What is your preferred JO lubrication??

[underwear fun]

Sperm Donation

How many days 'of donation' do you think it would take before they would turn me away!!!

Tom, it would depend which nurse you got. lmfao

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_w-Rhd8x6WU


Undie

 

[mikeyank]

Tom, it would depend which nurse you got. lmfao

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_w-Rhd8x6WU


Undie

Thanks for that clip Undie. It was like a heterosexual version of College Boy Physicals.

 

[underwear fun]

Sperm donation??

Thanks for that clip Undie. It was like a heterosexual version of College Boy Physicals.

Mike, I've been calling you all morning! Where are you, down at the sperm clinic?

Undie (sorry, I couldn't resist)

 

[thomas1023]

Tom, it would depend which nurse you got. lmfao

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_w-Rhd8x6WU


Undie

Great! I wish my Dr visits were half as much fun!

 

[JLipps4u]

I notice this wasn't on the list of lubes, but, my absolute fav is using another guy's cum for lubrication. short of that, anyway water based lube is fine!

 

[lpdude86]

Well, getting back to the poll...there was a pole around here to begin with, I guess the closest 'answer' for me woudl be: What ever bathroom or kitchen product is to hand at the moment.
I much enjoy Olive Oil (Newman's Own Organics- after all - it is for charity!!!!).

That is funny. I spent a night at a friends house when I was in high school at about the age of 15-16, we were going to a theme park the next day so his parents said I should spend the night. Anyways, back to the story, we were going to sleep on his bedroom floor in sleeping bags and I was laying on the floor and I say a small bottle of cooking oil under his brothers bed. I asked my friend what is for and he wouldn't say he just turned red and said think about it. I had no clue, I was still very naive about jerking off and thought I was he only one who did it.
So his brother who was about 18 finally comes into the room and me being the inquisitive person that I am asked what the bottle of oil was for. His brother looked me right in the face and without even blinking an eye or turning red said I use it for lube when I beat my meat.I was speechless, it was the first time I had ever heard someone admit that they did what I was doing. His brother then said you should try it it feels great.
I was so shocked that I didn't say anything else about it. The next day my friend told me that hand cream was good also. He said "don't tell me you are doing it dry".
From that day forward it has been some kind of lube until the precum begins to flow.

 

[cumrag27]

Original Water-based Lube???

I notice this wasn't on the list of lubes, but, my absolute fav is using another guy's cum for lubrication. short of that, anyway water based lube is fine!

Dear JLipps4u,

I was always told that the body was 50 - 80% water. Therefore I always understood that "Cum" was the "original water based lubricant" if you could just get your hands on some leading to your own orgasm.

Too bad it was so relatively hard to come by, or should I say cum by.

Sincerely,


Cumrag27, aka Stimpy

 

[panzer104]

I always liked astro glide.

Astroglide Personal Lubricant provides whisper-light lubrication for enhancing the comfort and ease of intimate activity. Developed to mimic natural body fluids, Astroglide not only lubricates, but also acts as a moisturizer for vaginal dryness. Astroglide's long-lasting super-slick formula is water-based, water-soluble and petroleum free. Astroglide will intensify the pleasure and sensitivity for both partners. It is the perfect ingredient for increased sexual fun.

My personal favorite...as I was once told, "you can slip an elephant through a pinhole with astroglide". Though any lotion with an oatmeal additive works in a pinch...

 

[underwear fun]

Scientific Trials

Ok guys, I'll try all these lubes out and report back to you in say 5 years. Ok?

Undie (they don't sell the stuff in small bottles!)

 

[lovelumps]

Girls...

My personal favorite lube is JO water based warming.

http://www.systemjo.com/

 

[cumrag27]

Narrow minded and wanted to stay that way!

My personal favorite...as I was once told, "you can slip an elephant through a pinhole with astroglide". Though any lotion with an oatmeal additive works in a pinch...

Dearest Panzer,

I don't quite know how you would know this about me but, now that it is out, there is simply no stopping Marvin Gaye and his motormouth...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hajBdDM2qdg

I wished, further, that you would leave out mentioning my all-time favorite morning cereal. It is as if you wish by removing my two favorite things in the world, that I must now resort to taking up drinking too!

Very perplexed about what started out as a simple "barroom dare" and now all of this with no where to house my new elephant, named "Slippery Slope". After the Astroglide Treatment and loosing all of "Slippery Slope's" wrinkles, I can't even give "Slippery Slope" a hug without flying across the barn/garage. And the "pinhole route", you so graciously mentioned, has been closed due to much needed repair and expansion, if you don't mind.


Narrow minded and wanted to stay that way! Alot of hurt for so little lube!


Stimpy

 

[cumrag27]

Befriending me again...???

Ok guys, I'll try all these lubes out and report back to you in say 5 years. Ok?

Undie (they don't sell the stuff in small bottles!)

Dearest Undie,

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Here's hoping that you have befriended and relied on me once again for the following concerns and advice below:

Does it mean that you will take at least 5 years to growup enough to really need the lube? OR

Does it mean, due to your 5 year projections on lube requirements currently housed under your bed, you are good for another 5 years "astroking" before seeking new slippery provisions? Based on your avatar, I sometimes wonder???

Either way, as you take time out for the simpler "thing" in life, realize that getting some routine daily exercise is also helpful to your overall good health and your circulation back into society as a productive member once again. Hope you take the hint!LOL


Respectfully,


Cumrag27, aka Stimpy - Lube Patrol Captain

 

[cumrag27]

Dear Undie,

When edging, I used to use no lube but, lets just say things took a beating and I had to locate some alternative methodology for successful edging. The product below is by far the BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD when it cums to edging. Stroke 29 Masturbation Cream is marketed for only one purpose and that purpose is handled exceedingly well and to my complete satisfaction. It is ordorless and does not stain clothing or bedding. It is available through Amazon and money well spent if you desire to raise your edging to the "next level or two" I sware by it. It gets its name because the cream consistecy totally melts away after "29 strokes" and sometimes even less, depending on the determination.

The other product is an improvement to the regular ID - Pleasure water-based lube and performs satisfactorily, but it is definitely my second choice for "edging".

All of this makes me feel releaved in that I have not passed on my secrets to future generations of horny men, and I don't ever have to worry that they will become an endangered species.

Happy Edging through the New Year Everybody!


Stimpy

Dear friends,

In my attempt to keep you aprised of all the latest lubrication lube, I would like to add Aura blow NO NO NO Let me restate that almond-scented Aura Glow is available and something I have taken a "real glowing shine to" and after just the first use. It cannot be used with latex condoms, however. It is available at

http://keenebmsstore.com/EdgarCayce.cfm

and worth every penny, too! So, when polishing off your knob, think of almond scented Aura Glow. It is great for massages, as well. (Originally recommended by Jayman01)

I highly recommend it too,


Stimpy

 

[Jayman01]

Thank you Cumrag. I am glad you were able to try it and se first hand for yourself. It is fantastic JO lube I tell you. It is primarily a massage oil and one to the best in the industry. All I can say is my little friend Skip really loves when I use this lube on him.

 

[cumrag27]

My little friend

Thank you Cumrag. I am glad you were able to try it and se first hand for yourself. It is fantastic JO lube I tell you. It is primarily a massage oil and one to the best in the industry. All I can say is my little friend Skip really loves when I use this lube on him.

Dearest Jayman,

Don't be so modest my friend. I am sure your "little friend Skip", as well as your massage oil, is just like you, "bigger than life", a hand full at times, and full of surprises, too! All in one tidy(not tiny) and convenient action-packed package!

Sincerely,


Stimpy

 

[Markymark]

Dear friends,

In my attempt to keep you aprised of all the latest lubrication lube, I would like to add Aura blow NO NO NO Let me restate that almond-scented Aura Glow is available and something I have taken a "real glowing shine to" and after just the first use. It cannot be used with latex condoms, however. It is available at

http://keenebmsstore.com/EdgarCayce.cfm

and worth every penny, too! So, when polishing off your knob, think of almond scented Aura Glow. It is great for massages, as well. (Originally recommended by Jayman01)

I highly recommend it too,


Stimpy

What are you, Stimpy, the market rep? LMAO! We Love your pitch!

On a personal note, We are unable to participate in this poll, as we feel that if we need to provide the stimulation needed to achieve pleasure, it just isn't worth it. We will however ask some of our many young assistants, (who we consider to be quite capable) what they used the last time we held audience with them.

 

[cumrag27]

Want my business card?

What are you, Stimpy, the market rep? LMAO! We Love your pitch!

On a personal note, We are unable to participate in this poll, as we feel that if we need to provide the stimulation needed to achieve pleasure, it just isn't worth it. We will however ask some of our many young assistants, (who we consider to be quite capable) what they used the last time we held audience with them.

Dear Markymark,

Stimpy has been around these here parts going on some 10 months or so. I hear from voices deep within that you are quite somebody. I am just a frumpy old cat that likes his tail feathers scratched occasionally and will give out a convincingly genuine meow with just a little bit of attention.

Some say this cat is too wordy, famous for his 1000+ word posts. Undie has even detected on his word radar a three parter I submitted exceeded 3600 in a 600 word zone. Fortunately, my meow got me out of that "iffy" situation with the fuzz.

If the truth be known, my current attire leaves me little room for business cards unless I carry them in my mouth, and that really gets in the way when feeding time comes around. Furthermore, most other cats resent teethmarks on business cards anyway. So, I have had to abandon my career entirely, although I occasionally lapse in marketing banter unknowingly. I can assure you that all recommendations are uncompensated and completely objective from this cat's perception.

Anyway, did I hear someone call "Den-Den"? Well I have got to go now! See you around MarkyMark, while you are clawing your way back to the top again!

Stimpy

 

[Jayman01]

Dearest Jayman,

Don't be so modest my friend. I am sure your "little friend Skip", as well as your massage oil, is just like you, "bigger than life", a hand full at times, and full of surprises, too! All in one tidy(not tiny) and convenient action-packed package!

Sincerely,


Stimpy

LMAO.

 

[Jayman01]

What are you, Stimpy, the market rep? LMAO! We Love your pitch!

On a personal note, We are unable to participate in this poll, as we feel that if we need to provide the stimulation needed to achieve pleasure, it just isn't worth it. We will however ask some of our many young assistants, (who we consider to be quite capable) what they used the last time we held audience with them.

Your Majesty, I do understand your dilemma. I will humbly and graciously await your royal findings on this most serious issue of the best lubes for sexual gratification and self indulgent pleasure. By your leave your Highness...

 

[Markymark]

Dear Stimpy,

Your a"cute" verbosity enthralls us, et nous sommes tres enchantons de faire votre conaisance, (Pleased ta meetcha), We are certain many forumites will agree that we have been gone from our fair forumland for far too long, and we are most certainly glad to have returned to find all things well. We look forward to many hours of stimulating conversation, interrupted only by short forays into the video archives here in the Palace!

Blessings on all!