a PUBLIC apology to David

[SGVBOB]

David, I am so very sorry that I included you in that posting, about the update. It was brought to my attention that you did not have any control over what would be edited/saved, and the final product.

Please be assured that I feel like TOTAL SHIT, yet once again, for lashing out at the wrong person.

 

[zyl84]

It takes a big man to apologize once. It takes an even bigger man to apologize twice.

 

[dande01]

SGVBOB,

Thank you and that was super cool of you to do

-David

 

[joninliverton]

I cannot understand why people have to apologise publicly but there again I cannot understand why the subject of rape was brought up in the first place. I also do not understand why Zyl felt he needed to tell the whole forum of his experience, which to me is very very personal. I have told some pretty personal stuff on here before, but never something like this.

One must remember that one doesn't really know people on the forum, and I bet you wouldn't go and announce such things on a table in the middle of Mcdonalds. Sorry but this issue has gotten way out of hand.

 

[kaalaaupuni]

joninliv, the forum has members of varying degrees of sensitivity who may take offense at some of the postings. Zyl has always struck me as intelligent, classy, and sensitive, and he discriminately shares things he thinks are of value to others. The degree to which he shares intimate details of his personal life is a reflection of the trust and connection he has to many members. Apologies are a way of 'making whole,' addressing an offense that may have been experienced; those involved did just that, and their interactions will reflect the connection.

My work and volunteer schedules preclude me from participating to the level the senior members do, but I am also selective about reading the posts. If I don't care for the subject, tenor, or direction of the posts, I find something else of interest... it keeps me from unnecessarily engaging in debates that go nowhere because there is no 'right' position. (btw, I have enjoyed some of the posts you've shared )

 

[kaalaaupuni]

oh, one other comment I forgot--public apologies do have value, in that they effectively put to bed the misunderstandings/misgivings other observers have that may foment additional discussions that degenerate into mean-spirited discussions...

 

[joninliverton]

joninliv, the forum has members of varying degrees of sensitivity who may take offense at some of the postings. Zyl has always struck me as intelligent, classy, and sensitive, and he discriminately shares things he thinks are of value to others. The degree to which he shares intimate details of his personal life is a reflection of the trust and connection he has to many members. Apologies are a way of 'making whole,' addressing an offense that may have been experienced; those involved did just that, and their interactions will reflect the connection.

My work and volunteer schedules preclude me from participating to the level the senior members do, but I am also selective about reading the posts. If I don't care for the subject, tenor, or direction of the posts, I find something else of interest... it keeps me from unnecessarily engaging in debates that go nowhere because there is no 'right' position. (btw, I have enjoyed some of the posts you've shared )

I understand your take on this but I have to disagree. Once you post something about yourself in this forum then you might as well do it to the wide world. I personally would never discuss something that sensitive, but I live across the water and attitudes towards certain things change.

Nevertheless thanks for you input and I'm glad you like "some" of my postings.

 

[Jayman01]

I cannot understand why people have to apologise publicly but there again I cannot understand why the subject of rape was brought up in the first place. I also do not understand why Zyl felt he needed to tell the whole forum of his experience, which to me is very very personal. I have told some pretty personal stuff on here before, but never something like this.

One must remember that one doesn't really know people on the forum, and I bet you wouldn't go and announce such things on a table in the middle of Mcdonalds. Sorry but this issue has gotten way out of hand.

Jon, you ask a great question here. I am not sure I am a person who should speak about this. However; I would like to share some of my thoughts on the issue of apology in general. I am not sure that public apologies are always necessary. However; it is considered a sign of respect and good moral character to apologize for any wrong doing when it is brought to our attention. I understand where you are coming from but I think in this case the criticism happened publicly and SGVBOB wanted to make a public apology.

As I see it we each have to live with ourselves 24/7. So, the decision to make an apology at all is an individual one. I believe that we all come from the same source and we will all go back to the same source. I have talked with at least one person in my life that had a near death experience and he explained what his life review was like. So, I figure that everyone we meet or interact with in life is here to teach us something whether it is about ourselves or others. So, I want to live my life as well as I can and treat everyone I can with love, dignity, and respect. I am not naïve. I do understand the nature of people but I think that it is much easier to forgive than it is to hold on to grief, hatred, guilt, shame, etc… That is different than “fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.” Anyway, to forgive is divine and to ask forgiveness and admit that we were wrong takes a lot of courage.

Jon, I realize that you have a good heart and that you meant no ill will. I believe you were just trying to understand the need to apologize when the issues were already so publicly debated. Some people have different ways to process their feelings and so forth. Sometimes people cannot find a stranger or a qualified counselor that will listen empathetically and sometimes journaling is not simply enough. The Forum like you said is pretty anonymous and it provides the perfect vehicle for people to bare their soul to the world to others and get their opinions openly and honestly. Strategically, the Forum may not be the best tool in the box. Then again, only those posting and responding can ultimately decide that them self I guess.

 

[SGVBOB]

I am VERY sorry to hear that you feel this way Jon, (but I respect it, because it is YOUR personal opinion), and you are entitled to just that! The purpose of 'apologizing' is that of 'remorse for what has been said/done', as when one, (such as myself), did not take into account the feelings of BOTH members, as well, Staff

I cannot understand why people have to apologise publicly but there again I cannot understand why the subject of rape was brought up in the first place. I also do not understand why Zyl felt he needed to tell the whole forum of his experience, which to me is very very personal. I have told some pretty personal stuff on here before, but never something like this.

One must remember that one doesn't really know people on the forum, and I bet you wouldn't go and announce such things on a table in the middle of Mcdonalds. Sorry but this issue has gotten way out of hand.