A Sub-Topic From "Are they Really Straight?"

[Rob_Ryder]

So after chatting in the "Are they really straight?" thread, it brought up another topic in my head that I have always thought was interesting.

Obviously we know if a guy enjoys sex with a guy or is attracted to guys then they could be classified as "gay or bi-sexual", BUT what about the guys that have never had sex with guys?

For instance, my roommate a couple months back told me he thought he might be bi-sexual lol. . . He had been thinking about this particular issue for a couple years, but since he never told anyone about it and never is around gay guys, he didn't have the chance to ever hook up with a guy. Thus leaving him in the dark about what it is like.

My thoughts are there are a lot of guys that probably suffer this too. And I feel bad for them because they don't have an outlet or a place to go to see if they like gay sex lol. . . Luckily since I do gay porn, I found the answer to that a long time ago. After being with so many guys it just verified that I definitely don't "get turned on" by gay sex. But most guys don't have the same opportunity as a "gay for pay" model to find out.

So my question is, do you think that even if the guy hasn't technically had sex with a guy, that he could be classified as gay?

 

[another1]

gay by thought, word or deed?
you are what you think you are.
you are what you say you would to be.
you are what you do, because you enjoy it.

 

[stowe1]

So my question is, do you think that even if the guy hasn't technically had sex with a guy, that he could be classified as gay?

The answer Rob is yes. If you are emotionally and/or physiologically attracted to men, then you are gay. I can remember in my teens when other guys got all hot and bothered reading girlie magazines, I got all hot and bothered watching them get hard-ons. But this was in the 50's. So like many of my kind, I supressed those feelings the best I could, got married and had three kids. Stayed married for 22 yrs. But I had plenty of gay sex on the side. Then when I met my first lover, that last emotional piece of my heart and psyche fell into place and I could no longer supress who I was and came out. I loved my ex and still do. But there was that spark missing because I wasn't with the right person for me - a man. So I knew I was gay from when I was 11 yrs old a number of yrs before my first man on man sexual encounter. Having lived the life I've lived, that's why I am both amused and angered when people say it's a choice. It's not - it is the way you were wired from conception. The world and its societal folkways and mores forced me to live a closeted life for many years. Today, kids have a better chance to live true to who they are from an earlier age thanks to evolving societal mores and those of us who fought the good fight so they could live in a better world. And one last thing: it is important to refer to a person's sexuality as sexual orientation as opposed to sexual preference. Orientation connotes how you were born whereas preference implies chocie and believe me it's not.

 

[angelone]

I'm gay. I knew this fact ever since I began being sexual aware - I get-off with men. That doesn't mean I dislike women - I love them as sisters, aunts, grandmothers and yes, even friends. I cannot and will not have sexual intercourse with any woman - it's not in my nature or inclination. You couldn't pay me enough to do it anyway! I wouldn't even try it even out of curiosity. But there are a lot of men both gay and straight that don't have this boundary or chose not to observe it when it comes to having sex with the other orientation for whatever reason. It doesn't seem to bother them; they even find the experience interesting but something that they wouldn't repeat too often. I find such men fascinating because I could not do such an act or do I ever want to.

 

[underwear fun]

To be or not to be?

So my question is, do you think that even if the guy hasn't technically had sex with a guy, that he could be classified as gay?

Good question Rob.

So my boomerang question back is, do you think that even if the guy hasn't technically had sex with a girl, that he could be classified as straight?

Undie

 

[jayshaw]

Rob, You say that you "don't get turned on" by gay sex. You certainly fooled me! I think you deserve an Oscar for Best Actor.

 

[mikeyank]

The answer Rob is yes. If you are emotionally and/or physiologically attracted to men, then you are gay. I can remember in my teens when other guys got all hot and bothered reading girlie magazines, I got all hot and bothered watching them get hard-ons. But this was in the 50's. So like many of my kind, I supressed those feelings the best I could, got married and had three kids. Stayed married for 22 yrs. But I had plenty of gay sex on the side. Then when I met my first lover, that last emotional piece of my heart and psyche fell into place and I could no longer supress who I was and came out. I loved my ex and still do. But there was that spark missing because I wasn't with the right person for me - a man. So I knew I was gay from when I was 11 yrs old a number of yrs before my first man on man sexual encounter. Having lived the life I've lived, that's why I am both amused and angered when people say it's a choice. It's not - it is the way you were wired from conception. The world and its societal folkways and mores forced me to live a closeted life for many years. Today, kids have a better chance to live true to who they are from an earlier age thanks to evolving societal mores and those of us who fought the good fight so they could live in a better world. And one last thing: it is important to refer to a person's sexuality as sexual orientation as opposed to sexual preference. Orientation connotes how you were born whereas preference implies chocie and believe me it's not.

Stowe1, first of all thank you for sharing your life's story of your sexuality. I have known, and known of many men who also got married and had children because that is what they were "supposed" to do. I am so glad for you that you came to the realization that you were living a lie.

And I also want to say that your words that I've highlighted certainly express my sexuality as well. I understand that we are all wired somewhat differently, and for some it is a "preference" but for me the words "sexual preference" rather than "sexual orientation" have always struck me as not really expressing my situation.

Thanks for the terrific post!!!!

 

[cum2me01]

Your orientation is what defines you as gay, straight or bi, not your experiences. A straight guy may in his life date many different women, but choose not to have sex until he marries one. That does not make him less straight until he is married and has his first sexual experience.

 

[jtdestin]

So after chatting in the "Are they really straight?" thread, it brought up another topic in my head that I have always thought was interesting.

Obviously we know if a guy enjoys sex with a guy or is attracted to guys then they could be classified as "gay or bi-sexual", BUT what about the guys that have never had sex with guys?

For instance, my roommate a couple months back told me he thought he might be bi-sexual lol. . . He had been thinking about this particular issue for a couple years, but since he never told anyone about it and never is around gay guys, he didn't have the chance to ever hook up with a guy. Thus leaving him in the dark about what it is like.

My thoughts are there are a lot of guys that probably suffer this too. And I feel bad for them because they don't have an outlet or a place to go to see if they like gay sex lol. . . Luckily since I do gay porn, I found the answer to that a long time ago. After being with so many guys it just verified that I definitely don't "get turned on" by gay sex. But most guys don't have the same opportunity as a "gay for pay" model to find out.

So my question is, do you think that even if the guy hasn't technically had sex with a guy, that he could be classified as gay?

Simple Ans. NO.

But
I truely believe you can enjoy sex with a male or female with out being gay/straight.
You can just enjoy the act of having sex!
jt

P.S.
maybe your room mate wanted your help with this particular issue. lol

 

[freeky-b]

Rob,

Being gay is NOT defined by who you have sex with. I've have sex with straight guys who are emotionally attached to women and I've had sex with straight women who are "emotionally attracted" to gay men. I love it all but at my core, I'm emotionally attracted to men.

As other have mentioned, being gay is a "state of being" with an emotional attraction to the same sex. Hence, if two people of the same sex have sex together, neither of them need be "emotionally" attracted to the other to complete the "sex" act.

You stated, "Obviously we know if a guy enjoys sex with a guy or is attracted to guys then they could be classified as "gay or bi-sexual", BUT what about the guys that have never had sex with guys?"

So here's how I see things. If I take apart your statement here's what I get:

"Obviously we know if a guy enjoys sex with a guy ....then they could be classified as "gay or bi-sexual" NOT TRUE. People are sexual creatures, some more sexual than others. Two persons of the same sex can have and enjoy the "sex" act and not be "emotionally" attracted to each other. These folks are purely sexual, not gay or bi.

"Obviously we know if a guy ......is attracted to guys then they could be classified as "gay or bi-sexual". This Could be TRUE, only if the attraction is on an emotional level. If its just on a sexual level than I'd give it a NOT TRUE! (For example, I'm gay but I have had and continue to have sex with women attracted to gay men, but I am in no way emotionally attracted to women, sexual yes..emotional no.)

".......BUT what about the guys that have never had sex with guys?" Unfortunately, this third part of your statement for me, does not logically follow the other two. But I will say this- who you have sex with DOES NOT define your sexual orientation. Sexual Orientation is cast when you are born and is based on one's NATURAL EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION to the same, both or opposite sex.

You might help your roommate sort thing out by asking where is his 'emotional' attraction. If it's to the opposite sex, that definitely OK! However, who knows, he still might enjoy having a prostate massage! In all fairness, this could be done by another "sexual' male or female partner. (Smile)

Luv ya Rob,

Freeky-b Forever!

 

[lesit78]

Rob,

Being gay is NOT defined by who you have sex with. I've have sex with straight guys who are emotionally attached to women and I've had sex with straight women who are "emotionally attracted" to gay men. I love it all but at my core, I'm emotionally attracted to men.

As other have mentioned, being gay is a "state of being" with an emotional attraction to the same sex. Hence, if two people of the same sex have sex together, neither of them need be "emotionally" attracted to the other to complete the "sex" act.

You stated, "Obviously we know if a guy enjoys sex with a guy or is attracted to guys then they could be classified as "gay or bi-sexual", BUT what about the guys that have never had sex with guys?"

So here's how I see things. If I take apart your statement here's what I get:

"Obviously we know if a guy enjoys sex with a guy ....then they could be classified as "gay or bi-sexual" NOT TRUE. People are sexual creatures, some more sexual than others. Two persons of the same sex can have and enjoy the "sex" act and not be "emotionally" attracted to each other. These folks are purely sexual, not gay or bi.

"Obviously we know if a guy ......is attracted to guys then they could be classified as "gay or bi-sexual". This Could be TRUE, only if the attraction is on an emotional level. If its just on a sexual level than I'd give it a NOT TRUE! (For example, I'm gay but I have had and continue to have sex with women attracted to gay men, but I am in no way emotionally attracted to women, sexual yes..emotional no.)

".......BUT what about the guys that have never had sex with guys?" Unfortunately, this third part of your statement for me, does not logically follow the other two. But I will say this- who you have sex with DOES NOT define your sexual orientation. Sexual Orientation is cast when you are born and is based on one's NATURAL EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION to the same, both or opposite sex.

You might help your roommate sort thing out by asking where is his 'emotional' attraction. If it's to the opposite sex, that definitely OK! However, who knows, he still might enjoy having a prostate massage! In all fairness, this could be done by another "sexual' male or female partner. (Smile)

Luv ya Rob,

Freeky-b Forever!

Freeky-b, you are absolutely entitled to your opinion but I completely disagree with most everything you said above. I do agree with you that being gay is not defined by who you have sex with, but instead is defined by who turns you on.

But it seems as though what you're saying is that it doesn't matter who turns you on, men or women, to determine your sexual orientation. If you're turned on by guys only, but emotionally attracted to women, according to your definition you're straight? Even though girls do nothing for you sexually? Makes absolutely no sense to me. You also say that you're not bi, even though you're attracted to guys and girls both and have sex with them both (or are turned on by them both)?

It is purely a question of sexual orientation, and sexual preference in my opinion.

When you say that women who are emotionally attracted to women more than men, but have sex with men only, according to your above definition that makes them lesbians. Completely bizarre.

I think as a general rule, most of us are emotionally attracted to individual people rather than a specific gender. Emotional attraction is along the lines of who you get along with, who you understand, who you enjoy spending time with. Emotional attraction is the opposite of emotional repulsion (people you dislike or cannot stand).

According to your above definition, a man who has "girlfriends", who he spends his social time with and gets along with the best, but only has sex with guys, he's straight because he's emotionally attracted to women.

I think there are as many different and varied opinions as to what makes a person gay, straight, bi sexual, curious, are as many as there are people.

But in my opinion, at the end of the day, if you're a guy and turned on by other guys but not girls, you're gay. If you're a guy and turned on by girls but not guys, you're straight. If you're turned on by both, you're bi. Who you're emotionally attracted to (regardless of if you're sexually attracted to them or not), you're friends with them or at least would like to be.

I am very attracted to various women emotionally, including my mom and sister, but not my two brothers at all. In your opinion, does that make me straight?

Abe

 

[mikeyank]

But in my opinion, at the end of the day, if you're a guy and turned on by other guys but not girls, you're gay. If you're a guy and turned on by girls but not guys, you're straight. If you're turned on by both, you're bi. Who you're emotionally attracted to (regardless of if you're sexually attracted to them or not), you're friends with them or at least would like to be.

It seems so obvious to me Abe, that what you say is correct. You have described the three basic states of human sexuality, straight, bi and gay. Of course, as Dr. Kinsey explained that there are more than three variations, but the way I see things, Abe is speaking the truth.

 

[cumrag27]

Maybe this sounds a little corny, but...

Originally Posted by abush11
But in my opinion, at the end of the day, if you're a guy and turned on by other guys but not girls, you're gay. If you're a guy and turned on by girls but not guys, you're straight. If you're turned on by both, you're bi. Who you're emotionally attracted to (regardless of if you're sexually attracted to them or not), you're friends with them or at least would like to be.



Dear Abe,

Along with Mikeyank, I feel compelled to second his motion. As far back as I can remember, you are always so straight-forward (no pun intended here) that this one factor is why I have appreciated your posts so much.

WARNING: ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISKS! BLASTING ZONE/HARD HAT AREA
The "corny part" starts here, bestowed with a name like Abe, I have had great difficulty resisting the urge of the following suggestion, namely using "Honest Abe" as your handle. Alright! Alright! I GET iT! I told you it was "corny", but I always say when the "glass slipper fits", wear it! It seems to me to fit your personality perfectly!

Now that I got this out of my system, life can go on as before! I will not burden you with my rantings over your name "Abe" anymore.

Sincerely,


Stimpy