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How did you find out?

zayboy08

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Just wanted to bring up a topic that I thing will spark a decent convo. I have always wandered how many ppl found out they were gay. Was it your first experience? Did you always have gay thoughts?

I met this guy in high school. He was a weird guy. He wore a blue hoodie to school everyday. One day he kept following me around like I was his best friend. Everyone at school knew he was gay except me which is why they never hung around him. He told me he was gay then I just walked away from him and I tried to stay away from him for a while. I wasn't getting any action from any females. As a matter of fact I was a virgin all through high school. One day I saw him in the restroom and I asked him if he was really gay. He wanted to prove it to me so he got me in the stall and started giving me head. In later days I skipped class and we would fuck in the stalls. From that day forward I continued to have trouble with females so I figured since I can't get girls I may as well be getting some action so I guess my attraction to guys just developed from that.
 
Hi Zayboy,

Thanks for your post, and opening up a bit to us about your journey into discovering that you are gay. The truth is that each of us has our own degree of sexuality and our own way of exploring it. In my case, I never had any doubt that I was attracted to guys and not girls. When I was very young, going back to elementary and junior high school I would go to the school or mainly the public library and I would secretly look in the reference books under "H" to find the word homosexual and find the books and bring them to a quiet table to read about homosexuality. I was comforted to read that many boys go through a phase of exploring sex with other boys, and thought it was a phase that I would grow out of. But as I matured physically, instead of discovering girls, I instead discovered that my desires for boys grew strong, and my heterosexual side never happened.

I'm confident that it is much easier in 2013 for a young guy to relate in the world as gay is a much more socially acceptable way to be, with discussions of gay marriage and lifestyles all over the media today, but obviously this is not universally the case, depending on where we grow up and to what kind of family.

I read in your other post, Zayboy regarding your sexual fantasy where you said, "No one in the world knows that I love guys". We all have to deal with family, friends and employment situations, so there is no universal answer on coming out, or to what extent. But I am glad that you are talking to us here about your life experiences and your desires, as this is a place where you can talk freely and exchange thoughts and your experiences with likeminded people where whether we are gay, bi, straight, men or women we all share your love of guys, so please continue to share here with your forum family. :smile:
 
When I started to have "wet dreams" they ALL involved men/boys. It continued. When I began to see porn I was more interested in the guy then the girl. Had lots of straight sex as I grew up but when I had my first gay sex I knew for sure.
 
Interesting question, and I'll bet there are a whole lot of interesting stories from people on this topic. For myself, I was attracted to men for as long as I can remember. My 6th grade teacher was a man named Mr. L..., and I still have sexual fantasies about him. When I was in the 8th grade, boys all wore tight blue jeans. We had an English teacher who would occasionally make us come to the front of the room to get our papers. There was one boy, very nice looking, who always had an erection when he got called to the front of the room. One day, I was in the washroom. He walked in and said, "Gimme a blowjob." We went into a stall, and he unzipped. I had my mouth on his dick for about 3 seconds, and he came like a sonofabitch. That was my first sexual experience with another male. And I never had another one until I was in college. Those are stories for another post!
 
Thanks alot. I truly do feel like Broke Straight Boys is the only place where I can do what I like and be open with people. But I don't think I will come out. I think I will just enjoy having sex with guys. I still want to have a wife and family someday.
 
Wow Chris. That's interesting. So since you didn't have another encounter with guys until college are you dl?
 
Thanks alot. I truly do feel like Broke Straight Boys is the only place where I can do what I like and be open with people. But I don't think I will come out. I think I will just enjoy having sex with guys. I still want to have a wife and family someday.
Thanks for feeling comfortable with us here on the forum Zayboy. Like I said before you can be open with us here as we all share your attraction for sexual encounters with guys, whether we are exclusively gay, bisexual, primarily straight, and both men and women. You are still young and I think you should keep your options open as to what the future may bring.

I've written erotic stories for Nifty.org and I've made email friends with readers over the years. A guy wrote to me over a year ago, who was married and told me that he had only had sex once with a guy, when on a business trip and he met a young guy in his hotel. Then his wife died suddenly of an illness and he found himself alone and began thinking about guys and started reading gay erotic stories. While he was writing to me, he met a young guy from his neighborhood who moved in to live with him for a few months, and now that young guy went away to college and he decided to go to a gay dance that he heard about near a local college. He has now met a professional man close to his own age, and is dating him, like he used to do with girls. The guy is divorced and has shared custody of his daughter, and my friend said that his boyfriend's daughter really likes him, and he may be getting into a committed relationship with his new friend.

The point is that it is impossible to plan your future in your early twenties, as life sometimes throws you some "curveballs" that you never expected. But feel free to private message me if you want to talk in private or share your thoughts and experiences here on the forum. There are a bunch of really nice guys and girls here who love to listen and share.
 
Thanks alot. I truly do feel like Broke Straight Boys is the only place where I can do what I like and be open with people. But I don't think I will come out. I think I will just enjoy having sex with guys. I still want to have a wife and family someday.
You can have the family without the wife ZB!! I'm guessing you consider yourself Bi, I did too in my late teens. Around the time I turned 25 or so I asked myself the ?, If I fell in love with a woman would I cheat on her with a man (yes) If I fell in love with a man would I cheat on him with a woman (no). For me this clearly swayed me to gay. I was forunate to meet a great guy and he wanted kids, so now their teenagers and I get to be the "fun uncle'.
 
Hey, well I thought I'd chime in on this thread to post on the time I DIDN'T find out, since it's a memory I recently recovered and which made me nearly groan out loud at how very, very innocent I once was.

Now, this was pre-internet, pre-anything like sex education in schools being given before students reached the age of 17. No one had thought to give your young narrator a copy of, "Our Bodies, Ourselves". I was innocent in a way that a young woman could NEVER be today. I was 14 and a counselor-in-training at a YMCA Camp and there, a girl my age spent all three weeks making blatant, overt passes at me and I never figured this out in the slightest.

Probably the best (worst) occasion was after we'd just hiked up to a remote area and were resting after taking off our heavy backpacks. For some reason we were alone.

We were lying side by side on sleeping bags and she leaned over and ran her tongue up the side of my face...

and I turned to her and asked, outraged, "WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?"


She answered, "I just wanted to know what it would feel like."

and I said,

"WELL, DON'T DO IT AGAIN!!!"




That poor girl.

(She later suggested that we zip those sleeping bags together and share the single, mega-bag. That didn't appeal to me either. Clueless!)


Even after getting a little more savvy and having my own first crush on a (different) girl a few years later, I never thought about Camp Girl until very recently. She was cute and sweet too. Ah. What might have been.
 
Interesting topic! Here is my story. I was always attracted to the girls in my elementary and middle school classes. But what worried me was that I am well endowed and was always afraid I would get a hard on if I kissed them or danced too close. Then one day in the locker room in the 8th grade--I was kind of a skinny kid and very naive--I saw standing in the football locker area the quarterback wearing only a jock. I couldn't take my eyes off him. He was in my class and was so good looking (he's a doctor now and still good looking!). I went straight home and put on a jock and rode my bicycle up the hill to a wooded area and jacked off for the first time. From then on it was a daily thing and always with a jock. That image of Joe standing there in the locker room never left me. He was in classes with me, and I loved the vein in his muscular upper arm. He was so good looking, so nice, and so bright. I have often thought that seeing him that day was like what they say about baby ducks--there is a moment when they start following whatever goes by. Whatever feelings I had had for girls disappeared. My first sex with a guy was in college on a trip with a younger friend. It was hand jobs only until he got married--including the night before his wedding. I have had more experiences since then, but I am still turned on by jocks and locker room scenes. I am still "closeted" for the most part. I am sure most people including family have figured it out, but it's just don't ask, don't tell. Lately I have gotten to know some gay guys with whom I can talk openly. That has been liberating, but I am still not interested in going public. It's nobody's business, and I love my job. BTW the younger guys I have coached have not interested me--I am not into illegal contacts. When I was a grad asst coach in college, I had some fun with a couple of guys on the team though. That's enough about me!
 
Ah. What might have been.

That's a great story, haha. It's incredible that she still had the courage to suggest the mega-sleeping bag even after her face-licking move didn't turn out as she'd hoped it would.

I was 13 when I figured it out - I remember I was on this field trip to the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago and we were in pairs exploring the museum. I was with this kid named Blake - who... did not age well, I'm afraid - and I remember looking over at him and being overcome with the desire to kiss him. Well, more than kissing, of course, but I don't think I really knew what at the time.

I had a girlfriend in high school and that was pretty good. I'm from a pretty small town and no one in my high school was out, so I didn't really do anthing with guys until I got to college and expanded my horizons.
 
Wow. I'm getting joy from reading all these great stories. Im glad. can be open on Broke Straight Boys I've had sex with several guys since my first time. I guess I'm bi because I still love women but guys just make me feel so good.
 
Coming out stories are always interesting. Mine was when I was 11 and my cousin's boyfriend was at the house visiting. He was around 13. We had been swimming down the street at a friend's and came back to the house where he told me he wanted to show me an interesting game. His came was mutual fellatio though of course I had no idea what that was at the time. I just know I enjoyed it. I never attached the word "homosexual" to what we did until I was 15 and the book "Everything you ever wanted to know about sex and were afraid to ask" was published.

I was happily having sex with any number of guys at school up until then where we were "simply practicing for marriage".
 
I remember my first proper date with a guy. Someone had given me this guys number and told me "he was like you"lol so I called him (via touch-tone phone)lol and we decided to meet for pizza and beer. As we sat there talking and blah blah, I couldn't help thinking "god please let this cutie be a top" and when can we leave!! Turned out he was! I told him what I was thinking about at dinner and he confirmed he was thinking about the same thing. By george I just figured out that this guy on guy dating thing was a sure way of getting laid everytime. (no disrespect to our woman formites) but going on a date with a guy, there was no awkward "will I get a kiss or better yet get some" that i experienced with woman. He was thinking the same thing as me "what time do we leave and do we have a place to go and do I have a rubber". Well it being the early 80's in Seattle and me being in my early 20's I had a lot of fun.
 
What a fascinating thread! It's interesting reading about how you guys discovered your sexuality and I wish I had an equally interesting personal story to share, but like some of you my sexuality was clear from day dot - straight. Although I'm not in any way attracted to other women and happily married besides, when I was young and single I vaguely envied people who were bisexual, double the choices could've meant double the fun...

A few years ago my mother inlaw spied a grandson kissing his friend (male) while waiting for a taxi late at night outside her house. I was staying over at the time and she woke me up to tell me about it. She was shocked but not horrified, which wasn't bad for a women in her 80s, and my initial reaction was sadness. I wasn't sad because my nephew was possibly gay but because being gay would likely make him feel less able to be his true self in some/most situations.

A few years down the track it is quite obvious he is gay, although he never did 'come out' and we never revealed his secret, but he seems to have a happy life with lots of friends from all walks of life, so maybe modern society is more accepting than I thought...and that's a very good thing.
 
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That was a very nice story Grace. Thank you for sharing it. I'm glad to know that society in Oz is also becoming more accepting of gay people. :)
 
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