Ambivalent
BSB Addict
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2009
- Posts
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Hey, guys,
I well know that this is a super-sensitive subject. And, honestly, I am not raising it to "stir the pot", or be a jerk, or anything of the kind. If there are NO responses to this post, but people just read it and find it helpful, I would be grateful for that. I am only trying to share some personal experiences, and to be helpful, if I can???
In that much-talked about trailer, Damien Kyle said that he has never been sexually attracted to African-American guys: and he has gotten a little bit of flak for saying so. I want to stick UP for Damien, but also suggest that there is a way out of this conundrum, and it isn't the end of the story. (As Paul Harvey always used to say.) In doing so, I am not meaning to hurt anybody's feelings, just to tell a little bit of my personal experience.
I think that it is pretty well-known by now (as attested by psychologists, and sociologists) that, when it comes to attraction and love - - - we gravitate to what we know BEST. Those little "crushes", we get in Grade Two, can be quite formative, for us. Kind of setting the pattern for what we will feel (and want) for many years to come.
I suppose, in the past, I felt quite a lot like Damien Kyle. I grew up in a very small northern farming town. It was not at all racially diverse, and only slightly culturally diverse. My town was populated by English and Scots people; and Russian, Ukrainian, Polish, and Hungarian people; and a smattering of French-Canadians. So, I guess it is not surprising that my earliest "crushes" were on little French and Eastern-European boys. (And even THAT was sort of a taboo, back then - because, as my Dear Old Dad would tell you, in those days, it was thought to be a total SCANDAL, if an English or Scottish boy, married a Ukrainian girl. . . but in his generation, it did start to happen - usually, with happy results.)
But, for sure, I guess until I was 16 and went to university, I never even MET an African-Canadian person, an Asian-Canadian person, or a Jewish-Canadian person. There just WERE none, where I grew up. (Even in the town where I went to university - it was so WASP, back then ~ it has changed a lot now ~ when my favourite political science professor had his sons bar mitzvah'd, there: it was the first bar mitzvah that was held in that city, in 50 years.)
And, I guess, when I was in my 20's and even early 30's, I guess I was just like Damien Kyle is now, and I thought - no, I'd never be attracted to someone who is African-Canadian, or Asian-Canadian. It just didn't float my kayak, and, as we all know, there is absolutely nothing RATIONAL about sexual attraction. (Not that I was anyone to be judging anyone ~ 'cause I am NO Justin Chatwin, myself, you know ;-)))
What I WOULD SAY, and maybe this will happen to, and for, Damien Kyle as well - though it doesn't matter if it does, or doesn't, because sexual attraction (and love) is everyone's very own PERSONAL BUSINESS: and as long as you are kind and decent to everyone in your life (no matter whom you wish to SLEEP WITH): it's all good, I think. . . .
But, for me, in my later 20's and 30's, having moved to a much larger city, and having had the chance to get to KNOW and LIKE and APPRECIATE some really sweet and nice African-Canadian, Asian-Canadian, and Aboriginal-Canadian guys. . . I started to think and feel (genuinely, and I mean in my PANTS): "HEY, these guys are INCREDIBLY SEXY!")
*This is maybe my MOST embarrassing secret, but I think Tampa will get a laugh out of it, anyway. . . about 15 years back, I landed up in hospital with a rectus sheath hematoma (which is the most exquisitely painful thing one could possibly imagine): and there was this gorgeous, statuesque, Asian-Canadian guy taking care of me. . . and he was so sweet, and he was BEAUTIFUL. After I got out of the hospital, I sent him a card and a VERY lovely gift, because I was sort of hoping he might respond. . . but he never DID. Damn it. I suppose medical ethics prevent such things - not to mention, he saw me at my LEAST glamorous moment, swollen and bruised, and not particularly fragrant, at that;-)))*
At this point in my life, though, I would have to say that I feel blessed to have a much wider appreciation of male beauty, from all sorts of backgrounds, ethnicities, and cultures, than I ever would have believed possible, with my narrow perspective, as a 24-year-old, from a tiny, insular, arctic farming village.
For sure, maybe when I was 24, I would have said, like Damien Kyle did, "I am just never sexually attracted to Black guys." I wouldn't say that, anymore. Our Kaden Alexander - who is so sweet and charming - is one example why that's true. And, when I saw Friday Night Lights ~ I totally fell in LOVE with Michael B. Jordan: he is SOOOO CUTE, and SOOO SEXY, and such a great actor, I just fell head-over-heels with him ;-) (To a lesser extent, the same is true of Nick Cannon - he isn't such the great talent MBJ is, I think. . . but he's pretty damned cute, nonetheless!!!)
So, anyway, I hope that people will realize that: #1) Attraction is, to some large extent, a function of experience and environment: and people develop their attractions from their earliest experiences. #2) Attraction is, to some extent, fluid, and, if you have positive experiences with people who don't look like the people you were initially attracted to. . . your REALM of attraction can GROW - and I think that's POSITIVE - because you might just meet someone kind and loving and wonderful, you might never have thought to meet, and love, before. And: #3) Damien Kyle is a youngster, and maybe his attractions will change and grow in scope over the years, but, that's his business. Even if they don't, as long as he is nice and kind to everyone, it's all GOOD.
That's all I have to say on this subject, except that - I would LOVE to give Michael B. Jordan a hug, someday!!! LOL!!!
Yours from the arctic,
"A" XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
![MBJ 001.jpg MBJ 001.jpg](https://discussions.brokestraightboys.com/data/attachments/10/10270-05507a434257be9087191587d01e3c53.jpg)
![MBJ 002.jpg MBJ 002.jpg](https://discussions.brokestraightboys.com/data/attachments/10/10271-0e8a1e24835e81a6df6827e089528fa5.jpg)
![MBJ 003.jpg MBJ 003.jpg](https://discussions.brokestraightboys.com/data/attachments/10/10272-7f944d6e5b489dcb6f3fb2e4212a5ffa.jpg)
![MBJ 004.jpg MBJ 004.jpg](https://discussions.brokestraightboys.com/data/attachments/10/10273-e55e17e19404cd1ae601109d6033594c.jpg)
![MBJ 005.jpg MBJ 005.jpg](https://discussions.brokestraightboys.com/data/attachments/10/10274-56e97ab5e16dec211f1ceae9eb2744e6.jpg)
I well know that this is a super-sensitive subject. And, honestly, I am not raising it to "stir the pot", or be a jerk, or anything of the kind. If there are NO responses to this post, but people just read it and find it helpful, I would be grateful for that. I am only trying to share some personal experiences, and to be helpful, if I can???
In that much-talked about trailer, Damien Kyle said that he has never been sexually attracted to African-American guys: and he has gotten a little bit of flak for saying so. I want to stick UP for Damien, but also suggest that there is a way out of this conundrum, and it isn't the end of the story. (As Paul Harvey always used to say.) In doing so, I am not meaning to hurt anybody's feelings, just to tell a little bit of my personal experience.
I think that it is pretty well-known by now (as attested by psychologists, and sociologists) that, when it comes to attraction and love - - - we gravitate to what we know BEST. Those little "crushes", we get in Grade Two, can be quite formative, for us. Kind of setting the pattern for what we will feel (and want) for many years to come.
I suppose, in the past, I felt quite a lot like Damien Kyle. I grew up in a very small northern farming town. It was not at all racially diverse, and only slightly culturally diverse. My town was populated by English and Scots people; and Russian, Ukrainian, Polish, and Hungarian people; and a smattering of French-Canadians. So, I guess it is not surprising that my earliest "crushes" were on little French and Eastern-European boys. (And even THAT was sort of a taboo, back then - because, as my Dear Old Dad would tell you, in those days, it was thought to be a total SCANDAL, if an English or Scottish boy, married a Ukrainian girl. . . but in his generation, it did start to happen - usually, with happy results.)
But, for sure, I guess until I was 16 and went to university, I never even MET an African-Canadian person, an Asian-Canadian person, or a Jewish-Canadian person. There just WERE none, where I grew up. (Even in the town where I went to university - it was so WASP, back then ~ it has changed a lot now ~ when my favourite political science professor had his sons bar mitzvah'd, there: it was the first bar mitzvah that was held in that city, in 50 years.)
And, I guess, when I was in my 20's and even early 30's, I guess I was just like Damien Kyle is now, and I thought - no, I'd never be attracted to someone who is African-Canadian, or Asian-Canadian. It just didn't float my kayak, and, as we all know, there is absolutely nothing RATIONAL about sexual attraction. (Not that I was anyone to be judging anyone ~ 'cause I am NO Justin Chatwin, myself, you know ;-)))
What I WOULD SAY, and maybe this will happen to, and for, Damien Kyle as well - though it doesn't matter if it does, or doesn't, because sexual attraction (and love) is everyone's very own PERSONAL BUSINESS: and as long as you are kind and decent to everyone in your life (no matter whom you wish to SLEEP WITH): it's all good, I think. . . .
But, for me, in my later 20's and 30's, having moved to a much larger city, and having had the chance to get to KNOW and LIKE and APPRECIATE some really sweet and nice African-Canadian, Asian-Canadian, and Aboriginal-Canadian guys. . . I started to think and feel (genuinely, and I mean in my PANTS): "HEY, these guys are INCREDIBLY SEXY!")
*This is maybe my MOST embarrassing secret, but I think Tampa will get a laugh out of it, anyway. . . about 15 years back, I landed up in hospital with a rectus sheath hematoma (which is the most exquisitely painful thing one could possibly imagine): and there was this gorgeous, statuesque, Asian-Canadian guy taking care of me. . . and he was so sweet, and he was BEAUTIFUL. After I got out of the hospital, I sent him a card and a VERY lovely gift, because I was sort of hoping he might respond. . . but he never DID. Damn it. I suppose medical ethics prevent such things - not to mention, he saw me at my LEAST glamorous moment, swollen and bruised, and not particularly fragrant, at that;-)))*
At this point in my life, though, I would have to say that I feel blessed to have a much wider appreciation of male beauty, from all sorts of backgrounds, ethnicities, and cultures, than I ever would have believed possible, with my narrow perspective, as a 24-year-old, from a tiny, insular, arctic farming village.
For sure, maybe when I was 24, I would have said, like Damien Kyle did, "I am just never sexually attracted to Black guys." I wouldn't say that, anymore. Our Kaden Alexander - who is so sweet and charming - is one example why that's true. And, when I saw Friday Night Lights ~ I totally fell in LOVE with Michael B. Jordan: he is SOOOO CUTE, and SOOO SEXY, and such a great actor, I just fell head-over-heels with him ;-) (To a lesser extent, the same is true of Nick Cannon - he isn't such the great talent MBJ is, I think. . . but he's pretty damned cute, nonetheless!!!)
So, anyway, I hope that people will realize that: #1) Attraction is, to some large extent, a function of experience and environment: and people develop their attractions from their earliest experiences. #2) Attraction is, to some extent, fluid, and, if you have positive experiences with people who don't look like the people you were initially attracted to. . . your REALM of attraction can GROW - and I think that's POSITIVE - because you might just meet someone kind and loving and wonderful, you might never have thought to meet, and love, before. And: #3) Damien Kyle is a youngster, and maybe his attractions will change and grow in scope over the years, but, that's his business. Even if they don't, as long as he is nice and kind to everyone, it's all GOOD.
That's all I have to say on this subject, except that - I would LOVE to give Michael B. Jordan a hug, someday!!! LOL!!!
Yours from the arctic,
"A" XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
![MBJ 001.jpg MBJ 001.jpg](https://discussions.brokestraightboys.com/data/attachments/10/10270-05507a434257be9087191587d01e3c53.jpg)
![MBJ 002.jpg MBJ 002.jpg](https://discussions.brokestraightboys.com/data/attachments/10/10271-0e8a1e24835e81a6df6827e089528fa5.jpg)
![MBJ 003.jpg MBJ 003.jpg](https://discussions.brokestraightboys.com/data/attachments/10/10272-7f944d6e5b489dcb6f3fb2e4212a5ffa.jpg)
![MBJ 004.jpg MBJ 004.jpg](https://discussions.brokestraightboys.com/data/attachments/10/10273-e55e17e19404cd1ae601109d6033594c.jpg)
![MBJ 005.jpg MBJ 005.jpg](https://discussions.brokestraightboys.com/data/attachments/10/10274-56e97ab5e16dec211f1ceae9eb2744e6.jpg)