Who has been bullied ?

[joninliverton]

My dear friend Lovelumps mentioned in another thread that there was a guy Called Ryan King (not the College Boy Physicals model) that bullied her at school. I hate bullies and I myself (think it was my charming looks) was bullied during my early teens.

I think guys and girls who bully, do so out of insecurity and jealousy. This seemed to be the case in my experience. I was bullied by 2 lads when I was around 13 or 14. I had never gotten into any fights at school or out of school as I was a very friend and happy boy. When I moved from junior to senior school at 11, I met up with some really nice boys and girls from other local junior schools but there are always people that are not going to like you.

The 2 guys that bullied me didn't do it as a team as they were from different classes and age groups, one did it on the way back from the bus to my house and the other in the school playing fields. I put up with it for a few weeks then my parents noticed that I was getting insular and quiet and asked what was wrong. I said nothing was wrong and continued to take all this bullying but inside I was actually building up a terrifying aggression.

Then one day when I was doing my school homework one of my friends knocked on my door - both parents were out so I answered and said that the guy who was bullying me on the school playing fields had come over from his part of town to "sort me out". Well that was when I decided enough was enough and I changed into old clothes and ran like mad to the soccer pitch where this guy was waiting for me. By this time word had gotten around that a fight was going to happen and a few kids had gathered around in a circle to watch - common in the uk. By the time I had arrived at the scene I was so angry that I just barged through the circle and jumped on to this lad who was actually smaller than myself. I got him to the floor and battered the living daylights out of him and had to be pulled off by older guys as I was not going to stop.

Two days later I was walking home from the bus stop and the other bully decided to do his usual thing by trying to pull my school bag off my back but this time instead of just letting him do it, I took the bag off my back and gave him a good thrashing too. Fortunately for him, I was not as angry as on the previous occasion so he got away lightly.

So that was that. Word soon got around and I was no longer bullied. Some of the bullys tried to befriend me but I told them to take a hike and continued to hang out with my friends. I got over the bullying by fighting back, but I know many people don't and some even end up taking their own lives which is very sad indeed.

 

[lovelumps]

I have been bullied a lot in my very short life First in primary school by girls and boys. With the girls, it was always a dominance issue. They wanted to be friends with my friend and needed to make me feel bad and look bad in order to win/steal my friend. With the boys, it was harder to imagine their motivation. I was bullied to the point that, having reached my limit, I cussed out the biggest bully, Craig, in front of his friends. He yelled "pile up" and in the end, I had a broken nose. He never bullied me again, but I'm sure my mom called his mom to complain, after she took me to the ER. I'd bet he got his ass chewed out for breaking a girl's nose! lol

In middle school, I was harassed by a group of boys that had been bused in to our school from the city. They apparently had a thing for busty innocent preppies. Me and my Polo shirts and loafers must have been irresistible At any rate, I filed a complaint with my English teacher. I was terrified to go to my locker. That is, of course, a different kind of bullying, but it's hard to take just the same.

High school was better, mostly. I was still bullied, but mostly by jealous girls who wanted my bf. Rumors were the preferred method of bullying, then. I was called a slut more times than I care to admit, and blackballed from groups for being a slut. The irony is I was a virgin all through high school. I guess since I wasn't putting out, I was a threat?

The worst thing about bullying and bullies is that they don't stop once they have graduated HS or college, or even become parents. There are still people I have to deal with on a daily basis who are bullies. I can't tell you how many times I've come home from work or volunteering for one of the groups I give my time to, crying or stressed out because someone decided that they could use some invisible juju to get their way with me. Of course, I'm much stronger now and don't let anyone push me around. It doesn't hurt any less as an adult than it did as a kid when someone decides that "you" are not equal to "them".

Where I teach, we have a zero tolerance policy for bullies. It's a very difficult thing to monitor, bullying. It can be incredibly subtle, or flashing light obvious. But no child deserves to feel unsafe, not at school or at soccer practice, at the neighborhood pool or at home. Zero tolerance doesn't mean it doesn't happen, tho. It just means that those kids who are bullies are managed, they are counseled and mentored and taught. Their parents are called in to consult with the staff. The victims and their parents are consulted with and counseled. It's taken very seriously. Kids at the K-5 level, unfortunately, are suspended and expelled from our schools for bullying. Seriously, kids who are 5-11. That's a messed up kid, who is a bully at that age. But the hope we have for our schools is that they are bully free zones. Unfortunately, we've seen the damage bullying can do to a kid first hand here in Colorado. We'll never forget Columbine. It's a tragedy that could have been prevented.

Thanks, Jon! XXXO

 

[joninliverton]

Sometimes it's good to get things off ones chest or breasts as in your case xxx Love you loads xx

 

[cumrag27]

Myh contribution:

I was an easy target for bulleying because I simply would not fight back and they knew it. I kept all of the baggage of the threats, name calling, etc. to myself and literally suffered in silence. My mother would ask me what was wrong and I had no answer I could or would give her. Being called a "Queer" was all the fashion around 1960 when I was 12. All I could think is what had I done to deserve all of this grief?

I spent hours and hours trying to analyze my behavior, not realizing that making snide remarks questioning one's so-called masculinity was to be expected from those be-pimpled, voice changing, newly equipped with pubic hair growth jerks. In retrospect, I now realize the ones throwing out the verbally abusive language were being beset with those same insecurities in their own personal life. It took years for me to learn that there behavior towards me didn't depend on having a reason for their actions. All it took was a need to get back at anyone that just happened to be around at the wrong time, wrong place.

I don't even think there was anything sexual causing this bulleying because I probably had not even jerked off once when all this BS began. Certainly, I had not even entertained the thought I might be attracted to guys sexually. My major fault was I seemed to be aloof, assumed to have a superiority complex due to my aloof attitude, and I was not ever joining in a group. Therefore, I had no system of support among my own peers. Shortly there after, I developed the attitude that I was unlikeable, fundamentally unloveable, and it was too much a sacrifice to ask of my peers to be my friend. This was the mode I was stuck in throughout the next 6 years of my formal education. Once I graduated from high school and entered college, I was in a new setting and pre-existing prejudices no longer applied on my College campus. I was freed from all the negatives that had followed me throughout high school. For the first time in my life, college allowed me to make meaningfui friendships absent the bulleying.

Having never had a relationship approaching love at age 19, I soon formed an intense crush on this sexy acquaintance from New Jersey that would each evening strip down in his room in preparation for his nightly shower, walking totally nude with a big smile down the hallway towards our community showers in the dorm. My eyes nearly popped out of my head each time I saw his impressive tool swinging as he walked unassumingly down the hallway. I could not take my eyes off of him and convinced myself he had an interest in me too. Because I had so little interaction with peers prior to going to college, I became smitten and was like a puppy dog arranging my schedule to be where ever he was just to be so lucky to get a smile from him. This hot merchandise had been in a Catholic seminary before entering college and that fact further reinforced my perception of having something in common with this sexy stud. He had the perfect well-developed body that I would have died for. Yet, he was very much into sowing his oats, but not fooling around with any guy on this planet. He liked girls too much for that prospect to ever happen with me. After pouring excessive amounts of attention on him, I finally became too intense and too much for him to deal with, although he was not callous or uncaring for my general well-being. Rejected as was inevitable in this lopsided relationship, we came to an agreement that I would no longer force myself on him and avoid all future contact which I have done to this day. However, deep down in the dark recesses of my mind, I still long for him to this very day, almost a half-century laterl


Totally honest,


Stimpy

 

[mikeyank]

Thank you Stimpy for sharing your deeply personal experiences growing up as a gay boy in a straight society. I must confess that when you described your following around your handsome, well hung, "Jersey Boy" at college, I can certainly relate to your experience when you said:

"I became smitten and was like a puppy dog arranging my schedule to be where ever he was just to be so lucky to get a smile from him".

And when you said:

"However, deep down in the dark recesses of my mind, I still long for him to this very day, almost a half-century laterl"

I too still have "crushes" today for guys that I haven't seen or heard for for decades and decades. In fact to this day, my "ideal man" is based on a guy who I first met at age 8 and last saw when he was 19, when we spent a college break summer weekend with another friend on an island in the middle of scenic Lake George. He spent the entire weekend dressed only in a 1969 version of a red Speedo, as we were water skiing and he never felt the need to change back into jeans and a t shirt. In fact, in my mind I can see him exactly as he looked on that hot summer weekend in the summer of 1969.

I was not bullied, but certainly longed for this "ideal 19 year old straight boy"!

 

[Ambivalent]

Jon,

Thanks for this thread; I think it is a good, and helpful one. I certainly empathize with your experience. I was certainly bullied in junior high school, because I was a little singer and pianist, and known to be a churchgoer - and some of the boys who attended my school didn't take kindly to all that sissiness. The bullies' favorite time to lash out at me, was when I was coming back to the schoolground after piano lessons, at the lunch hour.

However: I come from a very fierce and warlike Scots family, on the Marches, who have been fighting for over 700 years. My Great-Uncle was a celebrated sniper in W.W.I; and my Uncle was in the R.C.A.F., in W.W. II. And I am VERY LARGE - was even VERY LARGE at the age of 12 (6' 2", at the age of 12): so when those boys piled on me, one day: I just thrashed them, one by one, though it was a group attack. And they never bothered me, again. (I admire your courage in doing the same, BTW.)

Bullies, of course, require a taste of their own medicine. However, I know that not all gay kids are equipped to administer this. And peace and concord are, of course, best for everyone. So, I always hope and pray for better school supervision; more vigilant teaching staff; and more education and better understanding, amongst the young people, of today.

"A" XOXOXOXOXO

P.S. Stimpy, your story is very beautiful. I wonder if (and I hope that) that college mate now realizes you were one of the best friends he ever had. . . That certainly happened, to me, with some of my bullies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNRqibe96_g

 

[Valentine]

Thank you all for the sharing of some of of these hurtful and some of these very tender memories. My heart just breaks over bullying. Especially when the result is sometimes suicide.

 

[JLipps4u]

When I was in like 2nd grade, a bully came up behind and out his arm around my neck in a choke hole. Nerd that I was, I pulled out a highly sharpened pencil and proceeded to stab the boy's arm with it! He never bothered me again.

I was always small, and puny, but I always had a wild side and I was never fearful. Anytime anyone tried to best me, I would have a quick and violent reaction. I knew kids called me queer and stuff, but no one ever had the guts to do it to my face. They all feared me! I always found that amusing.

Years ago, I was coming out of a gay bar. Some straight guys were driving around looking for someone to harass. They saw me and figured I was an easy target. So, I got in my car and started to drive off. They were following me in a little Toyota truck. Well, the fools passed me and tried to block my car coming to a quick stop! That was there mistake. I quickly realized what was about to happen, and as they prepared to get out of their truck with bats in hand, I revved up my car and aimed right for them! I smashed in their truck door and left them scattered and stunned.
I backed up and pulled away and left them standing there. I never looked back!

I am not particularly proud that I react like I do, but that is just how I am, and have always been. I do apologize if the thread was to share stories of pain and humiliation.

 

[grace17]

When I was in like 2nd grade, a bully came up behind and out his arm around my neck in a choke hole. Nerd that I was, I pulled out a highly sharpened pencil and proceeded to stab the boy's arm with it! He never bothered me again.

I was always small, and puny, but I always had a wild side and I was never fearful. Anytime anyone tried to best me, I would have a quick and violent reaction. I knew kids called me queer and stuff, but no one ever had the guts to do it to my face. They all feared me! I always found that amusing.

Years ago, I was coming out of a gay bar. Some straight guys were driving around looking for someone to harass. They saw me and figured I was an easy target. So, I got in my car and started to drive off. They were following me in a little Toyota truck. Well, the fools passed me and tried to block my car coming to a quick stop! That was there mistake. I quickly realized what was about to happen, and as they prepared to get out of their truck with bats in hand, I revved up my car and aimed right for them! I smashed in their truck door and left them scattered and stunned.
I backed up and pulled away and left them standing there. I never looked back!

I am not particularly proud that I react like I do, but that is just how I am, and have always been. I do apologize if the thread was to share stories of pain and humiliation.

Love your 'stories of lust and seduction', but I love this wonderful story of 'potential underdog rules the world' even more!

 

[grace17]

To all the bullies out there far away from this forum and the unique friendships formed here...

Yep! that felt good!

 

[joninliverton]

When I was in like 2nd grade, a bully came up behind and out his arm around my neck in a choke hole. Nerd that I was, I pulled out a highly sharpened pencil and proceeded to stab the boy's arm with it! He never bothered me again.

I was always small, and puny, but I always had a wild side and I was never fearful. Anytime anyone tried to best me, I would have a quick and violent reaction. I knew kids called me queer and stuff, but no one ever had the guts to do it to my face. They all feared me! I always found that amusing.

Years ago, I was coming out of a gay bar. Some straight guys were driving around looking for someone to harass. They saw me and figured I was an easy target. So, I got in my car and started to drive off. They were following me in a little Toyota truck. Well, the fools passed me and tried to block my car coming to a quick stop! That was there mistake. I quickly realized what was about to happen, and as they prepared to get out of their truck with bats in hand, I revved up my car and aimed right for them! I smashed in their truck door and left them scattered and stunned.
I backed up and pulled away and left them standing there. I never looked back!

I am not particularly proud that I react like I do, but that is just how I am, and have always been. I do apologize if the thread was to share stories of pain and humiliation.

No need to apologise dude and the thread is here for all to share their experiences with bullies, no matter what the eventual turnout was. I have a friend who is as camp as Christmas and he told me that when he was in school he was never bullied because his cousin was a 6 foot 2ins beefcake hard nut who always looked out for him.