Personal "Coming Out" experiences of married guys/guys living the straight lifestyle

[mikeyank]

Personal "Coming Out" experiences of married guys/guys living the straight lifestyle

On the "New York City" thread br6205 mentioned that while attending college at The Bronx campus of NYU, he had a girlfriend who became his wife and that they have three sons together. I am a 100% gay man who never had any romantic or sexual experiences with a woman but I am fascinated by guys who either thought that they were straight or who later realized that they were sexually into other guys.

I'd love to hear from BR or any other men who fall into that category when they realized that marriage to a woman was not for them. Were you having sexual experiences with guys the whole time you were with your girlfriends or wives? I know several former forumites and at least two current ones, Peterh and Stowe who were both married. They both knew they had an attraction to men but wanted to live the "normal" straight life and thought they could remain in a traditional male/female relationship, but eventually divorced.

I guess that this would also apply to some of the straighter models who have appeared on the site. According to David who filmed both Broke Straight Boys-1 and the current scenes has told us that he is still in touch with some of his former models, and some are today married or in committed heterosexual relationships with women today. We also know of some like Logan who started off here thinking they were straight, but discovered otherwise. I would love some input from the members on this subject.

 

[br6205]

I always knew I was gay but society at that time enticed me to be "normal" a problem still around but lesser so today. What made it so hard was how it affected me wrt sexual performance. My wife divorced me using my gayness as the reason. Frankly and happily I am not anything like I was then and had I been whom I am now( setting aside I probably would never have married this hot woman)id we would not have divorced. But it did produce 3 sons and for that alone was worth it. mikeyank if you wish to know more you an email me as can anyone else keeping (I don't want to bore others more than I may have now).

 

[mikeyank]

I find it fascinating and would encourage you and others to keep posting on the subject here. I made this separate thread for this subject so anyone not interested doesn’t have to read it.

I was in high school during the mid sixties and discovered the bookstores in the Times Square area when I was around seventeen and used to buy gay magazines and novels there and carry them home in the traditional plain brown paper bag. But I always hid the bag in my school books or in my jacket thinking that everyone would know what was in the bag. lol. And of course I had to hide the periodicals from my family. I saw some cruising in the book stores but never met anyone. I was too scared and didn’t want anyone to know that I was “queer”. I have to go to work now but hope others will contribute to this thread today.

 

[br6205]

Some of which I can relate to, son.

 

[mikeyank]

I would love to hear more stories from closeted married guys or guys who may not have realized themselves that they were gay.

 

[br6205]

' I have to go to work now but hope others will contribute to this thread today & I was in high school during the mid sixties '. Putting you in your 50's I expect indeed a younger generation. What sort of work do you do.

 

[mikeyank]

' I have to go to work now but hope others will contribute to this thread today & I was in high school during the mid sixties '. Putting you in your 50's I expect indeed a younger generation. What sort of work do you do.

I am semi-retired. I graduated high school in 1968 and so I turned 70 in 2020. My final full time job was as a salesman driving around the five boroughs of New York City. When I retired from that job at age 66, I continued working for the same company two days a week in the office. I gave up my car and now travel by public transportation. It is very liberating not having to worry about a car in New York City.

 

[br6205]

Any where, by far the most monetary drain on the non privileged is a car. As to my story as I said before I have a history unlike most others including having a lover 50 years my junior living half a world away, serving in the Israeli army & defeating a cancer that had a 98% fatality rate just to name a few points. Unfortunately many chapters ended abruptly wo explanation. These endings have left their mark on me.

 

[mikeyank]

Any where, by far the most monetary drain on the non privileged is a car. As to my story as I said before I have a history unlike most others including having a lover 50 years my junior living half a world away, serving in the Israeli army & defeating a cancer that had a 98% fatality rate just to name a few points. Unfortunately many chapters ended abruptly wo explanation. These endings have left their mark on me.

I think that many of us have had experiences in our lives that were romantic, tragic and sometimes debilitating to us. It is all part of life. May I ask the circumstances of your lover who was 50 years your junior? Being a person primarily into younger guys, I find the subject fascinating. If it is too personal for you to go into details, that is fine too. But keep in mind that you are anonymous here, so it could be cathartic to let it all out here, if you wish.

 

[mikeyank]

On the subject of closeted married guys and The Bronx and New York City, I had a forum friend, (no longer a member of Broke Straight Boys), who told me a story about when he was in his twenties and had recently been discharged from the military. He was newly married and had a young child, and he drove with his family up to New York City to visit an ex-Army buddy of his who lived with his wife in The Bronx. I believe it was the Throgs Neck area.

Anyway, he told me that one day he drove into Manhattan by himself and went into one of the XXX All Male movie theaters. He went into a "back room" actually in front of the movie screen where he met a Brazilian guy who didn't speak a word of English, but he told me that the guy was beautiful and they had wild sex right in that room. Another friend of mine, who I used to work with later told me that when he is also in his twenties and married living in suburban new Jersey with his wife and young kids, discovered a parking area in New Jersey where he would park his car at night and have sex with anonymous guys in the rest area. Both guys eventually divorced their wives and are living an openly gay life now. But the desire to be "normal" and fit in with society is so strong that people will fight their natural desire to be themselves, and of course some even commit suicide fighting what they perceive to be their demons.

 

[br6205]

Not at all. He was a teen who suffered abuse by his relies including sexual & the person who saved him was a pedophile as well to whom he felt a loyalty but I helped wean him away from I have had abrupt endings occurring in my life wo explanation as I mentioned above this young man was brilliant & an avid rugby player and fan. I knew this relationship would best temporary but one of the few people I fell in love with. He was brutally honest as was I but unlike him I tempered my honesty, we met in m editor phase which is how I met my closest friend Jan. I am an open book and now my many faults which I do not hide. I will tell you anything: good, bad, ugly & embarrassing.

Yes that desire is sadly so and wih a few exceptions leads to heart break.

In my 60's I got involved with a large group of boys and young men who had been horridly abused. They were enslaved and sexually abused by their enslavers but also farmed out. These poor souls were as young as babies. They thought of me as their grandfather and loved me dearly. Then one day it ended abruptly by the leaders 2 lawyers, father & son wo explanation. I have my suspicions as to why but they at least as lawyers should have told me why.

I already think of you as much more than a stranger.

 

[peterh6308]

Most of the longtime members know my story, so I'll edit it down as it is long. I got married when I was 23 at the time I wanted the family, house with the white picket fence etc. It was the mid-80's and I honestly thought that the only way to achieve this was with a woman. I didn't really know to many gay couples who were building a solid long term life together, they were just having fun and making ends meet! I had messed around with guys in my teens and early 20's so I knew i was at least bi. After a year or so of marriage I met Jason and he would become my secret boyfriend. I met William when I was 25 and he was 19 as his brother worked for me. We instantly became best friends. He was a tall, slim, good looking guy who was straight and had lots of girls wanting him, but he did have girlfriend. A year later we went to a party and ended up back at my house as my wife was out of town. He knew about my boyfriend and frequently reminded me that he was straight so don't try anything lol. I had a pool table in my basement and we were down there and I was drunk enough to hit on him and I guess he was too because we did mess around (me being the bottom of course). Things didn't get awkward between us we actually got closer but friends only. A few months passed and I was having strong love feelings for him, but I knew it would never happen. I confessed to my wife that I had fallen in love with someone else and eventually told her it was William. We separated and I moved into my own apartment. Jason was still in the picture, but my heart was all about William! William turned 20 in early May then memorial day weekend we planned an all guys weekend at my new apt. He didn't like Jason hanging around so he insisted that he not hang with us that weekend. Well Friday came and after work we got some booze, grub and whatever else for our long weekend doing guy stuff. Well I got drunk pretty fast and just blurted out that I loved him! He just shook his head didn't really say much but before I knew it we were making out and this time he initiated the sex. Short story he never left that weekend and we spent 20 years together.. Really the only thing in his life that was gay was me lol and as some members who know me I'm fairly masculine naturally so there wasn't a nelly atmosphere in our house. One thing that I did learn though was you can have the family and the home with the white picket fence with the same sex. About 9 years into our relationship he told me he wanted kids, so without getting into to much Logan was born then 10 months later Lily was born. William passed away 12 years ago from complications with type1 diabetes, but he still has my heart 100%. The kids are 23 and 22 and are still in my life and their mothers are still friends of mine. I still have my share of 20 something boys whom frequent my house, but the relationship thing is never on the table.

 

[mikeyank]

Thanks Peter for retelling your story for the newer members. I love the part how you dumped your wife and your boyfriend for William. It is a true love story and how you got your own personal “Broke Straight Boys” to be the love of your life.

 

[br6205]

TY Peter for sharing. I had a second kind of relationship with a second guy . Unlike the first I moved to be with him accross country to San Diego from Boston.. I was warned by his first lover he was mentally troubled. In my arrogance I thought I could change him. It cost me dearly. I was in my late thirties. I hold myself responsible. What did it cost me my career. He was using drugs which was a big no-no. I tried some and while it did no lasting damage. We becme more uninhibited, made out in a plane. Unbeknownst to us there were 2 small kids behind us, they saw nothing but the stewardess did & you can imagine what followed. That I suspect was what those lawyers found out, It had nothing to do with kids but they put 2 & 2 together and came up with 5.

 

[mikeyank]

TY Peter for sharing. I had a second kind of relationship with a second guy . Unlike the first I moved to be with him accross country to San Diego from Boston.. I was warned by his first lover he was mentally troubled. In my arrogance I thought I could change him. It cost me dearly. I was in my late thirties. I hold myself responsible. What did it cost me my career. He was using drugs which was a big no-no. I tried some and while it did no lasting damage. We becme more uninhibited, made out in a plane. Unbeknownst to us there were 2 small kids behind us, they saw nothing but the stewardess did & you can imagine what followed. That I suspect was what those lawyers found out, It had nothing to do with kids but they put 2 & 2 together and came up with 5.

That is very unfortunate. Times have changed and I would think that in 2021 two adults kissing in public could not cost someone their career. I would hope that times have evolved to where that could not happen today. But I am very sorry that you had to deal with all that.

 

[peterh6308]

Thanks Peter for retelling your story for the newer members. I love the part how you dumped your wife and your boyfriend for William. It is a true love story and how you got your own personal “Broke Straight Boys” to be the love of your life.

I still got "Broke Straight Boys" in my life, literally!!! lolololol

 

[tampa24]

I still got "Broke Straight Boys" in my life, literally!!! lolololol

I'm sure you do. If not at home, at least there are plenty at work all the time. Some eye candy for sure. lol

Also, your list of Broke Straight Boys model harem members seems to grow by the month. haha

It's great to see you posting Peter!

 

[br6205]

Yes again you 2 are not strangers to me but kindred spirits whose past travels led 2 here

 

[mikeyank]

Yes again you 2 are not strangers to me but kindred spirits whose past travels led 2 here

This forum can be a wonderful outlet for folks from all across the country and the world to chat about our common interests. I'm glad you found your way to the forum br6205!

 

[br6205]

TY,as I am we met