A question about relationships and age

[BrokeStraightBoys]

I have always been around guys younger than me. It doesn't matter if it is friends or lovers, they are always younger. I have always dated guys younger than myself. I think it has to do with some childhood trama I had. Do you think age really matters? It worries me sometimes because being attracted to younger guys can be a receipe for disaster. I have dated a lot of guys that just weren't ready for me. I have seen guys in relationships where there is 15 year age difference. I guess you can't help who you fall in love with. I think the major issue with a big age difference would be life experiences and maturity. What is your input and experience with this?

Thanks,
Mark

 

[LesterM]

I have had one 2 relationships with guys my own age and one with a guy about 10 years older than myself I have loved them all for different resons . We shared and cared for each other. The older guy taught me a great deal and I would be much poorer had I not gone with that I think it is all about care and respect

 

[kham]

I like to think of age as simply a number and not a "dating permission card" so to speak. I think it varies for every person really.

Personally, the majority of my relation ships I've been the older of the two ranging from a few months to a few years. When it's flipped though I've dated guys who are older than my by up to 11 years (not saying that's the largest age gap I would ever allow but it's the largest that's ever happened to exist so far).

It's rather different in Britain though to America and Canada since our age restrictions for sex are much lower, we're now "allowed" to have sex from 16 on wards whether that be a man/woman, woman/woman or man/man based copulation. I think from that point of view the age gaps are usually started much earlier in our lives. For instance when I started "legally" having sex, my first partner was already in his 20's. We wont go into the times from before I "legally" had sex with partners.

To sum up though, no I don't think age is the most important factor when picking a partner either sexually or romantically, since age doesn't always define a persons interests, maturity, ability to care, or their sexual appetite I know plenty of people my own age who are far less mature than I am and I know plenty of people who are younger than myself who are just as mature as I am.

 

[Umbro_nl]

As long as there are no legal issues, I think there shouldn't be any problems with differences in age. The important thing is that both partners have the same intrests.

I have experiences with guys a few years older and a few years younger. The only problem I had with (much) younger guys, was the fact they wanted to go out more, clubbing and stuff. I am now at the age of "been there, done that".

Eventhough men/boys in their early twenties often are the most beautiful creatures on the face of this planet, for me they are starting to get out of range. As sad as it may be.

Such is life. Like everything changes, I drive more carefully, eat healthier, stopped being a lush, and need enough hours of sleep.

Gawd, I never thought I'd ever write this......

 

[denver0102]

Age...this is a tough one...I think age isn't as big of a deal as maturity/life experience is. For instance you can have someone who is in their late teens/early twenties who has already experienced some tough life lessons and has become more wise and mature because of it or you could have the exact opposite where a person has been 'sheltered' or reserved for most of their life and is less mature or secular. So don't let the age differences scare you...when you get to know someone be it they are 20 or 40 you will be able to tell what life has tought them so far and if they are right for you or not.

 

[BrokeStraightBoys]

Thanks for the input on this everyone. I'm not looking to date anyone under age that is for sure. I just have guys interested that are in their early 20's.

Mark

 

[Jayman01]

Age is just a number. I think that we all connect for a reason. Sometimes it is to release karma from a past life and sometimes it is to leran a life's lesson. The best rule I have always had is keep an open mind. You never know who you will be attracted to and who will be attracted to you. In any case, the most important thing is that you feel a connection and a sense of loyalty and trust. I think everything else comes after that...

I always follow Michael' Bolton on this. "How can we be lovers if we can't first be friends."

 

[Markymark]

Age is just a number. I think that we all connect for a reason. Sometimes it is to release karma from a past life and sometimes it is to leran a life's lesson. The best rule I have always had is keep an open mind. You never know who you will be attracted to and who will be attracted to you. In any case, the most important thing is that you feel a connection and a sense of loyalty and trust. I think everything else comes after that...

I always follow Michael' Bolton on this. "How can we be lovers if we can't first be friends."

And sometimes, it's because God puts someone in your path, for his reasons. It's like an introduction from the Almighty!

I am,

 

[GreatLakes2]

I always follow Michael' Bolton on this. "How can we be lovers if we can't first be friends."

Fellow members, very little of anything good can come from any piece of advice that mentions following Michael Bolton.

You know how everyone wears WWMBD jewelry to remind them to ask "What Would Michael Bolton Do"? No, well assume that there is a good reason for that.

Sorry, don't mean to be hating on MB. It just sounded odd that the most mystical writer on the forum is pulling out an old MB lyric.

But to the matter at hand, being with a man 20 years my junior (I'm 45) would make me feel self conscious and awkward. I think guys that age are attractive, and many of my co-workers at in that range, but the idea of bringing them to bed would be icky. Age might just be a number, but the fact that I would be old enough to be their dad just freaks me out. It would feel unnatural. Then again, sleeping with a 65 year old is nothing I am interested in either. But I am sure it will fine when I get there.

I like to watch younger guys, which is why I am here, but couldn't imagine being involved.

But I am not a yardstick for normality.

 

[raysvq]

For me it isn't an issue

You are only as old as the guy you are feeling

 

[Jayman01]

Fellow members, very little of anything good can come from any piece of advice that mentions following Michael Bolton.

You know how everyone wears WWMBD jewelry to remind them to ask "What Would Michael Bolton Do"? No, well assume that there is a good reason for that.

Sorry, don't mean to be hating on MB. It just sounded odd that the most mystical writer on the forum is pulling out an old MB lyric.

But to the matter at hand, being with a man 20 years my junior (I'm 45) would make me feel self conscious and awkward. I think guys that age are attractive, and many of my co-workers at in that range, but the idea of bringing them to bed would be icky. Age might just be a number, but the fact that I would be old enough to be their dad just freaks me out. It would feel unnatural. Then again, sleeping with a 65 year old is nothing I am interested in either. But I am sure it will fine when I get there.

I like to watch younger guys, which is why I am here, but couldn't imagine being involved.

But I am not a yardstick for normality.

I guess you are busting my chops for fun or you misunderstood my comments. I don't go around looking for love or trying to find love. I do believe that eventually true love will find everyone. I love everybody equally for the most part. I would never consider a relationship with someone that I couldn't find enough common ground with to just be friends. If things go belong that then so be it...

 

[gwr19569424]

I can remember my first gay relationship. It was after I discharged from the Army in 1980 and went back down to stay at my parents in Buena Park, CA. I met this guy and we seen each other for a while before we made it a relationship around November of 80. We decided to get our own place and was together for four years. We were both pretty new to the relationship thing and our relationship was falling apart so we parted ways. He is 2 years younger than I am but to this day we still keep in touch and has a partner and live in Palm Springs. Since that time, I have had one other relationship besides the one that I am in currently. My current partner whom is quite a number of years younger than I am considers himself bi, but vows not to see anyone else while we are in a relationship. We have actually known each other for about 6 years. I am very happy with our relationship even with the wide age gap and his interests are really different than mine. By the way his name is Jon.
Gary

 

[raysvq]

It really comes down only to the 2 individuals not matter what age or ages they are. Clicking with the right person, whether he or she be younger, older or the same age, is all that matters.

 

[Jayman01]

It really comes down only to the 2 individuals not matter what age or ages they are. Clicking with the right person, whether he or she be younger, older or the same age, is all that matters.

Amen

 

[gwr19569424]

When I was younger, I always thought that two people that are about the same age was appropriate, but as I got older, I found myself leaning toward the younger guys and that is because we can both learn from each other. As RAYSVQ and other have stated, it really don't matter the age, what matters is that you are happy with each other.
Gary

 

[tampa24]

Age...this is a tough one...I think age isn't as big of a deal as maturity/life experience is. For instance you can have someone who is in their late teens/early twenties who has already experienced some tough life lessons and has become more wise and mature because of it or you could have the exact opposite where a person has been 'sheltered' or reserved for most of their life and is less mature or secular. So don't let the age differences scare you...when you get to know someone be it they are 20 or 40 you will be able to tell what life has tought them so far and if they are right for you or not.

Well said Denver! Like they say: Don't judge a book by its cover.

 

[tampa24]

And sometimes, it's because God puts someone in your path, for his reasons. It's like an introduction from the Almighty!

I am,

That reminds me of a quote from a book that Jayman and I use as part of our spiritual path here on the earthly plane.

"Whenever you meet anyone it is a Holy encounter."