Coming out week

[peterh6308]

So I've seen all over the place that this is "coming out week" so I thought it might be interesting to here some
of our own personnel coming out stories. I'll start out and look forward to reading some of your stories.

I realized in my early teens that I was attracted to guys as much as girls. I always had a girlfriend, but also always
had a crush on a guy. I never let anyone know of my inner feelings back then so this secret I kept for another 10 years.

When I was 24 I had been married for a couple of years to a girl and we were happy, but my true desire was to be with
a man. My best friend at the time was straight and within time I fell in love in him and revealed this to my wife. We soon
parted our ways and I pursued him slowly as I didn't want to completely freak him out. We eventually ended up together
for the next 20 years. Here's where my coming out to my Mom story begins: Once my friend and became an item we
never advertised it, it was just there. One day my friend and I were at my brothers house for breakfast and my Mom
was there. She knew my friend because we had been best friends for awhile. Anyway he had to leave and while doing
so he came over and kissed me and said I'll see you at home later. He said goodbye to everyone and left. Now about
15 minutes had passed and I looked over towards my Mom and she was staring smiling. I said well I guess you know
now that I'm gay!! She said I've always known and so happy you are who you really are now!!!

 

[mikeyank]

I'm thirteen years older than you are Peter and so perhaps that is part of the difference and obviously we are totally different people. My mother also always knew that I was gay, but as I never had a long term partner while she was alive, there was no need to discuss it but I knew that she knew. One year when I was in my mid thirties, during my annual trip to Fort Lauderdale for Yankees spring training I met a guy and later invited him to New York to live with me. It was a short term deal, but when the Passover holiday came, I invited him to my parent's house where we had our big family dinner. Kurt was introduced as my friend, but obviously a guy in his early twenties who was living with me was more than a friend.

When my mother died, we were "sitting shiva" at my parent's house. That is the Jewish mourning period where people come over to sit with the family to pay their respects to the deceased. My mother was very close to her gay hair dresser and in fact my parents had gone out to parties on occasion with him and his partner. My brother asked the hairdresser if my mother "knew" about me, and his reply was "Of course she knew". So it was never discussed but it was always known.

Perhaps if I were born later, I would have been more open about my sexuality, but it has always been on a "need to know" basis. All of my straight friends today of course know, but it is not something I have discussed at work over the years, except with close friends. That is my story as a guy born in 1950. Thanks for starting the thread Peter.

 

[JLipps4u]

Well, technically, I was never in "the closet". I was just me! But, being the same age as Mikeyank, I too was from a different generation. I was sexually abused many times very early on, by several people. So, I became aware of sex at a tender age. By grade school, I was in love with my first boy, George. He and I crossed paths often sharing classes until we both graduated and even in junior college. That is a story unto itself! Anyway, I was a sex machine, always. We were poor, and so my parents and their friends relied on each other for baby sitting. Our parents would throw all us children at one house, usually mine, so we could take care of each other while they went out and partied. So naturally, I had sex with all the boys! Even with some of the girls! In fact, I grew up having sex with women until . my 20s. I always have been attracted to women as well. So much so, that I actually have a son out there somewhere, whom I have never met.
I also had siblings who suffered a horrible debilitating illness that eventually ended in a slow and agonizing death. Again, because we were poor, we took care of them ourselves, in our home. As such, I learned to diaper kids by the time I was 10, and by 14, I was cooking for them, feeding them, and taking care of them. I was taught how to cook, how to do laundry, how to clean house. My mom actually taught me, quite well, how to be a perfect little housewife and mother. During my senior year in high school, a cousin of mine had gone away to college. He would send me letters and tell me about his sexcapades. Eventually, my mom intercepted a letter and it was all over! They were very upset and could not understand! But, as I would remind them, you taught how to be a woman, not how to be a man! My father was old school, and could never accept me, so we became bitter enemies. He could be a very cruel man and we spent the rest of our lives hating each other. All my adult life they would try to see if I had changed, they knew a girl! lol They never truly accepted me for who I was. Funny thing is, I was the one who was here, holding them in my arms as each one died. I was bitter most my life, but now that they are gone, I am at peace. I can even appreciate now, all that I actually learned from my dad, even without meaning to! lol
So, all my relatives know I am gay, and they have the choice whether they want to be in my life, or not. I don't care, I don't need them. During my professional life, I was open and coworkers also had the choice, either you like me, or you don't. I taught for several years, and my students always knew I was gay and never had an y problems there either. Bottom line, if you are not going to support me, and pay my way in life, then it is none of your business who i fuck! Take me , or leave me, I continue forward. So, my "coming out" was painful, but I was always good at pulling guys into my "closet"! Hence, my signature here, "So many men, so little time".
I apologize. I didn't mean to bore you all with my life story! But trust me, there is so much more! lol

 

[Repareur]

I think I’ve told part of this before. I know of told about my first boyfriend and how I had my first sexual experience on a 747 crossing the Atlantic when we were 13. I started to say we had our first sexual experience but I found out later he had been messing around with other guys and he started it on the plane. I would not have had the nerve. But we slept in one twin bed the rest of the trip and put our luggage on the other. It was very fun. We grew apart in different classes in school. He is married with 5 kids and won’t accep a friend request on face book. I guess he thinks I’ll out him or someone which of course I wouldn’t.

Even though I had sex with a guy I wasn’t out. I knew I liked guys but I always figured I woukd get married have kids and play with guys on the side. I honestly thought this was the only choice. In high school I was in the closet. People suspected I was gay but I wouldn’t do anything because I didn’t want to confirm their suspension. There were a few out guys who were really treated badly. Knowing what I know now I would have sucked and fucked my way through that high school. I missed some really hot guys and later I did do a few and found out there was lots going on I didn’t know about.

When I went away to college. Back to Texas from Kentucky. My parents were both from Texas and I went to the same school they did. I discovered a cruise route kind of by accident and then I met some upperclassmen and law students who took me under their wing and took me out to the bar. We had one little gay bar with the same folks there all the time but it was very comfortable. Then a school teacher I met took me to Dallas to the gay bars. It was like Dorthy going to OZ or a kid in a candy store. I had no idea these kind of places existed.

Now to the coming out business. I was pretty much out at school but not to my parents. My Dad was a Baptist preacher. He wasn’t a real hard liner like they are today but nevertheless a gay son was not something he wanted or really knew how to deal with. He was a big sportsman and hunter and fisherman and I liked to hang out with mom. Polish silver and help with dinner parties.

There was a cruisy tee room near campus and one day I met this tall dark haired boy with beautiful blue eyes. He had the longest most fabulous legs. Anyway I met him and as I talked to him I found out he had casually dated my sister. My sister had a bad habit of going out with gay guys. She would ask me if this one or that one was gay and I would tell her yes or no. With Robert it was different. I was very smitten. He was in the closet and he made me promise I wouldn’t tell my sister. I engineered inviting him home to our house in Kentucky for thanksgiving. He came as my sisters boyfriend. I was having such strong feeling for him that it was driving me crazy. I couldn’t sleep and I snuck down to our guest room and told him I thought I was in love with him. This was the big cross over for me. I know it sounds crazy but I had drank the cool aid. I thought you only fell in love with women. I knew I liked guys I only wanted to have sex with guys but I never realized you could fall in love with a guy. It sounds silly now but that’s how neiva I was back then.

Robert and I had never had sex. But I was in love. He knew how to reel me in though. He had straight roommates and said he would only have sex if we went away on a trip. I went all out. I wanted a honeymoon. I booked a weekend trip to New Orleans. We had to leave very early in the morning. I got so tickled because our friend that took us to the airport in Dallas at 6 am took a small bag with him. I said what’s that for. He said he was going to stay at the airport for a while and work the tee rooms. This was 1979, way before security lines. Anyway we toured around all day. Had a fabulous dinner at the Rib Room at the Royal Orleans. I remember he wanted oysters and I balked until he said “ you know they are an aphrodisiac” to which I replied we will have 2 dozen. I don’t think we really did but I’ve always thought that was a clever line. Robert ate all of the oysters however many we actually ordered. Still can’t stand the slimy things. Anyway we went out to a gay bar but we were so tired having been going since 4 am we didn’t stay long. We went back to the motel. Got in bed and fell asleep. Still no sex! But in the morning we both woke up and it was on. Robert was a natural power bottom. I was a top. He was the most beautiful guy I’d ever seen to me and here I was fucking him in every position imaginable. We fucked all day long. The maid kept nocking on the door. Robert wouldn’t let me get out of bed to go talk to her. Finally in the afternoon she opened the door after nocking several times. We had the chain latched but I’m sure she saw us in bed with his legs high in the air.

It was dark when we climbed out of that hotel room for dinner and the bars. But I did have my honeymoon and I was never more in love in my life. It was embarrassing how whipped I was over that boy.

But I wasn’t out yet. I think it was Christmas I’m. Not sure because I was at home with my sister and she was very mad at me. She found out I was with Robert and he was gay and I hadn’t told her, because he wouldn’t let me. Anyway we had a Chrystal vs Alexis style fight throwing each other down the staircase etc. She told my parents I was gay and she was worried about me because I was obviously going to hell. That was not a pretty scene. My dad was giving me the third degree. My mom was hurt, why hadn’t I told her. We were so close and we still are but she has never liked any boyfriend. Still tries to uninvite my 18 year boyfriend to family functions. His family includes me often and they are more right wing religions than mine so it pisses me off but that’s just how she is.

So I was thrown out of the closet by my sister because I was dating her boyfriend. Can’t imagine why she was upset. Lol. I have never made it a secret of being gay again. My sister eventually came around. We ended up owning a clothing store with lots of gay employees and she got very comfortable with the whole thing. And I go and decorate her house so she is all ok today. My parents tolerate it because they have no choice.

 

[JLipps4u]

Thanks for sharing that Repareur! I think I would have thrown my sister down the stairs! lol But, I understand. I never had a sister, and I always missed that, but it was for the best! I would have seduced all her boy friends, while telling her she needed to stay virgin and pure! lol God knew what he was doing with me!

 

[petefromsaintpete]

Well guys & sexy ladies, I have my own coming out stories to tell. First off, I am so lucky to be born into a very caring & live and let live family. At an early age, I knew I wasn't like other boys. My first real sexual experience caught me by surprise, My two brothers myself and my cousin was westerling in my cousins room, I had to have been about 14, they all were younger than me. While wrestling I got a hard on, My brother suggested that me and my cousin go inside a closet, with my younger brother following. They suggested that I get undress, as my younger brother lit a match, while I was told to put my dick into my cousins ass, after that I woke up & was out side sitting on a stool not knowing what happen, but feeling that I wanted to try that again. After that , I could never get back into my cousin's big juicy butt, not from the lack of not trying. Before that sex to me was just groping & dry rubbing. Living a pretty sherltered life, I never knew about masterbation until I was 19, boy after seeing my first xxx movie, I caught up on all the lost time I missed. I was so naive, that I had to ask the waitresses, about the sex scenes in the sex movie, example, why was the woman was setting on the guy's face, why was the guy touching himself? Boy was I naive. I went on to college, not having anytime but working and studding, not knowing any of the world around me. After graduating, I was promoted to management, making more money than I ever had, but also not having time to spend it. I met many people along the way, because I never dated or knew people like me, who wasn't effeminate, People began to talk. Being from a small town, everyone expects you to be married by 25 or something is wrong. I did meet some guys at pick up spots, but nothing solid. I met Dennis at a fast food restaurant, he was cooking & I was with my bisexual manager friend Julie. From Dennis, I learnt the joy and frustration of the gay life style. I was a newbie, he was 15 years my senior, lied and told me he was 5 years older, which wouldn't make a difference, but it did to him. My family was getting a little suspicious, when I went from one roommate to another until a big family reunion I was with Stephen who I was with for 6 years, like my previous partners, Stephen was white, my dad was still alive. Stephen asked him, "how would people try to figure him into the equation", my father response to him was he was family. Before our break up, Stephen sung at my younger sister marriage. and my family always ask about him, hell I even brought a transexual with me home one time.( before I figured she wasn't a he, ha ha ha. That's a story for another time.)My family has always respected my friends no matter, who they are. They might ask me, are you sure about that one?

 

[Bartirah]

I find this thread very interesting! Being the straight woman here I don't have a personal coming out story and I have no idea how it is to feel that you need to 'explain' our 'reveal' yourself to others.

Peter, when I was with Mike in NY I remember we talked about this and we said that mothers always know... I am happy that your mother accepted so well.

JLipps, nice to meet you! Your story is you touching in so many levels! I don't know much about you but I like how strong you seem to be!

 

[mikeyank]

I find this thread very interesting! Being the straight woman here I don't have a personal coming out story and I have no idea how it is to feel that you need to 'explain' our 'reveal' yourself to others.

Peter, when I was with Mike in NY I remember we talked about this and we said that mothers always know... I am happy that your mother accepted so well.

JLipps, nice to meet you! Your story is you touching in so many levels! I don't know much about you but I like how strong you seem to be!

Indeed Bart, I recall that conversation as well. It was so cool to meet you and spend the day talking and sight seeing and getting to know each other better. After discovering some very phony people on this and another forum, it is so refreshing to discover how real you are, (as I also discovered with Tampa, Peter & Rep and Betu in person, and of course Stowe, Ms. K, RRHill, Johnny, Buckeye, Rafe and others through emails and phone calls).

I keep saying it but it was amazing to me to meet real life friends through a porn forum. Who would have thunk it?????? LOL

 

[Repareur]

Indeed Bart, I recall that conversation as well. It was so cool to meet you and spend the day talking and sight seeing and getting to know each other better. After discovering some very phony people on this and another forum, it is so refreshing to discover how real you are, (as I also discovered with Tampa, Peter & Rep and Betu in person, and of course Stowe, Ms. K, RRHill, Johnny, Buckeye, Rafe and others through emails and phone calls).

I keep saying it but it was amazing to me to meet real life friends through a porn forum. Who would have thunk it?????? LOL

Mikeyank you know I agree with you. Who would have thought indeed? Lol

 

[tampa24]

Wow Rep. That was a whole lot of drama. Thanks for sharing!