Straight-acting

[trebligon]

Sorry if this is not worthy of its own thread. I don't have any gay guys in my life (a lot of bisexual women though...) really so I am just looking for a somewhat related perspective to unload on.

My interest in Broke Straight Boys mostly comes from the idea of "straight-acting". I actually would prefer the guys are enjoying themselves, and calling oneself straight when having gay sex feels like a losing battle with self-acceptance, even if you're indeed mostly straight. Coming to terms with my own gayness was not easy, but especially difficult given my not negligible opposite sex attraction. In order to just move on from silly notions of concretely defined identity, I just go with "gay+" which amuses me for some reason. I have no particular interest in "confirmed" straight guys having gay sex. One of the things that I really appreciate from the site was when kissing became a thing as a kind of fuck you to stupid boundaries of straight and gay (and it's fucking hot).

Anyway, I suppose I am likely in an unusual situation to most subscribers, as I usually watch with the sound off. I find the oohs and ahs in porn to be so fake-sounding it takes me out of the moment, and bad acting is the worst so the scenarios stuff can be really awful to watch if I have to hear wooden delivery (no pun intended). I do sometimes wonder what the performers are saying. On very rare occasion I can be turned on by a well-said phrase, so I will once in a while turn the sound on during a scene. I find myself instantly turned off when I hear the lilt of a "femme" guy.

I try to be progressive as much as possible, so I have often feared my disdain for the gay lilt is deeply rooted in misogyny. And while I think all homophobia/transphobia is in part rooted in misogyny in broad strokes, if nothing else than by having strict lines over what is masculine or feminine, I have started to question whether the gay lilt is really feminine. That's not the main thrust of what I am talking about, but I do find that intonation, and the pursed lips and limp wrists, associated cattiness and obsession with superficial appearances, extremely annoying in women, too. Most women I've known in my life do not sound or act like that. Whether it is truly a female or even a "prefer having sex with men" thing, it feels anti-sexy to me.

I moved somewhat recently and met a neighbor. In a first for me, I was pretty open about my sexuality, and mentioned being gay in my second meeting with him. He is a mostly straight guy, and he said, "yeah, I figured," and I was almost dumbstruck. I have lived most of my life deeply closeted (I grew up in an evangelical Latino family), and when I tell people I'm gay+, they usually are very surprised. I thought about that horror at being "seen" and felt the instant need to purge whatever "femme" traits were exposed. It was like a sledgehammer to my own sense of self-acceptance. It brought to the fore my old fear of being "found out" and I felt I was in danger.

I signed up for this site for a couple of reasons, and its name is not one of them. The Broke part makes me feel like I'm exploiting desperate people (I know this is not the case), and the Boys part is always going to be connected to the idea of children in my mind, because it's just not used in the same context as Girls. I signed up because I needed to spend some money before I'm broke (I'm a returning college student) so I can have some wank material that I don't feel like I'm stealing and I don't have to watch tedious ads, and that the guys are mostly fit but lean, neither beefy giants nor scrawny hairless twinks. It's also Americans, so the guys are mostly circumcised. Try as I might, I find myself off-put at best by foreskin. Which is ironic (?) because I find the practice morally repugnant.

I wrote this is up because I can't afford therapy anymore. Any thoughts are appreciated.

 

[mikeyank]

Hi trebligon and welcome to the Broke Straight Boys Message Board. I have been a member of the site and this forum since its inception in 2008 and you are most welcome to use the forum in lieu of a certified therapist. It has most definitely been a place for me to get my “group therapy” many times over these past 15 years. You bring up very valid issues that so many of us bi, gay, pansexual or gay+ as you call yourself folks all have gone through. Obviously there is no cookie cutter type that applies to all men who enjoy sex with other men. And your own perspective on sexuality is as valid as mine or anyone else’s is.

Some of the things you said are not considered “politically correct”, but you are being honest and we all have at least some prejudices that we may not be proud of but are a part of who we are. And it is healthy to say them out loud to a like minded community. I’d love to hear from other member’s of the forum regarding your thoughts and I hope you take advantage of this forum as a part of your membership here. In my opinion this forum currently has too many picture threads and not enough thoughtful conversation on topics of interest.

I hope you become a frequent poster while a member here trebligon.

 

[trebligon]

Thanks Mike. I guess I forgot to mention that I am trying to overcome these prejudices, but I find it to be very difficult. Except it's really just an immediate reaction and hopefully not a hatred of "femme" men. And I hate that, even as I am more comfortable with who I am, I still have these visceral reactions to the idea of being "one of them".

 

[br6205]

Thanks Mike. I guess I forgot to mention that I am trying to overcome these prejudices, but I find it to be very difficult. Except it's really just an immediate reaction and hopefully not a hatred of "femme" men. And I hate that, even as I am more comfortable with who I am, I still have these visceral reactions to the idea of being "one of them".

I have no attraction to feminine guys & don't see the point. But while not attracted have ill will towards them. It is not an issue of what you look like but how you act. For example I had an uncle who was straight but effeminate because as the youngest of three sons , the parents wanted a dughter & as small child they brought him up as girl but as a man he was married & had no desire to be with guys.

 

[legend0007]

I'm not as masculine as most blokes, in fact it could be said I have some androgynous characteristics (second time i've used that banger of a word on here today ), but I don't think you've said anything prejudiced.

I'm on my way out and may revisit the thread, but wanna quickly say if you want to talk about anything i'm happy to. Have struggled with my sexuality too, if that's part of what's going on. x

 

[entonces65]

Trebligon, welcome to Broke Straight Boys Writing is great therapy. I write a lot. My books are for commercial targets but my short stories allow me to release my baggage. I am afraid of my new project of writing my memoir, even I don’t know what will fall out as I write. Nearly all my life I was some sort of leader of straight people. When I entered the Navy I was out but I had to keep my sex life to myself. As a federal agent I also had to keep my sexual preference to myself. This also meant that I had to keep my home in a neutral condition. In few words I don’t have a statue of “David” or pictures of male dancers any where in my home. If anything in my house that can snitch me it would be my computer. Alone there is no telling what I would search or links that I would engage, so a simple google search which often has a drop-down listing of where I have been in the internet there for every one to see. Even now I have a gay free computer in my living room where I don’t go searching for anything gay. I am in my closet so deep that even now at age 70 I can’t find away out. I told my straight helper that it makes no sense that I am still in a closet and that I will become more open about what I like. He answered with a very clear doubt that I could.

All my life I have lived a double existence. I would go out to a gay bar and look up and down the street to see if anyone I knew was watching me go inside. Yet inside I have had bartenders tell me that I was in a gay bar more as a warning to behave, because my straight side hadn’t turned off. I considered this a compliment and have found that there are many straight and gay men who like my style. I have been drawn to Broke Straight Boys by the name and I am predator enough not to worry about the implications. During my Navy days I found that the Kinsey report of the early 1950’s was true. Few people are totally gay or straight. We are all somewhere in between. At sea I had plenty of sex. Some how I could read a horny 18 YO and begin to work to get inside him literally. I did have plenty of straight guys. I also learned to avoid the obvious gay men because that turned off (because of fear) the straight guys who were in the majority. It was about the numbers of opportunity.

Having had so much sex with straight men I have developed a preference for masculine men. I don’t go to drag bars and little queens only are attractive to me if they are the only ones around and when I am horny. Straight guys usually don’t make noise when I am in their asses. I agree with you about turning down the volume while watching porn. It seems to me that some of the Latin sites have the actors talking much like I do. I speak pretty good Espanol (I can’t get Word to insert the tilde) but have yet to learn Portuguese so the Brazilian sites leave me hanging when the top is demanding the bottom to do things. These actors make sex like I do. I often tell my bottom straight or gay what to do, how they feel to me, and ask if they like what I am doing. This is a subject that we on Broke Straight Boys have discussed a long time ago. There are plenty of guys here who think that most guys make a lot of noise when having sex. When I run into a screamer, I tell them to shut up. Trebligon you and I have something in common when it comes to noisy sex.

Good luck at school and don’t be shy about sharing here.

 

[br6205]

Trebligon, welcome to Broke Straight Boys Writing is great therapy. I write a lot. My books are for commercial targets but my short stories allow me to release my baggage. I am afraid of my new project of writing my memoir, even I don’t know what will fall out as I write. Nearly all my life I was some sort of leader of straight people. When I entered the Navy I was out but I had to keep my sex life to myself. As a federal agent I also had to keep my sexual preference to myself. This also meant that I had to keep my home in a neutral condition. In few words I don’t have a statue of “David” or pictures of male dancers any where in my home. If anything in my house that can snitch me it would be my computer. Alone there is no telling what I would search or links that I would engage, so a simple google search which often has a drop-down listing of where I have been in the internet there for every one to see. Even now I have a gay free computer in my living room where I don’t go searching for anything gay. I am in my closet so deep that even now at age 70 I can’t find away out. I told my straight helper that it makes no sense that I am still in a closet and that I will become more open about what I like. He answered with a very clear doubt that I could.

All my life I have lived a double existence. I would go out to a gay bar and look up and down the street to see if anyone I knew was watching me go inside. Yet inside I have had bartenders tell me that I was in a gay bar more as a warning to behave, because my straight side hadn’t turned off. I considered this a compliment and have found that there are many straight and gay men who like my style. I have been drawn to Broke Straight Boys by the name and I am predator enough not to worry about the implications. During my Navy days I found that the Kinsey report of the early 1950’s was true. Few people are totally gay or straight. We are all somewhere in between. At sea I had plenty of sex. Some how I could read a horny 18 YO and begin to work to get inside him literally. I did have plenty of straight guys. I also learned to avoid the obvious gay men because that turned off (because of fear) the straight guys who were in the majority. It was about the numbers of opportunity.

Having had so much sex with straight men I have developed a preference for masculine men. I don’t go to drag bars and little queens only are attractive to me if they are the only ones around and when I am horny. Straight guys usually don’t make noise when I am in their asses. I agree with you about turning down the volume while watching porn. It seems to me that some of the Latin sites have the actors talking much like I do. I speak pretty good Espanol (I can’t get Word to insert the tilde) but have yet to learn Portuguese so the Brazilian sites leave me hanging when the top is demanding the bottom to do things. These actors make sex like I do. I often tell my bottom straight or gay what to do, how they feel to me, and ask if they like what I am doing. This is a subject that we on Broke Straight Boys have discussed a long time ago. There are plenty of guys here who think that most guys make a lot of noise when having sex. When I run into a screamer, I tell them to shut up. Trebligon you and I have something in common when it comes to noisy sex.

Good luck at school and don’t be shy about sharing here.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[mikeyank]

Thanks Mike. I guess I forgot to mention that I am trying to overcome these prejudices, but I find it to be very difficult. Except it's really just an immediate reaction and hopefully not a hatred of "femme" men. And I hate that, even as I am more comfortable with who I am, I still have these visceral reactions to the idea of being "one of them

Trebligon, welcome to Broke Straight Boys Writing is great therapy. I write a lot. My books are for commercial targets but my short stories allow me to release my baggage. I am afraid of my new project of writing my memoir, even I don’t know what will fall out as I write. Nearly all my life I was some sort of leader of straight people. When I entered the Navy I was out but I had to keep my sex life to myself. As a federal agent I also had to keep my sexual preference to myself. This also meant that I had to keep my home in a neutral condition. In few words I don’t have a statue of “David” or pictures of male dancers any where in my home. If anything in my house that can snitch me it would be my computer. Alone there is no telling what I would search or links that I would engage, so a simple google search which often has a drop-down listing of where I have been in the internet there for every one to see. Even now I have a gay free computer in my living room where I don’t go searching for anything gay. I am in my closet so deep that even now at age 70 I can’t find away out. I told my straight helper that it makes no sense that I am still in a closet and that I will become more open about what I like. He answered with a very clear doubt that I could.

All my life I have lived a double existence. I would go out to a gay bar and look up and down the street to see if anyone I knew was watching me go inside. Yet inside I have had bartenders tell me that I was in a gay bar more as a warning to behave, because my straight side hadn’t turned off. I considered this a compliment and have found that there are many straight and gay men who like my style. I have been drawn to Broke Straight Boys by the name and I am predator enough not to worry about the implications. During my Navy days I found that the Kinsey report of the early 1950’s was true. Few people are totally gay or straight. We are all somewhere in between. At sea I had plenty of sex. Some how I could read a horny 18 YO and begin to work to get inside him literally. I did have plenty of straight guys. I also learned to avoid the obvious gay men because that turned off (because of fear) the straight guys who were in the majority. It was about the numbers of opportunity.

Having had so much sex with straight men I have developed a preference for masculine men. I don’t go to drag bars and little queens only are attractive to me if they are the only ones around and when I am horny. Straight guys usually don’t make noise when I am in their asses. I agree with you about turning down the volume while watching porn. It seems to me that some of the Latin sites have the actors talking much like I do. I speak pretty good Espanol (I can’t get Word to insert the tilde) but have yet to learn Portuguese so the Brazilian sites leave me hanging when the top is demanding the bottom to do things. These actors make sex like I do. I often tell my bottom straight or gay what to do, how they feel to me, and ask if they like what I am doing. This is a subject that we on Broke Straight Boys have discussed a long time ago. There are plenty of guys here who think that most guys make a lot of noise when having sex. When I run into a screamer, I tell them to shut up. Trebligon you and I have something in common when it comes to noisy sex.

Good luck at school and don’t be shy about sharing here.

I loved your post yesterday, entonces65 on the “feet” thread and I love this post even more. I also can relate to so much of what you said being in the same age range and experiencing similar circumstances, unfortunately without seducing the 18 year old sailors. Lol.

Thanks so much to you and and Max and trebligon for your posts. This is the Broke Straight Boys forum that I used to love with intelligent and pertinent discussions to the subject of interest to members of this site, Broke Straight Boys I am so turned off by so much by the lack of topics and discussions currently here. I implore you guys and to anyone else who feel like talking to continue this most fascinating discussion to me here.

 

[mikeyank]

Sorry if this is not worthy of its own thread. I don't have any gay guys in my life (a lot of bisexual women though...) really so I am just looking for a somewhat related perspective to unload on.

My interest in Broke Straight Boys mostly comes from the idea of "straight-acting". I actually would prefer the guys are enjoying themselves, and calling oneself straight when having gay sex feels like a losing battle with self-acceptance, even if you're indeed mostly straight. Coming to terms with my own gayness was not easy, but especially difficult given my not negligible opposite sex attraction. In order to just move on from silly notions of concretely defined identity, I just go with "gay+" which amuses me for some reason. I have no particular interest in "confirmed" straight guys having gay sex. One of the things that I really appreciate from the site was when kissing became a thing as a kind of fuck you to stupid boundaries of straight and gay (and it's fucking hot).

Anyway, I suppose I am likely in an unusual situation to most subscribers, as I usually watch with the sound off. I find the oohs and ahs in porn to be so fake-sounding it takes me out of the moment, and bad acting is the worst so the scenarios stuff can be really awful to watch if I have to hear wooden delivery (no pun intended). I do sometimes wonder what the performers are saying. On very rare occasion I can be turned on by a well-said phrase, so I will once in a while turn the sound on during a scene. I find myself instantly turned off when I hear the lilt of a "femme" guy.

I try to be progressive as much as possible, so I have often feared my disdain for the gay lilt is deeply rooted in misogyny. And while I think all homophobia/transphobia is in part rooted in misogyny in broad strokes, if nothing else than by having strict lines over what is masculine or feminine, I have started to question whether the gay lilt is really feminine. That's not the main thrust of what I am talking about, but I do find that intonation, and the pursed lips and limp wrists, associated cattiness and obsession with superficial appearances, extremely annoying in women, too. Most women I've known in my life do not sound or act like that. Whether it is truly a female or even a "prefer having sex with men" thing, it feels anti-sexy to me.

I moved somewhat recently and met a neighbor. In a first for me, I was pretty open about my sexuality, and mentioned being gay in my second meeting with him. He is a mostly straight guy, and he said, "yeah, I figured," and I was almost dumbstruck. I have lived most of my life deeply closeted (I grew up in an evangelical Latino family), and when I tell people I'm gay+, they usually are very surprised. I thought about that horror at being "seen" and felt the instant need to purge whatever "femme" traits were exposed. It was like a sledgehammer to my own sense of self-acceptance. It brought to the fore my old fear of being "found out" and I felt I was in danger.

I signed up for this site for a couple of reasons, and its name is not one of them. The Broke part makes me feel like I'm exploiting desperate people (I know this is not the case), and the Boys part is always going to be connected to the idea of children in my mind, because it's just not used in the same context as Girls. I signed up because I needed to spend some money before I'm broke (I'm a returning college student) so I can have some wank material that I don't feel like I'm stealing and I don't have to watch tedious ads, and that the guys are mostly fit but lean, neither beefy giants nor scrawny hairless twinks. It's also Americans, so the guys are mostly circumcised. Try as I might, I find myself off-put at best by foreskin. Which is ironic (?) because I find the practice morally repugnant.

I wrote this is up because I can't afford therapy anymore. Any thoughts are appreciated.

I’ve been thinking about your post trebligon. First, I am very disappointed that your thread did not receive more replies, as I would think that the subject matter would be of utmost interest to people who pay for “Broke Straight Boys”. You are a college student in 2023, yet you still think about the same kind of thoughts that I thought about as a 1972 college graduate. Your story of meeting a new straight neighbor and when telling him you were gay, being dumbstruck by his response, “I figured” made me think of years ago when I used to stay in Fort Lauderdale on vacation twice a year, and I thought I was very discreet and not noticeable as a gay man. One evening I left my motel and was heading down a side street to the beach area and the strip and I was passed by a man and two female friends walking in the opposite direction. After our paths crossed, he said to his friends, “Oh yes I forgot to tell you that a lot of gays are in this area”. He was obviously referring to me, and I too was “dumbstruck” thinking how did he know? It shouldn’t have mattered to me as I never hid being gay from people, but I didn’t think I was advertising it either.

And as far as your preference sexually for circumcised guys, I too am very disappointed in myself for having this prejudice, as man’s natural state is to have a foreskin, but the society I grew up in made it alien to my sensibilities and when I first saw an uncut guy as a teenager, it seemed to me as if something was wrong with him.

My sexual “type” has always been younger, more masculine guys, although a few of my boyfriends have not been as “straight acting” as I prefer, and when out with boyfriends at the time they were annoyed when they saw my eyes wandering toward young straight guys. Again I am not proud of being so into a “type”, but it is who I am, and that’s why I joined a site where I could believe that I was watching young good looking straight guys having gay sex.

I’d love to read thoughts and opinions of others on this most interesting topic to me.

 

[br6205]

Frankly I find the term puzzling. If a person acts without affectation, you are acting naturally as whom you are that in my opinion says nothing about your sexuality.

 

[trebligon]

Frankly I find the term puzzling. If a person acts without affectation, you are acting naturally as whom you are that in my opinion says nothing about your sexuality.

This is something that drives me crazy too. I know I have been in part conditioned to limit the "feminine" aspects of my behavior, so who knows what a version of myself without bigotry would be. But as I am, I am just me, and the way I act shouldn't be inherently considered either gay- or straight-acting.

There's this show I watched, The Other Two. One of its leads is a gay guy. He is relatively straight-acting, but almost every other gay character is of the "queen" type. Over the years, my automatic disdain for the femmes has decreased significantly, and I can really come to like characters like that after a while. However, the show really tested my patience with the very common lines about "oh, you know he's gay because he loves [insert female celebrity]" or some reference to the "inherent" gay interest in fashion or reality TV. The show, while ostensibly positive in its depiction of gay characters, reinforces the stereotypes and depicts gay men monolithically. And as I watch, I'm like, "that's not me. Not me at all." I don't give a shit about celebrities, or what's in style, and I hate reality TV. It pushes me back into the mindset of struggling to define myself. Am I really gay if gay men are like that? Is there any chance of my finding happiness with another guy if I'm like the only "masculine" one around and I'll have to settle for someone who is constantly talking about other people's clothes?

When LGBTQ+ people complain about "heteronormativity" it makes me angry. Just because heterosexual relationships held the monopoly on monogamy and marriage itself for most of history, it doesn't mean these are inherently heterosexual behaviors. Lots of straight people sleep around, or don't get married. Could we stop trying to pigeon-hole people?! UGHARGHBBBBBBbbbb...11001001

 

[trebligon]

You are a college student in 2023, yet you still think about the same kind of thoughts that I thought about as a 1972 college graduate.

Sorry if double-posting is not allowed. There's a lot of stuff I want to reply to in this thread, but I didn't want this possible misconception to propagate. I am in college, but I'm not a kid. I'm 45. I didn't finish college when I was a kid. and have been working for 25 years. My non-profit job was going through contraction at the end of last year, and I was let go. But I was given a severance, and I decided to capitalize on the timing as an opportunity to finally make something of my life, as I now have a career trajectory at this late stage. I'm trying to get a degree in philosophy to move onto law school and be a public defender so my life is worth something. There's a lot of reasons behind all that that I won't go into right now.

I will say though, it's a weird experience, because I am actually surrounded by the young, and many of the guys I go to school with are sexy as fuck. It kind of makes me angry because when I was their age, and in a world where I was able to self-actualize at the time, I could have been fucking my brains out (or not), instead of living in terror and having suicide ideation. Now I can only appreciate that shorts are generally back above the knee and lament what could have been.

 

[br6205]

This is something that drives me crazy too. I know I have been in part conditioned to limit the "feminine" aspects of my behavior, so who knows what a version of myself without bigotry would be. But as I am, I am just me, and the way I act shouldn't be inherently considered either gay- or straight-acting.

There's this show I watched, The Other Two. One of its leads is a gay guy. He is relatively straight-acting, but almost every other gay character is of the "queen" type. Over the years, my automatic disdain for the femmes has decreased significantly, and I can really come to like characters like that after a while. However, the show really tested my patience with the very common lines about "oh, you know he's gay because he loves [insert female celebrity]" or some reference to the "inherent" gay interest in fashion or reality TV. The show, while ostensibly positive in its depiction of gay characters, reinforces the stereotypes and depicts gay men monolithically. And as I watch, I'm like, "that's not me. Not me at all." I don't give a shit about celebrities, or what's in style, and I hate reality TV. It pushes me back into the mindset of struggling to define myself. Am I really gay if gay men are like that? Is there any chance of my finding happiness with another guy if I'm like the only "masculine" one around and I'll have to settle for someone who is constantly talking about other people's clothes?

When LGBTQ+ people complain about "heteronormativity" it makes me angry. Just because heterosexual relationships held the monopoly on monogamy and marriage itself for most of history, it doesn't mean these are inherently heterosexual behaviors. Lots of straight people sleep around, or don't get married. Could we stop trying to pigeon-hole people?! UGHARGHBBBBBBbbbb...11001001

I agree with much of what you have said . The character of a person has nothing to do with their sexual preferences no more than their education or intelligence.

 

[mikeyank]

Sorry if double-posting is not allowed. There's a lot of stuff I want to reply to in this thread, but I didn't want this possible misconception to propagate. I am in college, but I'm not a kid. I'm 45. I didn't finish college when I was a kid. and have been working for 25 years. My non-profit job was going through contraction at the end of last year, and I was let go. But I was given a severance, and I decided to capitalize on the timing as an opportunity to finally make something of my life, as I now have a career trajectory at this late stage. I'm trying to get a degree in philosophy to move onto law school and be a public defender so my life is worth something. There's a lot of reasons behind all that that I won't go into right now.

I will say though, it's a weird experience, because I am actually surrounded by the young, and many of the guys I go to school with are sexy as fuck. It kind of makes me angry because when I was their age, and in a world where I was able to self-actualize at the time, I could have been fucking my brains out (or not), instead of living in terror and having suicide ideation. Now I can only appreciate that shorts are generally back above the knee and lament what could have been.

Double-posting, triple-posting and quadruple-posting are all allowed. Mark, the owner of this site gives us pretty much free rein with this forum. Thanks for clarifying that you are an older college student and I sure agree about how hot college aged guys can be. And lots of twenty something year olds are into forty something year olds, so bedding a college boy is not out if the realm of possibility. And if it doesn’t happen, enjoy the great scenery.

Thanks so much for joining us here. Please keep posting as much as you like. I sure am enjoying reading what you are saying.

 

[entonces65]

Sorry if double-posting is not allowed. There's a lot of stuff I want to reply to in this thread, but I didn't want this possible misconception to propagate. I am in college, but I'm not a kid. I'm 45. I didn't finish college when I was a kid. and have been working for 25 years. My non-profit job was going through contraction at the end of last year, and I was let go. But I was given a severance, and I decided to capitalize on the timing as an opportunity to finally make something of my life, as I now have a career trajectory at this late stage. I'm trying to get a degree in philosophy to move onto law school and be a public defender so my life is worth something. There's a lot of reasons behind all that that I won't go into right now.

I will say though, it's a weird experience, because I am actually surrounded by the young, and many of the guys I go to school with are sexy as fuck. It kind of makes me angry because when I was their age, and in a world where I was able to self-actualize at the time, I could have been fucking my brains out (or not), instead of living in terror and having suicide ideation. Now I can only appreciate that shorts are generally back above the knee and lament what could have been.

Trebligon
Dude you have touched on so many things here and I agree with Mike, it is about time to have a real discussion. I thank you for this. Don't make 45 to be the end of sexual adventure. It is not. I took along time to get over the death of my soul mate, and by age 45 I had to relearn what it was like to go to gay bars. I maintained a straight facade purely for job reasons only. In my heart I am sexually versatile, but on the gay scene I am forced to be Vers-top, the bottom queens complain if you want them to do more than catch. That withstanding at age 45 I was back to full swing, "fucking my brains" out as you say. I have found that the younger guys want the (I hate to say this because I doubt my own) wisdom they think I have, plus the experience in and out of bed. I suggest that you treat every ocassion as an adventure and all else will fall in place. Long, long ago while sitting in a neighborhood bar an old guy commented that I liked the guys younger than me. He stated that I was lucky in that as time went by I would have more and more to choose from. He wasn't wrong. Also I got my degree at age 49 on the 13 year plan. Never too late to learn more.

 

[trebligon]

Trebligon
Dude you have touched on so many things here and I agree with Mike, it is about time to have a real discussion. I thank you for this. Don't make 45 to be the end of sexual adventure. It is not. I took along time to get over the death of my soul mate, and by age 45 I had to relearn what it was like to go to gay bars. I maintained a straight facade purely for job reasons only. In my heart I am sexually versatile, but on the gay scene I am forced to be Vers-top, the bottom queens complain if you want them to do more than catch. That withstanding at age 45 I was back to full swing, "fucking my brains" out as you say. I have found that the younger guys want the (I hate to say this because I doubt my own) wisdom they think I have, plus the experience in and out of bed. I suggest that you treat every ocassion as an adventure and all else will fall in place. Long, long ago while sitting in a neighborhood bar an old guy commented that I liked the guys younger than me. He stated that I was lucky in that as time went by I would have more and more to choose from. He wasn't wrong. Also I got my degree at age 49 on the 13 year plan. Never too late to learn more.

I appreciate the vote of confidence. We shall see, I suppose. Unfortunately for me, I have so little experience with actual physical sex any lad who I were to have sex with would be leading the way. I actually gave my first blowjob to a 30-year-old guy last year, and he had to tell me, "now suck on it like a lollipop." And I wasn't expecting the gagging and my neck to hurt after a while. Not unpleasant (being able to be naked with another guy was one of the most liberating things I've ever felt), but definitely awkward.

Some background: I was fucked up by my upbringing, and worse by an older British guy who catfished me ('twas the early days of the internet, and I was 19-20, and ignored the warning signs) tricking me into thinking he was my age until I was on the verge of suicide after he cut me off (after the guilt became overwhelming to him), and I tracked him down overseas. That made me think I had been tricked into being gay and set me back a decade+. I had finally come out to a few people around the time of the massacre at that bar in Florida. And when I came close to being ready to try again, COVID.

Thinking about it now, the guy who catfished me (we did a lot of phone sex using calling cards) loved the idea of docking. Probably doesn't help my feelings about foreskin. Ha!

 

[mikeyank]

I appreciate the vote of confidence. We shall see, I suppose. Unfortunately for me, I have so little experience with actual physical sex any lad who I were to have sex with would be leading the way. I actually gave my first blowjob to a 30-year-old guy last year, and he had to tell me, "now suck on it like a lollipop." And I wasn't expecting the gagging and my neck to hurt after a while. Not unpleasant (being able to be naked with another guy was one of the most liberating things I've ever felt), but definitely awkward.

Some background: I was fucked up by my upbringing, and worse by an older British guy who catfished me ('twas the early days of the internet, and I was 19-20, and ignored the warning signs) tricking me into thinking he was my age until I was on the verge of suicide after he cut me off (after the guilt became overwhelming to him), and I tracked him down overseas. That made me think I had been tricked into being gay and set me back a decade+. I had finally come out to a few people around the time of the massacre at that bar in Florida. And when I came close to being ready to try again, COVID.

Thinking about it now, the guy who catfished me (we did a lot of phone sex using calling cards) loved the idea of docking. Probably doesn't help my feelings about foreskin. Ha!

I really hope that some other folks on this forum chime in. You are opening up to us Treb, and asking for opinions and advice. C‘mon my fellow forumites, let’s talk again. Mark wants topics and discussions. Let’s chat guys!

 

[trebligon]

I had an uncle who was straight but effeminate because as the youngest of three sons , the parents wanted a dughter & as small child they brought him up as girl but as a man he was married & had no desire to be with guys.

Wow. I feel like I've only heard of that scenario in gender-bending anime like Ranma1/2.

 

[br6205]

Wow. I feel like I've only heard of that scenario in gender-being anime like Ranma1/2.

Goes to show life can be stranger than fiction & we as humans can not imagine all the things that happen out there in our world.

 

[trebligon]

Trebligon, welcome to Broke Straight Boys Writing is great therapy. I write a lot. My books are for commercial targets but my short stories allow me to release my baggage. I am afraid of my new project of writing my memoir, even I don’t know what will fall out as I write. Nearly all my life I was some sort of leader of straight people. When I entered the Navy I was out but I had to keep my sex life to myself. As a federal agent I also had to keep my sexual preference to myself. This also meant that I had to keep my home in a neutral condition. In few words I don’t have a statue of “David” or pictures of male dancers any where in my home. If anything in my house that can snitch me it would be my computer. Alone there is no telling what I would search or links that I would engage, so a simple google search which often has a drop-down listing of where I have been in the internet there for every one to see. Even now I have a gay free computer in my living room where I don’t go searching for anything gay. I am in my closet so deep that even now at age 70 I can’t find away out. I told my straight helper that it makes no sense that I am still in a closet and that I will become more open about what I like. He answered with a very clear doubt that I could.

All my life I have lived a double existence. I would go out to a gay bar and look up and down the street to see if anyone I knew was watching me go inside. Yet inside I have had bartenders tell me that I was in a gay bar more as a warning to behave, because my straight side hadn’t turned off. I considered this a compliment and have found that there are many straight and gay men who like my style. I have been drawn to Broke Straight Boys by the name and I am predator enough not to worry about the implications. During my Navy days I found that the Kinsey report of the early 1950’s was true. Few people are totally gay or straight. We are all somewhere in between. At sea I had plenty of sex. Some how I could read a horny 18 YO and begin to work to get inside him literally. I did have plenty of straight guys. I also learned to avoid the obvious gay men because that turned off (because of fear) the straight guys who were in the majority. It was about the numbers of opportunity.

Having had so much sex with straight men I have developed a preference for masculine men. I don’t go to drag bars and little queens only are attractive to me if they are the only ones around and when I am horny. Straight guys usually don’t make noise when I am in their asses. I agree with you about turning down the volume while watching porn. It seems to me that some of the Latin sites have the actors talking much like I do. I speak pretty good Espanol (I can’t get Word to insert the tilde) but have yet to learn Portuguese so the Brazilian sites leave me hanging when the top is demanding the bottom to do things. These actors make sex like I do. I often tell my bottom straight or gay what to do, how they feel to me, and ask if they like what I am doing. This is a subject that we on Broke Straight Boys have discussed a long time ago. There are plenty of guys here who think that most guys make a lot of noise when having sex. When I run into a screamer, I tell them to shut up. Trebligon you and I have something in common when it comes to noisy sex.

Good luck at school and don’t be shy about sharing here.

You're a professional writer? I am super curious about your work. I suppose it would be exposing your true identity to link to something I could check out, so I won't ask, but if you were inclined to... I think I would especially like to read the memoir. Your way with words ("when I am in their asses") is exciting. Not that I am looking for extra wank material, but it sounds like it could be erotic.

How were you able to be out while in the Navy? Given your professed age, I can only assume it was largely during the era of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, or before.

I'm not someone who tends to put anything up on the walls (maybe if I were a homeowner?), so there won't be any David for me either. BTW, he should be circumcised! I wonder if old Mike knew this and didn't care, or thought it would be incendiary to call attention to a Biblical figure actually being Jewish?

Even when I was in denial about everything after the incident with the British guy, I agreed that there is a spectrum, and no one is truly fully either. I don't understand though, how you can have had sex with straight guys regularly. Is it just that these guys are open to trying anything? That they aren't attracted to men, but just really like stuff in their butts?

If your computer has a number keypad (like on a phone), in Windows if you hold down the ALT button and type 164 with the keypad, then release the ALT key, you can make an ñ.