About race, and sexual attraction (serious, respectful, and hearfelt thread)

[Ambivalent]

Hey, guys,

I well know that this is a super-sensitive subject. And, honestly, I am not raising it to "stir the pot", or be a jerk, or anything of the kind. If there are NO responses to this post, but people just read it and find it helpful, I would be grateful for that. I am only trying to share some personal experiences, and to be helpful, if I can???

In that much-talked about trailer, Damien Kyle said that he has never been sexually attracted to African-American guys: and he has gotten a little bit of flak for saying so. I want to stick UP for Damien, but also suggest that there is a way out of this conundrum, and it isn't the end of the story. (As Paul Harvey always used to say.) In doing so, I am not meaning to hurt anybody's feelings, just to tell a little bit of my personal experience.

I think that it is pretty well-known by now (as attested by psychologists, and sociologists) that, when it comes to attraction and love - - - we gravitate to what we know BEST. Those little "crushes", we get in Grade Two, can be quite formative, for us. Kind of setting the pattern for what we will feel (and want) for many years to come.

I suppose, in the past, I felt quite a lot like Damien Kyle. I grew up in a very small northern farming town. It was not at all racially diverse, and only slightly culturally diverse. My town was populated by English and Scots people; and Russian, Ukrainian, Polish, and Hungarian people; and a smattering of French-Canadians. So, I guess it is not surprising that my earliest "crushes" were on little French and Eastern-European boys. (And even THAT was sort of a taboo, back then - because, as my Dear Old Dad would tell you, in those days, it was thought to be a total SCANDAL, if an English or Scottish boy, married a Ukrainian girl. . . but in his generation, it did start to happen - usually, with happy results.)

But, for sure, I guess until I was 16 and went to university, I never even MET an African-Canadian person, an Asian-Canadian person, or a Jewish-Canadian person. There just WERE none, where I grew up. (Even in the town where I went to university - it was so WASP, back then ~ it has changed a lot now ~ when my favourite political science professor had his sons bar mitzvah'd, there: it was the first bar mitzvah that was held in that city, in 50 years.)

And, I guess, when I was in my 20's and even early 30's, I guess I was just like Damien Kyle is now, and I thought - no, I'd never be attracted to someone who is African-Canadian, or Asian-Canadian. It just didn't float my kayak, and, as we all know, there is absolutely nothing RATIONAL about sexual attraction. (Not that I was anyone to be judging anyone ~ 'cause I am NO Justin Chatwin, myself, you know ;-)))

What I WOULD SAY, and maybe this will happen to, and for, Damien Kyle as well - though it doesn't matter if it does, or doesn't, because sexual attraction (and love) is everyone's very own PERSONAL BUSINESS: and as long as you are kind and decent to everyone in your life (no matter whom you wish to SLEEP WITH): it's all good, I think. . . .

But, for me, in my later 20's and 30's, having moved to a much larger city, and having had the chance to get to KNOW and LIKE and APPRECIATE some really sweet and nice African-Canadian, Asian-Canadian, and Aboriginal-Canadian guys. . . I started to think and feel (genuinely, and I mean in my PANTS): "HEY, these guys are INCREDIBLY SEXY!")

*This is maybe my MOST embarrassing secret, but I think Tampa will get a laugh out of it, anyway. . . about 15 years back, I landed up in hospital with a rectus sheath hematoma (which is the most exquisitely painful thing one could possibly imagine): and there was this gorgeous, statuesque, Asian-Canadian guy taking care of me. . . and he was so sweet, and he was BEAUTIFUL. After I got out of the hospital, I sent him a card and a VERY lovely gift, because I was sort of hoping he might respond. . . but he never DID. Damn it. I suppose medical ethics prevent such things - not to mention, he saw me at my LEAST glamorous moment, swollen and bruised, and not particularly fragrant, at that;-)))*

At this point in my life, though, I would have to say that I feel blessed to have a much wider appreciation of male beauty, from all sorts of backgrounds, ethnicities, and cultures, than I ever would have believed possible, with my narrow perspective, as a 24-year-old, from a tiny, insular, arctic farming village.

For sure, maybe when I was 24, I would have said, like Damien Kyle did, "I am just never sexually attracted to Black guys." I wouldn't say that, anymore. Our Kaden Alexander - who is so sweet and charming - is one example why that's true. And, when I saw Friday Night Lights ~ I totally fell in LOVE with Michael B. Jordan: he is SOOOO CUTE, and SOOO SEXY, and such a great actor, I just fell head-over-heels with him ;-) (To a lesser extent, the same is true of Nick Cannon - he isn't such the great talent MBJ is, I think. . . but he's pretty damned cute, nonetheless!!!)

So, anyway, I hope that people will realize that: #1) Attraction is, to some large extent, a function of experience and environment: and people develop their attractions from their earliest experiences. #2) Attraction is, to some extent, fluid, and, if you have positive experiences with people who don't look like the people you were initially attracted to. . . your REALM of attraction can GROW - and I think that's POSITIVE - because you might just meet someone kind and loving and wonderful, you might never have thought to meet, and love, before. And: #3) Damien Kyle is a youngster, and maybe his attractions will change and grow in scope over the years, but, that's his business. Even if they don't, as long as he is nice and kind to everyone, it's all GOOD.

That's all I have to say on this subject, except that - I would LOVE to give Michael B. Jordan a hug, someday!!! LOL!!!

Yours from the arctic,
"A" XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

 

[Ambivalent]

P.S.

I keep putting typo's into the headings - but I've learned there is no remedy for that, except. . . BIFOCALS. *SIGH*

"A" ;-)

 

[betudidntknow]

It's kind of the "elephant in the room" isn't it? I am glad that Damien Kyle is, and always been an honest person. That is one of the qualities about him I respect and admire. He takes a lot of shit for saying what he feels.

I am a black man who's never been sexually attracted to other black guys. Doesn't mean that I don't admire the good looks and same attractive qualities I see in any other persons.

As a young boy, I stayed with my mother's family, great grandmother, grandmother, uncle, aunt and many cousins all in one house. This was in South Carolina during the early sixties. I wasn't even sexually developed yet, but for some reason, I knew I liked boys!

While living there as a boy of about 5 years old, I was sexually molested by a great uncle (a brother of my grandmother). I learned very quickly that wasn't something talked about and how the family dealt with such goings on.....well let's just say I suppressed any feelings for boys that I may have "thought I had" while living among all of these people and the mindset that prevailed in the South during the early sixties.

I returned to my parents now moved to another state. One of predominately white people. In fact, I was one of three black families in my school. One of the other families became like a second family to me. The only boy in that family was like a younger brother to me.

Long story short, I developed sexually and always saw other black men as my "relative" and incest is not something that I subscribe to! I really am not attracted sexually to other black guys for different reasons than some people, but I am not. I find black guys nice looking in much the same way I find other guys nice looking. Either they are to me, or their not! I love Pharrell Williams! I think he's really physically attractive and has a great butt! Kaden Alexander, one of the nicest looking guys on the site! This guy pictured here is what I would consider attractive! But, sexually.....just not my type!

So, it's different things that make us attracted to or not attracted to other people. When there is an ethnicity involved, and it's usually black guys, I think it needs to have a dialogue sometimes. I unfortunately, felt very strongly that, Kaden Alexander didn't get the kind of love and admiration for a model, that he had deserved....a long time ago! It wasn't until his BTS that people started talking nice things about him. He's been on this site for a while! I always thought it was because he was black myself, (elephant in the room) and no one was willing to address it openly.. Hopefully, we've moved beyond that.

Thanks for starting this Thread Ambi!

 

[Ambivalent]

Hey, Betu,

You're right - this question about race/ethnicity/attraction is an "elephant in the room", and has been ever since I started watching gay videos, or posting on gay sites. (Which is getting to be over a decade ago.)

My purpose in posting this was (and is) not to stir things up; or to make anyone feel bad about his or her own personal attractions. Because those are mostly forged in childhood and early youth - and for the most part (for most gay men I know, anyway) they are pretty stable, and unchanging.

Betu, what I simply wanted to share is that:
*I understand why Damien Kyle said what he said. (Though maybe I wouldn't have expressed it, in quite the same way, at that time and place?)
*Probably I would have thought ~ though not SAID ~ the same thing, when I was in my early 20's.
*I am kind of HAPPY about the twists and turns my life has taken, because. . . as I told you above, I have since discovered Black, and Asian, and North American Aboriginal guys, who totally inspire me erotically (as well as emotionally): and so I have discovered that my emotional/erotic palette is a lot bigger than it used to be! (And I am being honest, about this.)
*That has happened to me, over a long, long, period of time. Other people - - - will have different experiences: and that's OK.

Betu, I just wanted to get it out there, that Damien Kyle is not to blame for liking what he likes, sexually, at this (or any) point in his life. Nor is any other model, or member!

But, by the same token, it is VERY IMPORTANT for all our members and models to know that, they are GOING to be HUGELY ATTRACTIVE and LOVABLE, for some special person who cares about them! And I know that this has sometimes been a huge struggle for gay men of colour, existing in a gay culture which is VERY Euro-centric, and in which they get stereotyped or marginalized, and don't get the CHANCE to be seen as beautiful, or lovable.

Though it might be risible to you and others, I feel I have kind of experienced some of this (to a much lesser extent) in my own life, because I'm a fat old BEAR. (I look EXACTLY like Winston Churchill, and that's why I use him as my icon!!!) And when I was younger, I was a FAT YOUNG BEAR - LOL!!!

For many, many years, Betu, I felt like a second- or third-class citizen in the gay community, because my body-type and shape didn't conform to anything ANYONE wanted. I got dumped several times, because the b/f said, "Well, you're SO NICE - but just not SEXY enough for me." In those days, I often told people, as a fat gay man, I have more in common with a fat straight man, than with any gay man I know!" (And, it was ALMOST true!)

And when I was younger, as I have probably told you - I got refused entry to a couple of gay clubs, because the doormen said to me: "You don't really look GAY, to ME!" (When I finally got into a gay club, because I was soooo curious - though that is a phase long behind me; I think those places are mostly DEAD-ENDS - a nice drag-queen came up to me and said, "Well, young man, we've placed a BET - back at our table, over there - as to whether you're a LAPSED PRIEST, or a NARC - which is it???" LOL!!! (Of course, I was neither!)

But I sort of get what it feels like to be EXCLUDED, and I mean TOTALLY excluded, from the 'gay community'. (One of my heroes, Quentin Crisp, famously said, about the 'gay community', "There IS no such happy confederacy - amongst homosexuals, it's every man for himself!")

For the longest time, I thought that was completely true, Betu. But thanks to my interactions here, and on another site I was active on years ago, where I met a great many kind Europeans (who were amazed to discover that any North American had actually read a BOOK): I've found out that great friendships amongst gay people ARE possible - despite the sometimes predatory and nasty nature of our "community."

But. . . . because of my life's experiences. . . and I guess, because I have been rejected so much, in the past, I am pretty sympathetic to all the wonderful, incredibly BEAUTIFUL, Black and Asian and Native American gay guys out there who are reaching out for love, and partnership - - - but who find it SO HARD, because, even though they are ALL MORE BEAUTIFUL than I am. . . they are swimming in a sea in North America, where cute white guys won't give them a second look. . . :-(((

That's the experience that people have, which made Damien Kyle's remarks (which weren't meant to be hurtful) sting so much. And of course it's also the issue that leads to endless controversy on all kinds of sites, about whether they are hiring enough (or any) models who aren't of some kind of European background.

My only message, is this:
*Yes, we all have the 'types' we like, and we don't have a lot of control, over that.
*But, if you open your heart and mind, sometimes the 'types' you like, can GROW, and EXPAND - as you get to know and appreciate people for who they are, inside.
*And. . . I think. . . opening up your eyes and hearts to different kinds of beauty in the world, is really a worthwhile thing to DO. I really believe this.

I feel that I got lucky, in the lottery of life, because Mr. K. (who is more beautiful than ANY model on this site, even Jason Matthews) took some time to look INSIDE MY HEART, and to get to know me. I bet if he had passed me on the street, five years ago (we met on November 2, 2010): he wouldn't have given me a second glance. I was (and am) SO undeserving of his beauty, and kindness, but. . . there it is.

So, all the MORE, I just want ALL the cute gay African-American, Asian-American, and First Nations American boys out there, who are feeling sad because so many people are overlooking them, to know. . . that they are beautiful and lovable, too. . . and that if they hang in there, their Prince will come, as well.

That's all I really wanted to say. And thank you for your story, Betu, I really appreciated your sharing all those personal things, that you did. It was really meaningful, to me.

"A" XOXOXOXOXOXO

P.S. Here are some Quentin Crisp clips, for you, Betu (XOXOXOXO):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f80xVzE9aeg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8wEDRt20mI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVU0ggZMY98

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=On-dap7UHO8

 

[Kylebrand]

Having grown up in integrated schools and neighborhoods until age 14 in NE Ohio, we moved to South FL and for the first time I saw signs on doors, such as "colored entrance in back," and "colored water fountain", "colored restroom", etc. What an education I received overnight. My values had already been formed regarding race. I believe the Soul is the same in all living creatures although the body of each is different. That applies to two legged and four legged as well. If your God is telling you to hate any group of people, you're listening to the wrong voice in your head.
May all beings be enlightened.

 

[tampa24]

Thanks for starting this Thread Ambi!

I find this conversation quite fascinating. I'm so glad we can discuss things like the "elephant in the room" without setting the whole house on fire. Thank you Ambi and Betu!

 

[Ambivalent]

Having grown up in integrated schools and neighborhoods until age 14 in NE Ohio, we moved to South FL and for the first time I saw signs on doors, such as "colored entrance in back," and "colored water fountain", "colored restroom", etc. What an education I received overnight. My values had already been formed regarding race. I believe the Soul is the same in all living creatures although the body of each is different. That applies to two legged and four legged as well. If your God is telling you to hate any group of people, you're listening to the wrong voice in your head.
May all beings be enlightened.

***********************************

Kisses, Kyle . . .

God loves everybody, and so should we.

Love,
"A" XOXOXOXOXO

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8AeV8Jbx6M

 

[Ambivalent]

I find this conversation quite fascinating. I'm so glad we can discuss things like the "elephant in the room" without setting the whole house on fire. Thank you Ambi and Betu!

***************************

Tampa, it's a measure of this board, and the people on it, that we can have a measured discussion of issues that trouble people, the world over, and listen to each other, and learn from each other. And I am glad for all the friends here, who help me learn, and grow a bit, as a human being - old and silly and stubborn, as I am!

"A" XOXOXOXOXO

 

[another1]

from the second time I tried sushi, I knew I didn't like sushi. for 30 years I would tell people that I preferred fried ants to sushi.
a few years ago, an old friend came to visit with his new wife. she wanted sushi. I wanted to die. we went to a sushi place and ordered something. whatever it was did not look right to her and we left. I called my best buddy, who knows all things good. he told me his favorite sushi place and off we went. after a few bites, I realized i had never had good or great sushi and that colored my opinion.


off to breakfast!

 

[Ambivalent]

from the second time I tried sushi, I knew I didn't like sushi. for 30 years I would tell people that I preferred fried ants to sushi.
a few years ago, an old friend came to visit with his new wife. she wanted sushi. I wanted to die. we went to a sushi place and ordered something. whatever it was did not look right to her and we left. I called my best buddy, who knows all things good. he told me his favorite sushi place and off we went. after a few bites, I realized i had never had good or great sushi and that colored my opinion.

****************************

LOL, Another1. . . .

With just that hilarious short story, you make a SUPERB point ;-)

When it comes to love, I draw this conclusion. We are ALL INDIVIDUALS. Each one of us is absolutely unique. And to put people in categories, and close yourself off from affection and love because of those categories. . . is a waste, a tragedy, and (potentially) a big misfortune.

The lover you always wanted and needed, might be right around the corner, if you only open your eyes, and open your heart.

Hugs,
"A" XOXOXOXOXOXO

"Where is love?", Oliver ~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjJDekSculo

 

[bobbity]

I grew up in a very similar situation as you Ambi. There just wasn't a whole lot of diversity around growing up where I did, but I turned out the complete opposite. I find I'm more attracted to men/women with darker complexions. No rhyme or reason to it. It's just what I find to be more sexually attractive. I don't think it's racist or exclusionary to say, 'oh hey, I find this certain type of person more attractive', as long as you treat everyone with the basic human respect they deserve. I'm glad you were able to bring up such a touchy subject in a very classy and non-offending way, Ambi. ^.^

 

[BenBen]

Some people exclude other people as friends or sexual partners because of race but even though they exclude them it does not mean they are not sexually attracted to them. In some countries you're sexually excluded because of your religion or sect or your station in life even if you are the same race and the people who cross those lines are looked down, punished, driven out, tortured and even killed.

Perhaps some people are sexually attracted to "What they are used to" but many people are sexually attracted to opposites. I find blonde hair and blue eyes very sexually attractive and I had brown hair and have brown eyes. I have also found men with darker skin tones very attractive I believe I find darker skin more attractive because I have always been very pale and I never liked my fish belly white skin. I didn't really appreciate it until I met men who are attracted to men who do have very pale skin. My one exception is I find pale red heads quite attractive.

I grew up in a small north central town in Wisconsin, the town I lived in was mostly German with a few Irish thrown in here and there. I did not talk to nor see an African American up close until I moved to Milwaukee for school. I did have the chance to see Mexican guys when the the migrant workers came through in the summer to pick cabbage and WOW! When I saw the Mexican men coming to town on their day off, they were dressed up in cowboy boots tight jeans tight western shirts that were unbuttoned nearly down to their navel and a sexy cowboy hat. They had this swagger and just oozed sex. I looked at their tight round little butts and their big bulges highlighted by a big shiny belt buckle and all I could think of was what they looked like naked.

I don't really find men from the Philippines and Thailand sexually attractive because they often seem very small, delicate and fey to me. I am not attracted to men who seem more feminine. Yes there are men from these areas who are masculine but they also have a more boy look appearance and look much younger than they actually are that is also a turn off for me. I want to be with a man not a boy. I am also not attracted to drag queens or "guys with style" if you may. These guys can be a lot of fun to be around and can be great friends but nothing sexual is going to happen well unless it's a quickie in the bathroom or back alley after tipping a few. There was a time when I enjoyed the drink too much and as long as you didn't have a vagina I was up for a tumble.

Many things affect our sexual attraction but I don't believe racism is a factor, racism is about exclusion not about sex. I wish I could only have sex with guys who were uncut and I would if that option were more available where I live. I can honestly say some of my best friends are cut. I don't have a prejudice against cut dick I have a strong desire for uncut dick.

 

[Ambivalent]

I grew up in a very similar situation as you Ambi. There just wasn't a whole lot of diversity around growing up where I did, but I turned out the complete opposite. I find I'm more attracted to men/women with darker complexions. No rhyme or reason to it. It's just what I find to be more sexually attractive. I don't think it's racist or exclusionary to say, 'oh hey, I find this certain type of person more attractive', as long as you treat everyone with the basic human respect they deserve. I'm glad you were able to bring up such a touchy subject in a very classy and non-offending way, Ambi. ^.^

*********************
Hugs, Bobbity:

I totally agree with you. When it comes to people we're deeply attracted to - enough to want to kiss, and love, and LIVE WITH - those kinds of attractions are very primal, and deep within us, and that's a fact.

The key thing is that we all realize - - - the very person who is not maybe attractive to US (like my Asian nurse wasn't attracted to ME) might very well be the MOST ATTRACTIVE PERSON ON EARTH, to someone else. (And thank God, though I wasn't attractive to 99 per cent of the gay guys I ever met, I found the ONE GUY, who thought I was beautiful.)

You're totally right, Bobbity - this is all about realizing that, while we all have different backgrounds, and different looks, and different tastes, and different NEEDS, physically and emotionally. . . we are ALL kind of in the same struggle, together, here. And, if we can support each other as friends, in all of that - it makes life a whole lot better.

"A" XOXOXOXOXO

 

[Ambivalent]

Some people exclude other people as friends or sexual partners because of race but even though they exclude them it does not mean they are not sexually attracted to them. In some countries you're sexually excluded because of your religion or sect or your station in life even if you are the same race and the people who cross those lines are looked down, punished, driven out, tortured and even killed.

Perhaps some people are sexually attracted to "What they are used to" but many people are sexually attracted to opposites. I find blonde hair and blue eyes very sexually attractive and I had brown hair and have brown eyes. I have also found men with darker skin tones very attractive I believe I find darker skin more attractive because I have always been very pale and I never liked my fish belly white skin. I didn't really appreciate it until I met men who are attracted to men who do have very pale skin. My one exception is I find pale red heads quite attractive.

I grew up in a small north central town in Wisconsin, the town I lived in was mostly German with a few Irish thrown in here and there. I did not talk to nor see an African American up close until I moved to Milwaukee for school. I did have the chance to see Mexican guys when the the migrant workers came through in the summer to pick cabbage and WOW! When I saw the Mexican men coming to town on their day off, they were dressed up in cowboy boots tight jeans tight western shirts that were unbuttoned nearly down to their navel and a sexy cowboy hat. They had this swagger and just oozed sex. I looked at their tight round little butts and their big bulges highlighted by a big shiny belt buckle and all I could think of was what they looked like naked.

I don't really find men from the Philippines and Thailand sexually attractive because they often seem very small, delicate and fey to me. I am not attracted to men who seem more feminine. Yes there are men from these areas who are masculine but they also have a more boy look appearance and look much younger than they actually are that is also a turn off for me. I want to be with a man not a boy. I am also not attracted to drag queens or "guys with style" if you may. These guys can be a lot of fun to be around and can be great friends but nothing sexual is going to happen well unless it's a quickie in the bathroom or back alley after tipping a few. There was a time when I enjoyed the drink too much and as long as you didn't have a vagina I was up for a tumble.

Many things affect our sexual attraction but I don't believe racism is a factor, racism is about exclusion not about sex. I wish I could only have sex with guys who were uncut and I would if that option were more available where I live. I can honestly say some of my best friends are cut. I don't have a prejudice against cut dick I have a strong desire for uncut dick.

************************************

Hey, BenBen ~

You make a lot of interesting points - your post is kind of like a kaleidoscope, and I don't think I will be able to cover HALF the things you spoke about. But I will try to touch upon a couple.

BenBen, I hope it is clear that I was not meaning to suggest that people deliberately exclude other people as lovers or partners, because of racism. I think, in this day and age, at least in most civilized countries, that's pretty rare.

What I was suggesting ~ or at least questioning ~ is that (in my experience, anyway) sometimes people's erotic preferences are set very early in life, and often are conditioned by early experiences. . . and sometimes, people close themselves OFF, to the beauty of people of ethnic or cultural groups which are unfamiliar, to them.

For the most part, this is just every individual's personal business. The only reason it matters at ALL, is because, on a board where we are constantly talking about people's looks, and sexual attractiveness (which is fair, because it's a gay, erotic, site!) - it sometimes happens that some people aren't appreciated for their beauty, as they ought to be. . . even THOUGH they are very beautiful! Because perhaps they are in a smaller ethnic group, to which the majority (maybe a SLIM majority) of people haven't had much exposure. . . or, the youthful "crushes" which would lead, frankly, to physical appreciation.

Now, you saw those cute Mexican guys, when you were young - and that's exactly my point. While they were very different from you, in terms of culture, and LOOKS - you got to see them, and dream about them, when you were a little younger than you are, now. (Same goes for me, in terms of the Russian/Polish/Hungarian boys, I grew up with.)

I think you raise an excellent point, though, about opposites "attracting". And I think there may well be evolutionary and biological reasons, for that. My sisters and I are all blond(e), and pale - and not one of us has EVER dated a blond man. Or wanted to! Some sociobiologists - though I offer this with the greatest caution - suggest that what YOU SAY, BenBen, about opposites attracting,
[/I]might[/I] have roots in some primal urge to preserve the health and diversity of the species. While I think the evidence on this file is far from conclusive, I do think it's an hypothesis worthy of investigation.

As far as preferring men who are slight and slender, or big and masculine; or men who are a little more effeminate, or very tough and strong; or circumcised or uncircumcised - - - amongst my gay friends (and I am not a mathematician): I've seen every variation, in sundry combinations, upon these themes. Some of it may have biological roots, but I suspect a lot of it is cultural, or at least, habitual, and the product of time, chance, and circumstance. (For sure, when I was a kid, never having SEEN a man with an 'uncut' penis, I thought uncircumcised penises looked outlandish, and weird. . . and believe it or not, I have a dear French-Canadian friend, who WAS an erotic video-star, who still feels that way, about uncut cocks!!! As for me, Ion Davidov cured me of THAT apprehension ;-)

But, no matter, no matter, BenBen! That wasn't my point, in raising all of this. My point was ONLY that, sometimes, because of our familiar experiences - we don't always open ourselves to other experiences, and other people. And that, while that in itself isn't a problem. . . if we express our sexual tastes as ABSOLUTES. . . we do sometimes run the risk of discouraging nice people who don't "fit in" to the categories of beauty that we have devised. . . and that's not entirely a good thing.

That was the whole point, BenBen.

"A" XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

P.S. If I can get then through, here are a couple of nice "uncut" photos, for you. (With apologies to those who have seen them, before.)

 

[joninliverton]

Shallow as it may seem, I tend to go for guys of Caucasian race only. I am probably losing out on some really nice coloured and Asian guys personality wise, but there has to be an initial attraction.

 

[tyler25il]

Personally, I appreciate Damien Kyle's openness. Had he said that he was not attracted to white people with red hair, nobody would have blinked an eye. He didnt say, I dont associate or respect African-Americans. Our society is too sensitive, this is pretty much a non-story

 

[IggyPop]

The world is full of different people with many different tastes when it comes to sexuality. However, it seems the PC police have been out in full force whenever someone offers an opinion they don't agree with. They even demand those who disagree with gay marriage be fired from their jobs. Again, this is an opinion they are stating and they are entitled to it no matter what the others may think of it.

So some don't think black males are sexy. I generally am not attracted to them, however there are a few I have met who are downright sexy. I have seen a few at the gym when I was in the military who made my mouth water. So I can't say I'm not attracted to black men again.

To those who only like blond males: More power to you! Don't kowtow to anyone else or try to apologize for your views and attractions. Too many have lost their jobs over saying stupid things. We are starting to make this world a very political place and enforce tolerance in private thoughts and opinions. That is one scary place that I don't want to live in.

As a community, we were always about diversity. It is time we really look at ourselves when it comes to opinions and views we don't like or share.

I now find myself very attracted to someone looking like this:


Thirty some odd years ago I wouldn't have. People also change as they grow older as Ambi shows.

 

[mikeyank]

The world is full of different people with many different tastes when it comes to sexuality. However, it seems the PC police have been out in full force whenever someone offers an opinion they don't agree with. They even demand those who disagree with gay marriage be fired from their jobs. Again, this is an opinion they are stating and they are entitled to it no matter what the others may think of it.

Actually Iggy, I see these as two separate, very different issues. Of course our own sexual preferences are almost inborn and no one can tell me who it's acceptable for me to be attracted to. However someone who is opposed to gay marriage is denying a segment of the population the same rights as heterosexuals have, and so that is a whole different "kettle of fish" to me.

 

[peterh6308]

"kettle of fish" .

lol !!!

 

[mikeyank]

lol !!!

whoops, more of my "old man" talk, eh sonny???