rob. Alot! From here on I guess I will have to try even harder to make that truth clear to him. We are blessed to have a fine young man like Rob Ryder with us over here. I'm so sorry Rob. I hope you can forgive me. I sincerely look forward to all the future work you do here on the site. I'm glad you're here!

To Clay. I have been so unkind in my harsh critiques of your work. You work so hard directing two major sites. Colin says you work like a dog. I can only imagine how much you are trying to juggle on a daily basis. You deserve far more respect than I have been showing you lately. Suggestions or constructive criticism are one thing. Crossing the line is something we think will never happen to us. Until unfortunately in this case I did. I know that you are always trying to deliver great work for your many customers. I am truly sorry for any hurt or offense I may have caused you.

To all the staff of Broke Straight Boys I wish to offer my apologies for any hurt, stress or inconvenience I may have caused you over the last few days. You work so hard. In spite of my harsh words here in the forum lately I hope you still know that I respect and value each one of you.

To my fellow forumites I also ask your forgiveness in making this place more stressful and less inviting than it should be. It breaks my heart to hear new members say they stay away because they think the forum is too negative. I like to think that I try to make it more positive place to hang out and chat. In this case in particular I have not set a good example. I promise to try harder to do better in that regard.

Tampa you're a wonderful guy, but I don't think you needed to apologize for anything. I have always known you to state your thoughts in a kind, thoughtful, considerate manner at all times.

My only hope is that you're feeling better!

 

[cumrag27]

Lets get this settled after all - MY FINAL WORD ON THIS TOPIC!

Stimpy, with all due respect, I have read your above post twice now and I don't understand what point you're trying to make. It appears you were telling Tampa he shouldn't have apologized, but then you went into a rather confusing rant about various topics. But I'm not really sure what you're trying to illustrate other than you don't think people should be negative or speak their mind?

Dear Abe and other inquisitive forumites,

All I was saying was that we all are free to form our own opinions, as did Tampa in this case. Yet, repeatedly, he was being told that "he was wrong for apologizing in his post. He had nothing to apologize over." Evidently, Tampa felt he needed to make this gesture to Rob to reassure Rob was indeed 'd here on Broke Straight Boys making his transition from CDudes. In Tampa's typically diplomatic way, he was expressing an apology "extending an olive branch" for his prior statements. I feel Tampa is over 18 and he should be free to express how he feels about this issue on the forum.

Tampa's apology was in direct response to another post I wrote earlier. Tampa merely thanked me for illuminating my concerns over Broke Straight Boys members being so almost universally disinviting to Rob, even before the episode in question had been released. The whole issue revolved around Kodi and Rob being paired together and this had ignited a backlash on the forum against Rob. I THOUGHT THIS BACKLASH WAS UNDESERVED!

This idea was so abhorrent to those responding on the forum, the negative feelings were all landing in Rob's lap when Rob was only going to do as directed by management. The initial feelings were that the "now virginal Kodi" was going to be "monsterously defiled by that professional porn star, Rob_Ryder". People were upset with the notion that Rob was going to pop Kodi's innocent, virginal cherry. This misinformed notion didn't sit well with me at first and, likewise, Tampa didn't like management's choice either. We both expressed a preference for CHAD, but definitely not Rob. Then came the fruitless campaign that the only one appropriate and deserving of Kodi's innocence was having CHAD do the honors! When the forum finally realized Rob's pairing with Kodi was having Kodi top Rob instead, this didn't seem nearly as bad to me, to Tampa, and to many others on the forum.

My whole point was we shouldn't automatically assume the worst in Rob or any other model before even seeing the episode. Rob was deserving of being given the benefit of the doubt. I found this negativity towards Rob to be highly unfriendly when Rob hadn't even done anything yet to deserve it. Obviously, Tampa agreed with my viewpoint too. This had all been an innocent mistake but, I cannot imagine how our innocent mistake could not have been taken in any other way besides being rude and unkind to Rob specifically. While writing my response, I was simply trying to put myself in Rob's place and, as a consequence, I felt the necessity for me to apologize to Rob was in order. I did this freely as it was my choice. Then Tampa must have reacted in much the same way as I did. His apology was given freely too, as I certainly did not force Tampa to apologize. Yet repeatedly Tampa's apology was then met with many others all chiming in that no apology was due. They seemed to forget that this apology was not meant for them, only for Rob.

I only meant that we each should strive to exercise greater care in how we respond negatively on the forum so as to avoid recklessly offending or demeaning someone else. Wouldn't this all be a better and more humane place if we cared a little more about others feelings. My message was just that simply! And I found it especially unfortunate and disappointing that Tampa should be told by others he was wrong for making his apology he freely chose to make.

I hope this clears up this issue once and for all. In my worth opinion, I feel those telling Tampa he was wrong to apologize actually owe Tampa an apology themselves for their apparent disrespect.


Sincerely,


Stimpy

 

[Rob_Ryder]

I'm so sorry Rob. I hope you can forgive me. I sincerely look forward to all the future work you do here on the site. I'm glad you're here!

Tampa, You know I can never be angry at you! Especially not about my horrible performance lol.

 

[Rob_Ryder]

He's probably at home, in a deep depression, sobbing over the cruel, mean spirited and harsh criticisims that were flung his way before and after he appeared with Kodi. But worry not, we have someone working on it to draw him out again. Maybe next time he won't be attacked so viciously.

LOL, the funniest thing about all this was that I had no idea people were bashing me on the forum until tonite when I saw people apologizing.

Luckily I wasn't home in a deep depression from all the mean things that were said HAHA

As I always say, "I'm too blessed to be depressed."

 

[tampa24]

Tampa's apology was in direct response to another post I wrote earlier. Tampa merely thanked me for illuminating my concerns over Broke Straight Boys members being so almost universally disinviting to Rob, even before the episode in question had been released. The whole issue revolved around Kodi and Rob being paired together and this had ignited a backlash on the forum against Rob. I THOUGHT THIS BACKLASH WAS UNDESERVED!

Rob was deserving of being given the benefit of the doubt. I found this negativity towards Rob to be highly unfriendly when Rob hadn't even done anything yet to deserve it. Obviously, Tampa agreed with my viewpoint too. This had all been an innocent mistake [Being told erroneously at first that Rob was topping Kodi, among other things] but, I cannot imagine how our innocent mistake could not have been taken in any other way besides being rude and unkind to Rob specifically. While writing my response, I was simply trying to put myself in Rob's place and, as a consequence, I felt the necessity for me to apologize to Rob was in order. I did this freely as it was my choice. Then Tampa must have reacted in much the same way as I did. His apology was given freely too, as I certainly did not force Tampa to apologize. Yet repeatedly Tampa's apology was then met with many others all chiming in that no apology was due. They seemed to forget that this apology was not meant for them, only for Rob.

Well, in fairness I did also apologize to them (members of the forum) for my role in helping create negativity in the forum...when I try to pride myself on doing the opposite as much as possible.

I had even considered making this a "Closed" thread so that nobody could post on it. But my concern was that it would sink to the bottom of the pile too quickly before Rob would have a chance to see it. This was primarily after all my attempt at a very sincere and heartfelt apology to Rob. Rob is a man I have always and still do like, admire and wish only the very best for in life.

You have encapsulated my thoughts pretty succinctly here Stimpy. Thank you!

 

[tampa24]

Thank You Rob!

Tampa, You know I can never be angry at you!

Dearest Rob,

You have no idea how happy that makes me. Thank you so much for being so gracious. XOXO

I do hold out hope that even in your retirement that you might still agree to do some events. At least where I might still have some hope of meeting you in person. But if not, we will always have the brief time that we got to meet here online. And for that I'm blessed and very grateful.

 

[lesit78]

Dear Abe and other inquisitive forumites,

All I was saying was that we all are free to form our own opinions, as did Tampa in this case. Yet, repeatedly, he was being told that "he was wrong for apologizing in his post. He had nothing to apologize over." Evidently, Tampa felt he needed to make this gesture to Rob to reassure Rob was indeed 'd here on Broke Straight Boys making his transition from CDudes. In Tampa's typically diplomatic way, he was expressing an apology "extending an olive branch" for his prior statements. I feel Tampa is over 18 and he should be free to express how he feels about this issue on the forum.

Tampa's apology was in direct response to another post I wrote earlier. Tampa merely thanked me for illuminating my concerns over Broke Straight Boys members being so almost universally disinviting to Rob, even before the episode in question had been released. The whole issue revolved around Kodi and Rob being paired together and this had ignited a backlash on the forum against Rob. I THOUGHT THIS BACKLASH WAS UNDESERVED!

This idea was so abhorrent to those responding on the forum, the negative feelings were all landing in Rob's lap when Rob was only going to do as directed by management. The initial feelings were that the "now virginal Kodi" was going to be "monsterously defiled by that professional porn star, Rob_Ryder". People were upset with the notion that Rob was going to pop Kodi's innocent, virginal cherry. This misinformed notion didn't sit well with me at first and, likewise, Tampa didn't like management's choice either. We both expressed a preference for CHAD, but definitely not Rob. Then came the fruitless campaign that the only one appropriate and deserving of Kodi's innocence was having CHAD do the honors! When the forum finally realized Rob's pairing with Kodi was having Kodi top Rob instead, this didn't seem nearly as bad to me, to Tampa, and to many others on the forum.

My whole point was we shouldn't automatically assume the worst in Rob or any other model before even seeing the episode. Rob was deserving of being given the benefit of the doubt. I found this negativity towards Rob to be highly unfriendly when Rob hadn't even done anything yet to deserve it. Obviously, Tampa agreed with my viewpoint too. This had all been an innocent mistake but, I cannot imagine how our innocent mistake could not have been taken in any other way besides being rude and unkind to Rob specifically. While writing my response, I was simply trying to put myself in Rob's place and, as a consequence, I felt the necessity for me to apologize to Rob was in order. I did this freely as it was my choice. Then Tampa must have reacted in much the same way as I did. His apology was given freely too, as I certainly did not force Tampa to apologize. Yet repeatedly Tampa's apology was then met with many others all chiming in that no apology was due. They seemed to forget that this apology was not meant for them, only for Rob.

I only meant that we each should strive to exercise greater care in how we respond negatively on the forum so as to avoid recklessly offending or demeaning someone else. Wouldn't this all be a better and more humane place if we cared a little more about others feelings. My message was just that simply! And I found it especially unfortunate and disappointing that Tampa should be told by others he was wrong for making his apology he freely chose to make.

I hope this clears up this issue once and for all. In my worth opinion, I feel those telling Tampa he was wrong to apologize actually owe Tampa an apology themselves for their apparent disrespect.


Sincerely,


Stimpy

Well Stimpy, I disagree with you but I'm not going to get into it because you're just as entitled to your opinions as I am to mine. Let's just leave it that Tampa is a wonderful guy who you and I both adore, but I really don't think he needs you to speak for him.

And if anyone is guilty of saying unkind things about Rob, it is me more than anyone. But I tried to usually be diplomatic about it, and lay out why I don't support him coming onto scenes on Broke Straight Boys But just because I have stated I'm not a fan, and have been less than glowing in my thoughts about him as a gay porn model, that's just part of the business and not everyone is going to have 100% of their viewers as a fan. As Mike pointed out, everyone loves Rob other than one person that he knows of (which would be me).

I have always been vocal about both my likes, and dislikes in regards to a particular model, director, the technical aspects of the scene that in my opinion did or did not work, you name it. I am a porn consumer, and know what I like and know what I don't.

Yes of course the models are people and they have feelings, but they're also a brand within a brand, and websites who rely on paying memberships to generate revenue and keep the affiliates happy can also jump the shark just like Happy Days did in the 1970s.

I am very impressed with Tampa's apology, albeit I found that he did nothing wrong I respect and appreciate Tampa's concern for other peoples' feelings and how he wanted to apologize in case he hurt them.

I am also impressed with Rob's apology for his scene with Kodi, while I am not a fan of him as a porn star, I am impressed with it and think it's nice that he reached out to his fans like he did.

But, Stimpy, I don't agree that you are the self-elected speaker of all that people should say, nor do I feel you really should be speaking for others either. But, that's just my opinion and I've said my piece.

I do think you meant well and that you don't always intend to appear supercilious anymore than I do but I know that's sometimes how I come off to people unintentionally. And for that, I can only add my apology to Tampa's!

 

[Ms. Kianna]

Abe, I just adore you..........even when we disagree!

 

[lesit78]

Abe, I just adore you..........even when we disagree!

The feelings are mutual Ms. K!

 

[another1]

Dear Abe and other inquisitive forumites,
Tampa's apology was then met with many others all chiming in that no apology was due. They seemed to forget that this apology was not meant for them, only for Rob.

i post my comment because it was entitled, 'An Open Apology to Rob Ryder, Clay and the Rest of the Forum'.
as someone who hoped to see rob on Broke Straight Boys, tampa and i agreed to disagree on the subject on rob. i thanked him for making it easy to disagree without seeming disagreeable.
if my post offend, i apologize!

 

[lesit78]

i post my comment because it was entitled, 'An Open Apology to Rob Ryder, Clay and the Rest of the Forum'.
as someone who hoped to see rob on Broke Straight Boys, tampa and i agreed to disagree on the subject on rob. i thanked him for making it easy to disagree without seeming disagreeable.
if my post offend, i apologize!

Another1, you are like Tampa in my view, beloved by all here. I don't think you could ever offend anyone, your posts always make a lot of sense and are always kind hearted, and usually funny too!

 

[cumrag27]

Clarification on my intentions

i post my comment because it was entitled, 'An Open Apology to Rob Ryder, Clay and the Rest of the Forum'.
as someone who hoped to see rob on Broke Straight Boys, tampa and i agreed to disagree on the subject on rob. i thanked him for making it easy to disagree without seeming disagreeable.
if my post offend, i apologize!

Dear another1,

I did not mean to single out anyone specifically. Before the release of Rob and Kodi, the forum was filled with many members including me clamoring that CHAD should have been in on "ground zero" when zeroing in on Kodi's sweet and virginal asshole. At that time we all ASSumed mistakenly that Rob was going to top Kodi - the that Kodi represented in our collective minds at the time.

I, like you, had hoped to see Rob on Broke Straight Boys maybe even exceeding the numbers of episodes afforded Jimmy. I did not feel it is possible that I would ever tire of that sweet face and gorgeous body that Rob has. Because I was so entranced and smitten with Rob, I thought to myself how will he interpret the negativity towards him when he was so loved on CDudes. What a culture shock for Rob, I thought and that is why I wrote my hard to swallow for some but well-intentioned post.

I did not feel as if I should be the "thought police" for other Broke Straight Boys members, mostly I just wanted to provide the forum a "wake-up call". But, my goal was just for others to see the other side to all of the negativity hurled at Rob before his first episode was even posted. I found all of this to be extremely unwelcoming to Rob who hadn't even arrived yet! I felt surely someone needed to take a stand on Rob's behalf because I felt all the negativity he received recently on Broke Straight Boys was a horrible way in which to welcome someone like Rob to our Broke Straight Boys mothership and home-away-from-home. I never ever expected nor asked that anybody apologize to me personally. I was merely advocating for our newest model at the time - Rob Ryder.

Another word for this is ADVOCATING on Rob's behalf. What could possible be wrong having this nobel intention?

Sincerely sorry Rob has retired from porn now, without even the benefit of a "retirement party" from all his devoted fans like me!


Stimpy

 

[another1]

all this flows from an understatement in a thumbnail note and a misstatement in other.
friends and foes took sides, with friends taking pot shots at each other, models and management.
i am sorry for the whole misunderstanding and certainly sorry for my own misunderstandings.
i am sorry for the fact that rob on Broke Straight Boys did not work as well as i and others had hoped it would.
i am sad to see rob go. but believe that when one door closes another one opens.
group hug!